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[six to the quixotic]

What's not to love?

Sinners who insist on wearing pants.

You've clearly never met Enrico.

Generalissimo is allowed to dress how he wants.

BUT EVERYONE ELSE IS DAMNED SINNER WEARING THEIR TROUSERS THAT ARE FORKED JUST LIKE SATAN'S TAIL!!!!!!!!!

[M. Nigel Salt]

What's not to love?

Sinners who insist on wearing pants.

 

[The Good Reverend Roger]

Welsh people don't wear kilts.

They wear skirts.

[Cain]

There're quite a few singers who seem to transcend both genres.  You can easily find Bessie Smith in either Jazz or Blues... and I think the same can be said for Billie Holiday?

Cher Lloyd transcends no less than seventeen genres*.






















*said genres, in order:  Shit.  Shit.  Shit.  Actually kinda catchy shit.  Shit!  Shit?  Aw shit.  Fuck.  Fuck this shit.  No, really, fuck.  Fuck me.  Shitshitshitmakeitstopmakeitstop.  There is no God. Oh noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!  There are four lights! ..... and bleh.

[Hoopla]

Good christ, why did I click?  WHY?

[The Good Reverend Roger]

*said genres, in order:  Shit.  Shit.  Shit.  Actually kinda catchy shit.  Shit!  Shit?  Aw shit.  Fuck.  Fuck this shit.  No, really, fuck.  Fuck me.  Shitshitshitmakeitstopmakeitstop.  There is no God. Oh noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!  There are four lights! ..... and bleh.

I'm sitting in a meeting, and the other 3 guys are wondering why I'm laughing while "taking minutes".

[Cain]

Just wait until you click it.  Then you won't be able to laugh because you'll be screaming too loud (also blood coming out of your ears).

[Hoopla]

I can see through time.
                           \

[The Good Reverend Roger]

Just wait until you click it.  Then you won't be able to laugh because you'll be screaming too loud (also blood coming out of your ears).

No can do.  I'll hemmorage at home.

ETA:  Plus, I already shot blood out of my left ear this month.  I think I'm okay.

[ZL 'Kai' Burington, M.S.]

Now, more importantly.....I demand to know why you do not like jazz! I take deep personal exception to the fact that our record collections are not the same! This is very distressing as I am unwilling to accept that other people, especially you, will not listen to Bebop. In fact, I am very sure you are responsible for making other people not like jazz.

I hope so.  With only a few exceptions (Ella Fitzgerald, etc), Jazz consists of 4 different guys playing 4 different songs in the same room at the same time.  No, wait.  4 different guys tuning up their instruments in the same room at the same time.  It isn't music, and can best be compared to That Guy at a party, who gets ahold of an accoustic guitar and "plays" it (fucking with one bad chord and commenting about how badly tuned it is) until TGRR and Knuckles drag him out back and kick his ass.

Jazz musicians should be beaten mercilessly and then be sold to medical research.  Or a pet food factory.

I used to be really into instrumental jazz. Back then, I took exception to your and ECH's poor opinions of it. How in the world could you guys possibly hate Kind of Blue, it's Classic! That sort of feeling.

More recently, I've been listening to blues and swing, especially the big band and vocal stuff. And then when I go to listen to jazz, it just sounds...well, like people who don't actually know how to play their instruments well. Like they're just horsing around, not trying to actually synthesize something worth listening. I don't even mean that improvisation is bad; Di Meola, DeLucia and Mclaughlin did all kinds of improv in their trios, but it always came out sounding like music. I guess what I'm saying is, jazz sounds like a cacophony. Especially the trumpets.

[The Good Reverend Roger]

Now, more importantly.....I demand to know why you do not like jazz! I take deep personal exception to the fact that our record collections are not the same! This is very distressing as I am unwilling to accept that other people, especially you, will not listen to Bebop. In fact, I am very sure you are responsible for making other people not like jazz.

I hope so.  With only a few exceptions (Ella Fitzgerald, etc), Jazz consists of 4 different guys playing 4 different songs in the same room at the same time.  No, wait.  4 different guys tuning up their instruments in the same room at the same time.  It isn't music, and can best be compared to That Guy at a party, who gets ahold of an accoustic guitar and "plays" it (fucking with one bad chord and commenting about how badly tuned it is) until TGRR and Knuckles drag him out back and kick his ass.

