Author Topic: The Winter Resort Survival Guide (Shangri pt 3)  (Read 1506 times)

Da6s

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The Winter Resort Survival Guide (Shangri pt 3)
« on: October 05, 2012, 10:39:00 am »
I.

I left Shangri. I was tired of living at work. Not to mention Shangri's for family's and that really just wasn't doing it for me. Plus I found a clutch apartment on fucking main street in Brecca. Well, the apartment itself is dated as hell, but goddamn my location is fucking fantastic.

I'm going to attempt to keep this running from the point the snow flies. Well, the fun snow. This weekend's forecast probably won't amount to anything. This will also serve as a lingo guide so you don't look like a fucking gaper when talking to some steezies on the hill. I fucking hate this place sometimes. And now the opener:


If you're reading this you're either bored as fuck or somewhere along the lines your interest has been piqued about the ski bum lifestyle. For the record, I hate this term. There's really no bums that I've encountered, just a lot of hard working broke motherfuckers. The closest thing we have to bums are trustafarians. These are the trust fund kids who live off their inheritance and do nothing but smoke themselves stupid and then play on the snowy mountain. I'm sure they piss and shit somewhere in there too. Cost of living in a resort town is stupid high. You will never become wealthy working on a ski resort. But you can have a lot of damned fun.

To give yourself the best chance of a job you need to know the hiring schedules and how the seasons work. I am speaking solely for Colorado in this. There are four distinct seasons: Summer, which starts around the 4th of July and ends early September. Shoulder, which starts early September & ends as soon as the mountains open and jobs are available (you can hope and pray for early November). Ski Season, which is AKA winter and runs from November until about Cinco De Mayo.  And lastly, Mud Season, when the snow all melts and everyone gets laid off and the friends you've made dip out unannounced because they couldn't cut it. Now that you know these, when's the best time to come out for a gig? Honestly, late in Shoulder season. Once you arrive you'll be faced with two major options: Work for the beast (big ski resort corporation that chews up and spits out seasonal workers like it's nothing, and somehow isn't even phased when just under half of their entire housekeeping force gets deported the week of thanksgiving in a huge ICE raid) or work for small business. The beast has it's perks no doubt: they hire a lot more people (increasing your chances), they offer shitawful housing on resort as a benefit (imagine a terrible, awful dorm full of the families of all the migrant workers), they comp your ski pass, and they allow you to qualify for unemployment when you are laid off at the start of Mud season. And you will be laid off. Your other option is small business. These can offer you full year employment usually, but the benefits and perks will be nowhere near what the beast offers you. At best your pass will be paid for. But hey, you don't have to move home to mommy and daddy when the snow melts like a loser townie, so you have that going for you. If the beast sounds appealing, all of them usually offer job fairs late october & early november. Just showing up to these job fairs is a virtually guaranteed way of getting hired. Keep this in mind.


Stopping here for tonight. Will cover more about shoulder season at next update, which I really intend to do soon. Swear.





Winter Resort Dictionary:

This is not in alphabetical order because fuck you. This will be updated throughout the season.

Steezy - a term meaning style and ease. It's become synonomous with being a badass at either snowboarding or skiing, while also dressing in the hippest way possible. Wardrobes include huge saggy winter pants, tall tees that cover your ass, vibrant almost neon colors, and proform (expensive and the best on the market) gear.

Clutch - Nice, tight, awesome, spiffy, fucking fantastic, whatever.

Trustafarians - Trust fund kids who lives off said trust funds and do nothing but smoke themselves retarded and ride as often as they please. Usually they pay no rent and live in their parents condos.

Hill - The mountain, the slopes. You have a home hill. Be prepared to tell people you meet where it is on top of your favorite runs.

Runs - I thought you were a fucking snow sports enthusiast. Slopes. Jesus.

Pow Pow - Powder. In colorado it's champagne pow. White, fluffy, perfect bliss. Powder days are bragging rights.

Lines - The trail one makes in powder. These can also be referred to as turns in passing, such as "yeah, i took some turns on my lunch break..."

Gnarly - Fuck if I know. It means sick gross but somehow it almost means incredible, crazy awesome? I fucking hate this term.

Gaper - The worst face of tourists. Think Texans skiing in jeans. Referred to as gapers because they stand on the slope with their mouth agape looking at all the pretty scenery. They also have the same reaction while driving on the fucking road. Be prepared to hate and loathe them.

Village - The area of the resort where all the shops, bars, & restaurants are. Usually situated near the Gondola or a main lift.

The park - The usually minor section of the resort dedicated solely to the people who want to play & showboat. Park has features including rails, boxes, jumps, jibs, wall rides, and if you're lucky, a pipe.

