Author Topic: Give us your best philosophy joke  (Read 17665 times)

The Wizard Joseph

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Re: Give us your best philosophy joke
« Reply #75 on: February 07, 2015, 06:07:49 am »
What's the difference between a Satanist and a Luciferian?

Mostly how comfortable you are with a tie.

Thank you for being so... discerning :lulz:

I do live for the subtletease.
I try to relegate them knot.
I'm (k)not known as slow to tie one on. #actuallydrunkatthetime

Gosh you're much more fun than the psych ward Lucifer I met that one time... uhm @ bandcamp. All I remember of the encounter is that he could shoot a fair game of billiards and was otherwise not too terribly fun.
He made QUITE an impression on me but otherwise damn if I can remember what we talked about in particular.
I remember joking quite a bit some of it very mean, after my fashion. I remember it took him a while to loosen up socially despite that he had gone out of his way to invite me to play with him in the rec room.

I'm not comfortable with the memory gap but hey, it was bandcamp and there were drugs heavily involved for most of us.

How's that for a philosophy joke?

If you meet the local Lucifer but don't remember the conversation did you really take your pills that day? Were they really yours before you took them? Is it wrong to tease about Socrates' drinking problem and lifelong question habit? Is four questions too many? Is there REALLY a five?


Mmmmm... it's name is Java Lava from a local craft brewery and I  love  it!
You can't get out backward.  You have to go forward to go back.. better press on! - Willie Wonka, PBUH

Life can be seen as a game with no reset button, no extra lives, and if the power goes out there is no restarting.  If that's all you see life as you are not long for this world, and never will get it.

"Ayn Rand never swung a hammer in her life and had serious dominance issues" - The Fountainhead

"World domination is such an ugly phrase. I prefer to call it world optimisation."
 - Harry Potter and the Methods of Rationality :lulz:

LuciferX

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Re: Give us your best philosophy joke
« Reply #76 on: February 07, 2015, 08:02:33 pm »
What's the difference between a Satanist and a Luciferian?

Mostly how comfortable you are with a tie.

Thank you for being so... discerning :lulz:

I do live for the subtletease.
I try to relegate them knot.
I'm (k)not known as slow to tie one on. #actuallydrunkatthetime

Gosh you're much more fun than the psych ward Lucifer I met that one time... uhm @ bandcamp. All I remember of the encounter is that he could shoot a fair game of billiards and was otherwise not too terribly fun.
He made QUITE an impression on me but otherwise damn if I can remember what we talked about in particular.
I remember joking quite a bit some of it very mean, after my fashion. I remember it took him a while to loosen up socially despite that he had gone out of his way to invite me to play with him in the rec room.

I'm not comfortable with the memory gap but hey, it was bandcamp and there were drugs heavily involved for most of us.

How's that for a philosophy joke?

If you meet the local Lucifer but don't remember the conversation did you really take your pills that day? Were they really yours before you took them? Is it wrong to tease about Socrates' drinking problem and lifelong question habit? Is four questions too many? Is there REALLY a five?


Mmmmm... it's name is Java Lava from a local craft brewery and I  love  it!

Sounds about right.  IIRC, during the game I went to get some cash round the bar and then accidentally hit my knee cutting back to the pool table.  Hurt like hell and I was trying to play it cool.  But, there I go, playing devil's advocate again. Very hazy. I think the event spawned all kinds of mayhem when I introduced myself as "Legion" to the peg-legged Pirate that I had mistaken for the owner of that fine establishment.  The rest is all liability.
Hic Salta?
________
Constant Eso-Opthamologist of Elicited Stopped-Clock Illusions, brings it back, or sinners just repent______

The Wizard Joseph

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Re: Give us your best philosophy joke
« Reply #77 on: February 08, 2015, 01:48:43 am »
What's the difference between a Satanist and a Luciferian?

Mostly how comfortable you are with a tie.

Thank you for being so... discerning :lulz:

I do live for the subtletease.
I try to relegate them knot.
I'm (k)not known as slow to tie one on. #actuallydrunkatthetime

Gosh you're much more fun than the psych ward Lucifer I met that one time... uhm @ bandcamp. All I remember of the encounter is that he could shoot a fair game of billiards and was otherwise not too terribly fun.
He made QUITE an impression on me but otherwise damn if I can remember what we talked about in particular.
I remember joking quite a bit some of it very mean, after my fashion. I remember it took him a while to loosen up socially despite that he had gone out of his way to invite me to play with him in the rec room.

I'm not comfortable with the memory gap but hey, it was bandcamp and there were drugs heavily involved for most of us.

How's that for a philosophy joke?

