Hi, new person.
Okay, first of all, you can ignore everything said so far in this thread. Every last one of these people is a known apostate and is in fact only here because they heard about the prize money for the Best Discordian award ten years ago and they're still looking for it.
I, on the other hand, am a certified and ordained Discordian Minister. And I can tell you that being a Discordian is a long and arduous journey full of pitfalls, false starts, bad information, hokey TV reruns, boring jokes, and yes, lots and lots of drugs.
The first thing you should do if you really want to succeed on this forum or anywhere in life is to find an opinion somewhere and belligerently argue against it. It doesn't matter if you're an expert or not. Everyone can be an expert in anything. All it takes is sincere belief and thick skin.
Second, you should do lots of drugs and tell us about your experiences on them. Try to use common words like "colorful" and "trippy". Don't connect your experience to the real world in any way, though. We are nothing if not disinterested in current events and ideas.
Third, and this is probably the most important objective, is to constantly talk in meaningless riddles and koans. Phrase every post as a haiku of you can manage it. Whenever you see someone being too serious, remind them of the Discordian imperative to be silly all the time.
By doing these things you will learn very quickly what Discordianism is all about, I promise.
