Author Topic: Goddess Gave Me Love (And She Turned Out To Be Toxic)  (Read 232 times)

QueenThera

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Goddess Gave Me Love (And She Turned Out To Be Toxic)
« on: July 27, 2017, 10:30:31 am »
I hate myself.

I only write shitty  stream of consciousness poetry.

I use many many boxes to hold the emptiness that is myself, and pretend they all hide a soul inside them. The paper I wrap around it is so pretty. I don't want anyone to open it (I want everyone to open it). It's so fucking cliché how empty I am.

I am autistic, I am transgender, I am Discordian, I am a fan of Oz, I am a fan of Wonderland, I am in love with Anywhere But Here, I am an escapist, I am passive, I am a fuckup.

I'm not real. How the fuck do you become a real person? Is it by obeying the right authorities like Pinocchio promised?

Is it by laughing at authority, like Tove Jansson promised?

Is it by making friends along the way, like The Marvelous Land of Oz promised?

Or is it all nonsense, like the Blue Caterpillar and Alice concluded?

Fuck it.
Often incoherent. Tends to ramble on about various topics.
Hopes to get beyond that.

Formerly BrotherPrickle

QueenThera

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Re: Goddess Gave Me Love (And She Turned Out To Be Toxic)
« Reply #1 on: July 31, 2017, 09:55:12 am »
I want to write but I have nothing to say.
Or rather, I have a dozen things to say all at once
   (If things can be just shapes and forms and not actual messages)
          (Shouldn't I stop thinking about messages to convey?)
               (Shouldn't I stop thinking)
                       (Shouldn't I stop)

Fuck it. Continue anyway. Be anyway. Do anyway.
Go through the motions. Build up sandcastles and maybe your passion can flare out to turn them to revelatory glass.

Or let the tide sweep in and wash me away.

This is just clinical depression and/or anxiety and/or dysphoria talking. Why even bother with metaphors?
(Because my unconscious mind doesn't understand big words)
Often incoherent. Tends to ramble on about various topics.
Hopes to get beyond that.

Formerly BrotherPrickle

QueenThera

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Re: Goddess Gave Me Love (And She Turned Out To Be Toxic)
« Reply #2 on: July 31, 2017, 10:01:36 am »
Chaos means being yourself at all costs.  When applied on the individual level, that is, to yourself. (Whatever a self fucking is)

I choose to be chaotic (ha I didn't try very hard (I'm a fraud)) to overcome my passivity. I should do things.

Chaos is also change and transmutation and---
It's being a fucking asshole. You shithead. You fuck. You just want an excuse to abandon your family and masturbate for the rest of your life. Parasite. Leech. (You're better off dead)

My brain doesn't work right, I'd like a new one.
Often incoherent. Tends to ramble on about various topics.
Hopes to get beyond that.

Formerly BrotherPrickle