Author Topic: RIP BadBeast  (Read 268 times)

Eater of Clowns

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RIP BadBeast
« on: October 04, 2012, 09:07:58 pm »
We all remember BadBeast, right?  That day he washed up on our fine shores sputtering and hacking, fucked up on who knows what?  And of course, the man that he became during his time at http://www.principiadiscordia.com during the following months - sputtering and hacking, fucked up on who knows what?  A fine subject of Her Majesty if we've ever seen one.  Well, it's time I share what really happened to him.

BadBeast was a man of science.  No, not SCIENCE! with all its glamou*r and fun, but science science, with all of its scientists and stuff.  The discovery of the BadBeast particle, which comprises at least 50% of your average PDer's being, was a big breakthrough for him and for HERN.T  It should be noted that when you toss the two BadBeast particles together in the Large Hardon Collider (a rather grim hooligan named Vinnie) the sound it makes doesn't exactly say "numb cunt" but it sounded so similar that, in celebration, BB went on a bender for four days, rather than his standard three.

It was during this romp in the garden of earthly delights that BadBeast came upon an even more important discovery.  A discovery of the self, you might say.  PD is full of fucking lunatics, and even they think I'm a lunatic.

Now that's a lot to come to terms with, if you're a right wanker, but this is BadBeast we're talking about.  He wandered back to his lab sputtering and hacking, fucked up who knows what.  He was a celebrated figure in a place that celebrates nearly no one!  He was a human among apes!  And just as he thought this, he stumbled into the LHC chamber.

Vinnie wasn't supposed to be there at the time but for men like Vinnie, who did what he loved, you just had to smash some shit together.  With a headbutt that made BadBeast proud even in his last moment, one of our very own total fuckwads came together with his namesake particle.  It was simply too much BadBeast for one chamber, for one world.  The man came apart at the, admittedly, shoddily maintained and drunkenly sewn together, seams.

We never heard from BB again after that night.  But some say he's just waiting to form together again through sheer will and an indefatiguable need to get fucked up.  And for that day, friends, we wait. 

We wait for BadBeast.



*This one's for you, BB

TStrangely, CERN's British counterpart was not an acronym, but the noise BB made after a long night at the pub when they asked him what they should call it.
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The Good Reverend Roger

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Re: RIP BadBeast
« Reply #1 on: October 04, 2012, 09:09:37 pm »
I find your eulogy to be entirely too butt-kissy.  I shall tell the TRUTH about that mangy and violent little man tomorrow morning.

The WHOLE truth.
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The Good Reverend Roger

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Re: RIP BadBeast
« Reply #2 on: October 04, 2012, 09:11:54 pm »
Even the bit about the drug store.
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Eater of Clowns

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Re: RIP BadBeast
« Reply #3 on: October 04, 2012, 09:12:57 pm »
Do it!

I realized about three sentences into it that I had absolutely nowhere to go with it.   :lol:

Even the bit about the drug store.

Oh this is just rotten.
EoC, you are the bane of my existence.

EoC doesn't make creepy.

EoC makes creepy worse.

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the afflicted persons get hold of and consume carrots even in socially quite unacceptable situations.

The Good Reverend Roger

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Re: RIP BadBeast
« Reply #4 on: October 04, 2012, 09:14:34 pm »
Do it!

I realized about three sentences into it that I had absolutely nowhere to go with it.   :lol:

Even the bit about the drug store.

Oh this is just rotten.

It is.  Now the staff has to "use from its own supply" when it comes to colostomy bags and pocket catheders.
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Tiddleywomp Cockletit

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Re: RIP BadBeast
« Reply #5 on: October 04, 2012, 09:50:42 pm »
I always just assumed Eartha ate him. Overzealous drunken gum job. :shrugs:
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