If you meet the local Lucifer but don't remember the conversation did you really take your pills that day? Were they really yours before you took them? Is it wrong to tease about Socrates' drinking problem and lifelong question habit? Is four questions too many? Is there REALLY a five?


Mmmmm... it's name is Java Lava from a local craft brewery and I  love  it!

Sounds about right.  IIRC, during the game I went to get some cash round the bar and then accidentally hit my knee cutting back to the pool table.  Hurt like hell and I was trying to play it cool.  But, there I go, playing devil's advocate again. Very hazy. I think the event spawned all kinds of mayhem when I introduced myself as "Legion" to the peg-legged Pirate that I had mistaken for the owner of that fine establishment.  The rest is all liability.

Hi we are Legion and we've just injured this fleshbag we're riding in on your property and need your insurance info. Now.

Fun convo! :lulz:
You can't get out backward.  You have to go forward to go back.. better press on! - Willie Wonka, PBUH

Life can be seen as a game with no reset button, no extra lives, and if the power goes out there is no restarting.  If that's all you see life as you are not long for this world, and never will get it.

"Ayn Rand never swung a hammer in her life and had serious dominance issues" - The Fountainhead

"World domination is such an ugly phrase. I prefer to call it world optimisation."
 - Harry Potter and the Methods of Rationality :lulz:

Chelagoras The Boulder

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Re: Give us your best philosophy joke
« Reply #78 on: February 08, 2015, 04:08:49 am »
"It isn't who you know, it's who you know, if you know what I mean.  And I think you do."

Prelate Diogenes Shandor

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Re: Give us your best philosophy joke
« Reply #79 on: February 08, 2015, 08:29:48 am »
Q.) What do you call a hip-hop artist who teaches people using a series of guided questionsto expose contradictions and lead people to tenable conclusions?
A.) Socratic Method Man

EDIT:

Q.) How many angels can dance on the head of a pin?
A.) No soap, radio.

EDIT:

If they dug up David Hume would that make him "David exhume"?

EDIT:

If they dug up David Hume would that make him "David exhume"
« Last Edit: February 10, 2015, 07:17:04 am by Prelate Diogenes Shandor »
Praise NHGH! For the tribulation of all sentient beings.

a plague on both your houses -Mercutio

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zrTGgpWmdZQ
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rVWd7nPjJH8

It is an unfortunate fact that every man who seeks to disseminate knowledge must contend not only against ignorance itself, but against false instruction as well. No sooner do we deem ourselves free from a particularly gross superstition, than we are confronted by some enemy to learning who would plunge us back into the darkness -H.P.Lovecraft

He who fights with monsters must take care lest he thereby become a monster -Nietzsche

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SHhrZgojY1Q

You are a fluke of the universe, and whether you can hear it of not the universe is laughing behind your back -Deteriorata

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Prelate Diogenes Shandor

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Re: Give us your best philosophy joke
« Reply #80 on: February 10, 2015, 07:23:58 am »
That Lao Tzu is one hoopy frood who really knows where his Tao is.

EDIT:

Q.) How many angels can dance on the head of a pin?
A.) Do I look like the fire marshal to you!?
« Last Edit: February 13, 2015, 07:45:39 am by Prelate Diogenes Shandor »
Praise NHGH! For the tribulation of all sentient beings.

a plague on both your houses -Mercutio

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zrTGgpWmdZQ
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rVWd7nPjJH8

It is an unfortunate fact that every man who seeks to disseminate knowledge must contend not only against ignorance itself, but against false instruction as well. No sooner do we deem ourselves free from a particularly gross superstition, than we are confronted by some enemy to learning who would plunge us back into the darkness -H.P.Lovecraft

He who fights with monsters must take care lest he thereby become a monster -Nietzsche

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SHhrZgojY1Q

You are a fluke of the universe, and whether you can hear it of not the universe is laughing behind your back -Deteriorata

Don't use the email address in my profile, I lost the password years ago

Prelate Diogenes Shandor

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Re: Give us your best philosophy joke
« Reply #81 on: February 21, 2015, 06:55:35 am »
Q.) What do you call an unimpressive Greek philosopher?
A.) Mediocrates
Praise NHGH! For the tribulation of all sentient beings.

a plague on both your houses -Mercutio

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zrTGgpWmdZQ
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rVWd7nPjJH8

It is an unfortunate fact that every man who seeks to disseminate knowledge must contend not only against ignorance itself, but against false instruction as well. No sooner do we deem ourselves free from a particularly gross superstition, than we are confronted by some enemy to learning who would plunge us back into the darkness -H.P.Lovecraft

He who fights with monsters must take care lest he thereby become a monster -Nietzsche

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SHhrZgojY1Q

You are a fluke of the universe, and whether you can hear it of not the universe is laughing behind your back -Deteriorata

Don't use the email address in my profile, I lost the password years ago

axod

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Re: Give us your best philosophy joke
« Reply #82 on: February 21, 2015, 09:28:36 am »
Q.) What do you call an unimpressive Greek philosopher?
A.) Mediocrates
:lulz: except when when his mediocrity was also mediocre.
Then he would become...  Remediocrates.
just this

The Wizard Joseph

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Re: Give us your best philosophy joke
« Reply #83 on: February 21, 2015, 04:19:30 pm »
So a man is being interviewed by a potential employer and the interview has gone well and is winding down. The interviewer asks the prospect, "What would you say is your greatest weakness as an employee?"