Jazz musicians should be beaten mercilessly and then be sold to medical research.  Or a pet food factory.

I used to be really into instrumental jazz. Back then, I took exception to your and ECH's poor opinions of it. How in the world could you guys possibly hate Kind of Blue, it's Classic! That sort of feeling.

More recently, I've been listening to blues and swing, especially the big band and vocal stuff. And then when I go to listen to jazz, it just sounds...well, like people who don't actually know how to play their instruments well. Like they're just horsing around, not trying to actually synthesize something worth listening. I don't even mean that improvisation is bad; Di Meola, DeLucia and Mclaughlin did all kinds of improv in their trios, but it always came out sounding like music. I guess what I'm saying is, jazz sounds like a cacophony. Especially the trumpets.

DING DING DING

[Misery's Feed Trough]

At risk of sounding like a sanctimonious asshole, I don't have a Facebook account or Twitter or Stumbleupon or Pinterest etc. I cannot for the life of me think of a reason as to why I would want one of these things. [Similarly, I do not own or have ever owned a cell phone.]

Mrs Mang signed up for FB as a convenient medium to share pics with her daughter, especially because she likes getting update on our grandson. But her typical experience goes like this:

Mrs Mang: Hmm...oh...they've changed the format. What's this? No, I WILL NOT click a like button for MITT FUCKING ROMNEY. Arghh.....[clicks wildly]....[stabs at keyboard in frustration]...oh god...Janice is online. I hate FBB!!!! [logs out]

Every so often she makes a valiant attempt to give a crap about FB but it usually lasts only 10 minutes and then she does something more productive. Naturally, this only further entrenches my belief that I have missed nothing of import by not being there.

I've seen some epically retarded drama erupt over people and their FB accounts and watched it impact IRL lives in all sorts of stupid ways, so I don't buy into the notion that it would be friendlier than this board. I've been here 8 years, not entirely sure why but I've stuck around even though I'm only a casual poster  now. I still like to poke my polystyrene nose in from time to time.

In the interests of making things more uncomfortable:

I know you hate jazz.

a) I like jazz. I have lots of jazz on CD and vinyl.I have extra douchey hipster vintage, 1950/60s vinyl. So there!
b) I like jazz enough to want to play it myself...on not one but two different instruments.
c) I've got tickets to see Branford Marsalis in February and, good sir, there's not a damn thing you can do about it.

Fire away! 

If Skinny Vinny ever plays in your neck of the woods you need to check them out.  They're out of Beanttown, I think, and play some nasty, freak-out, free jazz. 


Also, Spyro Gyra RULES!!!

[The Good Reverend Roger]

There're quite a few singers who seem to transcend both genres.  You can easily find Bessie Smith in either Jazz or Blues... and I think the same can be said for Billie Holiday?

Cher Lloyd transcends no less than seventeen genres*.






















*said genres, in order:  Shit.  Shit.  Shit.  Actually kinda catchy shit.  Shit!  Shit?  Aw shit.  Fuck.  Fuck this shit.  No, really, fuck.  Fuck me.  Shitshitshitmakeitstopmakeitstop.  There is no God. Oh noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!  There are four lights! ..... and bleh.

That was low.

[Mangrove]

Ahh...it's days like today that remind me why I still hang out at here.

So, Tyler S Durden comes back from the dead. I give a pithy summary of recent noobishness and examines the odd compulsion of some new posters to 'take Roger down'. For added satirical value, I thought it'd be fun to mimic the typical noob by provoking Roger into a discussion about jazz. In the bizarre, fucked up and twisted manner that is PD.com, the thread actually turned into a legitimate discussion of jazz.

And you'd think that would be enough....but no. There always has to be someone who takes a joke too far and people get hurt. By someone, I mean Cain and by people getting hurt, I mean MY POOR FUCKING EYES/EARS!

You will pay for your Swagger Jagger! 
 

[Balls Wellington]

Here's my two cents for the jazz conversation: FUCK Ella Fitzgerald. Roughly. In the ear.