Author Topic: Where do they come from?  (Read 534 times)

The Good Reverend Roger

  • Dirtbag
  • Deserved It
  • ****
  • Posts: 35308
    • View Profile
Where do they come from?
« on: November 16, 2012, 07:51:10 pm »
Dear <name redacted>

I read your PM, and frankly, I'd like to know what the hell gets into your head.  You know, as everyone on the board knows, that I am a man of delicate sensitivies and mild disposition.  On top of this, I am currently suffering from a bit of a sinus infection that has left me feeling weak and nauseated. 

So to PM me with a request such as that is not only boorish and rude, it is also more than a little heartless.  First of all, I don't even own that kind of car, nor am I as flexible as I once was.  Even if I did and I was, I'd likely sneeze 2-3 pounds of snot into the ashtray, which would ruin the moment for everyone.  The other half of your idea is unworkable because neither of my vehicles is a stickshift.

Lastly, while I am up for a good time as much as anyone else, and while I do not believe that animals have rights, there are limitations to what hideous things I will do to them in the name of sport.  Perhaps the idea would be workable with one or two local politicians.  They are useless beasts, whose eyes roll up into their heads on the very mention of innocent things like duty, honesty, or dedication.  They wouldn't be missed.

In closing, let me tell you that you are NOT welcome here, and should you schelp your way West and land upon my doorstep, I shall have no option other than to sneeze whatever vile thing that has infested my nose into your face, stick you in a barrel, and roll you down the hill into construction traffic.  We've had your sort around here before, and we know your tricks.

There.  Now you've made me lose my temper...Thanks a lot.  Don't write back until I feel better.

Love & Kisses,
Roger
"What can we do to help you stop screaming?"

LMNO, PhD (life continues)

  • Internet Fuckweasel of Haunted Pork Dimensions.
  • Deserved It
  • ****
  • Posts: 83119
  • Internet Fuckweasel of Haunted Pork Dimensions.
    • View Profile
    • Earfatigue Productions: When it has to sound like you give a shit.
Re: Where do they come from?
« Reply #1 on: November 16, 2012, 07:56:25 pm »
Damn my imagination!

 :ohnotache:
LMNO
Pope/Wrought Iron Instigator
First Church of Last Exit Before Toll
The Spider Project.

Buy the Chao te Ching, or be doomed forever.

http://www.stonybrook.edu/sb/marburger/index.shtml

"Get offa me, you freaks!  This is not North Korea.  No.  This is America, and I expect to be PAID for that sort of nonsense.  In advance.  No credit...Cash on the barrelhead or GTFO.  I swear to God, there's nothing more annoying than commie perverts who don't understand the intrinsic value of the free market system."

Tiddleywomp Cockletit

  • La Mano Famosa del Infierno
  • Deserved It
  • ****
  • Posts: 151970
  • Interweb Horrormonkey of Love
    • View Profile
Re: Where do they come from?
« Reply #2 on: November 16, 2012, 07:59:08 pm »
No shit. Boggling. :lulz:
Scantily-Clad Inspector of Gigantic and Unnecessary Cashews, Texas Division

The Good Reverend Roger

  • Dirtbag
  • Deserved It
  • ****
  • Posts: 35308
    • View Profile
Re: Where do they come from?
« Reply #3 on: November 16, 2012, 08:03:22 pm »
No shit. Boggling. :lulz:

This was NOTHING.  Just a weird idea for having a bit of "fun".

I believe I have mentioned that I have stored the best of the REAL lunatics in a file, and I have willed it to ECH in the case of my death (or absence from the board of 2 years or more), to do with as he wishes.  The letters in THAT file are deranged to a level that is difficult to describe, other than the fact that there are a good number of marriage proposals and death threats (often in the same PM), and several people demanding that I stop sending bad thoughts into their dreams.

One guy is convinced that I work directly for the NSA, which is of course nutty as fuck.  As far as you know.
"What can we do to help you stop screaming?"

Mesozoic Mister Nigel

  • Deserved It
  • ****
  • Posts: 618777
  • v=1/3πr2h
    • View Profile
Re: Where do they come from?
« Reply #4 on: November 16, 2012, 08:13:25 pm »
You are the new Bob Hope.  :lulz:
“I’m guessing it was January 2007, a meeting in Bethesda, we got a bag of bees and just started smashing them on the desk,” Charles Wick said. “It was very complicated.”

“All that goodness, with a frozen chicken in the middle.”
― Doktor Howl, 2014

The Good Reverend Roger

  • Dirtbag
  • Deserved It
  • ****
  • Posts: 35308
    • View Profile
Re: Where do they come from?
« Reply #5 on: November 16, 2012, 08:18:26 pm »
You are the new Bob Hope.  :lulz:

But I hate golf.   :cry:
"What can we do to help you stop screaming?"

