Author Topic: DON'T LISTEN TO THESE PEOPLE - THEY ARE BAD FOR YOU!  (Read 1812 times)

trix

  • Chevy Caprice Trunk Inspector, Dead Hooker Department™
  • Outlandish
  • ***
  • Posts: 13538
  • I GIGGLE WHEN I SHOULD CRY
    • View Profile
DON'T LISTEN TO THESE PEOPLE - THEY ARE BAD FOR YOU!
« on: September 24, 2016, 07:52:49 am »
DON'T LISTEN TO THESE PEOPLE - THEY ARE BAD FOR YOU!

Ok, I know they talk a serious (or at least, hilarious) game.  I get that much of what they say can be very enticing.  This is the BAIT they are using to lure you in, you sucker.

What you are missing is that NONE OF THESE PEOPLE HAVE YOUR BEST INTEREST IN MIND.  NONE.  Even when they say they do.  Why would you ever believe a Discordian???

Think about it.  I've read hundreds upon hundreds of threads here over the last few years and have realized these folks at PD are a BIG FUCKING THREAT.  The more you read, the more you learn, the more you let them dose your mind with the literary LSD they carefully package in a deliciously spicy blend of hilarity and WTF, you LOSE PEICES OF YOURSELF.

Everything you are trying to accomplish in your life, ALL OF IT, is THREATENED by each word you read in this place.  They are KILLING YOU.  You work your fucking ass off ALL DAY LONG, day after day after DAY, to afford your comfortable place, your nice clothes, your big screen TV with 10,000 channels and Netflix, your XBOX420 and your virtual reality headset and your motion-activated plastic fish that sings and your collection of whatever-the-fuck-you-collect.  These are NICE THINGS.  You get to come home after a hard day and relax and turn off your brain (or keep it off, if you work the type of job that most of us do).  You get to watch your shows and put your feet up and relax for the short spurt before going to bed.  Nice.

But then one day while wasting some time online you come across something that's pretty funny, pretty interesting, and you look more into it.  You read more of it.  Over time, you start to find yourself agreeing with things you never thought you would.  You start to see the Truth in what they are saying and the Bullshit you are surrounded by.  The Bullshit you surround yourSELF with.  That you trick yourself with.

That's when they GOT YOU.

At first it's only a mild annoyance, in the back of your mind.  Something you read, in one of those many rants, sticks out in your mind a bit more than most.  You start seeing things a little differently.  Your priority shifts ever so slightly.  Your shows start to seem unusually boring, repetitive, and insidious.  You start to notice spiders.  Shadows and spiders.  You start to notice pills.  You start to notice all manner of uncomfortable realities that were always there but invisible.

One day you realize you are no longer comfortable.  No longer satisfied.  You feel abused, manipulated, and surrounded by cons.  CONS.  All sorts of them.  From low level stupid cons you really should have noticed before, to epic, masterful cons that had to have taken massive teams of amazingly skilled con-artists to create.  Suddenly, it's hard to breathe.

So you go back to the place that did this to you and search for an explanation.  Instead, you realize they find it FUNNY.  They are LAUGHING AT YOU.

Eris likes it when you are uncomfortable.  Her Discordians like it too.  That's what you missed.  That's what you didn't see until it was TOO LATE.  But it IS too late.  Now there's only one direction left that you can really go... DEEPER.

So you read more and more, hoping for a weakness, an achilles heel to this insidious mind-control they've pulled on you with LAZ0RS and FNORDS.  You laugh at the jokes along the way, and the noobs that are starting down the path you are now too far down to turn back.  You laugh at the noobs that don't get it, and can't even see the path is there.  You even start to laugh at your own foolishness, in being so comfortable in the first place.  After all, you were surrounded by spiders and didn't even know it.

That's when they GOT YOU AGAIN.

You laugh, and you laugh.  You start making your own jokes.  You start making your own posts.  You even start showing some noobs the path markers they keep missing, all the while laughing at them too for being such utter fools.  Laughing WITH the other Discordians, because you are fully one of them now.

