Author Topic: Oh, Oregon!  (Read 17496 times)

LMNO

  • Lubricated and Rabid Lungfish of Impending Sexdoom
  • Deserved It
  • ****
  • Posts: 87071
  • Internet Fuckweasel of Haunted Pork Dimensions.
    • View Profile
    • Earfatigue Productions: When it has to sound like you give a shit.
Re: Oh, Oregon!
« Reply #15 on: June 10, 2013, 10:01:19 pm »
No. More of this type of bear than anything, really.

Please stop using my picture without attribution.

Mesozoic Mister Nigel

  • v=1/3πr2h
  • Deserved It
  • ****
  • Posts: 687093
  • The sky tastes like red exuberance.
    • View Profile
Re: Oh, Oregon!
« Reply #16 on: June 11, 2013, 04:36:03 am »
No grizzlies. Lots of FABULOUS, mostly concentrated around the West Hills of Portland, and about 30,000 of these adorable bastards:



Speaking of which, here's some older but classic Oregon-style crazy: http://www.kval.com/news/local/128830713.html

Lady, don't feed the black bears. Seriously.

Unless it's one of these:

Im guessing it was January 2007, a meeting in Bethesda, we got a bag of bees and just started smashing them on the desk, Charles Wick said. It was very complicated.


Mesozoic Mister Nigel

  • v=1/3πr2h
  • Deserved It
  • ****
  • Posts: 687093
  • The sky tastes like red exuberance.
    • View Profile
Re: Oh, Oregon!
« Reply #17 on: June 14, 2013, 03:44:02 pm »
What the fuck

Oregon hasn't had a tornado since like 1972.

http://www.katu.com/news/local/Strong-storm-damages-buildings-in-McMinnville-211488911.html
Quote
Three buildings were destroyed or heavily damaged after a tornado struck this town Thursday afternoon.

The National Weather Service confirmed late Thursday night that it was a tornado, with winds of up to 85 mph, that touched down in McMinnville, Ore. The weather service rated the tornado as an EF1 at Northeast Alpine and 12th Avenue and an EF0 at Northeast 14th and Kirby, a few blocks away. The location of the damaged buildings is in the area of Northeast Lafayette Avenue and Riverside Drive.

This is cool, I'm sick of the whole "throw it away and replace it" bullshit.

http://www.oregonlive.com/living/index.ssf/2013/06/post_42.html#incart_river
Quote
Broken vacuum cleaner? Buy a new one, right?

Same for a busted toaster oven, iron, rice cooker, blender or clock. After all, the last time you noticed a repair shop for small appliances and gadgets was ... when?

"The repair culture has taken a beating over the last 40 years," said Bryce Jacobson, a senior waste reduction planner with Metro who volunteered at Portland's first "Repair Cafe" pilot event at Last Thursday on Alberta last month, a small case of screwdriver bits opened before him. "The price of a new item is so low."

Lose one, find one: http://www.katu.com/news/local/Search-underway-for-missing-hiker-on-Mount-Hood-211477951.html
Quote
Searchers have located an Oregon hiker who informed his wife by phone that he had twisted his knee and become disoriented in foggy weather on or near the Pacific Crest Trail near Mount Hood.
   
Clackamas County sheriff's Lt. Adam Phillips said rescuers found 53-year-old David Anderson of Corvallis on Thursday evening near the Paradise Park shelter on the Paradise Park Trail. His location was pinpointed from his cell phone coordinates. The hiker had said he needed help to get out of the area.

Why does "stay on the trail" not ever seem to sound like a good idea for these people? He's so lucky he had cell reception up there.

http://portlandtribune.com/pt/9-news/154267-downtown-cross-burning-sparks-investigation
Quote
Police are investigating an early Monday morning cross burning in downtown Portland.

A possible suspect is described as a white male, 30-50 years old, 6'00" tall, medium build, brown hair, possible beard, wearing a hat and blue jeans.