Tiddleywomp Cockletit

  • La Mano Famosa del Infierno
  • Deserved It
  • ****
  • Posts: 151970
  • Interweb Horrormonkey of Love
    • View Profile
Re: Where do they come from?
« Reply #6 on: November 16, 2012, 09:30:22 pm »
Bob just made everybody mass hallucinate that he liked golf.
Scantily-Clad Inspector of Gigantic and Unnecessary Cashews, Texas Division

Luna

  • Deserved It
  • ****
  • Posts: 104584
    • View Profile
Re: Where do they come from?
« Reply #7 on: November 17, 2012, 12:06:55 am »
You are the new Bob Hope.  :lulz:

But I hate golf.   :cry:

Face it, you are the naked god of the golf course.  Older golfers warn little golfers about you before they tread the course over which you spew your venom.
Death-dealing hormone freak of deliciousness
Pagan-Stomping Valkyrie of the Interbutts™
Rampaging Slayer of Shit-Fountain Habitues

"My father says that almost the whole world is asleep. Everybody you know, everybody you see, everybody you talk to. He says that only a few people are awake, and they live in a state of constant, total amazement."

If Luna was a furry, she'd sex humans and scream "BEASTIALITY!" at the top of her lungs at inopportune times.

I like the Luna one. She is a good one.

Quote
"Stop talking to yourself.  You don't like you any better than anyone else who knows you."

Cain

  • Herma-mora-altadoon ae altadoon
  • Chekha
  • Deserved It
  • ****
  • Posts: 98498
    • View Profile
Re: Where do they come from?
« Reply #8 on: November 17, 2012, 12:10:18 am »
But what's the frequency, Roger?  TELL ME WHAT THE FREQUENCY IS.
"The thoughts of all men arise from the darkness. If you are the movement of your soul, and the cause of that movement precedes you, then how could you ever call your thoughts your own? How could you be anything other than a slave to the darkness that comes before? Only the Logos allows one to mitigate that slavery. Only knowing the sources of thought and action allows us to own our thoughts and our actions, to throw off the yoke of circumstance."
- R. Scott Bakker, The Darkness That Comes Before

Mesozoic Mister Nigel

  • Deserved It
  • ****
  • Posts: 618777
  • v=1/3πr2h
    • View Profile
Re: Where do they come from?
« Reply #9 on: November 17, 2012, 12:16:59 am »
You are the new Bob Hope.  :lulz:

But I hate golf.   :cry:

Face it, you are the naked god of the golf course.  Older golfers warn little golfers about you before they tread the course over which you spew your venom.

You can't deny this.
“I’m guessing it was January 2007, a meeting in Bethesda, we got a bag of bees and just started smashing them on the desk,” Charles Wick said. “It was very complicated.”

“All that goodness, with a frozen chicken in the middle.”
― Doktor Howl, 2014

chimes

  • (epimetheus, but epimetheus was an Accursed F5er)
  • Deserved It
  • ****
  • Posts: 16294
    • View Profile
Re: Where do they come from?
« Reply #10 on: November 17, 2012, 01:03:49 am »
But what's the frequency, Roger?  TELL ME WHAT THE FREQUENCY IS.

What is this reference? You've conjured up a memory of me and my buddy's inside joke from high school: "WHAT IS THE WATTAGE OF THE PUMP?"
what is this kid talking about?

post-singularity pocket orgasm toad of righteousness

chimes

  • (epimetheus, but epimetheus was an Accursed F5er)
  • Deserved It
  • ****
  • Posts: 16294
    • View Profile
Re: Where do they come from?
« Reply #11 on: November 17, 2012, 01:05:32 am »
Re: OP,  :lol: at the politicians line. Anyone who marries a politician has committed bestiality.
I'm confused about the "construction traffic" - isn't that traffic slow/stopped?
what is this kid talking about?

post-singularity pocket orgasm toad of righteousness

Mesozoic Mister Nigel

  • Deserved It
  • ****
  • Posts: 618777
  • v=1/3πr2h
    • View Profile
Re: Where do they come from?
« Reply #12 on: November 17, 2012, 01:05:59 am »
But what's the frequency, Roger?  TELL ME WHAT THE FREQUENCY IS.

What is this reference? You've conjured up a memory of me and my buddy's inside joke from high school: "WHAT IS THE WATTAGE OF THE PUMP?"

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dan_Rather#.22Kenneth.2C_what_is_the_frequency.3F.22
“I’m guessing it was January 2007, a meeting in Bethesda, we got a bag of bees and just started smashing them on the desk,” Charles Wick said. “It was very complicated.”

“All that goodness, with a frozen chicken in the middle.”
― Doktor Howl, 2014

The Good Reverend Roger

  • Dirtbag
  • Deserved It
  • ****
  • Posts: 35308
    • View Profile
Re: Where do they come from?
« Reply #13 on: November 17, 2012, 01:34:25 am »
You are the new Bob Hope.  :lulz:

But I hate golf.   :cry:

Face it, you are the naked god of the golf course.  Older golfers warn little golfers about you before they tread the course over which you spew your venom.

You can't deny this.

I am the ogre of the NW golf course.  :lol:
"What can we do to help you stop screaming?"

chimes

  • (epimetheus, but epimetheus was an Accursed F5er)
  • Deserved It
  • ****
  • Posts: 16294
    • View Profile
Re: Where do they come from?
« Reply #14 on: November 17, 2012, 03:18:36 am »
But what's the frequency, Roger?  TELL ME WHAT THE FREQUENCY IS.

What is this reference? You've conjured up a memory of me and my buddy's inside joke from high school: "WHAT IS THE WATTAGE OF THE PUMP?"

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dan_Rather#.22Kenneth.2C_what_is_the_frequency.3F.22

 :lulz:
what is this kid talking about?

post-singularity pocket orgasm toad of righteousness