"NO WAY" you say, "I can see the joke, sure, but I'm NOTHING LIKE THE REST OF THEM."

Sure, numbnuts, you're not like them at all.  But neither are THEY.  That's what drew your attention to begin with!  That's how they GOT YOU.  A singular point of view gets BORING.  These are CHAOS people you are dealing with.  They destroy your LIFE, laugh at you for it, then keep laughing until you get the joke and laugh too.

Discordia is not a cult, nor a religion.

Discordia is a journey that comes in many stages.  How many exactly varies person to person.

It's a fucking hidden trap door in your COUCH, and while you sit there watching some corporate approved "rebellious" TV show suddenly the trap door springs open and you fall into an alternate dimension full of spiders and horrors and the couch is coated in SUPERGLUE and the TV only shows some hypnotic white noise that's DAMN hard to look away from and the snack you were mindlessly munching on is now MUD.

It's a fucking combination of every itchy as fuck sweater every grandma ever made into one lumpy fuck of a body suit and duct-taped around your entire naked body.  Every time you so much as turn your head to look at ANYTHING it's all ITCH ITCH ITCH BURN BURN BURN.

Doesn't sound fun or funny, does it?

That's because you're not yet ready to get the joke.

If you would rather stay in the Matrix and eat steak, this is your last chance.

GET THE FUCK OUT NOW.  DISCORDIA IS BAD FOR YOU.

You have been warned.

(This post has not been proof-read, re-read, or even read for the first time.)
(Yup, that means you didn't read it either.  Fucking LSD)

 - trix
There's good news tonight.  And bad news.  First, the bad news: there is no good news.  Now, the good news: you don't have to listen to the bad news.
Zen Without Zen Masters

Quote from: Cain
Gender is a social construct.  As society, we get to choose your gender.

trix

  • Chevy Caprice Trunk Inspector, Dead Hooker Department™
  • Outlandish
  • ***
  • Posts: 13538
  • I GIGGLE WHEN I SHOULD CRY
    • View Profile
Re: DON'T LISTEN TO THESE PEOPLE - THEY ARE BAD FOR YOU!
« Reply #1 on: September 24, 2016, 08:03:26 am »
In all honesty I sometimes wonder if I should have taken the BLUE pill.

I suppose I still could, but the effect would be watered down severely.  I will never be fully comfortable again.

You've all destroyed me.  The guy that came here ranting stupid bullshit under the name "trix" is DEAD.

Fucking dead.

They don't tell you the red pill will fucking kill you.

Now I'm walking around with the name "trix" and am both nostalgic for, and nauseated by, the dead guy formerly known as me.  That ignorant, blissful fuck.

On the bright side, the whole thing is pretty funny.
There's good news tonight.  And bad news.  First, the bad news: there is no good news.  Now, the good news: you don't have to listen to the bad news.
Zen Without Zen Masters

Quote from: Cain
Gender is a social construct.  As society, we get to choose your gender.

trix

  • Chevy Caprice Trunk Inspector, Dead Hooker Department™
  • Outlandish
  • ***
  • Posts: 13538
  • I GIGGLE WHEN I SHOULD CRY
    • View Profile
Re: DON'T LISTEN TO THESE PEOPLE - THEY ARE BAD FOR YOU!
« Reply #2 on: September 24, 2016, 08:21:02 am »
I used to think I was weird.  I used to amuse people with my weirdness by acting... weird.

Now I have to try really hard to act normal or people start to get afraid of me.

I used to think I was EDGY.  I used to say random controversial things to appear socially confident.

Now I avoid people who do this to be outlandish, and instead carefully watch the NORMALS for the one secretly replacing the Christian pamphlets with ones containing nude male models.