According to police, at 5:54 a.m. on June 10, officers and Portland Fire & Rescue personnel responded to the report of a subject trying to light a cross on fire at West Burnside Street and Broadway.

Officers arrived and located a burning cross, approximately 3 feet tall, on the sidewalk, surrounded by traffic cones and street closure signs left over from the Grand Floral Parade.

The cross was constructed with small tree branches strapped together with assorted trash.

Meanwhile, across the river in Washington, a naked hiker on a "spirit journey" is missing, some teenager in Vancouver is freaked out because he saw a bear on his street, and there's a dead whale on the beach. ECH should really start an "Oh, Washington!" thread, because while headlines lack the smalltown blotter feel they have here (Two-Faced kitten born Tuesday dies. Car crashes into power pole and takes out power to 26,000 residents) they are easily just as Pacific Northwest.



Im guessing it was January 2007, a meeting in Bethesda, we got a bag of bees and just started smashing them on the desk, Charles Wick said. It was very complicated.


Mesozoic Mister Nigel

  • v=1/3πr2h
  • Deserved It
  • ****
  • Posts: 687093
  • The sky tastes like red exuberance.
    • View Profile
Re: Oh, Oregon!
« Reply #18 on: June 14, 2013, 03:49:30 pm »
I will leave you, today, with one of our classics:

http://www.nbcnews.com/id/41725593/ns/politics-capitol_hill/t/oregon-congressman-says-he-took-painkiller/#.Ubssuuvq3V0
Quote
PORTLAND, Ore. An Oregon congressman said Tuesday that he accepted prescription drugs from a campaign contributor last October, around the same time members of his staff complained of his erratic behavior.

Rep. David Wu told The Oregonian in a written response to a query that he had left another kind of painkiller one prescribed by his doctor for neck pain in Washington. He said the donor offered him an alternative, and he took two tablets.

"This was the only time that this has ever happened," Wu wrote. "I recognize that my action showed poor judgment at the time, and I sincerely regret having put my staff in a difficult position."

Earlier Tuesday, Wu said on ABC's "Good Morning America" that it was "unprofessional and inappropriate" for him to send pictures of himself wearing a tiger costume to staff members.

Im guessing it was January 2007, a meeting in Bethesda, we got a bag of bees and just started smashing them on the desk, Charles Wick said. It was very complicated.


LMNO

  • Lubricated and Rabid Lungfish of Impending Sexdoom
  • Deserved It
  • ****
  • Posts: 87071
  • Internet Fuckweasel of Haunted Pork Dimensions.
    • View Profile
    • Earfatigue Productions: When it has to sound like you give a shit.
Re: Oh, Oregon!
« Reply #19 on: June 14, 2013, 06:33:31 pm »
Shit, I'd vote for him.

Mesozoic Mister Nigel

  • v=1/3πr2h
  • Deserved It
  • ****
  • Posts: 687093
  • The sky tastes like red exuberance.
    • View Profile
Re: Oh, Oregon!
« Reply #20 on: June 14, 2013, 08:15:01 pm »
I know, right? He's got nothing on Bud Clark for eccentric, anyway.
Im guessing it was January 2007, a meeting in Bethesda, we got a bag of bees and just started smashing them on the desk, Charles Wick said. It was very complicated.


Mesozoic Mister Nigel

  • v=1/3πr2h
  • Deserved It
  • ****
  • Posts: 687093
  • The sky tastes like red exuberance.
    • View Profile
Re: Oh, Oregon!
« Reply #21 on: June 14, 2013, 08:16:17 pm »
Or Mayor Vera "Will eat your heart while you scream" Katz.

Im guessing it was January 2007, a meeting in Bethesda, we got a bag of bees and just started smashing them on the desk, Charles Wick said. It was very complicated.