Park Rats - Skiers & riders who live in the park. Their day on the hill consists of sitting in a line for a jump, doing said jump, landing or bailing it, and then rinse/repeat. I can see the appeal, but it's not for me. At all.

Bro-Brah's - Take your typical fratty douche. Make him smoke too much pot (now legal here), have him fail out of college & said fraternity, have him dress in ridiculous clothing including XXXL t-shirts affectionately called "tall tees", and make his preferred home be the park. In his arsenal is some of the worst pseudo ghetto slang you've ever heard, as well as rufies. Bro-Brah's are the douches of your mountain town. Best to just avoid them entirely, and laugh when they inevitably get a DUI or are arrested for starting a fight with a competing bro-brah. 

White Ribbon of Death - What's that? You want to ride in October? WELL FUCK YEAH WE'LL TAKE YOUR MONEY! Here, ride this granular god awful man made snow for a quarter of the mountain for hours on end. Oh, just know that around 10:30 AM it's going to be chopped up all to hell and be like the worst combination of a mogul field and a kat track that you can imagine. Oh, and there's also going to be 60 other people riding this 45 second run, so be ready to wait longer in the lift line and on the lift itself. I just hope for your sake no beginners scrape our imitation crushed ice away. Nevermind those twigs, shrubs, rocks, exposed mud, and holes in the ground. Think of them as challenges to increase your fun. But hey, we're letting you board our shitawful runs in October. Stop your bitching.


Posts will be updated as I think of more aspects for them.


Index by relevant post by yours truly:

I.   Intro, Seasons, & Glossary

II.  Cost of Living

III. Winter Driving

IV.  Resort Drinking



-Or Kill Me


« Last Edit: November 15, 2012, 07:32:20 am by Da6s »
"If the only thing keeping a person decent is the expectation of divine reward then, brother, that person is a piece of shit. And I’d like to get as many of them out in the open as possible. You gotta get together and tell yourself stories that violate every law of the universe just to get through the goddamn day? What’s that say about your reality?"

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Re: The Winter Resort Survival Guide (Shangri pt 3)
« Reply #1 on: October 05, 2012, 12:18:55 pm »
I'm liking where this is going.

Quite a lot of the cowboys/girls (the for real ones, not the FABULOUS ones) I know wrangle in the summer and work the hill in winter.  They're broke as hell, but the always seemed to be having a fuckload of fun.  Until their knees give out.
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Re: The Winter Resort Survival Guide (Shangri pt 3)
« Reply #2 on: November 06, 2012, 12:20:19 pm »
II.

Things are coming back to life now, and with it has the positive and the negative. On the positive bliss side, 3 mountains in my county are open, with the 4th and final opening on Friday. On the negative side, fucking christmas has begun. The music, the lights, the signage, it's everywhere. I can't exit a fucking parking garage without hearing some stupid carol or christmas melody bellowing out over the entirety of the village. Side note: any term I use that needs to be on the glossary of my first post will be bolded. More for my reference than yours. ANYWAYS.

So I'm living the high life now in Brecca. It's a glorious change from Shangri, though I've yet to encounter the massive amount of Bro-Brah's that are hiding amidst the woodwork of my new town. To be frank it's already beating the hell out of my first two years. With one exception, which is going to be the center piece of this post.

Fucking Cost of Living.

It's god damned outrageous at times. Granted, you can survive here without spending hardly any money, but that is a miserable existence. I know because I just clawed out of that situation yet again. Moving's damned expensive. Then again, so is staggering to bars twice thrice or more a week. Back to the point. Cost of living in a resort town is stupid. There are many subtle things you take for granted. Chief example that was shocking to me coming from the unhealthy fast food nation of the south, there is no dollar menu in a resort towns. Sure, the major chains are here, but their menus are all devoid of the poverty enabling dollar menu. Cost of food and groceries in general here are marked up. I've become numb to it, but when my parents have come out to visit my mother has always been in shock over how much we pay for our meats and milk. Gas here isn't too awful, in certain places. If you buy it at any of the resort stations you're fucking stupid and deserve to pay the 80 cent mark up. Heat and electricity is killer, especially in winter. Ideally, you want to find a place to rent/live that has heat included, usually through baseboard heaters & boiler system. Like my current apartment. 28 dollar electric bill. Mwaha. Liquor seems to be about the same, though that's also something I've long lost touch with. Nice sit down dining restaurants all have crack tourist prices, though many do offer local specials or discounts. This goes back to the STFU line --- local deals for restaurants are a prime example of what you will learn if you just shut the fuck up and listen to what seasoned resort locals share with you.

