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Cameo and The Trooth of the Word.

Started by Dr. Cow Ass, May 19, 2007, 11:57:16 PM

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Dr. Cow Ass

This is only a manuscript created by the Stewards of Funk Cabal.

Cameo, A Prophet of Funk 

As a member of the Stewards of Funk Cabal, I'm here to inform you of one of our most sacred doctrines and traditions.

THE DOCTRINE OF THE WORD

Eris is a unique and unpredictable goddess, but like the Gods of tax-exempt religions, her essence and message is sometimes exposed through the words and actions of various individuals. These people are commonly referred to as prophets. In in the mid-eighties, a prophet of Eris came to the world in the form of a fantastic funk musician, Cameo. One of their hymns became sacred scripture as well as the inspiration for many of the SOF's Cabal practices and traditions. The Cabal canonized Cameo as a Saint of Discord and Prophet of Funk; the scripture was dubbed "The Trooth of Word," but is better known by its mainstream name "Word Up."

Below is the entire ToW along with an interpretation of each verse by Cabal madman, Doctor Cow Ass.     



Verse One
Yo pretty ladies around the world
Got a weird thing to show you,
So tell all the boys and girls.
Tell your brother, your sister
And mama too, cause they,Äôre
About to go down
And you,Äôll know just what to do.


- Cameo is informing the listener that he has a new idea to introduce to the world. He tells everyone to spread news that this "weird thing" is coming and to prepare for it. This may scare some, but the last line of the passage assures us that we'll make the right decision when the time comes.

Verse Two
Wave your hands in the air
Like you don,Äôt care, glide by
The People as they start to look and stare.
Do you dance, do your dance quick
Mama, come on baby, tell me what,Äôs
The Word, ah ,Äì word up,
Everybody say when you hear the call
You got to get it underway,
Word up, it,Äôs the code word,
No matter where you say it,
You,Äôll know that you,Äôll be heard.


- The first three lines of this passage are reiterating the importance and power of the turkey curse, in all its forms. The next two lines advise that whenever you make your move, such as your own turkey curse, you should do it quick and allow the people to identify with its message in some way. This is how the movement(or whatever you want to call it) will spread and affect more people. The first mentioning of the holy greeting, roll call, and summoning also appears in this verse. Whenever a member of the Cabal calls out "Tell Me What's the Word!?" any other cabal member or like minded blood of Eris  responds "WORD UUPPPP!!!" This practice was started by the SOF's Cabal but we want to it to spread to all factions and types of discordians as a universal sign of recognition and identification. This of course is not to unite us, but rather to inform others that we roll with Eris. The last five lines of the passage instruct us on how to use the word and another reassurance that no matter where we call out, we'll be herd. I believe this means that people may wonder why random individuals are shouting "WORD UPPPP!" in public and they'll look it up on the internets. In doing so they'll discover the PD and everything. Cameo was a genius indeed.

Verse Three
Now all you sucker. D.J.,Äôs
Who think you,Äôre fly
There,Äôs got to be a reason
And we know the reason why.
You try to put on those airs
And act real cool
But you got to realize
That you,Äôre acting like fools.


- There are many interpretations of verse three and exactly who the "Sucker D.J.'s" are. Now many believe it literally meant punk ass DJ's who were all RUN DMC knock offs and produced nothing of any real hip hop value. But we consider Cameo more poetic then that. I personally think he was referring to people who put on a show so they can feel unique and get attention. They don't really care for discordian ideas or philosophies, they just like having the attention of an interesting group of people(and we ARE interesting.) This is a new movement and there's LOTS of Bullshit(both good and bad) floating around the internets and sub-culture. Cameo knew this and spoke to these dumb asses directly by calling them strait up fools!(and he DID NOT mean it as a compliment.)


Verse Four
If there,Äôs music we can use it
We need to dance.
We don,Äôt have that time
For psychological romance
No romance
No romance
No romance for me mama
Come on baby tell me what,Äôs the word.
Ah ,Äì word up,
Everybody say when you hear the call
You got to get it underway.


-This is the last verse and one of the most important. Cameo begins by saying that it doesn't really matter how one views discordianism, if you can see the light, you gotta take action. He continues by stating there's no time for "psychological romance," or in other words, fantasizing about making a difference, or whatever one's goal may be. Lastly, when you hear the call of "What's the Word!," you know it's time to get down, whatever that may mean to you.

NOTE: Although we perceive most of ToW in a very non-literal and symbolic way, we do place a strong emphasis on dance, especially when "Word Up" is played in public. When confronting someone who's obviously taking things to seriously, we may approach him/her with a dance called the "Funk Walk" as the "Turkey Curse" is outdated and therefore obsolete. The steps for the Funk Walk (along with many mysteries of The Word) can be found hidden in Cameo's music video for "Word Up." The police officers use the "Funk walk" when approaching the building that Cameo and his gang our hiding. When Cameo comes through the door, he uses another holy dance-walk called the "The Johnny-Snap Stride." Both are exceptionally effective when used in needed situations and both are considered sacred by the Cabal.

