Dear Reverend Johnson,
I received your letter yesterday, informing me of the horrible dangers associated with the possible reelection of President Barack Obama. I couldn't help noticing, though, that you referred to him as "Barack Obama", and Mitt Romney as "Governor Romney". The fact is that Obama should properly be referred to as "President Obama", as he is in fact a sitting president...And while Mitt Romney may enjoy the title "Governor" in perpetuity, he is not in fact a sitting governor, so I find it odd that you extended the honorific to him, but not to the president.
Also, while I understand your religious views on Gay marriage, I ask you to understand that our system of government and our rights as citizens do not spring from your church. In fact, you remain untaxed as an example of how you are supposed to be apolitical, just as the government is not a religious function. Given that you do not feel constrained to perserve this separation, I feel I have no choice but to ask my congressional representative to have your tax exempt status removed, with back taxes accruing from 1955 to the present.
In addition, your letter referred to a member of my family as "perverse" and "evil". Not personally, but by virtue of your statements about Gays, transgendered folks, etc. Given that this member of the family is 16 years old, I'd think she'd hardly have had TIME to gain that status. She's a KID, you see, and I find your gleeful wishes of hellfire for her to be more than a little offensive. May I suggest that you move past the old testament, and perhaps read what Jesus actually said? You appear to be a little...Well, there's no easy way to say this: You are ignorant about the very religion you preach, and seem to have replaced it with a virulent poison that is a stain on America and the American way of life.
I am not a biblical scholar, sir, but I HAVE read the book of Luke. It talks about this "Jesus" fellow, who didn't hate on anybody. He in fact hung out with prostitutes and tax collectors, because they are apparently the only people that CAN be saved. You'll notice he didn't spend a lot of time with the Pharisees...And you, sir, are a Pharisee. If Jesus came back today, you'd be the first one running for a hammer and some nails, and you'd claim that you were doing it for his own good.
Lastly, I am unimpressed with your appeal for school reform. School is where children learn about how the temporal world works. When it's time for them to learn about spirituality, we have churches for that. But not your church, I am afraid. No, my children will not be attending your church, as it looks more like a White supremacy organization than a church, and the religion you preach appears to be some horrible form of demonology.
Reverend, I implore you to save yourself. Renounce your hate and find Jesus. Not Paul of Tarsus, but Jesus. Leave your vile hatred behind, lest God spit you from his mouth in disgust. And don't vote for Mormons, their cosmology is just as bad as that crap you spew.
Yours in The Fighting Jesus,
The Good Reverend Roger