Author Topic: The Pit, 5 parts  (Read 5389 times)

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Re: The Pit, 5 parts
« Reply #30 on: March 23, 2014, 06:14:41 am »
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Re: The Pit, 5 parts
« Reply #31 on: March 23, 2014, 01:37:37 pm »
I can't see where this is going, but I can feel something BIG looming in the background.

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Re: The Pit, 5 parts
« Reply #32 on: March 23, 2014, 01:54:29 pm »
It seems like a switch, where the narrator was stuck in events for the first two parts but is now being hinted at causing them himself. Very interesting.
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Re: The Pit, 5 parts
« Reply #33 on: April 01, 2014, 03:25:05 pm »
Part 4

"So", the general said, "You've lost him."

The two women just nodded.

"Look", he continued, "I'm not going to yell and make threats and all that horseshit, because I know you're already doing your best.  But I need results.  We need him out of there, and I am under a great deal of pressure, here.  So what I want you to do is take a step back, breathe a bit, and figure this out.  Comments?"

"Yes sir", said the curly-haired woman, "We know that he was attacked by 'zombies' and disappeared, but we know he isn't dead, because otherwise the century would have slammed shut.  But if he's alive, we should be able to see him like a 100 watt bulb in a coal mine."

"I know all this", the general said, "I get briefed by the same egg heads who brief you on this temporal wossname. He's found a way to go to ground.  You're going to need to find out what he's done and how, then drag him back upstream."

The other woman, the one with powerful build, smiled and cracked her knuckles.  "That will be a pleasure.  Believe me.  The bastard pointed his rifle at us."

"Right, then, dismissed."

The two women, colonels both, walked down the hall from the general's office.

"So, Janet", Rita said, "How the hell does a live man hide among the dead?"

The curly-haired woman gave her a look.  "How does a man stay in the last century?  How do we go after him?  None of this makes any sense, and it makes physicists cry into their iPads.  All I know is that they're being methodical and it isn't working.  Something makes me think this is a right brain thing."

Somewhen else

I guess I almost looked like the mummy from that old Boris Karloff film.  I was wrapped entirely in what probably looked like linen...Dressed to the nines in the blindfolds of people executed by firing squads.  That would serve to hold the bastards off for a while, at least until I could figure out what to do next.

I knew those women weren't part of the problem, of course, but I had to get away from them.  They THOUGHT they knew what was going on, but they were wrong.  Dead wrong.  This century is unique.  It is dangerous, it is evil, and it is angry that we have escaped it, that humanity has left it behind, remaining more or less human in the process.

And, if it were allowed to do so, it would reach up into the 21st, and drag us all back forever.  It damn near happened, back in April of 2003...When 20C reached into 21C and had Rumsfeld and Cheney try to restart global war.

And that can't be allowed to happen.

Okay, okay concentrate on the task at hand.  This fucking ladder.  It feels like it goes on forever, and fuck me if I know what's at the bottom of it.

To be continued.

Note:  Names have been changed for variety's sake.
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Re: The Pit, 5 parts
« Reply #34 on: April 01, 2014, 03:28:00 pm »
Damn, that's good.  "This century is unique.  It is dangerous, it is evil, and it is angry that we have escaped it, that humanity has left it behind, remaining more or less human in the process."

Sentient time.  Spooky as fuck.

The Good Reverend Roger

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Re: The Pit, 5 parts
« Reply #35 on: April 01, 2014, 03:28:43 pm »
Damn, that's good.  "This century is unique.  It is dangerous, it is evil, and it is angry that we have escaped it, that humanity has left it behind, remaining more or less human in the process."

Sentient time.  Spooky as fuck.

Close.  In fact, that's as good a working description as any.   :lulz:

" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

 "Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

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Re: The Pit, 5 parts
« Reply #36 on: April 02, 2014, 04:14:56 am »
The plot thickens...
“I’m guessing it was January 2007, a meeting in Bethesda, we got a bag of bees and just started smashing them on the desk,” Charles Wick said. “It was very complicated.”


The Good Reverend Roger

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Re: The Pit, 5 parts
« Reply #37 on: April 02, 2014, 03:30:32 pm »
Part 5

Rita and Janet walked out of the Pentagon, and into an unmarked delivery truck.  Janet got behind the wheel, and pulgged her GPS in.

"Why do you need that?", Rita asked, "We've been there how many times, now?"

"I don't know", Janet replied, "I get lost getting out of bed in the morning.  Getting across DC, I don't stand a chance."  She put the truck in gear and drove out of the parking lot, as Rita climbed out of her seat and into the back of the truck, where she pulled a uniform off a hanger.

"Aw, shit."

"What is it this time?", Janet asked.

"Goddamn WAC uniforms.  I hate these damn things."

"YOU hate 'em?  You've got the figure to get away with it.  Give me BDUs anyday."

"Quit talking yourself down.  Besides, these look terrible on anyone.", Rita groused, as she changed clothes. A few blocks later, they switched seats and Janet got dressed while Rita drove.

A few minutes later, they pulled up behind a boarded-up bar.  They went to the back door and knocked.  The door was answered by 2 marines in full kit.  They flashed their IDs, and walked in.  They stopped outside the lady's room door.

"Have I mentioned that I hate this shit?", Janet asked.

"You aren't the only one, sister.  This shit gives me the heebie jeebies, and I never get used to it."

"Well, no sense just standing here", Janet said, pushing the door open and walking in.

