Author Topic: Do any of you have friends...  (Read 494 times)

The Right Reverend Nigel

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Do any of you have friends...
« on: November 11, 2012, 12:25:33 am »
... who question your most mundane actions, and give you unsolicited "advice" that inexplicably seems to assume that you don't know the most rudimentary aspects of adult survival?

I don't even know what to do when people do this. It puzzles me.
“I’m guessing it was January 2007, a meeting in Bethesda, we got a bag of bees and just started smashing them on the desk,” Charles Wick said. “It was very complicated.”

“People get used to anything. The less you think about your oppression, the more your tolerance for it grows. After a while, people just think oppression is the normal state of things. But to become free, you have to be acutely aware of being a slave.”
― Assata Shaku

Phox

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Re: Do any of you have friends...
« Reply #1 on: November 11, 2012, 12:31:09 am »
Fortunately not. That must be one awkward situation. I honestly don't think I'd have a better response to it than you do. My first reaction is puzzlement as well.  I mean I sort of expect that sort of thing from my parents, simply because I'm still just a dumb kid, but not even my older friends do that. And you? You've got about  10,000 times experience than I, so I'm honestly baffled why anyone would do that to you, especially since, I would imagine, they know more about you than I do...

Emo Howard

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Re: Do any of you have friends...
« Reply #2 on: November 11, 2012, 12:32:46 am »
Maybe it's rudimentary to you, but something they've just figured out, but haven't yet figured out that most everybody else already got it a long time ago.

The Right Reverend Nigel

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Re: Do any of you have friends...
« Reply #3 on: November 11, 2012, 12:43:16 am »
Thanks. Phox! I'm glad I'm not the only one who responds with  :?

I kind of figure it must be that, Emo... they haven't clued into the fact that most adults figured these things out a long time ago, because they've had to deal with them on a regular basis.

It tends to be the same people over and over again. One in particular (the guy who did it most recently, this evening, in a truly baffling conversation regarding visiting the dentist) is about 7 years younger than I am and has had some difficulties becoming an independent adult, so that has to be it.

It was weird, though... almost like he isn't aware that I've been to the dentist and handled my own financial arrangements before.
“I’m guessing it was January 2007, a meeting in Bethesda, we got a bag of bees and just started smashing them on the desk,” Charles Wick said. “It was very complicated.”

“People get used to anything. The less you think about your oppression, the more your tolerance for it grows. After a while, people just think oppression is the normal state of things. But to become free, you have to be acutely aware of being a slave.”
― Assata Shaku

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Re: Do any of you have friends...
« Reply #4 on: November 11, 2012, 02:36:41 am »
I know people like that, but I sure as hell don't have friends like that.
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The Right Reverend Nigel

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Re: Do any of you have friends...
« Reply #5 on: November 11, 2012, 02:56:55 am »
I know people like that, but I sure as hell don't have friends like that.

 :lulz:

Touche.

“I’m guessing it was January 2007, a meeting in Bethesda, we got a bag of bees and just started smashing them on the desk,” Charles Wick said. “It was very complicated.”

“People get used to anything. The less you think about your oppression, the more your tolerance for it grows. After a while, people just think oppression is the normal state of things. But to become free, you have to be acutely aware of being a slave.”
― Assata Shaku

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Re: Do any of you have friends...
« Reply #6 on: November 11, 2012, 03:11:32 am »
I can't say anyone outside of my parents have said anything like that to me. Naturally, parents will be parents, and like Phox said, are expected to be that way. But peers? No.
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Re: Do any of you have friends...
« Reply #7 on: November 11, 2012, 03:21:31 am »
Do they have small kids? When my kids were little I temporarily forgot how to talk to adults. I'd catch myself starting to explain retarded stuff to them, like how to dial information.  :x
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Re: Do any of you have friends...
« Reply #8 on: November 11, 2012, 05:33:11 pm »
... who question your most mundane actions, and give you unsolicited "advice" that inexplicably seems to assume that you don't know the most rudimentary aspects of adult survival?

I don't even know what to do when people do this. It puzzles me.

I do, but since I'm just making this shit up as I go along, I usually try to take it in the spirit it's offered.  The level of esteem I hold that person in also plays into how seriously I take their advice.

