Author Topic: Give us your best philosophy joke  (Read 17601 times)

Malaclypse the Tertiary

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Give us your best philosophy joke
« on: September 06, 2005, 10:43:10 am »
Once there was a student of a Guru, who was always asking his master for a hit of the great stuff he was on- but the Master always said no.

Then one night, the Master decided to give the studen a chance. He sent the student home, then dressed in rags, smeared shit on his face, and followed his pupil screaming "DRINK MY PISS! DRINK MY PISS!"

The student was frightened and ran. The Master ran after him still screaming, "DRINK MY PISS! DRINK MY PISS!" Finnaly he cornered the student, but the boy punched him and got away.

If only the student had realized- The drug passed through the urine.
So he missed his chance.

Bu-dum-bum- ching!
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the other anonymous

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Give us your best philosophy joke
« Reply #1 on: September 06, 2005, 11:35:56 am »
Best philosophy joke ever:

Logic.

Chaplin_Sinatra_Fonzarell

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« Reply #2 on: September 06, 2005, 02:50:19 pm »
Heisenberg is riding in the navigator's seat of Schr??dinger's car, and a cat jumps out in the middle of the road and Schr??dinger slams on the brakes. The car zooms over the cat. Schr??dinger says "Jesus, did I kill that cat?" Heisenberg says "It is uncertain".

What, no, that's more of a physics joke, plus it's unfunny
Chaplin Sinatra Fonzarelli, G.G.L.F., C.L.F., L.F.L.F., R.M.S.T.A., R.P.C.V., N.C.c., T.R.R.R., W.I.T.C.H., W.P.P., V.P.D.F.Y.S., S.C.U.M., I.G.R.S.A.F.D.S.K.S.K.J.J.J.S.Y.Y.D.F.D.K.D.S.F.K .S.D.K.J.L.K.F.G.K.S.D.G.G.J.R.J.S.T.S and other various divisions of the Maude Senger cabal of the Pantheo-Anametamystikhood of Eris Esoteric, and President for Life of the Holy Empire of Ayatollah Discordiolla

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East Coast Hustle

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« Reply #3 on: September 06, 2005, 03:22:43 pm »
d'you hear about the buddhist that refused novocaine when he got a root canal?



he wanted to transcend dental medication.

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The Devil is in the details; God is in the nuance.


Some yahoo yelled at me, saying 'GIVE ME LIBERTY OR GIVE ME DEATH', and I thought, "I'm feeling generous today.  Why not BOTH?"

East Coast Hustle

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« Reply #4 on: September 06, 2005, 03:23:21 pm »
d'you hear about the buddhist vaccum cleaner?








it comes with no attachments.


 8)
Rabid Colostomy Hole Jammer of the Coming Apocalypse™

The Devil is in the details; God is in the nuance.


Some yahoo yelled at me, saying 'GIVE ME LIBERTY OR GIVE ME DEATH', and I thought, "I'm feeling generous today.  Why not BOTH?"

East Coast Hustle

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« Reply #5 on: September 06, 2005, 03:23:59 pm »
what did the buddhist say to the hot dog vendor?



















"make me one with everything."

 8)
Rabid Colostomy Hole Jammer of the Coming Apocalypse™

The Devil is in the details; God is in the nuance.


Some yahoo yelled at me, saying 'GIVE ME LIBERTY OR GIVE ME DEATH', and I thought, "I'm feeling generous today.  Why not BOTH?"

Cain

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« Reply #6 on: September 06, 2005, 03:25:47 pm »
What did the hot dog tender reply when the buddhist asked for his change?




















Change must come from within

Chaplin_Sinatra_Fonzarell

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« Reply #7 on: September 06, 2005, 04:07:20 pm »
what did the Discordian say to the hot dog vendor?
Nothing, because the Discordian only had 50 cents and a bus pass.
Chaplin Sinatra Fonzarelli, G.G.L.F., C.L.F., L.F.L.F., R.M.S.T.A., R.P.C.V., N.C.c., T.R.R.R., W.I.T.C.H., W.P.P., V.P.D.F.Y.S., S.C.U.M., I.G.R.S.A.F.D.S.K.S.K.J.J.J.S.Y.Y.D.F.D.K.D.S.F.K .S.D.K.J.L.K.F.G.K.S.D.G.G.J.R.J.S.T.S and other various divisions of the Maude Senger cabal of the Pantheo-Anametamystikhood of Eris Esoteric, and President for Life of the Holy Empire of Ayatollah Discordiolla

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agent compassion

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« Reply #8 on: September 06, 2005, 04:07:21 pm »
:lol:  :lol:  :lol:  :lol:  :lol:

I like the one from the PD about the monk who got the contents of the upstairs toilet on his head...and the passerby says "Who is that man?" and other passerby says "Some say he's a holy man, others say he's a shithead."

 :P

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LMNO

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« Reply #9 on: September 06, 2005, 04:11:20 pm »
Quote from: Chaplin_Sinatra_Fonzarell
what did the Discordian say to the hot dog vendor?
Nothing, because the Discordian only had 50 cents and a bus pass.



Quote from: Dr Dre
What ever happened to falling in love with a nigga with a bus pass?

Mangrove

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« Reply #10 on: September 06, 2005, 07:20:22 pm »
Why do anarchists drink herbal tea?













Because property is theft.
What makes it so? Making it so is what makes it so.

Iron Sulfide

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« Reply #11 on: September 06, 2005, 07:49:48 pm »
i'm sticking with


AYURVEDAS ARE BELONG TO US
Ya' stupid Yank.

Malaclypse the Tertiary

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« Reply #12 on: September 07, 2005, 09:13:04 pm »
Wheeeeeeeee!
and Ah-ha ha ha ha ha. to all

The Bob Dole Forum index deffinately gets a nod.
Malaclypse the Tertiary, KSGI
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and High, Wholy Abjermed of Head Temple,
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Shibboleet The Annihilator

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« Reply #13 on: September 07, 2005, 09:19:23 pm »
Quote from: the other anonymous
Best philosophy joke ever:

Logic.




Fuck you Tripod!


unlike_someone

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« Reply #14 on: September 08, 2005, 12:28:38 am »
Descartes walks into a caf?© and sits down ready to order. A
waiter comes up to him and asks, "Do you need a menu?"
Descartes replies, "I think not," and he disappears!
- some inertly chaotic chick

   "I don't kill flies but I like to mess with their minds. I hold them above globes. They freak out and yell, 'Whoa, I'm way too high!' " --Bruce Baum