Author Topic: Contest Entry: Discordianism, the emotional crutch of fags  (Read 4669 times)

Jack Chick

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Contest Entry: Discordianism, the emotional crutch of fags
« on: October 18, 2005, 07:57:13 am »
Discordianism is a disgusting, moronic, unspeakably puerile haven of urine-, feces-, menstrual blood-, and smegma-drenched hippies who want a smarmy umbrella for their perversely theosophical mesh of half-baked philosophies for them to giggle about in between plastic Mountain Dew bottle bong hits as they feel up each others' grimy, pudgy bodies. It's main philosophical tenet consists something about chaos being good, but who gives a fuck? It's just an excuse for them to feel like both profound, enlightened gurus and self-righteous socio-political revolutionaries for shoplifting from Stucky's, spray painting "LOL ERIS" on the sidewalk, going days without showering, and posting gibberish on message boards. All you need to know about Discordians is that they'll be sharing a boiling vat of horse dung with Stalin as devils poke them with red hot pitchforks for all eternity as they whine for mercy, wondering why God didn't think their lame puns plagiarized from the Marx brothers were funny as they stood before Him in judgment.

Why do Discordians torment our Savior by worshipping the abominable devils of heathen gods? That is a mystery but their matron demoness is the Whore of Babylon, a.k.a. Eris, who is an anime character that thery enjoy masturbating to as they gargle blood to spit on the crucifix with, in their parentsé─˘ diongy basement filled with Star Trek paraphernalia, books on philosophy they havené─˘t actually read, Nintendo games, the wrappers of junk food, and a cloudy haze of marijuana smoke as Cartoon Network shrieks in the background. Like all chubby, pale computer nerds, they get together every week and play Dungeons and Dragons to cast spells and call themselves witches, although some of them pretend to be above this, but not above wasting their lives away on a worthless message board filled with the worthless opinions of nobodies.

Cain

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Contest Entry: Discordianism, the emotional crutch of fags
« Reply #1 on: October 18, 2005, 08:12:35 am »
I am Cain and I approve this oversimplification and ridiculing of religious beliefs.

Zurtok Khan

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Contest Entry: Discordianism, the emotional crutch of fags
« Reply #2 on: October 18, 2005, 08:22:23 am »
Two thumbs up!
Resistance is Fertile.

Always acknowledge a fault. This will throw those in authority off their guard and give you an opportunity to commit more.
-Mark Twain

I thoroughly disapprove of duels. If a man should challenge me, I would take him kindly and forgivingly by the hand and lead him to a quiet place and kill him.
-Mark Twain

Rev. St. Syn, KSC

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Contest Entry: Discordianism, the emotional crutch of fags
« Reply #3 on: October 18, 2005, 11:00:00 am »
Stoeled, and fuck you Chick, for not shitting this on poee too. :P
~Rev. St. Syn, KSC
Outlandishness, n. A method of distinction so cheap that fools employ it to accentuate their incapacity.

Issarlk

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Contest Entry: Discordianism, the emotional crutch of fags
« Reply #4 on: October 18, 2005, 12:44:41 pm »
I'm not fat!  *cries*
CLF

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Contest Entry: Discordianism, the emotional crutch of fags
« Reply #5 on: October 18, 2005, 07:13:26 pm »
Jack Chick = best author evar?

Cole Frehlen

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Contest Entry: Discordianism, the emotional crutch of fags
« Reply #6 on: October 18, 2005, 07:25:27 pm »
Especially his Cthulhu tract!

The Good Reverend Roger

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Contest Entry: Discordianism, the emotional crutch of fags
« Reply #7 on: October 19, 2005, 02:06:26 am »
I think we have our winner.
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
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BADGE OF HONOR

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Contest Entry: Discordianism, the emotional crutch of fags
« Reply #8 on: October 19, 2005, 03:10:45 am »
Quote
All you need to know about Discordians is that they'll be sharing a boiling vat of horse dung with Stalin as devils poke them with red hot pitchforks for all eternity as they whine for mercy, wondering why God didn't think their lame puns plagiarized from the Marx brothers were funny as they stood before Him in judgment.

That's a good image.
The Jerk On Bike rolled his eyes and tossed the waffle back over his shoulder--before it struck the ground, a stout, disconcertingly monkey-like dog sprang into the air and snatched it, and began to masticate it--literally--for the sound it made was like a homonculus squatting on the floor muttering "masticate masticate masticate".

Irreverend Hugh, KSC

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Contest Entry: Discordianism, the emotional crutch of fags
« Reply #9 on: October 19, 2005, 07:46:31 pm »
Jack Chick,

You hit the nail on the head.

It's because we like tormenting your savior.

You see, we hate hippies, and your savior, good sir, was the founder of Hippiedom what with all that "turn the other cheek" "peace" "god is love" crappola. I mean, come the fuck on. "Dying for the sins of mankind." What Kind OF Shtick Is THAT? I say, let the sinners burn and rot. Fuck 'em if they missed the joke.
"Time for the tin-foil hats, girls and boys!"

Jack Chick

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Contest Entry: Discordianism, the emotional crutch of fags
« Reply #10 on: October 20, 2005, 02:18:51 am »
Quote from: Irreverend Death to Poultry, KSC
Jack Chick,

You hit the nail on the head.

It's because we like tormenting your savior.

You see, we hate hippies, and your savior, good sir, was the founder of Hippiedom what with all that "turn the other cheek" "peace" "god is love" crappola. I mean, come the fuck on. "Dying for the sins of mankind." What Kind OF Shtick Is THAT? I say, let the sinners burn and rot. Fuck 'em if they missed the joke.


http://www.encyclopediadramatica.com/images/d/de/Whatchild.jpg

**Edited by the laziest mod. Please don't make me mod again. I hate it.  :evil:**

Jack Chick

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Contest Entry: Discordianism, the emotional crutch of fags
« Reply #11 on: October 20, 2005, 02:28:17 am »
:?

fluffy

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Contest Entry: Discordianism, the emotional crutch of fags
« Reply #12 on: October 20, 2005, 02:30:32 am »

no porno on the web site, jack
really old rule

Bella

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Contest Entry: Discordianism, the emotional crutch of fags
« Reply #13 on: October 20, 2005, 02:31:57 am »
Yeah, theoretically, The Mgt could get sued if we leave it up.
But I left a link so people can see the porn if they want.
just like in a dream
you'll open your mouth to scream
and you won't make a sound

you can't believe your eyes
you can't believe your ears
you can't believe your friends
you can't believe you're here

pagmatic

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Contest Entry: Discordianism, the emotional crutch of fags
« Reply #14 on: October 20, 2005, 02:33:55 am »
I have an idea--

If somebody would write it; I'll draw a Discordian Tract. How's that sound?