Rent is a mother fucker, unless you're extremely lucky. Like me. I've managed to win the craigslist lottery TWICE. It's not uncommon for one bedrooms to be above 1k a month. Hell, most studios here are more expensive than what my best friend paid for a studio in fucking Chelsea. You won't find anything cheaper than 600 in winter, 500 in summer, unless you live out in the wilderness where you will be isolated come the first snow storm. Chances are you'll live off a non-paved county road too. Viva Colorado. Know that you will get what you pay for. In the county there's one god awful place where all the migrant workers live. It's NOTORIOUS for bed bug infestations. These are things you may want to research on google, or just ask people. Budget wise, it's appealing, but is it really worth bed  bugs? or lice?  One plus side of resorts is the population is extremely transient. This makes it incredibly easy to find rooms for rent for one or two months only, which may be just what you need when first moving. Alternatively, a cheaper and far shittier option is working for the beast & enjoying the benefit of the beasts employee housing. Of course, you'll have paper thin walls and floors and you'll be listening tot eh banging, screaming, and screeching of the oversized families of the housekeepers that the beast employs. They all seem to live in employee housing. I personally have never lived in said employee housing, but i've had more than a few friends that have, and their horror stories are enough to dissuade me. Should be enough for you too.

Tipping is a very delicate issue up here. Lots of people who get by through the year serving have to go a month or three of the year without working, as most businesses shut down for mud & shoulder season. Knowing this, if you tip below 10% at any place you frequent you will be blacklisted to the extreme. I've watched coworkers suffer this wrath, and it's unlike any serving experience I ever encountered in the south. Just don't be a cheapskate. Period. Doubly so for resort living. It's terrible form, especially up here.

Of course, if you're living on a resort you're enjoying the perks of skiing and riding on demand. As such, you're probably well aware how expensive the hobby is already. Gear can be gotten second hand for cheap...Thrift stores here have loads and loads of ski pants & old coats. It's insane. However this won't do shit for you come the -20's of february. Pro Form is what you want. All of it. But it's fucking pricey. I'm actually about to drop close to 800 on new gear for this season in the next 3 weeks. It's 400 less than what one coworker is spending and 700 less than what my roommate is spending on gear for this season. He tele-skis though, and apparently bindings and boots for proper tele-ing are fucking outrageous. Neither of those are taking into account necessities for back country either. Beacons, shovels, kits, and everything else imaginable. Backcountry is a fucking expensive hobby. It's also a ton of work with minimal pay off. Unless you REALLY enjoy being in the middle of fucking nowhere absolutely alone. Then it's pretty cool. Until a loose pack gives way. 8 minutes what?

I may come back to this post later with more tidbits of things to consider when making a resort budget. Not today/tonight though. I am on graves 2 nights a week now, so these updates should be far more frequent. I also take my first turns of 2012/13 in t minus 3 hours. fuck yeah.

« Last Edit: November 15, 2012, 07:32:38 am by Da6s »
"If the only thing keeping a person decent is the expectation of divine reward then, brother, that person is a piece of shit. And I’d like to get as many of them out in the open as possible. You gotta get together and tell yourself stories that violate every law of the universe just to get through the goddamn day? What’s that say about your reality?"

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Re: The Winter Resort Survival Guide (Shangri pt 3)
« Reply #3 on: November 07, 2012, 11:10:12 am »
One word: GoPro!

Loving this series. Wanna watch it, too 8)

Gnarly: First time I heard it, it was boardie slang - meant the wave was really dumpy or breaking over a bunch of sharp rocks can be awesome on account of EXTREME!!! but just as likely to rip one of your legs off
« Last Edit: November 07, 2012, 11:13:48 am by P3nT4gR4m »
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Re: The Winter Resort Survival Guide (Shangri pt 3)
« Reply #4 on: November 08, 2012, 02:48:36 am »
One word: GoPro!

Loving this series. Wanna watch it, too 8)


Sorry to disappoint, but all pleasure money is going to bars, a new NeverSummer, bindings, new gloves, new coat, trips to Aspen & Jackson Hole, & then new climbing shoes & harness for Summer. No room in the budget for a GoPro.

If god loved me I'd win one at a bar raffle. Or GoPro could just give me a free one for no reason whatsoever. That'd be cool.
"If the only thing keeping a person decent is the expectation of divine reward then, brother, that person is a piece of shit. And I’d like to get as many of them out in the open as possible. You gotta get together and tell yourself stories that violate every law of the universe just to get through the goddamn day? What’s that say about your reality?"

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Re: The Winter Resort Survival Guide (Shangri pt 3)
« Reply #5 on: November 08, 2012, 04:48:08 pm »
I love your stories. I'm so happy you're back for the season!
“I’m guessing it was January 2007, a meeting in Bethesda, we got a bag of bees and just started smashing them on the desk,” Charles Wick said. “It was very complicated.”