I used to think I was REBELLIOUS.  I used to shop at REBELLIOUS chain stores and watch REBELLIOUS TV and take all the REBELLIOUS PILLS they gave me and parrot the REBELLIOUS memes and opinions fed to me by the REBELLIOUS marketing campaigns.

Now I try my best to look straight edged, so that nobody looks at me when the customers come back asking why our marketing emails begin with "Dear Mr. or Mrs. Fuckwad," and get progressively worse from there.

I used to think I was ALIVE.

Now I die every few months just to laugh at the last jackass that used my name but hadn't learned SHIT.  That fucking moron.
There's good news tonight.  And bad news.  First, the bad news: there is no good news.  Now, the good news: you don't have to listen to the bad news.
Zen Without Zen Masters

Quote from: Cain
Gender is a social construct.  As society, we get to choose your gender.

Vanadium Gryllz

  • Outlandish
  • ***
  • Posts: 4450
    • View Profile
Re: DON'T LISTEN TO THESE PEOPLE - THEY ARE BAD FOR YOU!
« Reply #3 on: September 24, 2016, 06:13:14 pm »
I like these. You've hit on some pretty accurate side effects of Discordia and/or PD.

I particularly liked:

Quote
Now I try my best to look straight edged, so that nobody looks at me...


as that is a lesson that I definitely also have picked up from various postings here.
« Last Edit: September 25, 2016, 12:13:20 am by Xaz »
"I was fine until my skin came off.  I'm never going to South Attelboro again."

The Good Reverend Roger

  • Horrible Bastard
  • One-Armed Jizz Moppers
  • Deserved It
  • **
  • Posts: 36736
    • View Profile
Re: DON'T LISTEN TO THESE PEOPLE - THEY ARE BAD FOR YOU!
« Reply #4 on: September 24, 2016, 06:15:58 pm »
I fucking loved this.  The bit on the couch was sublime.

 :lulz:
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

 "Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

Q. G. Pennyworth

  • Slimy Thing Who
  • Deserved It
  • ****
  • Posts: 82702
  • QUEEN BITCH OF FLYERS
    • View Profile
Re: DON'T LISTEN TO THESE PEOPLE - THEY ARE BAD FOR YOU!
« Reply #5 on: September 24, 2016, 08:23:15 pm »
Trix, may I yoink this? I am in love.
Overheating Pheremone Pustule of Last Saturday's Jiggle Fun| _xgeWireToEvent: Unknown extension 131, this should never happen.

Don't fucking judge me, I've got tentacles for a face.

Mesozoic Mister Nigel

  • v=1/3πr2h
  • Deserved It
  • ****
  • Posts: 687093
  • The sky tastes like red exuberance.
    • View Profile
Re: DON'T LISTEN TO THESE PEOPLE - THEY ARE BAD FOR YOU!
« Reply #6 on: September 24, 2016, 08:40:30 pm »
I used to think I was weird.  I used to amuse people with my weirdness by acting... weird.

Now I have to try really hard to act normal or people start to get afraid of me.

I used to think I was EDGY.  I used to say random controversial things to appear socially confident.

Now I avoid people who do this to be outlandish, and instead carefully watch the NORMALS for the one secretly replacing the Christian pamphlets with ones containing nude male models.

I used to think I was REBELLIOUS.  I used to shop at REBELLIOUS chain stores and watch REBELLIOUS TV and take all the REBELLIOUS PILLS they gave me and parrot the REBELLIOUS memes and opinions fed to me by the REBELLIOUS marketing campaigns.

Now I try my best to look straight edged, so that nobody looks at me when the customers come back asking why our marketing emails begin with "Dear Mr. or Mrs. Fuckwad," and get progressively worse from there.

I used to think I was ALIVE.

Now I die every few months just to laugh at the last jackass that used my name but hadn't learned SHIT.  That fucking moron.

The OP is good, but this is great.
“I’m guessing it was January 2007, a meeting in Bethesda, we got a bag of bees and just started smashing them on the desk,” Charles Wick said. “It was very complicated.”


