Author Topic: The 5 commandments of God  (Read 2827 times)

BADGE OF HONOR

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The 5 commandments of God
« on: July 08, 2005, 06:14:30 pm »
I  YOU SHALL SUFFER, PUNY MORTAL
II  ENJOY YOURSELF, WHILE YOU STILL CAN
III  JUST DON'T GET TOO COMPLACENT
IV  THINK FOR YOURSELF!
V  I NEVER LIKED YOU ANYWAY.
[/b]

I don't worship Eris.  She died with her people millenia ago, and to revive her smacks of neo-paganism (ugh).  But the principle is the same.  God shouldn't be trusted to do what you want, just because you've been good.  That leads to a dependence, which leads to expectations, which leads to the inevitable, "Why!!!" when things go wrong.  The real why is, God might not even exist, and if He* does, you'd better not get his attention, cause he's just as likely to kick you in the ass as to pat you on the head and give you a lolly.  
I'm so sick of these people who depend on their God to do all their thinking for them.  They've got a Bible (or whatever) quote for everything, an aphorism to apply to each situation, and a treachant mindset like a groove in titanium steel.  Righteousness replaces thinking.  Why bother thinking for themselves when they've had people to do it for them for thousands of years?  
But enough complaining.  After all, God will sort them out in the end.  If there is a god.  Atheism is boring, though, so I might as well as believe in something.

I proclaim myself the rabid badger of God.  Guard your ankles well.









*Does gender apply to deities?  "God" and "He" are shorter to type than "Goddess" and "She", plus I don't want any of you getting the wrong idea.  I guess I could say It.  Bah.
The Jerk On Bike rolled his eyes and tossed the waffle back over his shoulder--before it struck the ground, a stout, disconcertingly monkey-like dog sprang into the air and snatched it, and began to masticate it--literally--for the sound it made was like a homonculus squatting on the floor muttering "masticate masticate masticate".

LMNO, PhD (life continues)

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The 5 commandments of God
« Reply #1 on: July 08, 2005, 06:17:35 pm »
I welcome the rabid badger of God, and offer my ankles willingly.


Plus, she's cute as hell, which never hurts (unless you ask nicely).
LMNO
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First Church of Last Exit Before Toll
The Spider Project.

Buy the Chao te Ching, or be doomed forever.

http://www.stonybrook.edu/sb/marburger/index.shtml

"Get offa me, you freaks!  This is not North Korea.  No.  This is America, and I expect to be PAID for that sort of nonsense.  In advance.  No credit...Cash on the barrelhead or GTFO.  I swear to God, there's nothing more annoying than commie perverts who don't understand the intrinsic value of the free market system."

Horab Fibslager

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The 5 commandments of God
« Reply #2 on: July 08, 2005, 06:23:02 pm »
excelent peice kem. may i put this inteh book of ripoff?
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Verthaine

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Re: The 5 commandments of God
« Reply #3 on: July 08, 2005, 06:26:27 pm »
Quote from: Wenchmaster K
I  YOU SHALL SUFFER, PUNY MORTAL
II  ENJOY YOURSELF, WHILE YOU STILL CAN
III  JUST DON'T GET TOO COMPLACENT
IV  THINK FOR YOURSELF!
V  I NEVER LIKED YOU ANYWAY.
[/b]

I don't worship Eris.  She died with her people millenia ago, and to revive her smacks of neo-paganism (ugh).  But the principle is the same.  God shouldn't be trusted to do what you want, just because you've been good.  That leads to a dependence, which leads to expectations, which leads to the inevitable, "Why!!!" when things go wrong.  The real why is, God might not even exist, and if He* does, you'd better not get his attention, cause he's just as likely to kick you in the ass as to pat you on the head and give you a lolly.  
I'm so sick of these people who depend on their God to do all their thinking for them.  They've got a Bible (or whatever) quote for everything, an aphorism to apply to each situation, and a treachant mindset like a groove in titanium steel.  Righteousness replaces thinking.  Why bother thinking for themselves when they've had people to do it for them for thousands of years?  
But enough complaining.  After all, God will sort them out in the end.  If there is a god.  Atheism is boring, though, so I might as well as believe in something.

I proclaim myself the rabid badger of God.  Guard your ankles well.









*Does gender apply to deities?  "God" and "He" are shorter to type than "Goddess" and "She", plus I don't want any of you getting the wrong idea.  I guess I could say It.  Bah.


Eris wasn't revived,because chaos never died.  tMal-2 and Omar did update her though. The taoists where discordians,just under a different name.Eris is the "Mysterious Woman of the Valley"written about in the "Tao Te ChingThey had something like taoism in mind,rather then just the usual neo-pagan revivalism.How you veiw the Supreme Multiversal Oneness Is between you and the Supreme Multiversal Oneness.I have aleays had a very intense love affair with Eris.I can match any xtian in having the" fire inside".
Vincent Sebastian Verthaine, K.S.C.
Omni-Belevolent Poly- Father of Hedonism In Black of The Erisian Holy City of the Discordian Parish of New Orleans.

Goddess-Son of Sssbela,Prophetess of Doom

Pastor of the Church of Eris,New Orleans

BADGE OF HONOR

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The 5 commandments of God
« Reply #4 on: July 08, 2005, 06:40:26 pm »
Thanks, Horab.  God wouldn't leave me alone last night till I wrote this shit down.

