Author Topic: Tucson Irregulars  (Read 859 times)

Doktor Howl

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Re: Tucson Irregulars
« Reply #15 on: September 04, 2018, 06:59:43 pm »
Actual quote from a colleague's advertisement for a postdoc (aka professional lab rat). I deleted the usual banter about must be able to do X, Y & Z....

"Our laboratory is located in picturesque Tucson, a diverse city designated as a UNESCO culinary world heritage site and is listed as #2 on the "Best Small American Cities" by Resonance Consulting Group and National Geographic. We are surrounded by magnificent mountainscapes, several large parks with extensive hiking areas, as well as a thriving arts and culture scene."

It sounds so nice! Needless to say I applied.

Well, you can't really say "Our horseman statue at the courthouse occasionally gets off its pedestal and tramples unwary pedestrians" or "The ghosts of miscarriages haunt our sewer lines" or "due to Bad Physics, you can never actually leave", can you?  No.  You emphasize the good bits.
"Letting a God into your life is like letting "Bob" into your wallet.  It's going to hurt, because they always grab more things that they said they would."
-Some silly dead bastard in Tucson.

" Jonas Salk could SHIT ON MY DESK, and I'd still sing his praises.  No more polio kids in iron lungs or wheelchairs.  Jonas Salk did fucking MAD SCIENCE, and the world is a million times better for it."
- The same dumbass.