Author Topic: hjemland  (Read 488 times)

Sir Bearington

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hjemland
« on: July 27, 2012, 10:12:10 am »
hjemland

De bakker i mit hjemland ringer til mig blidt, sødt.

Mange rejser brugt på bølgerne til langt væk lande både nær og fjern, ikke at lande både tørre og velstående brolagt med klud og guld vi tager fat på ryggen af ​​drager udskåret af træ.

Men nu med mine byttet jeg hjem fra min blodig og hedenske arbejde, som både arbejde og dræber forlader enker, forældreløse og brændte landsbyer og kapeller hele blæser hen over som røg i vinden.

Jeg er ikke den mand, jeg engang var, men blødheden af den faste solidaritet jorden og blide græsstrå jeg betræder mellow selve strukturen af mit hjerte og sjæl og løfte mit humør at hilse venligt dem, jeg kendte engang, og dem, jeg revet skævt.

Min økse voksende tung i min hånd, og min rustning voksende stiv jeg kender tiden er kommet som jeg videregive min prime til at opgive min rolle godt og være ét med jorden og falde offer for de rejsende i havet.

Translated version - English

Quote
homeland

The hills of my homeland are calling to me softly, sweetly.

Many voyages spent upon the waves to far away lands both near and far, to lands both arid and prosperous paved with cloth and gold do we embark on the backs of dragons carved of wood.

But now with my spoils i return home from my bloody and heathen work which both labours and kills leaving widows, orphans and burnt villages and chapels all blowing over like smoke in the wind.

I am not the man i once was but the softness of the solid solidarity of the ground and  gentle blades of grass i tread upon mellow the very fabric of my heart and soul and uplift my spirits to greet kindly those i once knew and those i torn askew.

My axe growing heavy in my hand, and my armour growing stiff i know the time has come as i pass my prime to give up my role for good and be one with the land and fall victim to the travellers of the sea...

(I wrote the whole thing myself.)

Placid Dingo

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Re: hjemland
« Reply #1 on: July 27, 2012, 01:41:46 pm »
Geeze. Be patient.

Why is it in Finweigan(?) and what are you trying to achieve with it.
If sheep entrails could in any way be related to the weather, i.e. sheep trails only originate where it rains, then you could use it as an accurate model for discerning what the weathers going to be like. Either, sheep shit makes it rain, or raining makes sheep shit. Sheep don't shit "randomly" sheep shit after they eat, it doesn't rain "randomly" it rains after water collects in the atmosphere.

Sir Bearington

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Re: hjemland
« Reply #2 on: July 27, 2012, 01:51:13 pm »
Geeze. Be patient.

Why is it in Finweigan(?) and what are you trying to achieve with it.

Im sorry, young and spingy lack of patience.

Its in the danish language to make it feel more empoweringly authentic on the Old Norse Epic Tale/Poem/Whatever front and add more "OOMPH!" to it rather than plain english text, what i intend to achieve with it is not so clear to me. One plus is that it can be screamed at the top of your voice effectively if you know how to pronounce the words.

More than anything it was more of a experiment to see whether i could do similar, more developed things in the future using the people who uses the language's history as themes. In this one the theme was Viking's, though i may have idea's to do the Roman's and a art-deco french.

I may have room to explore other languages.

Placid Dingo

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Re: hjemland
« Reply #3 on: July 27, 2012, 02:07:03 pm »
I guess my thing is, the value of the old Epic Poems comes largely because they're a product of their period.

Unless you're going to add something dramatically new to the genre, I'm not sure there's a great call for new epic poetry.
If sheep entrails could in any way be related to the weather, i.e. sheep trails only originate where it rains, then you could use it as an accurate model for discerning what the weathers going to be like. Either, sheep shit makes it rain, or raining makes sheep shit. Sheep don't shit "randomly" sheep shit after they eat, it doesn't rain "randomly" it rains after water collects in the atmosphere.

Sir Bearington

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Re: hjemland
« Reply #4 on: July 27, 2012, 02:09:15 pm »
I guess my thing is, the value of the old Epic Poems comes largely because they're a product of their period.

Unless you're going to add something dramatically new to the genre, I'm not sure there's a great call for new epic poetry.

Noted.

Placid Dingo

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Re: hjemland
« Reply #5 on: July 27, 2012, 02:25:21 pm »
I guess my thing is, the value of the old Epic Poems comes largely because they're a product of their period.

Unless you're going to add something dramatically new to the genre, I'm not sure there's a great call for new epic poetry.

Noted.

Look, if your main aim is to produce work to try to experiement with style through different types of immitation, that's cool as hell, and will do a lot of good to your development as a writer. I've been working (here and there) on a project parodying/imitating Seneca's Letters to a Stoic, and it's done a lot of good for my writing. So I really don't want to be discouraging. But if you're trying to produce something for the outside, a new Epic Poem would be pretty hard to pull off well unless IMO you brought something new to it.
If sheep entrails could in any way be related to the weather, i.e. sheep trails only originate where it rains, then you could use it as an accurate model for discerning what the weathers going to be like. Either, sheep shit makes it rain, or raining makes sheep shit. Sheep don't shit "randomly" sheep shit after they eat, it doesn't rain "randomly" it rains after water collects in the atmosphere.

Moe_Hill

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Re: hjemland
« Reply #6 on: August 09, 2012, 11:58:39 am »
Jag gillar den... definitivt. Stark, slående. Låt inte han den andra där slå ned dig med sin tveksamma och nedlåtande kommentatur. Jag kan inte tala för den personen, men personligen finns det mycket självklart en poäng med stilsenlig epik poesi, historisk skönlitteratur exempelvis. Skriv på, brodersyster!

Det sticker dock lite i ögonen när landet långt borta är både "när och fjärran". Jag kan förstå att ett land som är nära kan vara mentalt/kulturellt långt borta, etc, men det framgår inte..

Translation. I like it. It's striking. Don't be dragged down by what might seem to be negtively tinged remarks. I cannot speak for the other commentator, but I can readily find a purpose for this kind of poetry. One obvious example would be historical fiction. Rock on!

I feel compelled to remark on the lands far away being "both near and far", but this might have it's explanation, although I could not find one in the text.