Here's the fucking disconnect: I am male. I cannot possibly understand the problems females face, and vice-versa. This does NOT mean that I cannot form my own definition for feminism, or that I can't be a "FULL MEMBER" of the feminist community. The two things ("Being male" and "being a feminist") are two entirely separate things.
And if that means to you that I am saying "FUCK YOU FOR EXCLUDING ME", then you're not fucking paying attention because it's easier to simply respond with a pat phrase, so FUCK YOU.
It seems like somewhere along the line, these separate ideas got conflated.
1. In order to support people who are getting the shitty end of the stick, you have to listen to their experiences and not try to tell them what they are/should be experiencing or feeling, because no one knows their experiences as well as they know them and correcting/overriding them is not supportive or helpful.
2. Men can't be "in charge" of feminism any more than white people could be "in charge" of the Civil Rights movement, for reasons that I hope are obvious. If a movement has as a core value the empowerment of a disempowered group, it's critical that the movement reflect that internally, or it's useless. However, ultimately, all participants must benefit
, or the movement is useless.
3. Every participant in a social movement defines that movement for themselves
, and contributes their own perspective and experience to the movement as a whole.
4. 1 and 2 do not invalidate 3.