Author Topic: I know you don't like excuses, but I have a really good one.  (Read 1263 times)

Doktor Howl

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I may not have been easy to get along with around here.  I may not have been the best ally you could ask for, or even the best friend (allowing for different definition of 'friends'.)  I may have made you mad a few times or a million times.  I may have run some decent people off with the AKKs of the world (a lot of the decent people don't flounce, they just quietly leave.)  I could even be at least partially responsible for the fact that there are now like 10 regular users, and that includes the 3 basket cases.  I may have just called three people basket cases.

I may, I admit at least the possibility have been wrong about The Great Seriousness of 2015 (though I doubt it), I may be inflexible or vindictive in response to that Seriousness.  Hell, let's just be honest; I am both inflexible and vindictive about it.  I may still be; no, I AM.  There's no point putting on rose-colored glasses when you're the one offering excuses, right?  No.  You must hope that the recipients are doing so, because how often do people really CHANGE?  The answer is, of course, "all the time, only you usually don't see it because it takes so long."

I may even have started an entire excuse thread that lists only my alleged crimes, but nothing actually resembling an excuse for those crimes.

What can I say?  I'm a bastard.

Sincerely (sort of, but modified),
Dok
"Letting a God into your life is like letting "Bob" into your wallet.  It's going to hurt, because they always grab more things that they said they would."
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" Jonas Salk could SHIT ON MY DESK, and I'd still sing his praises.  No more polio kids in iron lungs or wheelchairs.  Jonas Salk did fucking MAD SCIENCE, and the world is a million times better for it."
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LMNO

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Re: I know you don't like excuses, but I have a really good one.
« Reply #1 on: June 12, 2018, 04:51:12 pm »
Is this the kinder, gentler Roger I've been hearing so much about?

Doktor Howl

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Re: I know you don't like excuses, but I have a really good one.
« Reply #2 on: June 12, 2018, 04:57:57 pm »
Is this the kinder, gentler Roger I've been hearing so much about?

No, Roger was killed when he forgot his safe word during the Recent Unpleasantness.

Honestly, people.  When a man comes by to offer a non-excuse, the least you can do is not mistake him for some dead fucker that nobody really liked anyway.  Roger was laid to rest in the great plastic island in the pacific.  By which we mean, "we pushed the stiff out of the cargo door and wouldn't you know he managed to hit dead center."  Horrible, right?  He's basically interred in a mass of disposable diapers and water bottles.  And when the UV finally decays all of that plastic, centuries after we're gone, his immaculate and incorrupt body will just sort of float around like a message in a bottle.  You never know where it's going to turn up, though it won't really be the same if everyone is already dead and there's nobody to traumatize.
"Letting a God into your life is like letting "Bob" into your wallet.  It's going to hurt, because they always grab more things that they said they would."
-Some silly dead bastard in Tucson.

" Jonas Salk could SHIT ON MY DESK, and I'd still sing his praises.  No more polio kids in iron lungs or wheelchairs.  Jonas Salk did fucking MAD SCIENCE, and the world is a million times better for it."
- The same dumbass.

LMNO

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Re: I know you don't like excuses, but I have a really good one.
« Reply #3 on: June 12, 2018, 05:04:55 pm »
Ah, that's right.

I have a good excuse for the mix-up, but it's a secret.

Doktor Howl

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Re: I know you don't like excuses, but I have a really good one.
« Reply #4 on: June 12, 2018, 05:05:55 pm »
Ah, that's right.

I have a good excuse for the mix-up, but it's a secret.

I still think we need to do our own version of The All-Inclusive Excuse™.
"Letting a God into your life is like letting "Bob" into your wallet.  It's going to hurt, because they always grab more things that they said they would."
-Some silly dead bastard in Tucson.

" Jonas Salk could SHIT ON MY DESK, and I'd still sing his praises.  No more polio kids in iron lungs or wheelchairs.  Jonas Salk did fucking MAD SCIENCE, and the world is a million times better for it."
- The same dumbass.

LMNO

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Re: I know you don't like excuses, but I have a really good one.
« Reply #5 on: June 12, 2018, 05:21:57 pm »
Not sure what that is, but if we come up with it, then I'm sure I'll have an excuse why I didn't know about it.

Doktor Howl

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Re: I know you don't like excuses, but I have a really good one.
« Reply #6 on: June 12, 2018, 05:25:40 pm »
Not sure what that is, but if we come up with it, then I'm sure I'll have an excuse why I didn't know about it.

The CotSG has a universal, all-encompassing excuse.  It's like a page long, says nothing, and winds up exonerating the bearer of all responsibility for anything whatsoever.
"Letting a God into your life is like letting "Bob" into your wallet.  It's going to hurt, because they always grab more things that they said they would."
-Some silly dead bastard in Tucson.

" Jonas Salk could SHIT ON MY DESK, and I'd still sing his praises.  No more polio kids in iron lungs or wheelchairs.  Jonas Salk did fucking MAD SCIENCE, and the world is a million times better for it."
- The same dumbass.

LMNO

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Re: I know you don't like excuses, but I have a really good one.
« Reply #7 on: June 12, 2018, 05:56:42 pm »
Oh HO!

Now I'm interested in leveraging my core competencies to do a solve on this mission-critical turnkey solution.

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Re: I know you don't like excuses, but I have a really good one.
« Reply #8 on: June 12, 2018, 06:54:07 pm »
Oh HO!

Now I'm interested in leveraging my core competencies to do a solve on this mission-critical turnkey solution.

I look forward to this.  You do the corporatese, and I'll have my contracts guy (who is one of us incidentally) throw legalese at it as well, and I will explain the SCIENCE.