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Re: The Winter Resort Survival Guide (Shangri pt 3)
« Reply #6 on: November 10, 2012, 08:32:12 pm »
Yeah, I'm digging this series. Reminds me of when I lived at Mammoth.
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Re: The Winter Resort Survival Guide (Shangri pt 3)
« Reply #7 on: November 14, 2012, 12:23:24 pm »
Yeah, I'm digging this series. Reminds me of when I lived at Mammoth.

My primary graves guy worked at Mammoth for years...know a Dan Weems by chance?
"If the only thing keeping a person decent is the expectation of divine reward then, brother, that person is a piece of shit. And I’d like to get as many of them out in the open as possible. You gotta get together and tell yourself stories that violate every law of the universe just to get through the goddamn day? What’s that say about your reality?"

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Re: The Winter Resort Survival Guide (Shangri pt 3)
« Reply #8 on: November 14, 2012, 01:09:16 pm »
III.

Today's post is going to cover a subject that had me freaking out before I moved, and for good reason. Herein lies IMPORTANT wisdom that you could already know.

Winter Driving.

If you've followed this series, you know I came out here from the wasteland of the south, where the first response to snow on the roads is MOAR SALT. They don't use salt up here on the roads. Ever. It's still weird to be at times, but it works. We do however have the infrastructure to handle storms (usually), which TN definitely did not.

For starters, the arguably most important thing you need to know before expecting to have a car in resort land in the winter time is "snow tires". These are a must, period. Chances are, when you buy them "snow tires" won't be an option. Instead, request all-terrain with deep treads. DEEP treads. Ideally, you want a four wheel drive. At the least you will need front wheel drive. If you're planning to go somewhere crazy, such as an abandoned ghost resort for some cleared back country, you may even need to invest in a set of chains.

During a typical storm the snow will accumulate enough on the roads to be bad after 2 hours, though I have been here through a storm when we had over 4 inches standing on roads in less than an hour. It usually takes the snow plows (what makes our infrastructure awesome) about an hour and a half to make a first pass over each of the roads. There are several of them, and their routes cover the Interstate & the major highways first. Second are usually town roads & school bus routes. You do NOT want to drive during the hour between the plows first trips and their third. There are several reasons as to why you don't, which I've learned first hand. For starters, They go from point A to point B, back to point A, continuing on. If you're on the road opposite of them when they are returning from point B to do point A again, you'll get to experience the always safe 4 foot high wall of snow-sludge flung from the plow onto your windshield. I really can't put into words how fucking scary it is when this happens. You can't hit your brakes because of sliding, and you can't see the road at the crucial moment in time when the huge fuck off plow truck is opposite you. Just avoid driving during this time, for safety. Rule of thumb: Wait 3 hours from the first signs of snow accumulation before you try to drive the roads. Don't be impatient, it's not worth ending up in a ditch or worse.

During heavier storms the roads themselves will become snow-roads. As in the plows and other vehicles have driven over the snow so much that it's compacted down to make its own road. As crazy as it sounds, these are usually easy to drive on, with one exception: You will slide when you turn, period. There's no avoiding it. I've fishtailed our company cars so many times even when making a left turn at 5 mph. If you have shitty tires/didn't listen to the most important part, you will also probably slide anytime you brake. It's safer just to coast when approaching an intersection or a redlight. One scary sketchy aspect of these snow-roads is it is usually impossible to gauge where the lines are defining your lane. Rule of thumb is to follow the path of the other cars in your lane, which will be obviously defined with tire tracks all throughout. Be warned that during curves these tracks tend to be the only icy patches. The worst however is when fresh snow is falling on a snow road before new plowers have come. I've been caught in this once after leaving some movie. Sketchiest drive of my life - took me roughly 35 minutes to go 9 miles. Visibility was shitawful, and there was absolutely no way to tell where my lane was versus where the other side of the roads lane was. No yellow line, no white dotted lines, no shoulder lines, nothing. I drove slow as hell and gauged distance from speed limit/road signs to my right, but fucking a my tracks had to look like a constant S. It's really just best to be a little brave & figure out the limitations of what you can and can't handle.

