Various types of meditation techniques.

[The Twid]

So, for some unknown reason, over the past couple of days, I've reverted to the forms of Catholicism. I'm still not a Catholic, nor any sort of Christian. Fuck the Pope. He made Anakin turn to the dark side. Also, he was a Nazi. But there was this... just this sort of thing inside me that said "pray the Rosary." (hence the Gozery beads comment in the band names thread).

I prayed it in English, and it made my mind shut up. I prayed it in Latin, and it made my mind shut up even more. It wasn't the content. It was the formula. Catholic prayers are very formulaic. They're incantations. The Rosary is a very long incantation. Now, your conscious mind is following a set of instructions, and focusing exclusively on the rote instructions. Conscious thought is bypassed. I tried it with other Catholic prayers, in both languages (the Latin is superior. Even though you can rattle off a Hail Mary in English without thinking, some words here and there are going to distract. An Ave Maria is in a dead language, and therefore processed elsewhere, which can be easily ignored, as long as you are reading it off the page and not remembering it. Again, different programs).

I will admit, I did feel something odd when praying the prayer for Reparation for Blasphemy Against The Trinity (by Christian standards, I am damned regardless. I have blasphemed against the Holy Spirit, with the intent of doing so. But I felt pretty nice saying, "hey dude, sorry for talking shit about you." It wasn't enough to make me believe, but I think I hit a good combination of programs there to give me inner peace. I made peace with who I used to be, in two senses. The former Catholic, and the Pagan rebel. Don't need either anymore (my religion will probably remain Irish Paganism, but I feel good at not thinking of myself as a Pagan. As a matter of fact, resisting it. I should shun all labels). Or at least to make peace with my former god. And that's the important thing, no? Apparently my OS is Roman Catholic, no matter how many contrary downloads I make.

But back to the point. It's much easier for me to whip out the beads and run rosary.exe than to go, "Ok Brain. Let's make a deal. I'll be quiet if you be quiet." "OK." "No dude shut up. Don't respond." "Noted." " " The Latin removes meaning. It is currently useful to me. Feel free to experiment with it too, and let me know what mind hacks you use because I find Catholic morality repugnant on many levels, and would personally love to see the cult die. Note though, doing the Rosary properly is distracting. That is, meditating on whatever mystery that the day is set aside for. You're supposed to be running a blind program. Meditating (which has a different connotation in Christianity than its Eastern counterpart) on the events of Jesus' and Mary's lives aren't going to help the hack. They'll get in the way.

[E.O.T.]

TWID,

          That is a beautiful and bare naked expression of your inner religious dialogue. Thank you for sharing that.

[The Twid]

TWID,

          That is a beautiful and bare naked expression of your inner religious dialogue. Thank you for sharing that.

I'm probably going to struggle with religion for the duration of my existence. I recognize that I need it. I recognize that I will always have a soft spot for Catholicism, again with the caveat, that I vehemently disagree with it, and not just on a rational level, but a visceral level. But I remember when we were burying my grandmother. I was unprepared for it, the intensity of the whole thing. And not just because she was a direct ancestor who I loved. In an Irish burial, someone close takes a whole decade of the Rosary. Dad jabbed me. Up until that point I was holding hands with him and my sister. And I wasn't paying attention. I was focused on my grief. But when dad jabbed me, even though this was the first time I had done this (I've been an integral part of an American Catholic funeral before a few times) particular culture specific geographic specific ritual, I knew exactly what to do. I let go of my father's hand and counted. Index up. Thumb up. Middle up. Ring up. Pinkie up. Reverse process because that's ten Hail Marys.

It made me realize, struggle against it and almost a year later though I may, that Catholicism without belief may actually be useful to me.

Over the past few days, I have even entertained regular prayer to St. Ciaran of Clonmacnoise regardless of religious inclination (my last name means Grandson of St. Ciaran's Follower). My current religious paradigm includes ancestor veneration. Well, my last name was first attested in 1052 CE. This means that one of my ancestors was active in the Catholic church over a millennium ago. I even took Ciaran as my Confirmation name, even though I did it to please my family when I had already converted. All of the ancestors I know were Catholic. Therefore, I must respect their afterlife model. It helps that he was a scholar. I was thinking of directing it in such a way as to kindle zeal in learning. Clonmacnoise was actually a very what's the word... instrumental monastery in evangelizing Europe and maintaining knowledge of the past. Viking raids notwithstanding.

