Author Topic: How many people are Addicted to Forums.  (Read 4672 times)

Dr. Cow Ass

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How many people are Addicted to Forums.
« on: September 05, 2014, 07:26:13 am »
Real question, what if your online identity is your identity. Am I guilty of this myself, probably.

It's so much easier to be interesting online, especially in forums. You can meet lots of amazing people that you'll never meet.

We just drink and smoke and snort and get interesting. It's real easy that way.

Unless there's a group of serious underground, action-oriented discordians that I haven't come across. But really, we just have our fun online, and it's fun, because it AIN'T REAL.

Well fuck me, I've been drinking again. So I'm back here.   



I bring the Spicy.

Dr. Cow Ass

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Re: How many people are Addicted to Forums.
« Reply #1 on: September 05, 2014, 07:30:21 am »
Btw, if there is, then fuck the underground, action-oriented discordians. Compassion and Work is way fuckin harder than fun. Fun is Easy. So is moral relativism... easier than Work, that is.
I bring the Spicy.

Hoopla

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Re: How many people are Addicted to Forums.
« Reply #2 on: September 05, 2014, 10:20:20 am »
You may find yourself interesting online, but the results are less convincing on my side of the monitor.
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LMNO

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Re: How many people are Addicted to Forums.
« Reply #3 on: September 05, 2014, 11:41:55 am »

The Good Reverend Roger

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Re: How many people are Addicted to Forums.
« Reply #4 on: September 05, 2014, 02:09:44 pm »


Well fuck me, I've been drinking again. So I'm back here.

We already had a racist this year.
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Cainad (dec.)

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Re: How many people are Addicted to Forums.
« Reply #5 on: September 05, 2014, 02:21:09 pm »
You may find yourself interesting online, but the results are less convincing on my side of the monitor.

Beat me to it :lulz:

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Re: How many people are Addicted to Forums.
« Reply #6 on: September 05, 2014, 02:29:18 pm »


Well fuck me, I've been drinking again. So I'm back here.

We already had a racist this year.

A racist? I could have sworn we'd had more than half a dozen this year. I may be mistaking racists for crazy people.
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The Good Reverend Roger

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Re: How many people are Addicted to Forums.
« Reply #7 on: September 05, 2014, 03:53:52 pm »


Well fuck me, I've been drinking again. So I'm back here.

We already had a racist this year.

A racist? I could have sworn we'd had more than half a dozen this year. I may be mistaking racists for crazy people.

Cowass is the genuine article.
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

 "Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

Mesozoic Mister Nigel

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Re: How many people are Addicted to Forums.
« Reply #8 on: September 05, 2014, 04:54:36 pm »
You may find yourself interesting online, but the results are less convincing on my side of the monitor.

 :lol: This.
“I’m guessing it was January 2007, a meeting in Bethesda, we got a bag of bees and just started smashing them on the desk,” Charles Wick said. “It was very complicated.”


Mesozoic Mister Nigel

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Re: How many people are Addicted to Forums.
« Reply #9 on: September 05, 2014, 04:56:01 pm »
The funny thing is that if you actually ARE interesting online, you can end up meeting people and having all kinds of IRL fun. Which, if you are smart, you won't run your mouth about when you get back online.  :lol:
“I’m guessing it was January 2007, a meeting in Bethesda, we got a bag of bees and just started smashing them on the desk,” Charles Wick said. “It was very complicated.”


Eater of Clowns

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Re: How many people are Addicted to Forums.
« Reply #10 on: September 05, 2014, 05:03:03 pm »
7.
EoC, you are the bane of my existence.

EoC doesn't make creepy.

EoC makes creepy worse.

Quote
the afflicted persons get hold of and consume carrots even in socially quite unacceptable situations.

Cain

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Re: How many people are Addicted to Forums.
« Reply #11 on: September 05, 2014, 07:13:40 pm »
Jesus Christ, are you still butthurt?

How many people are addicted to passive-aggressive online nonsense under the guise of "just thinking out loud"?  At least one, I'd guess.

Mesozoic Mister Nigel

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Re: How many people are Addicted to Forums.
« Reply #12 on: September 05, 2014, 07:16:43 pm »
Jesus Christ, are you still butthurt?

How many people are addicted to passive-aggressive online nonsense under the guise of "just thinking out loud"?  At least one, I'd guess.

 :lulz:
“I’m guessing it was January 2007, a meeting in Bethesda, we got a bag of bees and just started smashing them on the desk,” Charles Wick said. “It was very complicated.”


N E T

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Re: How many people are Addicted to Forums.
« Reply #13 on: September 06, 2014, 06:24:43 am »
I was butthurt for years. My asshole was inexplicably and incredibly irritated no matter what I did. Hypoallergenic everything. Cotton underpants. Jamming a giant dildo all up in there. Cutting out the spicy food. Taking medication for intestinal parasites. Having a nurse show me where my prostate is. Showers. Baths. No bathing period. It was fucked up man.

Everywhere I would go, my butthole taunted me. You can't itch it in public but you can scratch your buttcheek in a way that causes friction on your shithole—an art that I mastered very quickly. On an near autonomic level, I would smear my buttcheeks against the chair in a twitch of rage, my face slightly flushing in extreme restrained horror. Did someone see that? Can other people decode these surreptitious anal paroxysms? I became suspicious of anyone shifting a little too vigorously in their seat.

I started having fantasies of being in the passenger seat of a car doing 60 on a gravel road, opening the car door, and dragging my bare anus against the ground. I stopped trusting myself around power sanders. Rose bushes and their long straight stems full of thorns beckoned me. Maybe I could just murder it with a large bore power drill and get a prosthetic anus installed.

I went to a Vipassana meditation retreat for a week where you had to sit still on your ass for hours and hours and hours every day. The first day I wanted to violently attack every human being in my vicinity. Look at those shits, sitting peacefully on their stupid fucking meditation pillows. They have no idea I'm a raging nutcase barely holding on to my stillness by half an ass hair. By day two, I was hallucinating. By day three, I received waking visions of a rusted, filthy ten foot diameter pipe expelling fish at total capacity, but the pipe turned into an laughing Asian man's anus, still excreting the same volume of fish. After the last day, I told everyone I hated them and I went home.

Then, for no apparent reason, I was fine. I have no idea when exactly or why it went away. It was like it never happened. All this time I thought I'd be shitting out a gigantic, mutant tapeworm, snapping at my buttcheeks, thrashing in the toilet water. But instead, it just vanished, just as mysteriously as it arrived.
« Last Edit: September 06, 2014, 06:28:54 am by N E T »
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Cain

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Re: How many people are Addicted to Forums.
« Reply #14 on: September 06, 2014, 06:37:19 am »
That's begging to be the opening chapter of a novel.  In fact, if you could sustain that, an entire literary novel on the theme of butthurt would probably sell really fucking well.