Author Topic: Where do they come from?  (Read 428 times)

The Good Reverend Roger

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Where do they come from?
« on: November 16, 2012, 07:51:10 pm »
Dear <name redacted>

I read your PM, and frankly, I'd like to know what the hell gets into your head.  You know, as everyone on the board knows, that I am a man of delicate sensitivies and mild disposition.  On top of this, I am currently suffering from a bit of a sinus infection that has left me feeling weak and nauseated. 

So to PM me with a request such as that is not only boorish and rude, it is also more than a little heartless.  First of all, I don't even own that kind of car, nor am I as flexible as I once was.  Even if I did and I was, I'd likely sneeze 2-3 pounds of snot into the ashtray, which would ruin the moment for everyone.  The other half of your idea is unworkable because neither of my vehicles is a stickshift.

Lastly, while I am up for a good time as much as anyone else, and while I do not believe that animals have rights, there are limitations to what hideous things I will do to them in the name of sport.  Perhaps the idea would be workable with one or two local politicians.  They are useless beasts, whose eyes roll up into their heads on the very mention of innocent things like duty, honesty, or dedication.  They wouldn't be missed.

In closing, let me tell you that you are NOT welcome here, and should you schelp your way West and land upon my doorstep, I shall have no option other than to sneeze whatever vile thing that has infested my nose into your face, stick you in a barrel, and roll you down the hill into construction traffic.  We've had your sort around here before, and we know your tricks.

There.  Now you've made me lose my temper...Thanks a lot.  Don't write back until I feel better.

Love & Kisses,
Roger
"The illusion of freedom will continue as long as it's profitable to continue the illusion. At the point where the illusion becomes too expensive to maintain, they will just take down the scenery, they will pull back the curtains, they will move the tables and chairs out of the way, and you will see the brick wall at the back of the theatre."
- Frank Zappa

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Re: Where do they come from?
« Reply #1 on: November 16, 2012, 07:56:25 pm »
Damn my imagination!

 :ohnotache:
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Tiddleywomp Cockletit

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Re: Where do they come from?
« Reply #2 on: November 16, 2012, 07:59:08 pm »
No shit. Boggling. :lulz:
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The Good Reverend Roger

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Re: Where do they come from?
« Reply #3 on: November 16, 2012, 08:03:22 pm »
No shit. Boggling. :lulz:

This was NOTHING.  Just a weird idea for having a bit of "fun".

I believe I have mentioned that I have stored the best of the REAL lunatics in a file, and I have willed it to ECH in the case of my death (or absence from the board of 2 years or more), to do with as he wishes.  The letters in THAT file are deranged to a level that is difficult to describe, other than the fact that there are a good number of marriage proposals and death threats (often in the same PM), and several people demanding that I stop sending bad thoughts into their dreams.

One guy is convinced that I work directly for the NSA, which is of course nutty as fuck.  As far as you know.
"The illusion of freedom will continue as long as it's profitable to continue the illusion. At the point where the illusion becomes too expensive to maintain, they will just take down the scenery, they will pull back the curtains, they will move the tables and chairs out of the way, and you will see the brick wall at the back of the theatre."
- Frank Zappa

Nigel

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Re: Where do they come from?
« Reply #4 on: November 16, 2012, 08:13:25 pm »
You are the new Bob Hope.  :lulz:
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“I’m guessing it was January 2007, a meeting in Bethesda, we got a bag of bees and just started smashing them on the desk,” Charles Wick said. “It was very complicated.”

“People get used to anything. The less you think about your oppression, the more your tolerance for it grows. After a while, people just think oppression is the normal state of things. But to become free, you have to be acutely aware of being a slave.”
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The Good Reverend Roger

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Re: Where do they come from?
« Reply #5 on: November 16, 2012, 08:18:26 pm »
You are the new Bob Hope.  :lulz:

But I hate golf.   :cry:
"The illusion of freedom will continue as long as it's profitable to continue the illusion. At the point where the illusion becomes too expensive to maintain, they will just take down the scenery, they will pull back the curtains, they will move the tables and chairs out of the way, and you will see the brick wall at the back of the theatre."
- Frank Zappa

