So, feel free to move this if you want Junkie, it's not entirely on topic but it's why I'm pissed.
probably triggers
I got skeeved on at my children's school the other day. One of the fathers said hi to me, and I said hi back, and went over to a bench near the edge of the school grounds to take a quick rest before walking home. The dad caught back up with me, we shook hands. He didn't let go at the appropriate time, which in hindsight should have been a red flag. He sat down next to me and put his arm behind my back. I moved away. We chatted for a bit about school and he said I had a pretty smile and I told him I was married. I made space between us. We kept talking. He said he liked my hair, and put his hand on my thigh like that's a thing you're allowed to do. And I just shoved his hand away without saying anything, like you would move a toddler's hand, because no matter how much of a good feminist you think you are there's a good chance your brain will go NOPE THIS ISN'T HAPPENING NOPE NOT GONNA REACT and it's not a scene and no one realizes anything's wrong until you talk about it even five seconds after you've escaped and it's OBVIOUSLY, OBJECTIVELY WRONG and it doesn't have to be an assault to be wrong. He said hi to me again the next day and thinks that nothing's wrong.
And the first round of outrage is that this is a thing people think they can do. That someone stomped all over my boundaries and smiled about it. It's a good, solid, fuck that guy rage. The second round of outrage is at myself, because no matter how many times you hear about these things it's not real until someone stomps on you, and I should know better, and I should be better, and I'm one of the lucky ones.
This is what being one of the lucky ones looks like. I only have two close friends who have been violently raped. I only had to literally throw one person off of me because "no" wasn't enough. I only get honked at every morning by the same guy I don't know in a black pickup truck. This is what lucky looks like in our culture. You have to see how fucked up that is.