Author Topic: Say Roger, have you heard about the Brain Weasels?  (Read 1357 times)

SuuCal

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Say Roger, have you heard about the Brain Weasels?
« on: August 22, 2016, 03:30:41 am »
You know, the Brain Weasels.

The motherfucking rodents that slither around your brain pan, looking for new wires to chew on. Usually, they like to knock the hamster off the wheel, and then just dry hump the wheel until it's covered in rust. And then you sit there, on the couch, crying and laughing and wanting to kill a motherfucker at the same time.  I got a bad case of the Brain Weasels.

Husband says I'll be alright, but I should just relax, but keep myself busy.
Doctor says I'll be alright, just take the pills.

But the pills won't kill the weasels, just make them sleep, you know? They'll find a corner to nest in, and make more weasels for the next round. They'll find new wires to gnaw through then, and skullfuck another poor hamster to death. Hamsters don't breed as fast as the weasels, and the weasels don't run the same as as the hamsters do on the wheel.

How do you stop the weasels, Roger? How do you get these little vermin to quit fucking chewin' on the power cables?
Sovereign Episkopos-Princess Kaousuu; Esq., Battle Nun, Bene Gesserit.
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The Good Reverend Roger

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Re: Say Roger, have you heard about the Brain Weasels?
« Reply #1 on: August 22, 2016, 03:41:21 am »

How do you stop the weasels, Roger? How do you get these little vermin to quit fucking chewin' on the power cables?

By laughing at the misfortunes of assholes.

Seriously, every time I feel inadequate or down, I watch Donald Trump clips, or read facebook posts by Jill Stein ex-berners.  You know the type:  "BERNIE OR BUST OR MAYBE JILL STEIN", followed by some rambling shit about how they've put little Sierra on a delayed vaccine schedule.  Because polio doesn't pick on 3 year olds.

Primates feel better when they can dump on other primates really hard.  And it's ETHICAL, if the people you are dumping on were assholes before you dumped on them.  You are both punishing them for being shitbags AND making yourself feel better.

Now, some might argue that dumping on other people just because they're stupid, bigoted arse biscuits is itself a sign of being a jerk.  Those people might be right, but to me it's kinda like saying that it was immoral to bomb Nazis back in the day.  It's substituting moral cowardice for a moral code, and thus puts the person complaining into the arse biscuit catagory.

This sort of loop guarantees that I'm never unhappy for very long.
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SuuCal

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Re: Say Roger, have you heard about the Brain Weasels?
« Reply #2 on: August 22, 2016, 07:09:23 am »
There's no room in the world for the Self-Righteous. You and I both know that.

"DON'T BODYSHAME TRUMP!"

Why? He's already proven to be a troglodyte. You want me to not make fun of the statuesque micropenis of a man who has openly shamed women for not meeting his ideal? I think not.

Meanwhile, I'm going to tell my dad that polio doesn't pick on 3 year olds. He'll be interested to know that, considering he caught it when he was 8 months old or something or other. You know, back in the fucking dark ages, the 1950s, where all the Republicans and anti-vaxxers want to be. It makes me want to start an amusement park, "1950sland!"

We'll have Buddy Holly and Howdy Doody playing on old tube TVs and radios on repeat in every corner of the park. Women can find themselves taking opiates to avoid feeling anything when their husband beats them for not doing the dishes before they came home from work. And at the soda fountain, everybody sits around, and asks how darling Johnny and Jane are doing in the hospital. Johnny has polio, and Jane had the measles so badly it made her go blind. But we don't have time to science, there's commies around every corner. Perhaps we can have a shooting gallery: cork guns blasting the targets off the heads of multiple Malenkovs and Khrushchevs. At least the Russians aren't black.

 :dream:

I feel better already.
Sovereign Episkopos-Princess Kaousuu; Esq., Battle Nun, Bene Gesserit.
Our Lady of Perpetual Confusion; 1st Church of Discordia

"Add a dab of lavender to milk, leave town with an orange, and pretend you're laughing at it."