Papercuts under the fingernail.
That squirrel who always looks at me sideways.
Cats that don't bury their poop in the litter box.
When you've really been craving a steak so you give in an order one at a restaurant, then when they finally bring it out to you, it's a grilled chicken breast.
Mr. Crazy Asshole has left 6 crazy messages since 1:00. If you're feeling benevolent, tone down the mind lazors a bit so that he gets too drunk to drive. I'm too busy to deal with that shit right now.
Did I mention papercuts under the fingernail?