The bathroom itself was a disaster.  Chipped tile, a hopelessly stained set of commodes...Everything was a ruin, save for the mirror hanging on the wall above the sinks.  The two women moved in front of it, and stared at it.

The mirror began to fog, as always, and as always, dim figures could be glimpsed moving in that fog.  This was nothing new.

What was new was that a face suddenly clarified and stared right back at them.  The man was good looking, in a kind of Prussian way, with thinning blond hair and a pair of pale blue eyes that reflected nothing but cruelty.

"Good God", Rita said, "That's Reinhard Heydrich."

"Who?"

"The man that Goddamn Hitler called 'the man with the iron heart'."

"Well, ignore him.  We have work to do", Janet replied.

They touched the mirror and...

rotated

...Somewhere else.

Rita

Janet and I arrived in a cramped passageway in some sort of aircraft.  The engines were loud as hell, rattling our teeth.  It was very cold, even though the plane was obviously being heated to some degree.

We moved forward, and found ourselves in a bomb bay.  It contained a single bomb, an enormous thing with "Fat Man" written on the side.  My blood ran cold as I pointed at it.

"What's wrong?", Janet asked.  Couldn't fault her for it, I'm the historian here, she's the security.  Equally important skills, after all, and she doesn't ask me to fight.

"That bomb is what's wrong.  That's an atomic bomb.  It's the one that was dropped on Hiroshima."

"Is ABOUT to be dropped on Hiroshima", a familiar voice said from behind me, "In about 2 minutes."

To be continued.
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

 "Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

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Re: The Pit, 5 parts
« Reply #38 on: April 02, 2014, 03:48:37 pm »
My only criticism is that it's too short.



Moar, plz.

The Good Reverend Roger

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Re: The Pit, 5 parts
« Reply #39 on: April 02, 2014, 04:00:09 pm »
Part 6

Frank

The ladies were back.  This was becoming irritating.

The curly-haired one looked at me.  "How the hell did you get here?", she asked.

"I climbed down a ladder.  Don't ask me how these things work."

"Where is the crew of this plane?"

"There doesn't seem to be one, except the bombadier, up in the nose.  And he's flickering, so I advise you keep clear of him. I've come to associate that with some very bad things."

"Well, fine, but you have to get out of here.  You're coming with us."

I laughed, "No I'm not, lady.  Um, Colonel, I should say.  For one thing, I have no idea who you are.  For another thing, there's work to be done."  I grabbed a wrench and started turning the arming bolt on the bomb.

Just as I finished, though, both women drew pistols and pointed them at me.

"Yes, yes you are coming with us", said the muscular one...But just then, a low klaxon started sounding, and the bomb bay doors swung open.  We all grabbed onto whatever we could.  The curly-haired woman dropped her pistol, which slid across the floor and fell out of the bay.  The other woman kept ahold of hers, but she was in no position to aim it at me.

"30 seconds", said a voice over the intercom.  I could barely hear it through the howling wind; it was getting hard to breathe, and very, very cold.

I thumbed the intercom in front of me, and yelled, "BURN IT DOWN".

The clamps opened, and the bomb dropped.  The women were looking at me in horror.

"Relax", I yelled, as the bomb bay doors began cycling shut, "The city below us is empty."

"Then what the hell was the point of that?", the curly-haired woman yelled back.

"The forms have to be observed", I hollered back, "To keep this shit nailed down."

"What the hell are you even talking about?"

There was a blinding light behind us, and then a noise as big as the world.

"That's my cue, ladies", I said, and dropped feet first out of the almost-closed bomb bay.

Janet

"Jesus CHRIST!", Rita yelled as the bomb bay clicked shut, "He just fucking jumped!"

"Yeah, I saw that", I replied, "But we have bigger problems."  Indeed, we did.  The plane was beginning to drift into a starboard bank, obviously out of control.  I fished out the ridiculous compact that came with the uniform, and opened it.  Rita crowded up next to me, and we both stared into the mirror.  That Heydrich guy was there again, except we were looking at the back of his head.  But next to him was another man...Also in uniform, an antiquated blue US Army Air Corps uniform.

"Curtis LeMay", Rita said, but then...

rotate

To be continued.
 




 
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

 "Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

The Good Reverend Roger

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Re: The Pit, 5 parts
« Reply #40 on: April 02, 2014, 04:04:35 pm »
For those of you haven't had the pleasure, I give you Curtis LeMay:

"I think there are many times when it would be most efficient to use nuclear weapons. However, the public opinion in this country and throughout the world throw up their hands in horror when you mention nuclear weapons, just because of the propaganda that's been fed to them."
- General Curtis LeMay
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

 "Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

The Good Reverend Roger

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Re: The Pit, 5 parts
« Reply #41 on: April 02, 2014, 04:06:46 pm »
Also, there may appear to be 3 gigantic plot holes.  These are intentional, and will be made clear later.
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

 "Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

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Re: The Pit, 5 parts
« Reply #42 on: April 02, 2014, 04:12:28 pm »
It seems that the male protagonist is, essentially, doing historical maintenance.

The Good Reverend Roger

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Re: The Pit, 5 parts
« Reply #43 on: April 02, 2014, 04:18:43 pm »
It seems that the male protagonist is, essentially, doing historical maintenance.

Hadn't put that into words, even in my own head, but yes.
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

 "Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

LMNO

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Re: The Pit, 5 parts
« Reply #44 on: April 02, 2014, 04:22:12 pm »
By the time he gets to the Enola Gay, I picture his demeanor as "just going about his rounds."


If that makes any sense.