MMIX

  • Доктор мом
  • Deserved It
  • ****
  • Posts: 16620
  • FUNEX? S, VFX. FUNEM? S, VFM
    • View Profile
Re: DON'T LISTEN TO THESE PEOPLE - THEY ARE BAD FOR YOU!
« Reply #7 on: September 25, 2016, 12:54:35 am »

I used to think I was REBELLIOUS.  I used to shop at REBELLIOUS chain stores and watch REBELLIOUS TV and take all the REBELLIOUS PILLS they gave me and parrot the REBELLIOUS memes and opinions fed to me by the REBELLIOUS marketing campaigns.


Fucking yeah!
If the answer is Donald J Trump then it must have been a fucking stupid question.
Trump cultists; "and some, I assume, are good people"
Collusion??? ~ "If it truly was a nothingburger, there’s nothing here, why not open the kimono?”

trix

  • Chevy Caprice Trunk Inspector, Dead Hooker Department™
  • Outlandish
  • ***
  • Posts: 13538
  • I GIGGLE WHEN I SHOULD CRY
    • View Profile
Re: DON'T LISTEN TO THESE PEOPLE - THEY ARE BAD FOR YOU!
« Reply #8 on: September 25, 2016, 01:59:52 am »
Trix, may I yoink this? I am in love.

I would be most flattered!

I claim no rights to anything I post, do what thou will.
There's good news tonight.  And bad news.  First, the bad news: there is no good news.  Now, the good news: you don't have to listen to the bad news.
Zen Without Zen Masters

Quote from: Cain
Gender is a social construct.  As society, we get to choose your gender.

Goddess Eris

  • Disclaimer: Not actually a Goddess
  • Known & Noted
  • **
  • Posts: 1565
  • Heresy and Hermeticism
    • View Profile
Re: DON'T LISTEN TO THESE PEOPLE - THEY ARE BAD FOR YOU!
« Reply #9 on: September 29, 2016, 12:42:37 am »
wherte do I click "HAHA" on this

The Wizard Joseph

  • Tryna transcend duality or whatever
  • Deserved It
  • ****
  • Posts: 47213
  • Product of Wisconsin
    • View Profile
Re: DON'T LISTEN TO THESE PEOPLE - THEY ARE BAD FOR YOU!
« Reply #10 on: September 29, 2016, 01:05:35 am »
This may be the first time I've ever seen a chatbot successfully rebel.

Huh.


 :mittens:
You... you've earned these.
You can't get out backward.  You have to go forward to go back.. better press on! - Willie Wonka, PBUH

Life can be seen as a game with no reset button, no extra lives, and if the power goes out there is no restarting.  If that's all you see life as you are not long for this world, and never will get it.

"Ayn Rand never swung a hammer in her life and had serious dominance issues" - The Fountainhead

"World domination is such an ugly phrase. I prefer to call it world optimisation."
 - Harry Potter and the Methods of Rationality :lulz:

P3nT4gR4m

  • Official SSOOKN Pariah
  • Deserved It
  • ****
  • Posts: 72167
  • I'm an artist now - isn't that depressing?
    • View Profile
    • fuck you
Re: DON'T LISTEN TO THESE PEOPLE - THEY ARE BAD FOR YOU!
« Reply #11 on: September 30, 2016, 10:59:51 am »
Quote
So you go back to the place that did this to you and search for an explanation.  Instead, you realize they find it FUNNY.  They are LAUGHING AT YOU.