Other input welcome.
"Letting a God into your life is like letting "Bob" into your wallet.  It's going to hurt, because they always grab more things that they said they would."
-Some silly dead bastard in Tucson.

" Jonas Salk could SHIT ON MY DESK, and I'd still sing his praises.  No more polio kids in iron lungs or wheelchairs.  Jonas Salk did fucking MAD SCIENCE, and the world is a million times better for it."
- The same dumbass.

Junkenstein

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Re: I know you don't like excuses, but I have a really good one.
« Reply #9 on: June 12, 2018, 07:11:34 pm »
Thinly veiled Blatant threats?

Nine naked Men just walking down the road will cause a heap of trouble for all concerned.

Doktor Howl

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Re: I know you don't like excuses, but I have a really good one.
« Reply #10 on: June 12, 2018, 07:19:38 pm »
Thinly veiled Blatant threats?

Only if they're incoherent or so vague as to be meaningless.  Think of it as programmed passive aggressive threats.

Premium mediocrity.
"Letting a God into your life is like letting "Bob" into your wallet.  It's going to hurt, because they always grab more things that they said they would."
-Some silly dead bastard in Tucson.

" Jonas Salk could SHIT ON MY DESK, and I'd still sing his praises.  No more polio kids in iron lungs or wheelchairs.  Jonas Salk did fucking MAD SCIENCE, and the world is a million times better for it."
- The same dumbass.

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Re: I know you don't like excuses, but I have a really good one.
« Reply #11 on: June 13, 2018, 09:13:21 am »
Isn't the clear answer to get some of those to come back, if they wanted to be here?

Sure you and Nigel had your reasons for falling out, conversely you are the two most stubborn people on the planet. Or Brenton, there isn't a bad bone in that lads body, I'm reading his book at the moment and its making me remember the energy and positivity Discordia had when we were really active.
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Re: I know you don't like excuses, but I have a really good one.
« Reply #12 on: June 13, 2018, 11:38:38 am »
Is this the kinder, gentler Roger I've been hearing so much about?

No, Roger was killed when he forgot his safe word during the Recent Unpleasantness.

Honestly, people.  When a man comes by to offer a non-excuse, the least you can do is not mistake him for some dead fucker that nobody really liked anyway.  Roger was laid to rest in the great plastic island in the pacific.  By which we mean, "we pushed the stiff out of the cargo door and wouldn't you know he managed to hit dead center."  Horrible, right?  He's basically interred in a mass of disposable diapers and water bottles.  And when the UV finally decays all of that plastic, centuries after we're gone, his immaculate and incorrupt body will just sort of float around like a message in a bottle.  You never know where it's going to turn up, though it won't really be the same if everyone is already dead and there's nobody to traumatize.

This is sad. Surely all of that back hair is more dangerous to sea life than the entirety of the trash island.
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Re: I know you don't like excuses, but I have a really good one.
« Reply #13 on: June 13, 2018, 01:12:35 pm »
Is this the kinder, gentler Roger I've been hearing so much about?

No, Roger was killed when he forgot his safe word during the Recent Unpleasantness.

Honestly, people.  When a man comes by to offer a non-excuse, the least you can do is not mistake him for some dead fucker that nobody really liked anyway.  Roger was laid to rest in the great plastic island in the pacific.  By which we mean, "we pushed the stiff out of the cargo door and wouldn't you know he managed to hit dead center."  Horrible, right?  He's basically interred in a mass of disposable diapers and water bottles.  And when the UV finally decays all of that plastic, centuries after we're gone, his immaculate and incorrupt body will just sort of float around like a message in a bottle.  You never know where it's going to turn up, though it won't really be the same if everyone is already dead and there's nobody to traumatize.

This is sad. Surely all of that back hair is more dangerous to sea life than the entirety of the trash island.

 :lulz:
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Doktor Howl

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Re: I know you don't like excuses, but I have a really good one.
« Reply #14 on: June 13, 2018, 04:03:44 pm »
Isn't the clear answer to get some of those to come back, if they wanted to be here?

Sure you and Nigel had your reasons for falling out, conversely you are the two most stubborn people on the planet. Or Brenton, there isn't a bad bone in that lads body, I'm reading his book at the moment and its making me remember the energy and positivity Discordia had when we were really active.

Brenton's very first interaction with me, years and years ago when the first few intermittens were happening, was to hand me a really, really nasty slam on my writing.  Polite as hell, but polite the way a pile of rattlesnakes is polite...and it didn't get any better after that.  He may be a nice guy, but I have never seen it.  In fact, from my point of view, there aren't any GOOD bones in his body, either.  He sort of slithers all over the place.

As for Nigel, it's beyond "stubborn" or "angry" or even "hate".  It's just that 9 years of destructive conditioning was plenty, to be honest, and there is no remaining basis for anything resembling friendship or even civility.  Hasn't been any since 2010 if we're being honest about it.  Not to say that Nigel isn't smart, she taught me plenty...Not least of which, she taught me why abused people will keep forgiving their abuser, until one day they don't.  So it's not stubbornness that's the problem.

I'm all about being active, but I am not sure we could be active in exactly the same manner we were active in before.  After all, it was Nigel that slung the million ton ball of shit while I was trying to propose a new form for this board LAST time we talked about being active.
"Letting a God into your life is like letting "Bob" into your wallet.  It's going to hurt, because they always grab more things that they said they would."
-Some silly dead bastard in Tucson.

" Jonas Salk could SHIT ON MY DESK, and I'd still sing his praises.  No more polio kids in iron lungs or wheelchairs.  Jonas Salk did fucking MAD SCIENCE, and the world is a million times better for it."
- The same dumbass.