Author Topic: Can we talk about me now? (Open bar thread #3,494)  (Read 25149 times)

The Good Reverend Roger

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Re: Can we talk about me now? (Open bar thread #3,494)
« Reply #930 on: October 23, 2012, 11:08:27 pm »
Plant's FINALLY (mostly) up and running.

Maybe I can get a little sleep now.
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Mesozoic Mister Nigel

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Re: Can we talk about me now? (Open bar thread #3,494)
« Reply #931 on: October 23, 2012, 11:09:00 pm »
I drove past Mr. Language on my way home just now.

Immediately called Handsome Cowboy to take me out tonight and distract me. I really wish I did not still miss that guy, but I do.
“I’m guessing it was January 2007, a meeting in Bethesda, we got a bag of bees and just started smashing them on the desk,” Charles Wick said. “It was very complicated.”

“People get used to anything. The less you think about your oppression, the more your tolerance for it grows. After a while, people just think oppression is the normal state of things. But to become free, you have to be acutely aware of being a slave.”
― Assata Shaku

Nepos twiddletonis

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Re: Can we talk about me now? (Open bar thread #3,494)
« Reply #932 on: October 23, 2012, 11:13:20 pm »
Its tuesday time in boston and i have my iron maiden fan club magazine that came in the mail from england yesterday and im relaxing.

Funny how sitting down for several hours at the computer gets on your nerves if its not in your room and youre getting paid for it.
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Mesozoic Mister Nigel

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Re: Can we talk about me now? (Open bar thread #3,494)
« Reply #933 on: October 23, 2012, 11:15:30 pm »
Plant's FINALLY (mostly) up and running.

Maybe I can get a little sleep now.

Knock on wood!

I hope it continues to run smoothly for a while, that shit's been out of control lately.
“I’m guessing it was January 2007, a meeting in Bethesda, we got a bag of bees and just started smashing them on the desk,” Charles Wick said. “It was very complicated.”

“People get used to anything. The less you think about your oppression, the more your tolerance for it grows. After a while, people just think oppression is the normal state of things. But to become free, you have to be acutely aware of being a slave.”
― Assata Shaku

Nepos twiddletonis

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Re: Can we talk about me now? (Open bar thread #3,494)
« Reply #934 on: October 23, 2012, 11:16:26 pm »
Steve harris has a side project called british lion. Dave murray likes jimi hendrix and his tobacco colored stratocaster. :nods:
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AFK

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Re: Can we talk about me now? (Open bar thread #3,494)
« Reply #935 on: October 23, 2012, 11:18:59 pm »
Sucks dude. Really hope things work out for you one way or the other. Hopefully its just a bit of a thing and not a HOLY SHIT OF A THING.


Well, I want to try to keep the family together, she doesn't. I got us an appointment with a marital counselor on the idea that's exactly what we were going to try to do.  Apparently, she just wanted me to get a counselor for her and her shit.  And for sure, she has SOME shit that needs sorting out.  Just sucks that I was sold a bunk bill of goods to get the counselor. 


The silver lining, if ther is one, is that I have a great relationship with my mother-in-law who loves me like a son and will be supportive.  She knows my wife could never handle the kids on her own in her state, and is onboard with me that we need to find a way that I can keep the house with the kids.  Of course we will have to share the kids, as long as my wife ends up somewhere safe someday, but in the meantime, they're staying with me here while my wife is spending nights at her Moms.


Haven't talked to the kids yet and I'm really dreading that.  My little girl has a strong sensitive streak and I know this is just going to crush her, which is why I want to try and repair, but my wife could give a fuck.  It really pisses me off when I think about it.
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Nepos twiddletonis

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Re: Can we talk about me now? (Open bar thread #3,494)
« Reply #936 on: October 23, 2012, 11:19:16 pm »
This is much better than 5. :count: 11. Space space space space enter. Enter. Period enter 3. :looks in binder: period enter space 435 enter enter.....
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Re: Can we talk about me now? (Open bar thread #3,494)
« Reply #937 on: October 23, 2012, 11:22:25 pm »
Wish i could offer some perspective of what your kids need to hear but my parents split my senior year of high school and it was at the point where its like moms a drunk dads that crazy guy... Makes sense. Glad i dont have to explain this to my 4 year old sister.

Good luck man. I mean that.
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The Good Reverend Roger

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Re: Can we talk about me now? (Open bar thread #3,494)
« Reply #938 on: October 24, 2012, 12:20:00 am »
Marital situation seems to be evolving from 'if' to 'when', which isn't very fun.  It's only complicated by some very concerning behavioral health concerns.  She has point blank said she doesn't want to be an adult anymore.


We see a counselor tomorrow, but I'm not really optimistic at all.  I'm now looking at what can I do to keep the house and keep my kids' home as intact as possible. 


Despite all of this, I'm not nearly as sad or upset as I would have thought I would be.  I suppose that's telling about the nature of our relationship.


And so the saga will continue.