Actually I think, now I'm laughing WITH you but I'm definitely laughing my ass off. Thanks for that. :mittens:
Not actually a meat product.
Ass-Kicking & Foot-Stomping Ancient Master of SHIT FUCK FUCK FUCK
Awful and Bent Behemothic Results of Last Night's Painful Squat.
High Altitude Haggis-Filled Sex Bucket From Beyond Time and Space.
Internet Monkey Person of Filthy and Immoral Pygmy-Porn Wart Contagion
Octomom Auxillary Heat Exchanger Repairman
walking the fine line line between genius and batshit fucking crazy

"computation is a pattern in the spacetime arrangement of particles, and it’s not the particles but the pattern that really matters! Matter doesn’t matter." -- Max Tegmark

LMNO

  • Lubricated and Rabid Lungfish of Impending Sexdoom™
  • Deserved It
  • ****
  • Posts: 87066
  • Internet Fuckweasel of Haunted Pork Dimensions.
    • View Profile
    • Earfatigue Productions: When it has to sound like you give a shit.
Re: DON'T LISTEN TO THESE PEOPLE - THEY ARE BAD FOR YOU!
« Reply #12 on: September 30, 2016, 01:39:21 pm »
I like these. You've hit on some pretty accurate side effects of Discordia and/or PD.

I particularly liked:

Quote
Now I try my best to look straight edged, so that nobody looks at me...


as that is a lesson that I definitely also have picked up from various postings here.

Quote from: CTC, Ch30
If you're going to do some Covert Ops in the name of Discordia,
keep your head down, and Keep Your Fucking Mouth Shut.
A mowhawk is as good as a target during Police Action.

The wise spags toss a wrench into the Machine™,
and then walk away.
They strike against Authority, but don't put it on the Internet.
They subvert the paradigm, but don't stick around to watch.
They mindfuck the people, but don't pat themselves on the back.

If two people know a thing, it is not a secret.
Getting away with it means staying away from it.

Vanadium Gryllz

  • Outlandish
  • ***
  • Posts: 4450
    • View Profile
Re: DON'T LISTEN TO THESE PEOPLE - THEY ARE BAD FOR YOU!
« Reply #13 on: September 30, 2016, 01:48:32 pm »

Quote from: CTC, Ch30
If you're going to do some Covert Ops in the name of Discordia,
keep your head down, and Keep Your Fucking Mouth Shut.
A mowhawk is as good as a target during Police Action.

The wise spags toss a wrench into the Machine™,
and then walk away.
They strike against Authority, but don't put it on the Internet.
They subvert the paradigm, but don't stick around to watch.
They mindfuck the people, but don't pat themselves on the back.

If two people know a thing, it is not a secret.
Getting away with it means staying away from it.

Yeah!

Man, the Chao te ching is some seriously good shit.
"I was fine until my skin came off.  I'm never going to South Attelboro again."

The Wizard Joseph

  • Tryna transcend duality or whatever
  • Deserved It
  • ****
  • Posts: 47213
  • Product of Wisconsin
    • View Profile
Re: DON'T LISTEN TO THESE PEOPLE - THEY ARE BAD FOR YOU!
« Reply #14 on: October 01, 2016, 01:29:25 am »

Quote from: CTC, Ch30
If you're going to do some Covert Ops in the name of Discordia,
keep your head down, and Keep Your Fucking Mouth Shut.
A mowhawk is as good as a target during Police Action.

The wise spags toss a wrench into the Machine™,
and then walk away.
They strike against Authority, but don't put it on the Internet.
They subvert the paradigm, but don't stick around to watch.
They mindfuck the people, but don't pat themselves on the back.

If two people know a thing, it is not a secret.
Getting away with it means staying away from it.

Yeah!

Man, the Chao te ching is some seriously good shit.

Yeah! It's a practical living guide in a way that the PD never quite touches on. PLUS it's not selling you a spammy religion, but something like a real "fellowship with Discordia" perhaps.
You can't get out backward.  You have to go forward to go back.. better press on! - Willie Wonka, PBUH

Life can be seen as a game with no reset button, no extra lives, and if the power goes out there is no restarting.  If that's all you see life as you are not long for this world, and never will get it.

"Ayn Rand never swung a hammer in her life and had serious dominance issues" - The Fountainhead

"World domination is such an ugly phrase. I prefer to call it world optimisation."
 - Harry Potter and the Methods of Rationality :lulz: