Author Topic: Theological Questions!  (Read 2544 times)

THE PRIORITISER

  • The Universe consists of non-simultaneously apprehended events
  • Known & Noted
  • **
  • Posts: 1721
  • Spiritual Spasm
    • View Profile
Theological Questions!
« on: January 15, 2018, 04:41:22 am »
Is heaven just a method to get people to pull down their/zip up there - pants?  :eek:


Does Yahweh like or hate hanging around with Eris?


Do Santa and Satan get along?


Is Christianism compatible with Santaism?



Is Paul (The so-called "apostle") the most successful cult leader of all time?



I wrote a new Bible book, where can I submit it?
0              5              7              11:11                12                      13                     23                 69                        93                666                777                       ∞ / ∞

THE PRIORITISER

  • The Universe consists of non-simultaneously apprehended events
  • Known & Noted
  • **
  • Posts: 1721
  • Spiritual Spasm
    • View Profile
Re: Theological Questions!
« Reply #1 on: January 16, 2018, 08:33:30 am »
If two people from three different religions all hate each other, does that make them friends?
0              5              7              11:11                12                      13                     23                 69                        93                666                777                       ∞ / ∞

LMNO

  • Lubricated and Rabid Lungfish of Impending Sexdoom™
  • Deserved It
  • ****
  • Posts: 87427
  • Internet Fuckweasel of Haunted Pork Dimensions.
    • View Profile
    • Earfatigue Productions: When it has to sound like you give a shit.
Re: Theological Questions!
« Reply #2 on: January 16, 2018, 01:01:38 pm »

Cramulus

  • Deserved It
  • ****
  • Posts: 131530
    • View Profile
    • Cramul.us
Re: Theological Questions!
« Reply #3 on: January 16, 2018, 03:47:12 pm »
Is heaven just a method to get people to pull down their/zip up there - pants?  :eek:

The most cynical take on religion would say Heaven / Hell is just a motivational tool.

The old Hebrew word for Hell, Sheol, really refers to the shaded slope on the west side of the city of Jerusalem, where everyone threw their garbage. "When you die, you go to Sheol", in a literal sense means that if your life wasn't worth anything, we just throw you in the trash.







Quote
Does Yahweh like or hate hanging around with Eris?

she's like an internet troll on his forum


she loves the idea of the forum but she hates most of the mods & members



Quote
Is Christianism compatible with Santaism?

in a yin/yang sense

in the Jungian Shadow sense


compatible as in symbiotic







Quote
Is Paul (The so-called "apostle") the most successful cult leader of all time?

He's up there, but he was drinking from the Old Egyptian punch bowl.

Arguably the most successful cult leader was the dude who originally converted Paul.

The early apostles had an idea - they wanted to capture some of the real powerful ancient ideas from Pre-Sand Egypt. Christian ceremonies were not invented by these old patriarchs, they were borrowed from an older (non-jewish) form. They retold the Mithras/Horus/etc stories as current events so that people wouldn't get hung up on the other egyptian baggage. Paul et al cut out the dances and physical movements in Egyptian ceremonies, repackaged the concepts as something new, called it Christianity.


So the root question is - who converted Paul?


Quote
I wrote a new Bible book, where can I submit it?

Did the pink laser hit you in the third eye?

Was the book written using your Pineal Gland?

If not, submit it to the fuckin trash


and if it was divinely inspired & written with your pineal gland, submit it to the fuckin trash harder

THE PRIORITISER

  • The Universe consists of non-simultaneously apprehended events
  • Known & Noted
  • **
  • Posts: 1721
  • Spiritual Spasm
    • View Profile
Re: Theological Questions!
« Reply #4 on: January 17, 2018, 12:27:26 am »
Yeah, they took the Tanakh, added some books and repackaged it as the "old" testament with new added meanings/interpretations.
0              5              7              11:11                12                      13                     23                 69                        93                666                777                       ∞ / ∞

THE PRIORITISER

  • The Universe consists of non-simultaneously apprehended events
  • Known & Noted
  • **
  • Posts: 1721
  • Spiritual Spasm
    • View Profile
Re: Theological Questions!
« Reply #5 on: January 17, 2018, 12:37:36 am »
"Christianism" and "Satanity", is how I like to refer to it.