Mesozoic Mister Nigel

  • v=1/3πr2h
  • Deserved It
  • ****
  • Posts: 687093
  • The sky tastes like red exuberance.
    • View Profile
Re: Oh, Oregon!
« Reply #22 on: June 14, 2013, 08:27:28 pm »
In other news, here's some more typical Portland police "law enforcement" in action:
http://www.oregonlive.com/portland/index.ssf/2013/06/portland_police_order_up_new_i.html#incart_river

Quote
Last year, Portland police approached someone who was waiting for a bus in Southeast Portland, thinking the commuter looked like a suspect wanted for rifling through mailboxes in the area.

The thief's description: a Hispanic man, late 30s, 5-feet-4 to 5-feet-6, with a thin build, wearing a cream-colored beanie, black jacket and carrying a black backpack.

The person detained: Lisa Haynes, an African American woman in her late 40s who stands 4-foot-10-inches tall.

Well, of course she was the suspect; she was standing right out in the open, blatantly being Black.

Quote
Committee members asked Elmore why he "exonerated" Baldwin for the profanity allegation.

"I don't have any information to corroborate her allegation, and he said 'I didn't recall,' " Elmore replied.

Committee members weren't persuaded. The record showed Baldwin told internal affairs investigators he might have said something "off the wall" and the officers had some type of exchange with Haynes, but he did not "recall" telling Haynes, as she had alleged, to shut up because she has no (expletive) rights.

If the filth every stop me I hope I have the presence of mind to hit the voice memo button on my phone.
Im guessing it was January 2007, a meeting in Bethesda, we got a bag of bees and just started smashing them on the desk, Charles Wick said. It was very complicated.


Mesozoic Mister Nigel

  • v=1/3πr2h
  • Deserved It
  • ****
  • Posts: 687093
  • The sky tastes like red exuberance.
    • View Profile
Re: Oh, Oregon!
« Reply #23 on: June 14, 2013, 09:10:35 pm »
Annnnd sigh

http://www.opb.org/news/blog/ecotrope/portland-arboretum-to-host-tree-hugging-world-record-attempt/?utm_source=Facebook&utm_medium=Social&utm_campaign=FBOPB893

Quote
Believe it or not, Portland doesn't hold the world record for tree-hugging. At least not yet.

According to the Guinness Book of World Records, the tree-hugging title is held by the United Kingdom's Forestry Commission, which organized a gathering of 702 people hugging trees on Sept. 11, 2011 in Cheshire's Delamere Forest.

Next month, the Hoyt Arboretum and the Portland tree service Treecology will attempt to break that record. They're inviting one and all to hug trees at the arboretum July 20 from 2 to 4 pm.
Im guessing it was January 2007, a meeting in Bethesda, we got a bag of bees and just started smashing them on the desk, Charles Wick said. It was very complicated.


Count Chocula

  • Outlandish
  • ***
  • Posts: 3404
    • View Profile
Re: Oh, Oregon!
« Reply #24 on: June 15, 2013, 02:48:52 am »
I don't understand this place. Since when is acting weird considered cool? They're too fucking high to realize they're RETARDED WEIRDOS. Best thing is we are all laughing at them, except for the part where this kind of "outlandishness" is slowly turning our country into a bunch of pussies. OUTLANDISH PUSSIES

Mesozoic Mister Nigel

  • v=1/3πr2h
  • Deserved It
  • ****
  • Posts: 687093
  • The sky tastes like red exuberance.
    • View Profile
Re: Oh, Oregon!
« Reply #25 on: June 15, 2013, 05:19:39 am »
The only real benefit to it all is that there's just no real fucking point in trying to be outlandish. it has become impossible to be a special snowflake in this town unless you are genuinely so ridiculously talented that your work stands out on its own merit. I mean, seriously, fuck it. When everybody is working so hard at being eccentric, everything loses context. Two guys dressed as Yetis pass my house every week during the summer on their way to the park. Everybody tries not to make eye contact with the kilted bagpiping unicyclist. Fuck it, just whatever. I am not in some kind of weirdness competition, assholes.
Im guessing it was January 2007, a meeting in Bethesda, we got a bag of bees and just started smashing them on the desk, Charles Wick said. It was very complicated.