I find the words of the Rosary to be spiritually irrelevant. I find the formula to be a good way to meditate for a Western brain.

And again, I can't really describe the feeling I got when apologizing to the mysterious third person of the Trinity, but I felt forgiven. I felt forgiven for something that the Bible specifically says is unforgivable. Don't know what happened there, but I'm glad I had the feeling.

[My Other Username Is A Pseudonym]

I totally get it Twid.  I have to admit, there have been days inmy past where I've thought about the, comfort, there was in religion.  I was a Baptist as a young one.  Of course, it isn't nearly as ritualistic or ceremonial as Catholicism, but there still were the comforts of being with a group of people singing, having that quiet reflective time for prayer, etc.


Ultimately, I still don't believe in any kind of Deity.  But I recognize and empathize with elements of organised religion that have some level of benefit for an individual even if they, inthe end, are praying to and working for nothing.

[Phox]

I feel ya, Twid. I remember posting something about this relating to religious iconography on Esoterica Ltd. Perhaps it's a topic I should revisit.

[The Good Reverend Roger]

So, for some unknown reason, over the past couple of days, I've reverted to the forms of Catholicism. I'm still not a Catholic, nor any sort of Christian. Fuck the Pope. He made Anakin turn to the dark side. Also, he was a Nazi. But there was this... just this sort of thing inside me that said "pray the Rosary." (hence the Gozery beads comment in the band names thread).

That's the monkey looking out into the jungle at night.

[Freeky Queen of DERP]

Even so, having a ritual that gives you peace is a pretty sweet thing, and I personally envy you for it.

[The Twid]

I feel ya, Twid. I remember posting something about this relating to religious iconography on Esoterica Ltd. Perhaps it's a topic I should revisit.

Once a Catholic right? It is easy to adapt though. The brain space is already taken up with it. You never really forget the more frequent prayers and such.

So, for some unknown reason, over the past couple of days, I've reverted to the forms of Catholicism. I'm still not a Catholic, nor any sort of Christian. Fuck the Pope. He made Anakin turn to the dark side. Also, he was a Nazi. But there was this... just this sort of thing inside me that said "pray the Rosary." (hence the Gozery beads comment in the band names thread).

That's the monkey looking out into the jungle at night.

Perhaps. But the monkey knew what would distract the mind enough to get to the point where I could meditate. And truth be told, I could use regular meditation. I'm not about to go into a confessional booth (Priest would be there all day anyway, and I wouldn't really be sorry for a good half of it.) but if the format's already there, may as well make some use of it.

Even so, having a ritual that gives you peace is a pretty sweet thing, and I personally envy you for it.

Due to my Pagan foolishness, I do have some rituals that I can use but they're not really useful for daily purposes. Plus they're not memorized, which is part of the point. If I knew some katas or yoga sequences that were of sufficient length and I had the muscle memory to just execute them without thinking too much on them, that would probably do as well. But the fact remains that I was Catholic until I was 16. That's my kata right there.

[The Good Reverend Roger]

Perhaps. But the monkey knew what would distract the mind enough to get to the point where I could meditate. And truth be told, I could use regular meditation. I'm not about to go into a confessional booth (Priest would be there all day anyway, and I wouldn't really be sorry for a good half of it.) but if the format's already there, may as well make some use of it.

I love confession time.  The priests don't, for some reason.

Anyway, whatever works for you.  Personally, I prefer pills and rude behavior.

[The Twid]

Perhaps. But the monkey knew what would distract the mind enough to get to the point where I could meditate. And truth be told, I could use regular meditation. I'm not about to go into a confessional booth (Priest would be there all day anyway, and I wouldn't really be sorry for a good half of it.) but if the format's already there, may as well make some use of it.

I love confession time.  The priests don't, for some reason.

Anyway, whatever works for you.  Personally, I prefer pills and rude behavior.

...holy shit...

Maybe I will go to confession. 

I like the pills (or bottle in my case) and rude behavior too, but I do like to have some sort of control over myself. If I have to externalize that to a 2000 year old dead woman who got knocked up by some winged dude named Gabe for about a half hour for the time being, meh.

I'll probably end up ditching it once it stops being useful to me.

[The Good Reverend Roger]

Perhaps. But the monkey knew what would distract the mind enough to get to the point where I could meditate. And truth be told, I could use regular meditation. I'm not about to go into a confessional booth (Priest would be there all day anyway, and I wouldn't really be sorry for a good half of it.) but if the format's already there, may as well make some use of it.