Seeing how true Satanism IS Christianity, it's amusing how atheists who are still pissed about their Christian upbringing, claim to be "Satanists" to fuck with people.
0              5              7              11:11                12                      13                     23                 69                        93                666                777                       ∞ / ∞

THE PRIORITISER

  • The Universe consists of non-simultaneously apprehended events
  • Known & Noted
  • **
  • Posts: 1721
  • Spiritual Spasm
    • View Profile
Re: Theological Questions!
« Reply #6 on: January 17, 2018, 03:03:29 am »
To be fair, a large majority of "Christians" are just "Jesusists" - aka ignoring most of the Bibles doctrines for a very basic identification with the hero archetype and the heaven ideal + turning up at church every Sunday to pretend to be more into their religion then they actually are




Back with Christianity origins - it was pretty much like:

"Ok lets steal the Jewish scriptures and ignore everything except for what is relevant to the Jesus narrative we are trying to put together"
0              5              7              11:11                12                      13                     23                 69                        93                666                777                       ∞ / ∞

The Wizard Joseph

  • Tryna transcend duality or whatever
  • Deserved It
  • ****
  • Posts: 50146
  • Product of Wisconsin
    • View Profile
Re: Theological Questions!
« Reply #7 on: January 17, 2018, 04:50:09 pm »
To be fair, a large majority of "Christians" are just "Jesusists" - aka ignoring most of the Bibles doctrines for a very basic identification with the hero archetype and the heaven ideal + turning up at church every Sunday to pretend to be more into their religion then they actually are




Back with Christianity origins - it was pretty much like:

"Ok lets steal the Jewish scriptures and ignore everything except for what is relevant to the Jesus narrative we are trying to put together"

 :lulz: They especially ignore the fun parts of Genesis like the whole Nephilim thing and that one time Abraham sold his wife to the Pharaoh and told him she was his sister. Good times!
You can't get out backward.  You have to go forward to go back.. better press on! - Willie Wonka, PBUH

Life can be seen as a game with no reset button, no extra lives, and if the power goes out there is no restarting.  If that's all you see life as you are not long for this world, and never will get it.

"Ayn Rand never swung a hammer in her life and had serious dominance issues" - The Fountainhead

"World domination is such an ugly phrase. I prefer to call it world optimisation."
 - Harry Potter and the Methods of Rationality :lulz:

THE PRIORITISER

  • The Universe consists of non-simultaneously apprehended events
  • Known & Noted
  • **
  • Posts: 1721
  • Spiritual Spasm
    • View Profile
Re: Theological Questions!
« Reply #8 on: January 17, 2018, 09:10:40 pm »
:lulz: They especially ignore the fun parts of Genesis like the whole Nephilim thing and that one time Abraham sold his wife to the Pharaoh and told him she was his sister. Good times!

Yeah, that kind of stuff is awesome but Christians completely ignore it or pass it off. (At least in mystical Judaism you see those kinds of Biblical elements actually explored/explained - albeit differently to Christianity)


0              5              7              11:11                12                      13                     23                 69                        93                666                777                       ∞ / ∞

THE PRIORITISER

  • The Universe consists of non-simultaneously apprehended events
  • Known & Noted
  • **
  • Posts: 1721
  • Spiritual Spasm
    • View Profile
Re: Theological Questions!
« Reply #9 on: January 17, 2018, 09:16:09 pm »
Going between both Christianity and Judaism, it's amazing to see how differently they interpret the scripture that they share (generally speaking, the Tanakh is mostly included ** in a different order, in Christianity as the "Old Testament" - with a few books added.....)
What I began to see quickly is how such a large amount of orthodox Christian doctrine is actually derived from the New Testament (bingo Jesus) and in particular Paul's contributions (14 books). - This obviously results in a perverted understanding of the "Old' testament + reading connections that aren't there.


Also, so so so many Christian denominations have no idea whatsoever how to interpret The Book Of Revelation....at all. And because of this, there are so many Christians that negatively walk around with the 'Apocalypse mindset", which Revelation isn't even about!
....but that's the "New" Testament.  :lulz:



**different translations, applied meanings and the lot
« Last Edit: January 17, 2018, 09:18:39 pm by St Accelerated Evolution »
0              5              7              11:11                12                      13                     23                 69                        93                666                777                       ∞ / ∞

THE PRIORITISER

  • The Universe consists of non-simultaneously apprehended events
  • Known & Noted
  • **
  • Posts: 1721
  • Spiritual Spasm
    • View Profile
Re: Theological Questions!
« Reply #10 on: January 18, 2018, 10:26:54 pm »
What the fuck is up with Satanism?