It's all about names, Verthaine.  To me, Eris is Eris, Greek Goddes of Chaos, She what started the Trojan War.  And since neo-pagans are my divine enemies, I won't do anything that faintly resembles their pathetic whinings.  I think the Jews had it right, God's pretty damn inexpressible and shouldn't be named.  Not that it stops me from blaspheming all the time, God damn it.
The Jerk On Bike rolled his eyes and tossed the waffle back over his shoulder--before it struck the ground, a stout, disconcertingly monkey-like dog sprang into the air and snatched it, and began to masticate it--literally--for the sound it made was like a homonculus squatting on the floor muttering "masticate masticate masticate".

LMNO, PhD (life continues)

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The 5 commandments of God
« Reply #5 on: July 08, 2005, 06:50:16 pm »
"God damn it" seems to be more of a request than a blaspheme...
LMNO
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First Church of Last Exit Before Toll
The Spider Project.

Buy the Chao te Ching, or be doomed forever.

http://www.stonybrook.edu/sb/marburger/index.shtml

"Get offa me, you freaks!  This is not North Korea.  No.  This is America, and I expect to be PAID for that sort of nonsense.  In advance.  No credit...Cash on the barrelhead or GTFO.  I swear to God, there's nothing more annoying than commie perverts who don't understand the intrinsic value of the free market system."

BADGE OF HONOR

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The 5 commandments of God
« Reply #6 on: July 08, 2005, 06:55:33 pm »
Taking God's name in vain?  Calling upon Him for totally useless shit?  Attracting His attention when you don't really want it?  Sounds pretty blasphemous to me.
The Jerk On Bike rolled his eyes and tossed the waffle back over his shoulder--before it struck the ground, a stout, disconcertingly monkey-like dog sprang into the air and snatched it, and began to masticate it--literally--for the sound it made was like a homonculus squatting on the floor muttering "masticate masticate masticate".

LMNO, PhD (life continues)

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The 5 commandments of God
« Reply #7 on: July 08, 2005, 06:59:49 pm »
Ok then.


If the Badger speaks, the Badger speaks wisdom.
LMNO
Pope/Wrought Iron Instigator
First Church of Last Exit Before Toll
The Spider Project.

Buy the Chao te Ching, or be doomed forever.

http://www.stonybrook.edu/sb/marburger/index.shtml

"Get offa me, you freaks!  This is not North Korea.  No.  This is America, and I expect to be PAID for that sort of nonsense.  In advance.  No credit...Cash on the barrelhead or GTFO.  I swear to God, there's nothing more annoying than commie perverts who don't understand the intrinsic value of the free market system."

Hoopla

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The 5 commandments of God
« Reply #8 on: July 08, 2005, 07:02:43 pm »
Quote from: Rabid Badger of God
Taking God's name in vain?  Calling upon Him for totally useless shit?  Attracting His attention when you don't really want it?  Sounds pretty blasphemous to me.


A good god would always have time for his or her subjects.  If a god is truly omnipotent then he or she should always have plenty of time for eveything.

Assuming you are wasting a god's time is to underestimate their powers.

At least, that's how I see it.
"I contradict myself?  Very well then, I contradict myself; I am large - I contain multitudes."  -Walt Whitman

BADGE OF HONOR

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The 5 commandments of God
« Reply #9 on: July 08, 2005, 07:12:55 pm »
Didn't I just say God shouldn't be trusted?  Sure, I can pray to Him, if I want to risk getting shouted at.  Or worse.  God should be a last resort, not a means to an end.
The Jerk On Bike rolled his eyes and tossed the waffle back over his shoulder--before it struck the ground, a stout, disconcertingly monkey-like dog sprang into the air and snatched it, and began to masticate it--literally--for the sound it made was like a homonculus squatting on the floor muttering "masticate masticate masticate".

Shibboleet The Annihilator

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The 5 commandments of God
« Reply #10 on: July 08, 2005, 07:32:26 pm »
HOLY SHIT!! A TALKING BADGER!!!

BADGE OF HONOR

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The 5 commandments of God
« Reply #11 on: July 08, 2005, 07:33:40 pm »
RRRAGGH, I SNACK UPON YOUR TOES.
The Jerk On Bike rolled his eyes and tossed the waffle back over his shoulder--before it struck the ground, a stout, disconcertingly monkey-like dog sprang into the air and snatched it, and began to masticate it--literally--for the sound it made was like a homonculus squatting on the floor muttering "masticate masticate masticate".

Horab Fibslager

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The 5 commandments of God
« Reply #12 on: July 08, 2005, 07:48:20 pm »
hmm, suddenyl reminded of a certain inn located in the illian of wheel of time books.

...easing the badger.

maybe it was a portent. :mrgreen:

i say god damnit, because being wise, i know nto to call unwanted attention tomyself from She Who smacked down heathen troy.
Hell is other people.

BADGE OF HONOR

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The 5 commandments of God
« Reply #13 on: July 08, 2005, 09:10:29 pm »
Well, hell.  I never should have opened my big mouth.  I have been given two slaps upside the head in the space of half an hour...
The Jerk On Bike rolled his eyes and tossed the waffle back over his shoulder--before it struck the ground, a stout, disconcertingly monkey-like dog sprang into the air and snatched it, and began to masticate it--literally--for the sound it made was like a homonculus squatting on the floor muttering "masticate masticate masticate".

Horab Fibslager

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The 5 commandments of God
« Reply #14 on: July 08, 2005, 09:13:31 pm »
did flatware fly out of the shelving?

cuz that happened to me once, right after prayer. man that sucked.
Hell is other people.