I love confession time.  The priests don't, for some reason.

Anyway, whatever works for you.  Personally, I prefer pills and rude behavior.

...holy shit...

Maybe I will go to confession. 

I like the pills (or bottle in my case) and rude behavior too, but I do like to have some sort of control over myself. If I have to externalize that to a 2000 year old dead woman who got knocked up by some winged dude named Gabe for about a half hour for the time being, meh.

I'll probably end up ditching it once it stops being useful to me.

"Father, it's been 30 years since I've made confession.  You have time, I hope." --->  Done at 11:45 AM.

[The Twid]

Perhaps. But the monkey knew what would distract the mind enough to get to the point where I could meditate. And truth be told, I could use regular meditation. I'm not about to go into a confessional booth (Priest would be there all day anyway, and I wouldn't really be sorry for a good half of it.) but if the format's already there, may as well make some use of it.

I love confession time.  The priests don't, for some reason.

Anyway, whatever works for you.  Personally, I prefer pills and rude behavior.

...holy shit...

Maybe I will go to confession. 

I like the pills (or bottle in my case) and rude behavior too, but I do like to have some sort of control over myself. If I have to externalize that to a 2000 year old dead woman who got knocked up by some winged dude named Gabe for about a half hour for the time being, meh.

I'll probably end up ditching it once it stops being useful to me.

"Father, it's been 30 years since I've made confession.  You have time, I hope." --->  Done at 11:45 AM.

Internet says there's a church two blocks from here and Confessions are Saturdays from 3-4 *or* by appointment. Hmmm...

[The Good Reverend Roger]

Perhaps. But the monkey knew what would distract the mind enough to get to the point where I could meditate. And truth be told, I could use regular meditation. I'm not about to go into a confessional booth (Priest would be there all day anyway, and I wouldn't really be sorry for a good half of it.) but if the format's already there, may as well make some use of it.

I love confession time.  The priests don't, for some reason.

Anyway, whatever works for you.  Personally, I prefer pills and rude behavior.

...holy shit...

Maybe I will go to confession. 

I like the pills (or bottle in my case) and rude behavior too, but I do like to have some sort of control over myself. If I have to externalize that to a 2000 year old dead woman who got knocked up by some winged dude named Gabe for about a half hour for the time being, meh.

I'll probably end up ditching it once it stops being useful to me.

"Father, it's been 30 years since I've made confession.  You have time, I hope." --->  Done at 11:45 AM.

Internet says there's a church two blocks from here and Confessions are Saturdays from 3-4 *or* by appointment. Hmmm...

3:45.  Have a laundry list of mundane, boring ass sins.

Maybe have something atrocious at the end.  Do not claim that you've done anything seriously illegal.

Maybe you shat in the poor box at the other cathedral.

[The Twid]

Perhaps. But the monkey knew what would distract the mind enough to get to the point where I could meditate. And truth be told, I could use regular meditation. I'm not about to go into a confessional booth (Priest would be there all day anyway, and I wouldn't really be sorry for a good half of it.) but if the format's already there, may as well make some use of it.

I love confession time.  The priests don't, for some reason.

Anyway, whatever works for you.  Personally, I prefer pills and rude behavior.

...holy shit...

Maybe I will go to confession. 

I like the pills (or bottle in my case) and rude behavior too, but I do like to have some sort of control over myself. If I have to externalize that to a 2000 year old dead woman who got knocked up by some winged dude named Gabe for about a half hour for the time being, meh.

I'll probably end up ditching it once it stops being useful to me.

"Father, it's been 30 years since I've made confession.  You have time, I hope." --->  Done at 11:45 AM.

Internet says there's a church two blocks from here and Confessions are Saturdays from 3-4 *or* by appointment. Hmmm...

3:45.  Have a laundry list of mundane, boring ass sins.

Maybe have something atrocious at the end.  Do not claim that you've done anything seriously illegal.

Maybe you shat in the poor box at the other cathedral.

You know, since homosexuality is a hold over from Leviticus, and Leviticus has a whole shit ton of pointless rules "...oh, and I have worn clothing that has blended two different fabrics... I had an Irish breakfast this morning, that's like 5 different kinds of bad...." this could work.

I'd have to crack open Leviticus but the Old Testament is pretty good for the lulz.

[The Good Reverend Roger]

And this will make you feel WAY better than meditation will.