Roly Poly Oly-Garch

  • Deserved It
  • ****
  • Posts: 15811
  • "I DARE YOU"
    • View Profile
Re: Oh, Oregon!
« Reply #26 on: June 15, 2013, 06:07:10 am »
The only real benefit to it all is that there's just no real fucking point in trying to be outlandish. it has become impossible to be a special snowflake in this town unless you are genuinely so ridiculously talented that your work stands out on its own merit. I mean, seriously, fuck it. When everybody is working so hard at being eccentric, everything loses context. Two guys dressed as Yetis pass my house every week during the summer on their way to the park. Everybody tries not to make eye contact with the kilted bagpiping unicyclist. Fuck it, just whatever. I am not in some kind of weirdness competition, assholes.

The other benefit being that if you really do have an outlandish itch to scratch but you haven't because you're worried about the reaction--no need. Shit, I come from a place where your average worker outside the service industry (and even many places inside it) are forced to cover any visible tattoos. In the land of political furries on the other hand, if ya wanna do it...do it.
Back to the fecal matter in the pool

Mesozoic Mister Nigel

  • v=1/3πr2h
  • Deserved It
  • ****
  • Posts: 687093
  • The sky tastes like red exuberance.
    • View Profile
Re: Oh, Oregon!
« Reply #27 on: June 15, 2013, 06:54:59 am »
The only real benefit to it all is that there's just no real fucking point in trying to be outlandish. it has become impossible to be a special snowflake in this town unless you are genuinely so ridiculously talented that your work stands out on its own merit. I mean, seriously, fuck it. When everybody is working so hard at being eccentric, everything loses context. Two guys dressed as Yetis pass my house every week during the summer on their way to the park. Everybody tries not to make eye contact with the kilted bagpiping unicyclist. Fuck it, just whatever. I am not in some kind of weirdness competition, assholes.

The other benefit being that if you really do have an outlandish itch to scratch but you haven't because you're worried about the reaction--no need. Shit, I come from a place where your average worker outside the service industry (and even many places inside it) are forced to cover any visible tattoos. In the land of political furries on the other hand, if ya wanna do it...do it.

 :lulz: :lulz: :lulz: It is a great freedom, really.
Im guessing it was January 2007, a meeting in Bethesda, we got a bag of bees and just started smashing them on the desk, Charles Wick said. It was very complicated.


Telarus

  • Fictional Ego
  • Deserved It
  • ****
  • Posts: 12309
  • Ratcheting Metallic Sex Doll of The End Times
    • View Profile
Re: Oh, Oregon!
« Reply #28 on: June 15, 2013, 09:50:22 pm »
 :lulz: :lulz: :lulz:
Telarus, KSC,
.__.  Keeper of the Contradictory Cephalopod, Zenarchist Swordsman,
(0o)  Tender to the Edible Zen Garden, Ratcheting Metallic Sex Doll of The End Times,
/||\   Episkopos of the Amorphous Dreams Cabal

Join the Doll Underground! Experience the Phantasmagorical Safari!

East Coast Hustle

  • Missile Command
  • Deserved It
  • ****
  • Posts: 46213
  • Omnimalevolent Polyfather of Exsanguination in Red
    • View Profile
Re: Oh, Oregon!
« Reply #29 on: June 15, 2013, 09:53:23 pm »
I don't understand this place. Since when is acting weird considered cool? They're too fucking high to realize they're RETARDED WEIRDOS. Best thing is we are all laughing at them, except for the part where this kind of "outlandishness" is slowly turning our country into a bunch of pussies. OUTLANDISH PUSSIES

I don't know you from Adam, but if your avatar is an indication that you actually LIVE in Saco (or, god forbid, Biddo) then I don't really think you should be talking down to anyone for being from a particular city. :lulz:
Rabid Colostomy Hole Jammer of the Coming Apocalypse

The Devil is in the details; God is in the nuance.


Some yahoo yelled at me, saying 'GIVE ME LIBERTY OR GIVE ME DEATH', and I thought, "I'm feeling generous today.  Why not BOTH?"