Author Topic: Burritos  (Read 1514 times)

Dubya

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Burritos
« on: May 10, 2015, 12:51:00 am »
Couldn't help myself. There was an old lady who sold burritos off a cart outside my apartment building when I lived in Juarez. This foulmouthed crone served up some of the best food I ever had.

The Burrito Lady's Super Secret Breakfast Burrito Recipe

1 pack flour tortillas
1 pkg pork chorizo
1 jalapeño
6-8 eggs
1 lb Oaxaca cheese (mozzarella works if you can't get Oaxaca)
1 bottle Dos Equis

Grate cheese.
Remove chorizo from casing and fry.
When chorizo has degenerated into a sloppy mess, open Dos Equis.
Sip Dos Equis. After five minutes or half a bottle, stir chorizo, lower heat and add eggs.
Scramble eggs into chorizo. Chop jalapeño.
Increase heat and stir in cheese and jalapeño.
Stir until the aroma drives you insane with gluttony.
Remove from heat, warm tortillas, wrap mixture in them and glory in the awesomeness.
Also, drink the other half of the Dos Equis.
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LMNO

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Re: Burritos
« Reply #1 on: May 10, 2015, 05:00:58 am »
Yes.  Also, "have access to authentic chorizo."

Dubya

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Re: Burritos
« Reply #2 on: May 11, 2015, 12:40:45 am »
You mean there are actually places where you can't find chorizo?

I guess I figured if it can be found out here in the wastelands of Iowa, it must be universally available.

For those poor bastards who can't find it locally - mexicanchorizoproducts.com.

Because it's that good.
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LMNO

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Re: Burritos
« Reply #3 on: May 11, 2015, 01:07:25 am »
Although I do have access, I'm trying to learn how to make it at home.

Dubya

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Re: Burritos
« Reply #4 on: May 11, 2015, 02:47:37 am »
That may be thé most awesome thing I've read today.

Also,

Ridiculously Easy Beef and Bean Burritos

1 lb hamburger (70/30 for purists)
1 white onion
1 tsp minced garlic
Cumin and jalapeño and salt to taste
1 can refried beans
1 pkg flour tortillas

Fry burger, half the onion, garlic and spices. When burger is done, add beans.
Cook until mixture is hot. Remove from heat, glob onto tortillas and eat.

EDIT - forgot to mention, chop the remaining onion into mixture for added piqaunce
Garnishes such as cheese, salsa, sour cream and/or lager to taste.
« Last Edit: May 11, 2015, 02:53:05 am by Dubya »
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Mesozoic Mister Nigel

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Re: Burritos
« Reply #5 on: May 11, 2015, 03:32:43 am »
Jalapenos basically make everything awesome.
“I’m guessing it was January 2007, a meeting in Bethesda, we got a bag of bees and just started smashing them on the desk,” Charles Wick said. “It was very complicated.”


Dubya

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Re: Burritos
« Reply #6 on: May 11, 2015, 07:04:36 am »
Yup. Jalapeños, greasy meat of some sort, cheese and carbs of some sort will almost always come out delicious.

Itll kill you eventually, of course, but it's worth it. Sort of like smoking, driving, drinking or watching Fox News.
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Dubya

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Re: Burritos
« Reply #7 on: May 16, 2015, 11:53:08 pm »
Also:

Chile Colorado

1 pork roast (your choice, but cheaper is actually tastier here)
2 bell peppers
2 green chilies (bonus flavor points if you can get Hatch chiles)
1 white onion
1 bulb garlic
Oregano
Cilantro
Basil
Rosemary
Salt
Pepper

Roast the roast. Im lazy, so I prefer a Crock pot for this. If you prefer, it can be done in the oven or even boiled in a big-ass stock pot with the spices.

Once the roast is done, chop the peppers, onion and garlic

Now toss that stuff in there with the roast

Simmer until the peppers are tender or the smell makes you consider cannibalism.

Shred the roast. Spoon this nectar of the gods onto warm flour tortillas.

Consider whether you are worthy of the culinary blessing about to befall you.

Eat anyway.
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Freeky

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Re: Burritos
« Reply #8 on: May 17, 2015, 05:56:59 am »
I think I like this guy.
If someone does the “Fine, you’re right, I’m clearly a terrible person, I’m Satan, I’m the worst person alive, I should just die” thing in response to criticism of their harmful behavior, they are trying to manipulate people and flip the situation around so that they look like a victim.

As a neuroscientist I have to disagree with the perception that anyone is doing mathematical modeling of cognitive intelligence, yet; intelligence as an economist defines it, yes, but economists are worlds away from actual cognition.


Although it is outside the purview of this organization to offer personal advice, we can say -- without assuming any liability -- that previous experience indicates (and recent market studies corroborate) that given the present condition of the marketplace, continuing with your present course of action is likely to result in substantial in

Dubya

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Re: Burritos
« Reply #9 on: May 17, 2015, 11:17:08 pm »
 :thanks:

I'll be here until my phone breaks or the guys in the lab coats show up.

Don't try the veal, its overrated.
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