I Live in America

[stelz]

I live in PROGRESSIVE America. Not the way you commies think of "progressive", but REAL progressive, we get everything FIRST, after they test it at places like Pine Ridge (which are predominantly smudgey and therefore, not really american).

What do we get first, you ask? Nothing. The object of being PROGRESSIVE is to keep everything out. So FUCK your education, health care, and soft jobs, RICK PERRY SAYS WE DON'T NEED THAT SHIT. Our teen pregnancy rate PROVES that we are a growing, vibrant community.

[hunter s.durden]

I grew up in America the Classic. Two parents who fought constantly and a million relatives who where much more into their imaginary friends that live in the sky than in the real people right in front of them. Apple fucking heartland pie, it was.

Despite my best effort, I've never seen what it looks like outside of America. I've been to 10 different countries and not one of them wasn't America. To the south they speak Spanish, but are as American as anyone here. In the middle east I thought I would see another culture, but as the Arabs put on their best Billy Mays to sell me cheap goods I felt right at home. "My friend, my friend, is cheapest!"
And Japan? Shit. They put on a good show, showed us how traditional they are. Sushi. Table floors. Bowing.
When the show was over they put on the suit and tie and went back to the cubicle, just like good Americans.

And today? I would need pics to prove how deep I am now.