They are so 'hurt' by Christianity that they can't simply just call themselves atheists and call it a day - instead, they use unrelated symbology and choose to identify themselves with a little angel who had a tantrum in several chapters of the Bible and had little significance otherwise. It seems that they think that identifying themselves with this insignificant angel, makes them "edgy".


"I am a Satanist, I swear, I just don't believe in Satan. I can't be just an atheist, else then where is my identity?" - [Satanist then goes off and cries in a corner]
0              5              7              11:11                12                      13                     23                 69                        93                666                777                       ∞ / ∞

The Wizard Joseph

  • Tryna transcend duality or whatever
  • Deserved It
  • ****
  • Posts: 50146
  • Product of Wisconsin
    • View Profile
Re: Theological Questions!
« Reply #11 on: January 20, 2018, 08:09:46 pm »
What the fuck is up with Satanism?


They are so 'hurt' by Christianity that they can't simply just call themselves atheists and call it a day - instead, they use unrelated symbology and choose to identify themselves with a little angel who had a tantrum in several chapters of the Bible and had little significance otherwise. It seems that they think that identifying themselves with this insignificant angel, makes them "edgy".


"I am a Satanist, I swear, I just don't believe in Satan. I can't be just an atheist, else then where is my identity?" - [Satanist then goes off and cries in a corner]

Wanna bet LaVey had a copy of the PD?
You can't get out backward.  You have to go forward to go back.. better press on! - Willie Wonka, PBUH

Life can be seen as a game with no reset button, no extra lives, and if the power goes out there is no restarting.  If that's all you see life as you are not long for this world, and never will get it.

"Ayn Rand never swung a hammer in her life and had serious dominance issues" - The Fountainhead

"World domination is such an ugly phrase. I prefer to call it world optimisation."
 - Harry Potter and the Methods of Rationality :lulz:

The Wizard Joseph

  • Tryna transcend duality or whatever
  • Deserved It
  • ****
  • Posts: 50146
  • Product of Wisconsin
    • View Profile
Re: Theological Questions!
« Reply #12 on: January 20, 2018, 08:14:31 pm »
:lulz: They especially ignore the fun parts of Genesis like the whole Nephilim thing and that one time Abraham sold his wife to the Pharaoh and told him she was his sister. Good times!

Yeah, that kind of stuff is awesome but Christians completely ignore it or pass it off. (At least in mystical Judaism you see those kinds of Biblical elements actually explored/explained - albeit differently to Christianity)

The Book of Enki is a great place to start making comparisons. Possibly fictional but definitely along the lines of WHAT the nephilim might have been.

To be clear I don't believe in Sitchen's assertions. There's "ancient aliens" and then there's WHAT REALLY HAPPENED.

MACK BEN BEN!
 :backpedal:
You can't get out backward.  You have to go forward to go back.. better press on! - Willie Wonka, PBUH

Life can be seen as a game with no reset button, no extra lives, and if the power goes out there is no restarting.  If that's all you see life as you are not long for this world, and never will get it.

"Ayn Rand never swung a hammer in her life and had serious dominance issues" - The Fountainhead

"World domination is such an ugly phrase. I prefer to call it world optimisation."
 - Harry Potter and the Methods of Rationality :lulz:

LuciferX

  • Metanoia
  • Deserved It
  • ****
  • Posts: 29845
  • fripping moncrey!
    • View Profile
Re: Theological Questions!
« Reply #13 on: January 22, 2018, 12:46:40 am »
Quote:
>>Does Yahweh like or hate hanging around with Eris?

I think both, relatable for the same and also different reasons. You guys'eses member how they used to snub Yahweh, the invidious names they would taunt him with, that thing about his mother, etc. All things that would make his relationship to Eris somewhat complicated.
Hic Salta?
________
Constant Eso-Opthamologist of Elicited Stopped-Clock Illusions, brings it back, or sinners just repent______

OS Not Found

  • Known
  • *
  • Posts: 160
    • View Profile
Re: Theological Questions!
« Reply #14 on: January 22, 2018, 02:57:16 am »
Where are the sisters of all the only begotten sons?

Seems odd to specify sons if there were not daughters to distinguish them from, else they would just be only begotten children
Natural law demands spaghetti to be eaten raw.