The man thinks a moment and says, "I'm totally honest with people."

The interviewer blinks and says, "I don't think that's really a weakness."

"I don't give a fuck what you think."
You can't get out backward.  You have to go forward to go back.. better press on! - Willie Wonka, PBUH

Life can be seen as a game with no reset button, no extra lives, and if the power goes out there is no restarting.  If that's all you see life as you are not long for this world, and never will get it.

"Ayn Rand never swung a hammer in her life and had serious dominance issues" - The Fountainhead

"World domination is such an ugly phrase. I prefer to call it world optimisation."
 - Harry Potter and the Methods of Rationality :lulz:

Mesozoic Mister Nigel

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Re: Give us your best philosophy joke
« Reply #84 on: February 22, 2015, 02:21:12 am »
So a man is being interviewed by a potential employer and the interview has gone well and is winding down. The interviewer asks the prospect, "What would you say is your greatest weakness as an employee?"

The man thinks a moment and says, "I'm totally honest with people."

The interviewer blinks and says, "I don't think that's really a weakness."

"I don't give a fuck what you think."

 :lulz:
“I’m guessing it was January 2007, a meeting in Bethesda, we got a bag of bees and just started smashing them on the desk,” Charles Wick said. “It was very complicated.”


axod

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Re: Give us your best philosophy joke
« Reply #85 on: February 22, 2015, 03:29:38 am »
So a man is being interviewed by a potential employer and the interview has gone well and is winding down. The interviewer asks the prospect, "What would you say is your greatest weakness as an employee?"

The man thinks a moment and says, "I'm totally honest with people."

The interviewer blinks and says, "I don't think that's really a weakness."

"I don't give a fuck what you think."
:lulz: :lulz: I like that alot!
just this

The Wizard Joseph

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Re: Give us your best philosophy joke
« Reply #86 on: February 22, 2015, 11:27:53 am »
 :thanks:
You can't get out backward.  You have to go forward to go back.. better press on! - Willie Wonka, PBUH

Life can be seen as a game with no reset button, no extra lives, and if the power goes out there is no restarting.  If that's all you see life as you are not long for this world, and never will get it.

"Ayn Rand never swung a hammer in her life and had serious dominance issues" - The Fountainhead

"World domination is such an ugly phrase. I prefer to call it world optimisation."
 - Harry Potter and the Methods of Rationality :lulz:

Q. G. Pennyworth

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Re: Give us your best philosophy joke
« Reply #87 on: February 22, 2015, 09:42:43 pm »
So a man is being interviewed by a potential employer and the interview has gone well and is winding down. The interviewer asks the prospect, "What would you say is your greatest weakness as an employee?"

The man thinks a moment and says, "I'm totally honest with people."

The interviewer blinks and says, "I don't think that's really a weakness."

"I don't give a fuck what you think."
:lulz: :lulz: I like that alot!



(sorry)
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Reginald Ret

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Re: Give us your best philosophy joke
« Reply #88 on: February 22, 2015, 10:28:51 pm »
So a man is being interviewed by a potential employer and the interview has gone well and is winding down. The interviewer asks the prospect, "What would you say is your greatest weakness as an employee?"

The man thinks a moment and says, "I'm totally honest with people."

The interviewer blinks and says, "I don't think that's really a weakness."

"I don't give a fuck what you think."
Hah yeah! I like that one, it used to hang on my wall at work.

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Nigel saying the wisest words ever uttered: "It's just a suffix."

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Re: Give us your best philosophy joke
« Reply #89 on: February 23, 2015, 09:54:56 pm »
So a man is being interviewed by a potential employer and the interview has gone well and is winding down. The interviewer asks the prospect, "What would you say is your greatest weakness as an employee?"

The man thinks a moment and says, "I'm totally honest with people."

The interviewer blinks and says, "I don't think that's really a weakness."

"I don't give a fuck what you think."
:lulz: :lulz: I like that alot!



(sorry)

 :lulz:
“I’m guessing it was January 2007, a meeting in Bethesda, we got a bag of bees and just started smashing them on the desk,” Charles Wick said. “It was very complicated.”