During awful storms all major roads will shut down. Hope you planned on staying home. These will usually always be open and clear enough to drive on by 10 am the next morning, given said awful storm isn't ongoing. If you are home then your car is parked and is getting it's own nice fluffy layer. You're a resort slave and there's no way in hell you have a place with its own garage. Unless you're paying upwards of a grand. It may make you smile to watch it pile on your car, but you need to remove that shit before nightfall, and asap on colder days. If you leave settled snow on your car overnight, or on it for several hours during a fuck all cold day in february, the entire bottom layer of said car snow will become ice. This is not a pleasant experience. This is a pain in the fucking ass. Don't even risk discovering it for yourself, just heed my advice. You will want to invest in a heavy duty snow brush, and keep it on hand at all times. An important step that many tourists never do is to brush the snow off your headlights when removing it from the rest of your car. Also, please please please brush all the snow off the top of your car. Otherwise you'll induce the same circumstance as driving beside a new snow-plowing truck on the car behind you, and that's a dick move. Your cars going to get filthy. It's going to stay filthy for 6 months at the least. It's not even worth it to wash it.

There is one problem that plagues high elevation extreme cold winter cars: temperature windshield cracks. You will see these on the windshields of several unfortunate individuals. It sucks, and insurance will usually replace it. The crack is almost always in the same shape, looking like a gentle lowercase n written by someone with palsy all across the windshield. To my knowledge there is no way to avoid this from happening (if you know how to prevent it PLEASE share with me), and when/if it happens to you consider yourself unlucky. Hasn't happened to me yet. And if it fucking does it will only be because I posted that here. Your windshield wipers are fucked. The sooner you accept that they'll need to be replaced almost twice a year here, the better off you'll be.



Tourists can't drive for shit. For the best example, see Shangri: Year One - The Drunken Asshole. Sadly, this has happened to others I've known from sober drivers. Several parking lots next to the hotel-esque buildings all over resort are shielded from the sun day in and day out by said buildings. As a result, the parking lots turn into glacial ice sheets. These are awful to drive on, and brutal to step out of a car onto. I've fallen on my hip multiple times climbing out of cars, hurts like a bitch. Beyond parking lot nightmares, gaper-tourists have a tendency to live up to their name sake while driving on the fucking highways. For example, two days ago I was commuting to work on the clear highway, and the car in front of me started weaving and then slowed to 20 mph in a 45. I passed them, and felt the fury only tourists can induce when the driver and everyone else in the car were pointing and looking at the absolute shittiest looking peak on that stretch of road. Hell, if they'd fucking looked forward their view would've blown their minds and they would've seen why i dubbed this place shangri, but no. Fucking tourists. There is some joy to be had from them. My first year here I went to one of the pizza places on resort for carry out. While waiting for it to be ready I got to watch a family attempt to drive their mini van up an ice covered hill that even my honda can make on a bad day. It took this family a good 8 tries before they finally had family members stand on the rear bumper of the van and hauled it up. Watching them slide back down and get more and more frustrated was pure gold. Fucking tourists are also notorious for driving exceptionally slow when there are bare traces of snow on the road. We're talking 15 in a 55 on the clearly tracked out snow-road on a clear skies day with perfect visibility. There's no words to describe the rage of being stuck behind one when the highways dip down to 1 lane. At least not currently. Then again, I haven't been stuck behind one since last year. If/when it happens I'll edit this to reflect my feelings.



I realize a lot of this should be no brainer for anyone who lives in a place where there is winter, but goddammit i wish someone had put all this info in one place for me before I moved. So here you go. 

« Last Edit: November 15, 2012, 07:32:58 am by Da6s »
"If the only thing keeping a person decent is the expectation of divine reward then, brother, that person is a piece of shit. And I’d like to get as many of them out in the open as possible. You gotta get together and tell yourself stories that violate every law of the universe just to get through the goddamn day? What’s that say about your reality?"

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Re: The Winter Resort Survival Guide (Shangri pt 3)
« Reply #9 on: November 14, 2012, 01:14:32 pm »
IV.

Resort Drinking & Elevation Sickness


The entire point of this one is to prepare you for Elevation Drinking. I had read some minor blip on the radar warnings of what happens when you over consume at elevation, but I had no fucking idea. To really give it perspective here's how my first month of moving went down:

Drove out of Knoxville - 800 ft. | Spent one night in St Louis - 465 ft. | Stayed 2 nights in SilverDillon - 9017 ft. | Moved into an apt in Brecca for 1 Month - 9600 ft. Turns out I unexpectedly moved to Brecca the Saturday of their 2010 Oktoberfest. Of course I went. New one month roommates didn't even warn me to be cautious. I proceeded to slow play it and drank 4 mugs over the course of about 3 and a half hours. At 5 PM the hangover hit. This was the worst hangover I've ever had. It was awful. Apparently you're supposed to drink the equivalent of 8 bottles of water A DAY. I had maybe 1.5 for the first week, because I had no idea. I recovered the next day and discovered something I had never even heard of, which ended up lasting for 2 weeks: taking showers left me winded. We're talking straight up wheezing for breath after a shower. Beyond this, climbing the 2 flights of stairs to my temporary apartment also left me winded, even inducing a side stitch at times. Two fucking flights. I moved to Shangri after the four weeks, and for another 6 weeks after that the flight and a half of stairs up to my front door still left me winded.

