Author Topic: Have you checked your Reality Grids lately?  (Read 1290 times)

AFK

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Have you checked your Reality Grids lately?
« on: June 13, 2012, 12:28:41 am »
Well, have you?
 
If I were you I'd get on it stat. 
 
The thing is, you have to make sure those fuckers are aligned properly, otherwise, the whole thing will rattle and shake, and then you'll end up in the fucking ditch.
 
You have to make sure all of the pegs and widgets and doohickeys are in the proper sockets.  You can't have the thing veering off into the field. 
 
Luckily for you, we have the patent-pending Reality Grid Rev-Up Special, now through Labor Day!
 
Bring your Reality Grid to us and we will use our special comptroller to check and make sure it is up to the proper specs.  If it is out of alignment, don't worry, we have a special 10-step process that flushes out all of the kinks and burps and gets it humming just like all of the other Vehicles on the road.
 
So what are you waiting for?  Come see us today!  Ask us about our free radiator flush and ear flossing.
Cynicism is a blank check for failure.

The Good Reverend Roger

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Re: Have you checked your Reality Grids lately?
« Reply #1 on: June 13, 2012, 12:29:25 am »
Gee, I'm interested...But what's your warranty like?
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

 "Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

AFK

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Re: Have you checked your Reality Grids lately?
« Reply #2 on: June 13, 2012, 12:38:25 am »
It's backed by sorrow and tears, and the crushed dreams of 50 year old Account Executives.
Cynicism is a blank check for failure.

The Good Reverend Roger

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Re: Have you checked your Reality Grids lately?
« Reply #3 on: June 13, 2012, 12:39:55 am »
It's backed by sorrow and tears, and the crushed dreams of 50 year old Account Executives.

Well, shit, sign me up!

I'd like to have the frontal lobes realigned, and just drive a spike through my pleasure center, because it's just a big Goddamn distraction.
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

 "Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

AFK

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Re: Have you checked your Reality Grids lately?
« Reply #4 on: June 13, 2012, 12:44:13 am »
We're having a shortage on spikes.  Will you settle for a cattle-prod aenima?
Cynicism is a blank check for failure.

AFK

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Re: Have you checked your Reality Grids lately?
« Reply #5 on: June 13, 2012, 12:48:26 am »
Call today and we'll throw in a bottle of the Amazing Starbucks Window Wash!
Cynicism is a blank check for failure.

Phil N.D. Blank

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Re: Have you checked your Reality Grids lately?
« Reply #6 on: June 29, 2012, 04:28:51 am »
What happens if there is a design flaw in the Reality Grid?