Author Topic: 'Creative Screwed Me Like a Bitch'  (Read 11802 times)

Great Teacher Largo

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'Creative Screwed Me Like a Bitch'
« on: April 08, 2005, 10:53:57 am »
This is my performance of a one act play.  The original can be viewed here.


Creative Screwed Me Like a Bitch
ACT 1, SCENE 1

The setting is a computer hardware shop.  Rows of parts are on shelves.  Audigy is on a shelf near to the front, looking cute.

Boo enters from stage left, looks around.

Audigy:  Buy me!  I'm ever so sexy, for I output in 7.1 channels, with crystal quality and hardware MP3 encoding and decoding!

Boo:  Audigy, my love!  Come home with me, and together we will sample such marvels of musical delight as none before us have known!

Audigy:  I love you, Boo!

Boo:  I love you, Audigy!

Boo and Audigy exit stage left.

ACT 1, SCENE 2

Boo:  There, my darling, how is that?  It's the PCI slot you wanted, with the greatest cooling, and I even put in a much larger PSU, just incase you had a desire for more juice.  Now, let us sample-

Boo is cut off by Audigy.

Audigy:  LET JESUS FUCK YOU IN THE ASS WITH LLAMAS, SON OF A FRENCH FUCKER!

Audigy begins to trash Boo's computer, playing noise across the PCI Bus.

Hard Drive:  Mein leben!  Nein!  Neeeeein!

Hard Drive head crashes and falls over.

Audigy:  BLARG!  AUUUGH!  YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL, PRIEST!  FUCK ME!

Modem:  Me Necavit Nonne?!

Modem catches fire and burns.

Curtains close.
"Any sufficiently tentacled spheroid is indistinguishable from the Great Cthulhu." -- Watashi

"Never attribute to Cthulhu what can adequately be explained by Dagon." -- Miskatonic Razor

"Everything but Sterility can be inherited.  None of your direct ancestors died childless." -- Red Queen

Note to filmmakers of the future: bad dialog leads to anger, bad directing leads to hatred, shallow action sequences lead to suffering. Farming out a movie to a corporation of computer animators is a path to the dark side of filmmaking.

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Sepia

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'Creative Screwed Me Like a Bitch'
« Reply #1 on: April 08, 2005, 03:57:26 pm »
Audigy sucks.


:)
Everyone will always be too late

Horab Fibslager

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'Creative Screwed Me Like a Bitch'
« Reply #2 on: April 08, 2005, 04:32:27 pm »
my oem ac'97 pwnz j0 overpriced audigy.
Hell is other people.

Lurker

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Re: 'Creative Screwed Me Like a Bitch'
« Reply #3 on: April 08, 2005, 04:41:33 pm »
Quote from: Great Teacher Largo
This is my performance of a one act play.  The original can be viewed here.


Do you EVER shut up?

Bella

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Re: 'Creative Screwed Me Like a Bitch'
« Reply #4 on: April 08, 2005, 04:50:35 pm »
Quote from: Lurker
Quote from: Great Teacher Largo
This is my performance of a one act play.  The original can be viewed here.


Do you EVER shut up?

You're kidding, right?
just like in a dream
you'll open your mouth to scream
and you won't make a sound

you can't believe your eyes
you can't believe your ears
you can't believe your friends
you can't believe you're here

Lurker

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Re: 'Creative Screwed Me Like a Bitch'
« Reply #5 on: April 08, 2005, 04:56:09 pm »
Quote from: SssBella, Oracle of Doom
Quote from: Lurker
Quote from: Great Teacher Largo
This is my performance of a one act play.  The original can be viewed here.


Do you EVER shut up?

You're kidding, right?


No.  Jesus H Christ, why don't you just change the name of the forum to "Largo.com"?

Horab Fibslager

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'Creative Screwed Me Like a Bitch'
« Reply #6 on: April 08, 2005, 04:57:13 pm »
largo already has a website.

http://www.rcaston.com/
RCaston.com :: Now with 5 more mhz


eric.com would be more apprpriate by far.
Hell is other people.

Anonymous

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'Creative Screwed Me Like a Bitch'
« Reply #7 on: April 08, 2005, 04:59:12 pm »
Quote from: horab fibslager
largo already has a website.

http://www.rcaston.com/
RCaston.com :: Now with 5 more mhz


eric.com would be more apprpriate by far.


Whatever.  Does this guy ever sleep?  He posts nonsense in every single thread, and does it all day long.

The fucking retard just won't shut up.  Ever.

Bella

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Re: 'Creative Screwed Me Like a Bitch'
« Reply #8 on: April 08, 2005, 05:00:39 pm »
Quote from: Lurker
Quote from: SssBella, Oracle of Doom
Quote from: Lurker
Quote from: Great Teacher Largo
This is my performance of a one act play.  The original can be viewed here.


Do you EVER shut up?

You're kidding, right?


No.  Jesus H Christ, why don't you just change the name of the forum to "Largo.com"?

I was being sarcastic. He never stops.
just like in a dream
you'll open your mouth to scream
and you won't make a sound

you can't believe your eyes
you can't believe your ears
you can't believe your friends
you can't believe you're here

Anonymous

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Re: 'Creative Screwed Me Like a Bitch'
« Reply #9 on: April 08, 2005, 05:10:14 pm »
Quote from: SssBella, Oracle of Doom
Quote from: Lurker
Quote from: SssBella, Oracle of Doom
Quote from: Lurker
Quote from: Great Teacher Largo
This is my performance of a one act play.  The original can be viewed here.


Do you EVER shut up?

You're kidding, right?


No.  Jesus H Christ, why don't you just change the name of the forum to "Largo.com"?

I was being sarcastic. He never stops.


How do you stand it?

LMNO

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Re: 'Creative Screwed Me Like a Bitch'
« Reply #10 on: April 08, 2005, 05:59:24 pm »
Quote from: Anonymous

How do you stand it?




::shrugs::

I use the best, I use the rest.
I use the enemy
I ingnore inanity!

CORNHOLIO

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Re: 'Creative Screwed Me Like a Bitch'
« Reply #11 on: April 08, 2005, 09:41:17 pm »
Quote from: Anonymous


How do you stand it?

I just pretend he is a teeny tiny little itty bitty gnat and that his words are farts, heh, HEHEHE, heh, then I go have some nachos and crapachino and then my bunghole it goes, rakakakakakaka, heh, heh, heh, then I remember that Roger likes me better then that gnat, heh, or something, or kill me :D
ARE YOU THREATENING ME??? IIII AAAMMMM COOORRRNNNHOOOLLIIOOOOO!!!!!!

Butthead

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Re: 'Creative Screwed Me Like a Bitch'
« Reply #12 on: April 08, 2005, 09:41:46 pm »
Quote from: CORNHOLIO
Quote from: Anonymous


How do you stand it?

I just pretend he is a teeny tiny little itty bitty gnat and that his words are farts, heh, HEHEHE, heh, then I go have some nachos and crapachino and then my bunghole it goes, rakakakakakaka, heh, heh, heh, then I remember that Roger likes me better then that gnat, heh, or something, or kill me :D


Huhuhuhuhuh...

Butthead

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'Creative Screwed Me Like a Bitch'
« Reply #13 on: April 08, 2005, 09:46:25 pm »
This sucks like nothing has ever sucked before.

East Coast Hustle

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'Creative Screwed Me Like a Bitch'
« Reply #14 on: April 08, 2005, 09:57:32 pm »
got that right.
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