Author Topic: Ask me anything about fending off wild animals.  (Read 30705 times)

eumaas

  • Known & Noted
  • **
  • Posts: 73
    • View Profile
Ask me anything about fending off wild animals.
« Reply #15 on: November 20, 2003, 03:17:28 pm »
Dylan Thomas' ghost is hanging around and reciting poetry constantly. I can't get any sleep, and he keeps eating and drinking everything in the house when I'm away. How can I get rid of him?

The Good Reverend Roger

  • Horrible Bastard
  • One-Armed Jizz Moppers
  • Deserved It
  • **
  • Posts: 36736
    • View Profile
Ask me anything about fending off wild animals.
« Reply #16 on: November 20, 2003, 03:18:36 pm »
Quote from: Hotsuma
Um...how do I deal with a rabid, steroid enraged, grizzly bear?...help...fast...


http://espn.go.com/outdoors/conservation/news/2003/1118/1664798.html

And that guy's like 61 years old.  And all he had was a knife.  I told him to use duct tape, be he wouldn't listen, and thus took minor injuries.
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

 "Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

slothrop23

  • Deserved It
  • ****
  • Posts: 1020
    • View Profile
Ask me anything about fending off wild animals.
« Reply #17 on: November 23, 2003, 01:47:12 pm »
dear roger.
i was cleaning out my shed, when i was attacked by a swam of toxiclly mutated hornets, after they had stung me 1776 times they tyed me down covered me in honey, and as we speak are creeping upto me at an annoyingly slow speed to lick me to death. i have no arms or legs, but i do however have 3 flower pots, 4 seed trys, and a spade.  please please help.
Wind turbines.

I'm a big fan

Guido Finucci

  • Deserved It
  • ****
  • Posts: 2656
    • View Profile
Ask me anything about fending off wild animals.
« Reply #18 on: November 23, 2003, 09:30:10 pm »
Are these toxically mutated lesbian hornets?

Bella

  • Deserved It
  • ****
  • Posts: 9923
    • View Profile
    • Eris Bar and Grill
Ask me anything about fending off wild animals.
« Reply #19 on: November 23, 2003, 09:33:33 pm »
It does sound suspiciously like they are, doesn't it? I mean with the honey and all.....on the other hand, it might just be that you have a tendency to see hordes of honey covered lesbians everywhere you look, Guido.
just like in a dream
you'll open your mouth to scream
and you won't make a sound

you can't believe your eyes
you can't believe your ears
you can't believe your friends
you can't believe you're here

Guido Finucci

  • Deserved It
  • ****
  • Posts: 2656
    • View Profile
Ask me anything about fending off wild animals.
« Reply #20 on: November 23, 2003, 09:37:33 pm »
That's just what they want to think. I know a conspiracy when I see one and this one is honey covered.

The Good Reverend Roger

  • Horrible Bastard
  • One-Armed Jizz Moppers
  • Deserved It
  • **
  • Posts: 36736
    • View Profile
Ask me anything about fending off wild animals.
« Reply #21 on: November 23, 2003, 10:10:59 pm »
Quote from: eumaas
Dylan Thomas' ghost is hanging around and reciting poetry constantly. I can't get any sleep, and he keeps eating and drinking everything in the house when I'm away. How can I get rid of him?


Dylan Thomas is not a wild animal.

Now if it were Benjamin Franklin's ghost, I might be able to help you.
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

 "Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

The Good Reverend Roger

  • Horrible Bastard
  • One-Armed Jizz Moppers
  • Deserved It
  • **
  • Posts: 36736
    • View Profile
Ask me anything about fending off wild animals.
« Reply #22 on: November 23, 2003, 10:12:54 pm »
Quote from: slothrop23
dear roger.
i was cleaning out my shed, when i was attacked by a swam of toxiclly mutated hornets, after they had stung me 1776 times they tyed me down covered me in honey, and as we speak are creeping upto me at an annoyingly slow speed to lick me to death. i have no arms or legs, but i do however have 3 flower pots, 4 seed trys, and a spade.  please please help.


