To me it's a question of picking your fights. I like to wear button-up shirts because I look good in them and they're conformist, easing a lot of day-to-day interactions. If people around me were more into the mix of black and colorful that "alternatives" (the punk-hippie spectrum) around here wear, I'd probably conform to that, since I like that look too. I don't confuse this blatant self-labeling with anything to do with who I am or what I believe. The costs of projecting a visual label more in line with the way I think and the things I care about would outweigh its benefits. (But when I get a chance to buy organic fair-trade clothing that fits my conformist visual style, I do, since I actually care about sustainability and fair trade a great deal.)
On the other hand, if I'm discussing something with someone, and I have the time and energy, and they say something that's normally socially acceptable but I consider somehow intolerant, racist, sexist, etc., I call them out on it. They may marginalize me in the future for it, but on the off chance that I can make a difference, that risk is worthwhile.
Of course, all of this is easier said than done, but the above is how I like to think about it, even if it doesn't match my behavior 100% of the time (e.g., I'm usually too poor to expand my wardrobe, and I'm often too lazy to call people out.)