My advice is probably fairly useless here, but a lot of women, especially stay-at-home moms, go through a sort of identity crisis when their youngest child begins to be a little more independent; usually around three. For most mothers, and particularly stay-at-home moms (no idea whether she is or not, I'm just saying) the time period of early motherhood comes to completely define them as human beings, and eventually it reaches a head and they freak out, wanting to reclaim a personality and life outside of motherhood and wifehood. It's not uncommon to hear things like "I hate my life and what I've become", "I don't even know me anymore", "I just don't want to be a mother anymore!" and "I love them but sometimes I wish I hadn't had kids".

Lots of affairs and divorces happen around that time. But for the most part, it's not that they want to renounce everything or throw away their marriages; they just want to reclaim their own identities. They need to take classes, get jobs, make new friends, and reconnect with old friends, dress in sexy clothes and go out drinking without their husbands. They need to meet people who think they're INTERESTING, and not as "a mom". They need to have interesting conversations that never once mention their kids.

I don't know if this has any bearing on what you're going through, but I thought I'd throw it out there, just in case.

This is huge, and is probably a better explanation than a simple mid-life crisis.
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Re: Can we talk about me now? (Open bar thread #3,494)
« Reply #939 on: October 24, 2012, 12:26:13 am »
She isn't a stay at home Mom.  But, she DID recently get fired from her job, AND just had a birthday which has always caused her a lot of angst.  I feel like she just wants to hit the Easy button and make everything go away, and has more or less said that.  The problem is, there is no Easy button, anywhere.
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The Good Reverend Roger

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Re: Can we talk about me now? (Open bar thread #3,494)
« Reply #940 on: October 24, 2012, 12:41:15 am »
She isn't a stay at home Mom.  But, she DID recently get fired from her job, AND just had a birthday which has always caused her a lot of angst.  I feel like she just wants to hit the Easy button and make everything go away, and has more or less said that.  The problem is, there is no Easy button, anywhere.

Yeah, well, people get tired.  And scared.

And at a certain age, you suddenly realize that YOU are aging just like everyone else, and that one day you'll die.  This commonly hits guys HARD in their 40s, and women in either their 30s or their 50s.  And that's some scary shit, and scared people don't act rational.  "If I go out and act like I did when I was 22, I'll be young again." 

It doesn't last.
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Mesozoic Mister Nigel

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Re: Can we talk about me now? (Open bar thread #3,494)
« Reply #941 on: October 24, 2012, 12:55:10 am »
She isn't a stay at home Mom.  But, she DID recently get fired from her job, AND just had a birthday which has always caused her a lot of angst.  I feel like she just wants to hit the Easy button and make everything go away, and has more or less said that.  The problem is, there is no Easy button, anywhere.

Hopefully a therapist will be able to help you guys find a way to work things out... maybe a return to school would help her? It's no easy button, for sure, for either of you, but it's got some strong regenerative powers.

It sure as hell isn't easy being a single parent, even if you only have the kids half-time.
“I’m guessing it was January 2007, a meeting in Bethesda, we got a bag of bees and just started smashing them on the desk,” Charles Wick said. “It was very complicated.”

“People get used to anything. The less you think about your oppression, the more your tolerance for it grows. After a while, people just think oppression is the normal state of things. But to become free, you have to be acutely aware of being a slave.”
― Assata Shaku

Aucoq

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Re: Can we talk about me now? (Open bar thread #3,494)
« Reply #942 on: October 24, 2012, 01:13:24 am »
Damn, glad you're ok. It is pretty damn scary sometimes thinking about no matter what you do, your life could very well be in the hands of some irresponsible jackass. My parents were rear-ended last spring by a drunk driver going nearly 100 mph and thankfully not killed (though it was very serious). Even the other night driving home from Boston, barely anyone on the road but I would say at least a good 65-70% of the cars we encountered were being driven by intoxicated people and/or people on their phones - significant swerving, erratic slowing below the speed limit then speeding - not to mention the two jackasses that went flying by at at least 90 mph racing. God, I hate people. Again, glad you're ok.

As for the preferred method of suicide - really?!? Not that there's any "nice" way to commit suicide, but on the scale of things seems pretty ineffective and horridly inconsiderate. If you "mess up" just end up horribly injured and still alive, not to mention either way the high risk of injury/death to bystanders. Again, see: Hate People.

Oh man that's scary!   Be careful out there, Trip!  I don't mind if the drunk drivers kill themselves, but I'd hate it if they took one of the few good people in this world with them.

And yeah, I don't get why they drive the wrong way down a highway either.  It's bad enough to kill yourself, but to want to ruin the lives of others as well?  It's so stupid.
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Re: Can we talk about me now? (Open bar thread #3,494)
« Reply #943 on: October 24, 2012, 02:30:29 am »
I think perhaps you have never seriously been in a place where you were desperate to be dead, Aucoq.
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Re: Can we talk about me now? (Open bar thread #3,494)
« Reply #944 on: October 24, 2012, 02:50:12 am »
Desperately wanting to be dead is a pretty poor excuse for murder.
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