Acclimation takes time. There's places that sell shit that will supposedly help fight it, but to tell the truth you're going to be screwed and miserable until your blood has thinned out and your body has adapted. Took about ten weeks for me. I've heard of some that's had it for worse for up to 3 months. Stores here sell canned oxygen, if you're a pussy buy it. Otherwise, chug all available water like you're on Dune and you should be ok. In time, you'll learn the absolute best perk of elevation living: Being Skinny. There are very few fatties at 9600 feet. I was definitely chubbed out when I moved out here, but it all melted away while I maintained almost the same dietary habits and lifestyle as when I was in Knoxville. I don't know why elevation living does it, but it's the best diet plan you can give yourself. Being active and boarding weekly won't hurt either. In addition to slimming down, you'll also find muscle tone is a LOT easier to develop up here. At least for me it seems. I'm sure that's not accurate and wouldn't apply to everyone's bodies, and i'm sure boardings mostly to blame though I did that back in the south too. However, my entire core/lower body has never looked better in my life. I've known others up here who claim the same thing - elevation is what keeps them fit and slim.  So it's really not just me.

When friends inevitably come visit you, you will probably see them experience elevation sickness, which you might not realize is what you had when you first moved up here. Symptoms include muscle aches all over, shortness of breath, dizziness, vomiting, headaches, nausea, and others that I can't remember right now. The best thing you can do for them is constantly harass them to drink more water. It's the only thing that will help them. It's apparently really bad for kids --- I've probably had upwards of 10 calls the past two winters to swap out sheets/blankets for beds because some elevation sick kid puked all over them. When your friends hit the slopes adrenaline probably won't have them realize how miserable they really are, until about 3 pm. Depending the person, they may be a whiny little bitch for the next 2 days. They'll be even worse if they land an elevation hangover.

The conversion goes one drink at sea equals two up here. If it takes 6 beers to get you drunk at sea level, you will be sloshed after finishing your second here. This is a double edged sword of AWESOME. it's cheaper, but if you aren't cautious and don't drink water the hangovers will be brutal. Through word of mouth I've learned that once you've had one really awful elevation hangover, you usually won't be affect by them again during your stay. Obviously, this is just for visitors, and once you've acclimated everything will be fine.

Resort bar scenes have pretty much everything you can want, given the town has a strong enough nightlife. Wine bar & tasting? Check. Irish pub(s)? Check. Martini, scotch, and cigar bars? Check. Bump & grind slut hut bars? Check. Non-wormwood Absinthe bar? You bet your ass. Mexican Cantina's? More than I care to count. Grand sake menu at sushi? Check. 4 AM burrito joint attached to bar? Check. Dives? Check. Live music? Everywhere. Haunted Brothel Bar? You bet your fucking ass Brecca has one. Again, I implore the STFU rule --- the people you meet will tell you the best, cheapest places to go. They'll tell you where there are covers, where there are none, where happy hour foods are best, and where they're cheapest. Know that most bars will always charge covers for drinking holidays, usually 30 bucks or so. It's a tourist town, and those bastards don't give a fuck and will pay it, so just suck it up and dish it out.

I used the term slut hut up there. I should elaborate. With the exception of the holy grail that is Jackson Hole, almost all winter resorts (to my knowledge) are sausage fests. Here, it's 3 males to every 1 female alongside rumored CDC figures of 1 in 3 females having herpes. Just fucking wrap it. There's a local saying here, which I'm sure applies all over: It's not your chick, it's just your turn. Something that happens all too often up here is chicks sleeping with 3 or 4 different guys, usually on different days of the week. They themselves tend to be homeless, drifting from one bed to another so they have a place to stay. They aren't all like that, obviously, but the ones you need to watch out for are. Better to be warned than not, right? All resorts are sausage fests. If you can't handle single women being non-existent, it may not be the place for you.

Fights are a nightly occurrence at the slut hut bars. Another good thing to know about Colorado in general is that we are arguably the worst state in the union when it comes to DUI. .07 is the limit, and if you're busted you're fucked for a solid 2 years if not longer. When a fight goes down in a slut hut bar it's usually 2 competing bro-brah's fighting over a town bicycle. When the fight happens usually all available cops respond, and the roads are clear for a very small window. Everyone leaves the bar at the same time. It's surreal to watch it happen, but I've literally been sitting around the glorious upstairs patio firepit conversing and drinking, hear sirens, look over the rail to see cops arriving from street level and running into bar for a fight. As soon as they were inside, 3/4 of the people at 4 different bars all bolted at the same time. I wouldn't have believed that really happened if I hadn't seen it.