We're not in each others head and what may be common sense for you may be hard fought knowledge for me after all.....
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The Right Reverend Nigel

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Re: Do any of you have friends...
« Reply #9 on: November 11, 2012, 05:35:04 pm »
Do they have small kids? When my kids were little I temporarily forgot how to talk to adults. I'd catch myself starting to explain retarded stuff to them, like how to dial information.  :x

The worst offender, no, the second-worst offender does have a toddler.

The guy from the dentist conversation I referred to, I used to take offense to, and then he'd get defensive, and we'd end up in a big argument. Now I just explain patiently why I am taking the course of action I am taking and thank him, which is probably reinforcing his moronic behavior but it's much less of a hassle.

Sometimes it's frustrating to realize that I am explaining my mundane day-to-day choices to someone whose business it is none of, like yesterday, explaining to this guy why I was planning to write myself a cash-advance check on my credit card and pay the dentist with cash so I could get a discount, and then he says
Quote
Why not write it to the dentist?
and I am already irritated because he's being condescending but I say that it's because they do not offer a discount for checks for new customers and then he says
Quote
you ought to call and ask of checks count the same - they generally do, as they don't cost the recipient anything to deposit. in common usage "cash discount" means "discount for paying immediately and not using a credit card." I have received cash discounts at two different dentists paying by check.
NO SHIT SHERLOCK, REALLY? IT'S NOT LIKE I EVER OWNED A BUSINESS OR NUTHIN
and then I find myself explaining that the reason I didn't want to write the check directly to the dentist is because they don't give the discount with checks if you are a new patient because they have had problems with new clients bouncing checks for large dollar amounts and the collections expense offsets any savings from not having to run a credit card and halfway through explaining it I'm thinking WHY THE FUCK AM I EXPLAINING ALL THIS TO BOZO HERE?


“I’m guessing it was January 2007, a meeting in Bethesda, we got a bag of bees and just started smashing them on the desk,” Charles Wick said. “It was very complicated.”

“People get used to anything. The less you think about your oppression, the more your tolerance for it grows. After a while, people just think oppression is the normal state of things. But to become free, you have to be acutely aware of being a slave.”
― Assata Shaku

The Right Reverend Nigel

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Re: Do any of you have friends...
« Reply #10 on: November 11, 2012, 05:37:01 pm »
This guy, BTW, is a former employee of mine, and I had to fire him because he was hopelessly incompetent and would argue with me about my processes, and then do them his way even after I explained why we did them the way we did, and make the mistakes that my processes were designed to avoid, which inevitably resulted in additional expense.
« Last Edit: November 11, 2012, 05:39:09 pm by CAKE »
“I’m guessing it was January 2007, a meeting in Bethesda, we got a bag of bees and just started smashing them on the desk,” Charles Wick said. “It was very complicated.”

“People get used to anything. The less you think about your oppression, the more your tolerance for it grows. After a while, people just think oppression is the normal state of things. But to become free, you have to be acutely aware of being a slave.”
― Assata Shaku

The Right Reverend Nigel

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Re: Do any of you have friends...
« Reply #11 on: November 11, 2012, 05:42:54 pm »
He is, BTW, both a SGitR and a Dunning-Kruger poster child.
“I’m guessing it was January 2007, a meeting in Bethesda, we got a bag of bees and just started smashing them on the desk,” Charles Wick said. “It was very complicated.”

“People get used to anything. The less you think about your oppression, the more your tolerance for it grows. After a while, people just think oppression is the normal state of things. But to become free, you have to be acutely aware of being a slave.”
― Assata Shaku

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Re: Do any of you have friends...
« Reply #12 on: November 11, 2012, 05:43:08 pm »
Ugh, that sounds annoying.
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The Right Reverend Nigel

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Re: Do any of you have friends...
« Reply #13 on: November 11, 2012, 05:46:37 pm »
I mostly avoid him because of behavior like that but sometimes he's just in the middle of a conversation because he's part of my closest circle of friends. We used to be actual friends but he has a really hard time with boundaries and respect so I don't spend much time with him. I anticipate that he's going to get worse now that he's a lawyer.
“I’m guessing it was January 2007, a meeting in Bethesda, we got a bag of bees and just started smashing them on the desk,” Charles Wick said. “It was very complicated.”

“People get used to anything. The less you think about your oppression, the more your tolerance for it grows. After a while, people just think oppression is the normal state of things. But to become free, you have to be acutely aware of being a slave.”
― Assata Shaku

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Re: Do any of you have friends...
« Reply #14 on: November 11, 2012, 05:51:24 pm »
I think you've mentioned this guy before.
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