So I've been here a little while, and apparently have been approved by customers as tough as TGRR. I've had enough time to observes something that looks odd to me. (And no, this isn't about forum strife.)
In yesterday's braindump, I basically gave my life history as it pertains to Our Glorious Topic. This one continues from there, in some sense.
Once I rediscovered the Principia, and had it click for me, I did the obvious thing - wen't butt-nutty for all the Discordiana I could find. I was already reading
Illuminatus!, check. I googled a bunch, found the Apocrypha and Verthaine's book. Found the front page of PD.com, and then the forums. I didn't sign up then, but I did look around a bit, and I saw Synaptyx's sig banner ("dry humped", indeed). This sent me on a wild chase after the Summa, and then a read through the Metaclysmia and Zenarchist's Cookbook on the backhand stroke. I put one of the PD.com wallpaper offerings (the one without the words on it) on my Mac laptop, in order to confuse my officemates. It remains there to this day, in spite of my not really appreciating it much as artwork. I find it appropriate that the Golden Apple in it is clearly inspired by the Apple Computer apple (look at the stem).
In short, I went obsessionary. Nothing unexpected there. I digested it all and didn't even need any Pepto. I made cryptic, unoriginal comments to my cow-orkers and on non-Discordian boards. I annoyed my flatmate about all kinds of trivia, and browbeat her into reading the Principia. (Ok, so I still annoy her about it, and did so about every other crap thing I got into. She puts up with a lot.)
I got my n00bness out of my system before coming here where yunz would call my bluff. (Thus avoiding one of Mal3's and MoC's biggest mistakes.) I came back here and signed up. A week later I actually started to post.
But then, I had a
problem. Discordia and Discordianism were easy for me,
Discordians were not. Real interpersonal interaction that actually involved me having to think, and even more so, to have to
follow up my thoughts. Normal people don't want me to elaborate on what I come up with. One little bit is enough to get them really turned off. You guys
get it, and that makes me go all "emo kid" inside. *sniff*
There is no substitute for fitting in somewhere, even if you hate the idea. Like I said in another thread:
Do whatever it was you were going to do, before you let these other folks get you into a reactionary stance. This isn't a pissing contest, it's a funhouse. Just play. And if you do your own thing and it still doesn't go over well, I'd say you're just in the wrong place. If it's not for you and you fake it anyway, you have no fun. If it's not for you and you don't fake it, nobody else has any fun. Either way, what's the point?
(This is the other mistake that MoC and Mal3 are making. Much less their faults, though.) I guess I let MoC get me too worked up, and I shot my wad before I could get it polished up into this post. What can I say, premature ejaculation sucks.
So what next? I get obsessionary about this forum, of course! Get eyestrain headaches and stay up way too late. Actually write stuff like this - my flatmate is a writer and has been trying to pump me for output for
years. Get confused (abused?) by Roger. Get nostalgic for the old days that I wasn't even here for, WTF?
Time flows differently in message boards than it does in real life. (This is the "odd thing" I mentioned up top. Think of your first post. Feels like a long time ago, doesn't it? Ok, now stop and think of what you were doing in real life when you joined this board. Just a little while ago, right? What's up with that? Me, I think it's all part of the "computer curse". Was it really that long ago that you had a 486? Probably not, just feels like it. And how about that Moore's Law, eh? Maybe
Vernor Vinge is on to something...
*Stares off into space worrying about gray goo scenarios*
...
Oh yeah, my flatmate? She's not Discordian. She
does seem to get it, just not go for it. I rarely have people disagree with me once they actually understand. But she's just contrary.
I've been many things: I was raised Catholic, then I went agnostic, then atheist, and on to many kinds of nonsense, from Kantian to Randite, then on to Chaos Magick (yeah, my speel chcker is busted), Satanism, hard-core Skepticism, and weirder shit. (Never tried Subgenius, since I somehow manage to fail the one entrance requirement. Whatever.) Discordianism is
special. (Like Doubtless Incident's avatar or something.) It's the only one that I didn't get reproached by her for. I must be on to something.
(My flatmate is the prominent Moderator "sunandshadow" over at
http://www.gamedev.net. So if you hang around there, say hi. Or troll her, if you prefer. I'm signed up as "Kallisti" over there since some British asshat who never posts took "ataraxia" about 5 years ago. I never post either - and remember, obvious Discordian references are
creative over there.)
Ok, I think I'm done. And I will probably spare yunz any more rants until at least the weekend, since I have a day job. Will write normal posts, though. Fire away. Grr, arrgh, no apologists here.