Firepits deserve their own section. A select few bars have them outside. From my personal experience, the bar conversations are the absolute BEST around the firepits. Before we legalized, there would always be someone passing around their pipe at firepits without a care in the world, if that's your thing. I'm sure legalization will only further encourage that. Occasionally you'll find the one drunken douche/cunt who screams out that the firepit is for locals only, but usually she's shunned quickly. Most of the people I know here that hate tourists aren't like that to random strangers in conversation.  Sadly, I've seen that exact situation happen more than 5 times. I may have referenced that in a prior Shangri now that I think about it. Anyways. Bars with outside firepits are your best friends when it's in the negatives and snow is falling. So nice. Here's a local secret: The metal chairs around said firepit bars often will accumulate snow, or they'll be wet from old snow, and you'll see no one sitting in them. Pick up said metal chair, flip it, and hold the seat directly over the fire for about 15 seconds. All the snow will be melted off. You'll probably want to wait about 2 minutes before you sit down on it though. Don't sit down on it instantly because you're a drunken dumbass. Trust me. I don't see a shame smiley up there but it needs to follow that. Once it's cooled you now have a dry, snow free, partially warm chair, meanwhile all the standers are looking at you like you're a crazy genius. Just don't forget and sit down on it immediately afterward because you're drunk.

One of my favorite things about resort living are the drinking festivals. They have them for every excusable reason. Bluegrass music festival? Let's add & Beer to it! Weeklong Norse themed festival celebrating the god of snow? LETS DRINK WITH HORNED HELMS ON! Oktoberfest? Every weekend in september/october a different resort has one. Brewers festivals, wine tastings, bbq & beerfests, and many, many more. Typical beer festival, several vendor tents set up with some of their personal brews on tap. These festivals do cost a fair bit of money, but they're so worth it.

There are several ski resort customs for bars. One of these involves a thing called a shotski, which is the GREATEST invention ever. I just made one for my apartment last week. I will post a picture whenever I get around to it. I'll also go into more detail about it, and other drunken revelry as a what to expect.


This to be edited in the future with more and more stuff. Like all the others.
« Last Edit: November 15, 2012, 08:55:35 am by Da6s »
"If the only thing keeping a person decent is the expectation of divine reward then, brother, that person is a piece of shit. And I’d like to get as many of them out in the open as possible. You gotta get together and tell yourself stories that violate every law of the universe just to get through the goddamn day? What’s that say about your reality?"

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Re: The Winter Resort Survival Guide (Shangri pt 3)
« Reply #10 on: November 14, 2012, 04:07:31 pm »
Yeah, I'm digging this series. Reminds me of when I lived at Mammoth.

My primary graves guy worked at Mammoth for years...know a Dan Weems by chance?

Not that I can remember (I did ALOT of binge drinking when I lived there). I was there in '99 living with a bunch of pro boarders, a heroin junkie, the token black guy, a local who cut firewood for a living, and a hippie chick who tended bar at the nearby locals-only joint. They seriously should have made a reality TV show out of us. I had a shitload of fun there. The next year, they expanded the shit out of the base area and started scheduled commercial air service so I imagine it's all ruined forever but goddamn that was one kickass mountain town.

I've got some buddies from Maine who moved to CB and I've been out there a couple times to visit. If I was ever going to do the mountain thing again that's where I'd go. That's not far from where you are so if you ever have the time and inclination it's well worth a visit.
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Re: The Winter Resort Survival Guide (Shangri pt 3)
« Reply #11 on: November 15, 2012, 08:31:15 am »
Yeah, I'm digging this series. Reminds me of when I lived at Mammoth.

My primary graves guy worked at Mammoth for years...know a Dan Weems by chance?

Not that I can remember (I did ALOT of binge drinking when I lived there). I was there in '99 living with a bunch of pro boarders, a heroin junkie, the token black guy, a local who cut firewood for a living, and a hippie chick who tended bar at the nearby locals-only joint. They seriously should have made a reality TV show out of us. I had a shitload of fun there. The next year, they expanded the shit out of the base area and started scheduled commercial air service so I imagine it's all ruined forever but goddamn that was one kickass mountain town.

I've got some buddies from Maine who moved to CB and I've been out there a couple times to visit. If I was ever going to do the mountain thing again that's where I'd go. That's not far from where you are so if you ever have the time and inclination it's well worth a visit.

He was there from 03 - 08, working as "night front desk for the shittiest, cheapest place in all of mammoth".