Simple.  Duct tape a...whoops.

Okay, try this:  Grip spade in mouth, use as swatter.  You should be able to smash a few dozen of the little buggers per swing.  It might not get them all, but at least you can force a stalemate somewhere around your knees.
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

 "Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

slothrop23

  • Deserved It
  • ****
  • Posts: 1020
    • View Profile
Ask me anything about fending off wild animals.
« Reply #23 on: November 23, 2003, 10:15:06 pm »
:lol:  :lol:  :lol:  :lol:  :lol:  :lol:  :lol:  :lol:  :lol:  :lol:  :lol:  :lol:  :lol:  :lol:  :lol:  :lol:  :lol:  :lol:  :lol:  :lol:  :lol:  :lol:  :lol:  :lol:  :lol:
thanks
Wind turbines.

I'm a big fan

The Good Reverend Roger

  • Horrible Bastard
  • One-Armed Jizz Moppers
  • Deserved It
  • **
  • Posts: 36736
    • View Profile
Ask me anything about fending off wild animals.
« Reply #24 on: November 23, 2003, 10:15:42 pm »
I'm here to help.
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

 "Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

eumaas

  • Known & Noted
  • **
  • Posts: 73
    • View Profile
Ask me anything about fending off wild animals.
« Reply #25 on: November 23, 2003, 10:50:27 pm »
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger

Dylan Thomas is not a wild animal.

Now if it were Benjamin Franklin's ghost, I might be able to help you.

I should have known anybody with a BotSG as their avatar couldn't exorcise alcoholic poets.

The Good Reverend Roger

  • Horrible Bastard
  • One-Armed Jizz Moppers
  • Deserved It
  • **
  • Posts: 36736
    • View Profile
Ask me anything about fending off wild animals.
« Reply #26 on: November 24, 2003, 02:16:34 am »
Quote from: eumaas
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger

Dylan Thomas is not a wild animal.

Now if it were Benjamin Franklin's ghost, I might be able to help you.

I should have known anybody with a BotSG as their avatar couldn't exorcise alcoholic poets.


Nope.  We also don't do perverts...so maybe I can't help with old Ben after all.
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

 "Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

Horab Fibslager

  • Deserved It
  • ****
  • Posts: 10007
    • View Profile
Ask me anything about fending off wild animals.
« Reply #27 on: November 24, 2003, 02:39:18 am »
can you help me with genetically modified, cybernaetically enhanced beaver hounds? i stole some top secret instant patatoe mix from a top secret governemnt agency this morning, and they seem to have my scent now...
Hell is other people.

The Good Reverend Roger

  • Horrible Bastard
  • One-Armed Jizz Moppers
  • Deserved It
  • **
  • Posts: 36736
    • View Profile
Ask me anything about fending off wild animals.
« Reply #28 on: November 24, 2003, 02:53:58 am »
Quote from: Generalissimo Horab
can you help me with genetically modified, cybernaetically enhanced beaver hounds? i stole some top secret instant patatoe mix from a top secret governemnt agency this morning, and they seem to have my scent now...


Beaver hounds are tough customers, and the ususal fix will not work.

In this case, I suggest you duct-tape a 9' hedge trimmer to each fore-arm, and get busy.

HINT:  Beaver hounds are also violently allergic to haggis.
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

 "Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

Horab Fibslager

  • Deserved It
  • ****
  • Posts: 10007
    • View Profile
Ask me anything about fending off wild animals.
« Reply #29 on: November 24, 2003, 03:01:23 am »
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger
Quote from: Generalissimo Horab
can you help me with genetically modified, cybernaetically enhanced beaver hounds? i stole some top secret instant patatoe mix from a top secret governemnt agency this morning, and they seem to have my scent now...


Beaver hounds are tough customers, and the ususal fix will not work.

In this case, I suggest you duct-tape a 9' hedge trimmer to each fore-arm, and get busy.

HINT:  Beaver hounds are also violently allergic to haggis.



well it's just that .50 cal depeted uranium rounds weren;t working very well, and one managed to survive the tree eater trap i set for it...
Hell is other people.