Author Topic: Open Bar: Fake News, Fake Bar  (Read 51311 times)

The Wizard Joseph

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Re: Open Bar: Fake News, Fake Bar
« Reply #780 on: March 16, 2017, 06:19:08 am »
Not really sure where or how to get at this so here in the bar it is.

Over the weekend for the first time in a long time I found myself face to face with excessive thoughts and very strong impulses towards autotermination. I've been sliding downward for a while now and not necessarily dealing with it as such. I'm the stubborn sort of fool that has problems accepting my problems for what they are and worse about getting real help when it means I'd have to ask for it.

I found myself halfway into a sincere plan before I realized that I was in over my head. I'm fortunate, fucking outright just lucky, to have had a good friend that recognized this in me and insisted that I seek help through the county and this morning I got signed up for counciling, meds, insurance assistance, and may well wind up on disability benefits when all of the follow up appointments on Monday are over with.

I have a bad way of pretending everything is fine right up until I have a total breakdown, and the truth is I've been pretending for years now. I came face to face with this while trying to do the job I managed to get for myself doing for a private uniform and medical laundry service what I had done for the hospital that I snapped and walked out of a year ago almost to the day. I don't care to describe my feelings or thoughts here in any detail other than to say that I was pretty well done with everything and didn't even have the concern for the impact such a thing might have on others left in me at one point. It was by far the worst I've felt for my adult life in terms of depression and though I'm not out of the woods I'm getting help now that I denied myself for years PURELY out of asinine pride.

I don't know where my life is going now other than that for now my "job" is to do whatever it takes to get well and to follow through with my appointments and the process of getting myself whatever aid I can in the meantime. For now I'm not an immediate threat to myself or others and am coping with the state of things as well as I can until I get on meds of some sort. The folks at the health and human services department gave me a bunch of folks to call if I were to slide further or feel like I'm about to lose control. Being willing to accept help was a very big hurdle for me, but I have decided finally that if I want to live, and I do, that I don't have the power to do it alone anymore, and probably never really did so much as limp along while pretending everything is just fine, thanks.

I'll probably try to write something more up in my personal thread later more relevant to my story, but I figured that as an update from where I was or thought I was headed I should mention something to the folks here because you guys are all MEANINGFUL to me and I count no small number of you friends.

So I'm continuing on. We shall see where it goes. It's been a pretty damn long day and I need to rest, but I'll stay in touch.
You can't get out backward.  You have to go forward to go back.. better press on! - Willie Wonka, PBUH

Life can be seen as a game with no reset button, no extra lives, and if the power goes out there is no restarting.  If that's all you see life as you are not long for this world, and never will get it.

"Ayn Rand never swung a hammer in her life and had serious dominance issues" - The Fountainhead

"World domination is such an ugly phrase. I prefer to call it world optimisation."
 - Harry Potter and the Methods of Rationality :lulz:

Freeky

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Re: Open Bar: Fake News, Fake Bar
« Reply #781 on: March 16, 2017, 08:46:58 am »
Glad you're not dead, TWJ, and sorry things are shitty. :sad:
If someone does the Fine, youre right, Im clearly a terrible person, Im Satan, Im the worst person alive, I should just die thing in response to criticism of their harmful behavior, they are trying to manipulate people and flip the situation around so that they look like a victim.

As a neuroscientist I have to disagree with the perception that anyone is doing mathematical modeling of cognitive intelligence, yet; intelligence as an economist defines it, yes, but economists are worlds away from actual cognition.


Although it is outside the purview of this organization to offer personal advice, we can say -- without assuming any liability -- that previous experience indicates (and recent market studies corroborate) that given the present condition of the marketplace, continuing with your present course of action is likely to result in substantial in

The Wizard Joseph

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Re: Open Bar: Fake News, Fake Bar
« Reply #782 on: March 16, 2017, 02:08:10 pm »
Glad you're not dead, TWJ, and sorry things are shitty. :sad:

Thanks. I'm intent on staying not dead and trying very hard to overcome the fool mentality that let me get so far gone in the first place.
You can't get out backward.  You have to go forward to go back.. better press on! - Willie Wonka, PBUH

Life can be seen as a game with no reset button, no extra lives, and if the power goes out there is no restarting.  If that's all you see life as you are not long for this world, and never will get it.

