Author Topic: Miss Manners' Guide to Suicide and Self Harm  (Read 2618 times)

Q. G. Pennyworth

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Miss Manners' Guide to Suicide and Self Harm
« on: November 14, 2015, 05:46:29 pm »
One should never carve the name of a person into one's flesh. If you feel the need to carve the name of your crush into yourself, remember that the object of your desire likely will not take this as a compliment, and will in fact most likely become less inclined to engage in a romantic relationship with you, further exacerbating your situation. Carving the name of a celebrity into yourself likewise will not result in positive feedback, as you will actually be harming the celebrity's public relations by feeding the myth that their fans are senseless attention seekers. Don't do that.

One should never commit "suicide by cop." No matter what your opinions are of the police, they are still human. Officers who kill suspects often suffer mental health issues as a result, especially in cases where the death could have been avoided. Additionally, any resources devoted to the confrontation with you and the aftermath will not be available for other emergencies in your area.

One should never commit suicide by traffic accident. As a personal anecdote, a close family friend suffers from a traumatic brain injury to this day because someone decided to commit suicide by ramming his car into hers. Don't be that guy.

One should never commit self-harm with kitchen implements. Those are used for food. Nobody wants to eat traces of you. Nobody you should be hanging out with, anyway.
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Q. G. Pennyworth

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Re: Miss Manners' Guide to Suicide and Self Harm
« Reply #1 on: November 14, 2015, 05:49:53 pm »
The idea is to create a pamphlet that has nothing but reasons why it's impolite to do this shit. Not morally wrong, not shaming people for thinking of things, just like "you put the salad fork in the wrong place" improper. Just grind down the destructive impulses with even-toned, insistent politeness. And to end it with polite guidelines on when and how to seek assistance.
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Cainad (dec.)

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Re: Miss Manners' Guide to Suicide and Self Harm
« Reply #2 on: November 14, 2015, 05:55:08 pm »
That's pretty good. Kinda dark, but good.

Mesozoic Mister Nigel

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Re: Miss Manners' Guide to Suicide and Self Harm
« Reply #3 on: November 14, 2015, 06:27:19 pm »
I like it.
Im guessing it was January 2007, a meeting in Bethesda, we got a bag of bees and just started smashing them on the desk, Charles Wick said. It was very complicated.


The Wizard Joseph

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Re: Miss Manners' Guide to Suicide and Self Harm
« Reply #4 on: November 15, 2015, 02:43:31 am »
Yeah, this is good. There was a time somewhere in my very early teens when thinking about how it would hurt certain friends and burden my family literally kept me from what would have been a likely successful attempt. This is dark humor used to display the absurdities of suicide. I dig it!
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Q. G. Pennyworth

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Re: Miss Manners' Guide to Suicide and Self Harm
« Reply #5 on: November 15, 2015, 03:11:27 am »
One should never commit suicide in such a manner that there will be a mess to clean up afterwards. This includes messy suicide methods such as firearms, falls from high places, and severing arteries. Always fast for at least 24 hours before a suicide attempt to avoid unsanitary bowel voiding at the time of death.

One should never commit suicide in a public place. The moment of death is often a traumatic thing for onlookers, and you should not impose upon them.

One should never commit suicide in a place where children are likely to discover one's body. Death is a difficult subject for children to come to terms with, and it's best handled within the family, not by stumbling upon the corpse of a stranger.

One should never commit suicide in a hotel room. In addition to the unpleasantness of reporting your death and cleaning the room, remember that the hotelier will inevitably need to rent that room out again to another visitor. Even if future guests are unaware of your demise, it is deeply uncomfortable for most to occupy the space where a suicide occurred. Consider their comfort as you make your plans.
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The Wizard Joseph

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Re: Miss Manners' Guide to Suicide and Self Harm
« Reply #6 on: November 15, 2015, 03:19:33 am »
The combination of suicide and polite, practical mindfulness of social concerns is giving this a distinct Japanese feel to it for me. Hmmm.....
You can't get out backward.  You have to go forward to go back.. better press on! - Willie Wonka, PBUH

Life can be seen as a game with no reset button, no extra lives, and if the power goes out there is no restarting.  If that's all you see life as you are not long for this world, and never will get it.

"Ayn Rand never swung a hammer in her life and had serious dominance issues" - The Fountainhead

"World domination is such an ugly phrase. I prefer to call it world optimisation."
 - Harry Potter and the Methods of Rationality :lulz:

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Re: Miss Manners' Guide to Suicide and Self Harm
« Reply #7 on: November 15, 2015, 06:49:42 pm »
Taken to its logical conclusion, I fear the perfect, respectful, polite way of killing oneself will eventually be discovered. Watch your step, y'all.

Mesozoic Mister Nigel

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Re: Miss Manners' Guide to Suicide and Self Harm
« Reply #8 on: November 15, 2015, 07:08:39 pm »
Taken to its logical conclusion, I fear the perfect, respectful, polite way of killing oneself will eventually be discovered. Watch your step, y'all.

It has already been found, and is legal in Oregon. You just have to have a qualifying terminal illness.
 
Im guessing it was January 2007, a meeting in Bethesda, we got a bag of bees and just started smashing them on the desk, Charles Wick said. It was very complicated.


Q. G. Pennyworth

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Re: Miss Manners' Guide to Suicide and Self Harm
« Reply #9 on: November 16, 2015, 01:08:48 pm »
Taken to its logical conclusion, I fear the perfect, respectful, polite way of killing oneself will eventually be discovered. Watch your step, y'all.

Informing others of your plans and attempting to resolve the situation through not killing yourself are going to be on the list, too, just haven't hammered down the wording yet. Also a shit ton of "when it is polite and appropriate to go to the ER/call a hotline."
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Mesozoic Mister Nigel

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Re: Miss Manners' Guide to Suicide and Self Harm
« Reply #10 on: November 16, 2015, 03:14:27 pm »
I think this will be appreciated at least to some degree among the self-harmers who are not a real suicide risk. Among people who are a real suicide risk, it won't, but it also probably wont do any harm.
Im guessing it was January 2007, a meeting in Bethesda, we got a bag of bees and just started smashing them on the desk, Charles Wick said. It was very complicated.


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Re: Miss Manners' Guide to Suicide and Self Harm
« Reply #11 on: November 18, 2015, 11:26:57 pm »
I know at least one person who I could see stepping back from the brink because of this.  The combination of suicidal and extremely concerned with the effects of one's actions on others may not be common but it definitely eixsts.

Prelate Diogenes Shandor

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Re: Miss Manners' Guide to Suicide and Self Harm
« Reply #12 on: February 08, 2016, 01:50:53 am »
This is great!
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Max Blyss

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Re: Miss Manners' Guide to Suicide and Self Harm
« Reply #13 on: March 17, 2016, 02:19:10 pm »
Very nice.
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