I've yet to make it down to Crested Butte. I've heard they have the absolute best powder in all of the state, except for maybe Silverton, but fuck going there. That place is a deathtrap. Hell, this is their resort symbol:
« Last Edit: November 15, 2012, 08:40:53 am by Da6s »
"If the only thing keeping a person decent is the expectation of divine reward then, brother, that person is a piece of shit. And I’d like to get as many of them out in the open as possible. You gotta get together and tell yourself stories that violate every law of the universe just to get through the goddamn day? What’s that say about your reality?"

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Re: The Winter Resort Survival Guide (Shangri pt 3)
« Reply #12 on: November 15, 2012, 08:43:35 am »
It's mentioned in the first post now, but i'm updating all of these with more and more relevant information as I think of it. All sections updated just now.
« Last Edit: November 15, 2012, 08:56:37 am by Da6s »
"If the only thing keeping a person decent is the expectation of divine reward then, brother, that person is a piece of shit. And I’d like to get as many of them out in the open as possible. You gotta get together and tell yourself stories that violate every law of the universe just to get through the goddamn day? What’s that say about your reality?"

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Re: The Winter Resort Survival Guide (Shangri pt 3)
« Reply #13 on: November 21, 2012, 01:04:58 pm »
V.

Holidays.


Going to do this section through the season, with brief what to expects as well as summary of the shit hitting the fan for each. Know that if you live/work on a resort, holidays from Nov - April mean  nothing but work for you. You will not get them off. Don't even ask or try. Chances are slim to none. Unless you've paid your dues, even then, Xmas - New years is a definite NO.


Thanksgiving
I appeased the correct heathen god and I actually have this thanksgiving off. First holiday off to go home since I moved. This is my third winter out here, I'm in a management role, and I'm only now getting my first holiday off. Let it sink in now that Christmas, Thanksgiving, New Years, St Paddys, Valentines day, Presidents Weekend, MLK weekend, and any others I missed will be spent by you working. Working your ass off too.
Thanksgiving is the first bitch slap of the winter. I call it this because inevitably shit will hit the fan the week of Thanksgiving, and you won't be prepared at all. There's no way to prepare, it's just hte cruel reminder of how fucked you are and how so not ready for the xmas rush anyone on resort is. Thanksgiving is easily the first major rush of people. For example, my small operation has 72 arrivals today. That's an insane number for the Wednesday before. We have 160 arrivals total this week.
Guests during thanksgiving are EXTREMELY needy up until the afternoon of thanksgiving. Also, if they're fucking stupid and didn't plan out their vacation arrival until Thanksgiving morning, it will be your fault that they can't check in at 10 fucking AM to get early access to their kitchen to cook. There are ways to circumvent that - there are some businesses that will pre-cook several turkeys to deliver and sell at huge mark up to guests on resort. Expect people to be pissy from travel on the first two days, as well as angry if anything doesn't go right. Lucky for me, I'm getting the fuck out of this county for 3 days. I'll update this with more examples of the fervor as I see them happening in my email.



Christmas

"If the only thing keeping a person decent is the expectation of divine reward then, brother, that person is a piece of shit. And I’d like to get as many of them out in the open as possible. You gotta get together and tell yourself stories that violate every law of the universe just to get through the goddamn day? What’s that say about your reality?"

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Re: The Winter Resort Survival Guide (Shangri pt 3)
« Reply #14 on: December 02, 2012, 05:27:01 am »
Decided I'm going to post a gear section, because I like to think after the years I've spent emerged in this culture i've got a pretty god damned good idea of what gear is awesome, and what sucks.

Granted I have no clue how to go about this section. Item by item I suppose.


Music's a must for me during my runs. Hands down the best investment I've made with regards to gear in the past four years has been Audio Inserts for my helmet. There's a couple different brands out there - I bought skull candy's and they've been amazing so far. Perfect volume and there's no annoying end of day ear pains from headphones/ear buds. I see lots of steezy kids wearing full headsets a la beats by dre on the hill all the time, and I don't understand the appeal of those at all. Then again, they never wear helmets because they're fucktarded.

When I was first coming into my own with the sport I was primarily riding in NC & WV. I never wore a helmet, because I had no need for one. Helmet was one of the first purchases I made when I moved out here, and it was a great one. If you aren't careful on the hill, Colorado will fuck you up. It will fuck you up bad. In 2011/2012 season 17 people died in bounds on Colorado resorts, with 5 of those being at Shangri. Shangri had itsfirst fatality this week, though the dude probably just had a heart attack. ANYWAYS. Buy a helmet, it will save you.

To be continued like most of my works in progress...
"If the only thing keeping a person decent is the expectation of divine reward then, brother, that person is a piece of shit. And I’d like to get as many of them out in the open as possible. You gotta get together and tell yourself stories that violate every law of the universe just to get through the goddamn day? What’s that say about your reality?"