Author Topic: When Things Go Horribly Wrong  (Read 1046 times)

The Good Reverend Roger

  • Dirtbag
  • Deserved It
  • ****
  • Posts: 35308
    • View Profile
When Things Go Horribly Wrong
« on: September 09, 2012, 09:07:20 pm »
EDIT:  I posted the above before I gained a clear understanding of the situation.  The specific example is retracted.

It is impossible to have any form of relationship with another human without ceding some form of control to that person.  This applies if you're partners, friends, enemies, whatever.  You can't avoid this without becoming a hermit.

Most important would be the relationship you have with your friends, as you cede more control to them than anyone else.  The problem occurs when the friend starts to enjoy that control more than they enjoy you as a person.  At that point, the relationship becomes unhealthy.  If allowed to continue, it becomes ALL about control.  You become their drug.  You become something they can punch around a bit when they've had a bad day.

The tendency is to maintain the friendship despite that sort of thing, because who doesn't value their friends?  And who wants to walk away from years of friendship?  Nobody, of course, which causes people to hang around in seriously dysfunctional relationships.  This is usually not harmful, but eventually it will lead to a disaster, when the friend decides to play control games while something important is happening.

Obviously, I'm talking about what just happened between Nigel, Alty, and I...But I think the observation was worth writing down as a general statement.
« Last Edit: September 10, 2012, 04:46:08 pm by The Good Reverend Roger »
"What can we do to help you stop screaming?"

The Good Reverend Roger

  • Dirtbag
  • Deserved It
  • ****
  • Posts: 35308
    • View Profile
Re: When Things Go Horribly Wrong
« Reply #1 on: September 09, 2012, 09:27:22 pm »
Interesting point:  When someone picks up an ism, all of their available control over you will be bent towards making you blindly accept their ism.  This even works for a time, at least with me.  Then when everything goes in the shitter, you say to yourself "What the FUCK was I thinking?  I just spent 2 months trying to squeeze my hairy ass into someone else's uniform."
"What can we do to help you stop screaming?"

V3X

  • EISENHOWER 2012
  • Deserved It
  • ****
  • Posts: 24925
    • View Profile
Re: When Things Go Horribly Wrong
« Reply #2 on: September 09, 2012, 09:50:06 pm »
This is all correct. It's also better to break off the relationship when it's freshly dysfunctional than to wait until it's metastasised and it takes a Doomsday Weapon to end it.
Evil and Unfeeling Arse-Flenser From The City of the Damned.

The Good Reverend Roger

  • Dirtbag
  • Deserved It
  • ****
  • Posts: 35308
    • View Profile
Re: When Things Go Horribly Wrong
« Reply #3 on: September 09, 2012, 09:54:21 pm »
This is all correct. It's also better to break off the relationship when it's freshly dysfunctional than to wait until it's metastasised and it takes a Doomsday Weapon to end it.

Apparently, that was taken care of for me.  In any case, live and learn, collect some scars, get back upright, and think about today instead of yesterday.
"What can we do to help you stop screaming?"

Choppas an' Sluggas

  • DAKKA! DAKKA! WAAAGH! WAAAAAAAAAGHH!!!
  • Deserved It
  • ****
  • Posts: 176444
    • View Profile
Re: When Things Go Horribly Wrong
« Reply #4 on: September 09, 2012, 11:16:28 pm »
It's upsetting and anger-fying when that happens.
Although it is outside the purview of this organization to offer personal advice, we can say -- without assuming any liability -- that previous experience indicates (and recent market studies corroborate) that given the present condition of the marketplace, continuing with your present course of action is likely to result in substantial increases in corpse production.

The Good Reverend Roger

  • Dirtbag
  • Deserved It
  • ****
  • Posts: 35308
    • View Profile
Re: When Things Go Horribly Wrong
« Reply #5 on: September 09, 2012, 11:17:13 pm »
It's upsetting and anger-fying when that happens.

Yeah, but the train has left the station.  There's no reason to keep running, is there?
"What can we do to help you stop screaming?"

Choppas an' Sluggas

  • DAKKA! DAKKA! WAAAGH! WAAAAAAAAAGHH!!!
  • Deserved It
  • ****
  • Posts: 176444
    • View Profile
Re: When Things Go Horribly Wrong
« Reply #6 on: September 09, 2012, 11:18:53 pm »
Definitely not, but do you stick around for the next train or take a taxi?
Although it is outside the purview of this organization to offer personal advice, we can say -- without assuming any liability -- that previous experience indicates (and recent market studies corroborate) that given the present condition of the marketplace, continuing with your present course of action is likely to result in substantial increases in corpse production.