"Ayn Rand never swung a hammer in her life and had serious dominance issues" - The Fountainhead

"World domination is such an ugly phrase. I prefer to call it world optimisation."
 - Harry Potter and the Methods of Rationality :lulz:

Cramulus

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Re: Open Bar: Fake News, Fake Bar
« Reply #783 on: March 16, 2017, 02:20:32 pm »
I'm glad you're okay. Please don't go to that place. How you're feeling right now isn't permanent; things will get better.

If you ever want to chat, vent, etc, swing by #discord.

The Wizard Joseph

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Re: Open Bar: Fake News, Fake Bar
« Reply #784 on: March 16, 2017, 02:57:26 pm »
I'm glad you're okay. Please don't go to that place. How you're feeling right now isn't permanent; things will get better.

If you ever want to chat, vent, etc, swing by #discord.
I appreciate the offer. Does #discord mean the IRC or something? I'm not exactly hep to the techno slang. If it is IRC do you know of a decent client app for android?
You can't get out backward.  You have to go forward to go back.. better press on! - Willie Wonka, PBUH

Life can be seen as a game with no reset button, no extra lives, and if the power goes out there is no restarting.  If that's all you see life as you are not long for this world, and never will get it.

"Ayn Rand never swung a hammer in her life and had serious dominance issues" - The Fountainhead

"World domination is such an ugly phrase. I prefer to call it world optimisation."
 - Harry Potter and the Methods of Rationality :lulz:

LMNO

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Re: Open Bar: Fake News, Fake Bar
« Reply #785 on: March 16, 2017, 03:36:33 pm »
I am also glad you are not dead.

Mesozoic Mister Nigel

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Re: Open Bar: Fake News, Fake Bar
« Reply #786 on: March 16, 2017, 03:47:00 pm »
Hang in there, TWJ! I'm glad you're getting help. You can talk to us, I think that there are many people here who have been in a similar headspace.

Hang tough, my friend.
Im guessing it was January 2007, a meeting in Bethesda, we got a bag of bees and just started smashing them on the desk, Charles Wick said. It was very complicated.


Mesozoic Mister Nigel

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Re: Open Bar: Fake News, Fake Bar
« Reply #787 on: March 16, 2017, 04:01:56 pm »
So, I'm walking down the street to the store, right, and I stop and say hello to a rottweiler puppy I've made friends with like I normally do if he's outside and there's no truck in the driveway. Only this time, his owner drives up as I'm petting the pupper through the fence, and I'm all :C because people can get kind of miffy about strangers petting their dogs, which you know, they have good reason to. So I give pupper one last scratch and turn to apologize to his owner as he gets out of the truck. "Sorry!" I say, "sorry, I just love your dog, he's such a sweety."

So then

he goes to the gate

and UNLOCKS AND OPENS IT

and I'm like :o IS THIS HAPPENING

and the puppy is like :O DAD KAN I PLEI WIF HER

and then I got to hug him and wrestle a bit before I went to the store. His name is Rusty. #DogsCountAsFriends


The end. C:

Awwwwww! That's hella cute!
Im guessing it was January 2007, a meeting in Bethesda, we got a bag of bees and just started smashing them on the desk, Charles Wick said. It was very complicated.


Cramulus

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Re: Open Bar: Fake News, Fake Bar
« Reply #788 on: March 16, 2017, 04:16:09 pm »
I'm glad you're okay. Please don't go to that place. How you're feeling right now isn't permanent; things will get better.

If you ever want to chat, vent, etc, swing by #discord.
I appreciate the offer. Does #discord mean the IRC or something? I'm not exactly hep to the techno slang. If it is IRC do you know of a decent client app for android?

Yeah during the 9-5 hours I'm in the IRC channel called #discord. The easiest way to find it is here: http://www.principiadiscordia.com/irc/

Android clients.... there's -
- androirc, but it's shit
- andchat, but it's outdated

Mesozoic Mister Nigel

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Re: Open Bar: Fake News, Fake Bar
« Reply #789 on: March 16, 2017, 04:29:06 pm »
This morning I have been watching a hilarious argument unfold, in which a German guy is patiently explaining to a Welsh woman that well, actually, Wales is a principality. He says that this is a fact because the head of state is a prince.

He even linked to this helpful Wikipedia article as proof:

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Principality_of_Wales

I totally can't tell whether he's trolling, but this is making my morning.
Im guessing it was January 2007, a meeting in Bethesda, we got a bag of bees and just started smashing them on the desk, Charles Wick said. It was very complicated.


