Author Topic: ITT: Best Posts of the Day  (Read 263347 times)

Eater of Clowns

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Re: ITT: Best Posts of the Day
« Reply #1440 on: December 22, 2014, 06:59:19 pm »
Squid in the wild die soon after reproduction, on purpose. When uplifted by humans, ingeniopods were made to be capable of multiple reproductive events without dying. But there's still an instinct down deep in their heritage to have sex and die. It has become a twisted impulse that mashes together a desire for murder/suicide with sex. So, I envision the dark sexuality of the creatures in Lovecraft would resonate, and they'd engage in worship and rituals involving them to hold back these instincts.

Wait a minute...

What squid species die after reproduction in a pre-planned way? Most squid have short lifespans, so they only get one or two cracks at mating seasons, but I think you've got octopuses on the brain here (specifically the giant pacific octopus).

Well. I did say we were prudish about such things, but very well.

Architeuthis explodius, or more commonly, the demolition squid, is known for its tendency to interweave complex displays of explosions into its behavior. Whilst this grants it an obvious advantage in hunting, and assists it in claiming territory in the London sewers where it is most commonly encountered, it does make the mating habits of the species both difficult to observe and highly dangerous for members of the species, observers, and the structural integrity of nearby buildings.

Quite why the demolition squid feels compelled to hunt out unexploded bombs and incorporate them into its mating ritual is a subject hotly contested by scholars of the species. It is believed that it may have come about during the blitz, when several of the species were caught with their pants down during a raid, and the sudden introduction of several tons of explosive force leant a certain 'kick' to proceedings. Now, it seems that mating rights are accorded only to the pair who can accumulate the most 'bang'. Thus the popular slang in artillery units throughout the world, who refer to shelling as 'stirring up the squids' or 'spreading the ink'.

The most convincing argument for the behavior, however, is that it helps to keep territorial conflicts to a minimum. Following the presentation of the largest collection of shells (or 'banging beaks' as they are known in the squid's own community), the lesser squids retreat to their lairs, and detonate their explosives alone. Without the cushioning material of a second squid (and the impact-absorbing 'fluids' excreted during the mating), this results in large sections of London being opened up for new territorial claims. As the squids can't afford the rent in high class areas, and it keeps the property developers in regular business, nobody minds too much. Well, not anyone important anyway.

AND NOW YOU KNOW.
EoC, you are the bane of my existence.

EoC doesn't make creepy.

EoC makes creepy worse.

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the afflicted persons get hold of and consume carrots even in socially quite unacceptable situations.

Freeky

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Re: ITT: Best Posts of the Day
« Reply #1441 on: May 29, 2015, 05:48:25 am »
Goddammit, DemoSquid.   :lulz: :argh!:
If someone does the ďFine, youíre right, Iím clearly a terrible person, Iím Satan, Iím the worst person alive, I should just dieĒ thing in response to criticism of their harmful behavior, they are trying to manipulate people and flip the situation around so that they look like a victim.

As a neuroscientist I have to disagree with the perception that anyone is doing mathematical modeling of cognitive intelligence, yet; intelligence as an economist defines it, yes, but economists are worlds away from actual cognition.


Although it is outside the purview of this organization to offer personal advice, we can say -- without assuming any liability -- that previous experience indicates (and recent market studies corroborate) that given the present condition of the marketplace, continuing with your present course of action is likely to result in substantial in

Doktor Howl

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Re: ITT: Best Posts of the Day
« Reply #1442 on: March 06, 2018, 04:13:30 am »
On FB today, me talking to Zenpatista:

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Think of my career as Melania Trump, and your career as Melania Trump only without the gold toilets.
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Zenpatista

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Re: ITT: Best Posts of the Day
« Reply #1443 on: March 06, 2018, 05:14:15 am »
On FB today, me talking to Zenpatista:

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Think of my career as Melania Trump, and your career as Melania Trump only without the gold toilets.

That is far too ridiculously accurate. Angry, balding white men yell frequently where I work. And most of the time I take it stoically like MT. I work in a public university and nothing I have is gold plated. In fact the entire operation is sometimes more similar to the toilet interior rather than any kind of toiled, plated or not. 

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Re: ITT: Best Posts of the Day
« Reply #1444 on: August 25, 2018, 05:26:23 pm »
It's not a post from here, but:

As she lay there next to me, completely spent,
one voice inside my head kept saying, "Relax...
you're not the first doctor who's ever slept
with one of his patients," but another kept
nagging at me, "Dude, you're a veterinarian."
"Don't get me wrong, I greatly appreciate the fact that you're at least putting effort into sincerely arguing your points. It's an argument I've enjoyed having. It's just that your points are wrong and your reasons for thinking they're right are stupid."
- Cainad

"NOTHING IS AS BAD AS IT SEEMS.  BUT YOU'RE STILL FUCKED."
- Dirty Old Uncle Roger

LuciferX

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Re: ITT: Best Posts of the Day
« Reply #1445 on: August 26, 2018, 01:54:25 am »
It's not a post from here, but:

As she lay there next to me, completely spent,
one voice inside my head kept saying, "Relax...
you're not the first doctor who's ever slept
with one of his patients," but another kept
nagging at me, "Dude, you're a veterinarian."
:lulz:
Hic Salta?
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