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Re: Where do they come from?
« Reply #6 on: November 16, 2012, 09:30:22 pm »
Bob just made everybody mass hallucinate that he liked golf.
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Re: Where do they come from?
« Reply #7 on: November 17, 2012, 12:06:55 am »
You are the new Bob Hope.  :lulz:

But I hate golf.   :cry:

Face it, you are the naked god of the golf course.  Older golfers warn little golfers about you before they tread the course over which you spew your venom.
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Re: Where do they come from?
« Reply #8 on: November 17, 2012, 12:10:18 am »
But what's the frequency, Roger?  TELL ME WHAT THE FREQUENCY IS.

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Re: Where do they come from?
« Reply #9 on: November 17, 2012, 12:16:59 am »
You are the new Bob Hope.  :lulz:

But I hate golf.   :cry:

Face it, you are the naked god of the golf course.  Older golfers warn little golfers about you before they tread the course over which you spew your venom.

You can't deny this.
Tiny and Terrible Strap-On Fuckhorde of Tonight's Wrong Turn.

“I’m guessing it was January 2007, a meeting in Bethesda, we got a bag of bees and just started smashing them on the desk,” Charles Wick said. “It was very complicated.”

“People get used to anything. The less you think about your oppression, the more your tolerance for it grows. After a while, people just think oppression is the normal state of things. But to become free, you have to be acutely aware of being a slave.”
― Assata Shaku

chimes

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Re: Where do they come from?
« Reply #10 on: November 17, 2012, 01:03:49 am »
But what's the frequency, Roger?  TELL ME WHAT THE FREQUENCY IS.

What is this reference? You've conjured up a memory of me and my buddy's inside joke from high school: "WHAT IS THE WATTAGE OF THE PUMP?"
what is this kid talking about?

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chimes

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Re: Where do they come from?
« Reply #11 on: November 17, 2012, 01:05:32 am »
Re: OP,  :lol: at the politicians line. Anyone who marries a politician has committed bestiality.
I'm confused about the "construction traffic" - isn't that traffic slow/stopped?
what is this kid talking about?

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Nigel

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Re: Where do they come from?
« Reply #12 on: November 17, 2012, 01:05:59 am »
But what's the frequency, Roger?  TELL ME WHAT THE FREQUENCY IS.

What is this reference? You've conjured up a memory of me and my buddy's inside joke from high school: "WHAT IS THE WATTAGE OF THE PUMP?"

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dan_Rather#.22Kenneth.2C_what_is_the_frequency.3F.22
Tiny and Terrible Strap-On Fuckhorde of Tonight's Wrong Turn.

“I’m guessing it was January 2007, a meeting in Bethesda, we got a bag of bees and just started smashing them on the desk,” Charles Wick said. “It was very complicated.”

“People get used to anything. The less you think about your oppression, the more your tolerance for it grows. After a while, people just think oppression is the normal state of things. But to become free, you have to be acutely aware of being a slave.”
― Assata Shaku

The Good Reverend Roger

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Re: Where do they come from?
« Reply #13 on: November 17, 2012, 01:34:25 am »
You are the new Bob Hope.  :lulz:

But I hate golf.   :cry:

Face it, you are the naked god of the golf course.  Older golfers warn little golfers about you before they tread the course over which you spew your venom.

You can't deny this.

I am the ogre of the NW golf course.  :lol:
"The illusion of freedom will continue as long as it's profitable to continue the illusion. At the point where the illusion becomes too expensive to maintain, they will just take down the scenery, they will pull back the curtains, they will move the tables and chairs out of the way, and you will see the brick wall at the back of the theatre."
- Frank Zappa

chimes

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Re: Where do they come from?
« Reply #14 on: November 17, 2012, 03:18:36 am »
But what's the frequency, Roger?  TELL ME WHAT THE FREQUENCY IS.

What is this reference? You've conjured up a memory of me and my buddy's inside joke from high school: "WHAT IS THE WATTAGE OF THE PUMP?"

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dan_Rather#.22Kenneth.2C_what_is_the_frequency.3F.22

 :lulz:
what is this kid talking about?

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