Faust

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Re: Open Bar: Fake News, Fake Bar
« Reply #790 on: March 16, 2017, 04:41:13 pm »
I'm glad you're okay. Please don't go to that place. How you're feeling right now isn't permanent; things will get better.

If you ever want to chat, vent, etc, swing by #discord.
I appreciate the offer. Does #discord mean the IRC or something? I'm not exactly hep to the techno slang. If it is IRC do you know of a decent client app for android?

Yeah during the 9-5 hours I'm in the IRC channel called #discord. The easiest way to find it is here: http://www.principiadiscordia.com/irc/

Android clients.... there's -
- androirc, but it's shit
- andchat, but it's outdated
If I can I'll try make the page more responsive on phones, but it might be hard as its loading that client as an external object

The Wizard Joseph

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Re: Open Bar: Fake News, Fake Bar
« Reply #791 on: March 16, 2017, 05:15:02 pm »
Hang in there, TWJ! I'm glad you're getting help. You can talk to us, I think that there are many people here who have been in a similar headspace.

Hang tough, my friend.

I'm doing my best. Thanks Nigel. It's difficult for me to open up, but I will as things progress.

Vonnegut had a line in Galapagos that struck a bit too true to the effect that "the soul" is the part of you that realizes when your brain is not working correctly anymore.

At least now I can try getting back into the habit of reading books and trying to build an otherwise healthy lifestyle. If I find myself on disability, which is pretty likely, I'll be able to go to school when I have my other factors more stabilized, but that's going to be a fair ways further down the line now.
You can't get out backward.  You have to go forward to go back.. better press on! - Willie Wonka, PBUH

Life can be seen as a game with no reset button, no extra lives, and if the power goes out there is no restarting.  If that's all you see life as you are not long for this world, and never will get it.

"Ayn Rand never swung a hammer in her life and had serious dominance issues" - The Fountainhead

"World domination is such an ugly phrase. I prefer to call it world optimisation."
 - Harry Potter and the Methods of Rationality :lulz:

The Wizard Joseph

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Re: Open Bar: Fake News, Fake Bar
« Reply #792 on: March 16, 2017, 05:15:50 pm »
I am also glad you are not dead.

It does help to hear this. Thanks LMNO.
You can't get out backward.  You have to go forward to go back.. better press on! - Willie Wonka, PBUH

Life can be seen as a game with no reset button, no extra lives, and if the power goes out there is no restarting.  If that's all you see life as you are not long for this world, and never will get it.

"Ayn Rand never swung a hammer in her life and had serious dominance issues" - The Fountainhead

"World domination is such an ugly phrase. I prefer to call it world optimisation."
 - Harry Potter and the Methods of Rationality :lulz:

The Wizard Joseph

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Re: Open Bar: Fake News, Fake Bar
« Reply #793 on: March 16, 2017, 05:19:01 pm »
I'm glad you're okay. Please don't go to that place. How you're feeling right now isn't permanent; things will get better.

If you ever want to chat, vent, etc, swing by #discord.
I appreciate the offer. Does #discord mean the IRC or something? I'm not exactly hep to the techno slang. If it is IRC do you know of a decent client app for android?

Yeah during the 9-5 hours I'm in the IRC channel called #discord. The easiest way to find it is here: http://www.principiadiscordia.com/irc/

Android clients.... there's -
- androirc, but it's shit
- andchat, but it's outdated
If I can I'll try make the page more responsive on phones, but it might be hard as its loading that client as an external object

It's cool guys. I'll eventually get to a point where I'm one of the IRC elites.

For now I'm just going to continue posting on the forum as it goes. If I need a more private chat there's always PMs. I'm in no particular rush anymore. Just got to keep plugging away.
You can't get out backward.  You have to go forward to go back.. better press on! - Willie Wonka, PBUH

Life can be seen as a game with no reset button, no extra lives, and if the power goes out there is no restarting.  If that's all you see life as you are not long for this world, and never will get it.

"Ayn Rand never swung a hammer in her life and had serious dominance issues" - The Fountainhead

"World domination is such an ugly phrase. I prefer to call it world optimisation."
 - Harry Potter and the Methods of Rationality :lulz:

Cramulus

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Re: Open Bar: Fake News, Fake Bar
« Reply #794 on: March 16, 2017, 05:53:39 pm »
For TWJ: 100% of the time, this guy cheers me up https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3dpNS2l7jNs