Author Topic: Doing it Right: for guys who want to help the Rape Culture problem  (Read 2127 times)

The Good Reverend Roger

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Re: Doing it Right: for guys who want to help the Rape Culture problem
« Reply #15 on: June 10, 2014, 09:52:17 pm »
I expect a reward.  A slightly better world.

Like I've said before, it all boils down to "What kind of world do you want?"
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Re: Doing it Right: for guys who want to help the Rape Culture problem
« Reply #16 on: June 10, 2014, 09:58:11 pm »
I get that, what I guessing is that many expect a more direct and immediate personal reward. Then when it doesn't eventually spontaneously materialize in their own arbitrary timescale, problems can occur. This expectation seems to be a consistent factor in various situations and it just seemed worth raising. Like I said, tired and dumb, probably.
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Re: Doing it Right: for guys who want to help the Rape Culture problem
« Reply #17 on: June 10, 2014, 10:05:17 pm »
Junkie: you're dead right. A subset of men read advice like this as "how to get into pants" instead of "how to be a decent human and not part of the problem." That expectation is rooted in part in the "white male protagonist" problem, where guys expect to be treated like the protagonist of the movie, complete with roadmap, dedicated supporting cast, and female companionship as a reward.
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Re: Doing it Right: for guys who want to help the Rape Culture problem
« Reply #18 on: June 11, 2014, 12:15:32 am »
What do you guys think of the group Men Can Stop Rape and their emphasis on bystander intervention?

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Re: Doing it Right: for guys who want to help the Rape Culture problem
« Reply #19 on: June 11, 2014, 12:23:55 am »
What do you guys think of the group Men Can Stop Rape and their emphasis on bystander intervention?

I've looked over their website before and I think they're doing good work. Their examples of interventions seem largely aimed at an audience of college-age men, but I think they're useful for older people too, and I can understand why they're focusing on younger men because they're easier to change.
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Re: Doing it Right: for guys who want to help the Rape Culture problem
« Reply #20 on: June 11, 2014, 12:32:20 am »
QG - There's something kicking around in my head along the lines of "don't expect a reward". Acting in these ways (Basic fucking manners,largely) is what you do because if nothing else it's surely how you would wish to be treated?

I suspect there's an uncomfortable number of people who would equate following 1-6 with eventually meaning that they are entitled to sex/attention/whatever but then not magically getting it. Then you're possibly veering into the nastier origins of the nice guy with added cognitive dissonance?

If the above reads like nonsense, it probably is. I'm tired and bad at these threads.

No, this makes a lot of sense and I think you're right, there's a proportion of guys who will think of it that way, and it's that exact mentality that leads to the "Nice Guy".
“I’m guessing it was January 2007, a meeting in Bethesda, we got a bag of bees and just started smashing them on the desk,” Charles Wick said. “It was very complicated.”


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Re: Doing it Right: for guys who want to help the Rape Culture problem
« Reply #21 on: June 11, 2014, 12:44:28 am »
What do you guys think of the group Men Can Stop Rape and their emphasis on bystander intervention?

I've looked over their website before and I think they're doing good work. Their examples of interventions seem largely aimed at an audience of college-age men, but I think they're useful for older people too, and I can understand why they're focusing on younger men because they're easier to change.

Cool, my impression was that they're doing legit work, but the amount of selling stuff on their site gave me pause.

I've been trying to find the article I read that turned me onto them (as it references a specific college that has been heavily using their bystander intervention strategy, getting apparently solid results after a number of years). Can't find the damn article now...

I'd also like to add more but my feels and behavior have been completely out of whack all day today, and I don't know why. :( So I'm backing out of this thread before I can fuck anything else up.
« Last Edit: June 11, 2014, 01:00:33 am by Net (+1 Hidden) and 5 guests »
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Re: Doing it Right: for guys who want to help the Rape Culture problem
« Reply #22 on: June 11, 2014, 02:19:47 pm »
I expect a reward.  A slightly better world.

Like I've said before, it all boils down to "What kind of world do you want?"

This! Kind of like when a doctor operates on someone. His reward is one less person dead.
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Re: Doing it Right: for guys who want to help the Rape Culture problem
« Reply #23 on: June 11, 2014, 04:01:38 pm »
Well, that and a six figure income :lulz:
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Re: Doing it Right: for guys who want to help the Rape Culture problem
« Reply #24 on: June 11, 2014, 05:14:10 pm »
Well, that and a six figure income :lulz:

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Re: Doing it Right: for guys who want to help the Rape Culture problem
« Reply #25 on: June 11, 2014, 06:32:35 pm »
Seriously, tho, - P3nT being a dick - aside, Roger's point is solid. The only world I got is the one I can see. It's mine and I want it just so - no fuckheads allowed.
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Re: Doing it Right: for guys who want to help the Rape Culture problem
« Reply #26 on: June 11, 2014, 10:29:56 pm »
Deleted because i realised i was posting without thinking (also, slightly alcoholized).

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