The Good Reverend Roger

  • Dirtbag
  • Deserved It
  • ****
  • Posts: 35308
    • View Profile
Re: When Things Go Horribly Wrong
« Reply #7 on: September 09, 2012, 11:19:28 pm »
Definitely not, but do you stick around for the next train or take a taxi?

There'll be other trains.
"What can we do to help you stop screaming?"

Choppas an' Sluggas

  • DAKKA! DAKKA! WAAAGH! WAAAAAAAAAGHH!!!
  • Deserved It
  • ****
  • Posts: 176444
    • View Profile
Re: When Things Go Horribly Wrong
« Reply #8 on: September 09, 2012, 11:20:17 pm »
Sound reasoning.
Although it is outside the purview of this organization to offer personal advice, we can say -- without assuming any liability -- that previous experience indicates (and recent market studies corroborate) that given the present condition of the marketplace, continuing with your present course of action is likely to result in substantial increases in corpse production.

Nepos twiddletonis

  • Deserved It
  • ****
  • Posts: 255774
  • DEATH METAL ENGLISH
    • View Profile
Re: When Things Go Horribly Wrong
« Reply #9 on: September 09, 2012, 11:24:24 pm »
Im still not exctly sure what happened. A bit of a head scratcher.
Steely-Eyed Replicant Frottage Master of Yesterday's Lost Glory
Sentence or sentence fragment pending[/size]

Soy El Vaquero Peludo de Oro

TIM AM I, PRIMARY OF THE EXTRA-ATMOSPHERIC SIMIANS

The Good Reverend Roger

  • Dirtbag
  • Deserved It
  • ****
  • Posts: 35308
    • View Profile
Re: When Things Go Horribly Wrong
« Reply #10 on: September 09, 2012, 11:25:40 pm »
Im still not exctly sure what happened. A bit of a head scratcher.

It's just The Future, doing what it does.  Nothing you'd want to get your sleeve caught in.
"What can we do to help you stop screaming?"

Nepos twiddletonis

  • Deserved It
  • ****
  • Posts: 255774
  • DEATH METAL ENGLISH
    • View Profile
Re: When Things Go Horribly Wrong
« Reply #11 on: September 09, 2012, 11:31:45 pm »
Gotcha. I suppose this is what happens when im not caught up on particular threads (or real life for that matter). Something happens and i just have to say to myself "i have no clue what just happened."
Steely-Eyed Replicant Frottage Master of Yesterday's Lost Glory
Sentence or sentence fragment pending[/size]

Soy El Vaquero Peludo de Oro

TIM AM I, PRIMARY OF THE EXTRA-ATMOSPHERIC SIMIANS

The Good Reverend Roger

  • Dirtbag
  • Deserved It
  • ****
  • Posts: 35308
    • View Profile
Re: When Things Go Horribly Wrong
« Reply #12 on: September 09, 2012, 11:33:31 pm »
Gotcha. I suppose this is what happens when im not caught up on particular threads (or real life for that matter). Something happens and i just have to say to myself "i have no clue what just happened."

I was there and I'm not sure what happened.
"What can we do to help you stop screaming?"

Tiddleywomp Cockletit

  • La Mano Famosa del Infierno
  • Deserved It
  • ****
  • Posts: 151970
  • Interweb Horrormonkey of Love
    • View Profile
Re: When Things Go Horribly Wrong
« Reply #13 on: September 09, 2012, 11:49:56 pm »
I was there and I don't even know what to say.

Fuck.
Scantily-Clad Inspector of Gigantic and Unnecessary Cashews, Texas Division

Bu☆ns

  • █ ▀█ ▀ █ ▀█▄ ▀█
  • Deserved It
  • ****
  • Posts: 37937
  • Way Out West
    • View Profile
Re: When Things Go Horribly Wrong
« Reply #14 on: September 10, 2012, 01:49:17 am »
I only caught a small bit of it, I think.  Drawing on my past, though, I've had instances where friends of mine have gotten to a point in their lives where they just needed a good freak out and some cool down time mainly due to a variety of life circumstances manifesting all at once.  I'm not saying this is what happened but rather offer an objective alternative. 

On the other hand, I've rightly dissolved friendships where I ended up being subject of abuse.  I'm not saying this is what happened either as there's no way I could know,  but just wanted to keep it even.