Cameo Music Video of the Trooth of the Word:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QKmtsN_gzMM


Final Word on the Word:


As you can see, the simple words of a Funkadelic Mastermind can carry one of the greatest messages our time. You must remember that this is only one interpretation of the Word. Many members of the Cabal agree and disagree on certain views of The Word, but the practice of WORD-UPING is respected and applied by all. We encourage you to read and discuss our ideas,but more importantly we encourage you create and discuss your own. Cameo is only one of thousands of Erisan Prophets, go and discover your own, or better yet, become one yourself!

Edit: This is first draft.
I bring the Spicy.

LMNO

I'm sure you could easily come up with some sort of symbolism for "DJ", be it kabbalistic or Cthulu.

Dr. Cow Ass

Quote from: LMNO on May 21, 2007, 12:50:13 PM
I'm sure you could easily come up with some sort of symbolism for "DJ", be it kabbalistic or Cthulu.

Yea, I thought this was alot funnier when I originally wrote it. I still like the idea, though, so I'm gonna do some major rewrites.   
I bring the Spicy.

Lies

TL;DR PLEASE DONT MAKE LONG POSTS THAT START OFF PROMISING BUT ONLY LEAD TO FAIL, IT DISTRACTS BOARED MEMBERS FROM OTHER SHORTER POSTS THAT I POSTED AND MAKES IT TAKE AGES FOR PEOPLE TO SEE HOW WITTY I CAN BE.
- So the New World Order does not actually exist?
- Oh it exists, and how!
Ask the slaves whose labour built the White House;
Ask the slaves of today tied down to sweatshops and brothels to escape hunger;
Ask most women, second class citizens, in a pervasive rape culture;
Ask the non-human creatures who inhabit the planet:
whales, bears, frogs, tuna, bees, slaughtered farm animals;
Ask the natives of the Americas and Australia on whose land
you live today, on whose graves your factories, farms and neighbourhoods stand;
ask any of them this, ask them if the New World Order is true;
they'll tell you plainly: the New World Order... is you!

P3nT4gR4m

The only measure of self crit I have when it it comes to humour is remembering how much I laughed when I first thought of it. It's why I hate the revising stage. Personally I laughed more at the premise than the execution but without the execution the premise would be nothing. It was almost a case of TL:DR but it didn't matter cos the thought that someone had analysed the prophetic merit of Cameo had me in stitches anyway. I think the lulz in this post are laughing-at's rather than laughing-with's but :mittens: regardless

I'm up to my arse in Brexit Numpties, but I want more.  Target-rich environments are the new sexy.
Not actually a meat product.
Ass-Kicking & Foot-Stomping Ancient Master of SHIT FUCK FUCK FUCK
Awful and Bent Behemothic Results of Last Night's Painful Squat.
High Altitude Haggis-Filled Sex Bucket From Beyond Time and Space.
Internet Monkey Person of Filthy and Immoral Pygmy-Porn Wart Contagion
Octomom Auxillary Heat Exchanger Repairman
walking the fine line line between genius and batshit fucking crazy

"computation is a pattern in the spacetime arrangement of particles, and it's not the particles but the pattern that really matters! Matter doesn't matter." -- Max Tegmark

Lies

HEY NO ONE GAVE ME MITTENS WHEN YOU WERE ALL LAUGHING AT MY STONER PARABLE. FUCKS. I HATE YOU ALL. SRSLY.
- So the New World Order does not actually exist?
- Oh it exists, and how!
Ask the slaves whose labour built the White House;
Ask the slaves of today tied down to sweatshops and brothels to escape hunger;
Ask most women, second class citizens, in a pervasive rape culture;
Ask the non-human creatures who inhabit the planet:
whales, bears, frogs, tuna, bees, slaughtered farm animals;
Ask the natives of the Americas and Australia on whose land
you live today, on whose graves your factories, farms and neighbourhoods stand;
ask any of them this, ask them if the New World Order is true;
they'll tell you plainly: the New World Order... is you!

P3nT4gR4m

We weren't laughing at you we were calling you a dick.

We don't do that anymore. How long can you keep it that way?

I'm up to my arse in Brexit Numpties, but I want more.  Target-rich environments are the new sexy.
Not actually a meat product.
Ass-Kicking & Foot-Stomping Ancient Master of SHIT FUCK FUCK FUCK
Awful and Bent Behemothic Results of Last Night's Painful Squat.
High Altitude Haggis-Filled Sex Bucket From Beyond Time and Space.
Internet Monkey Person of Filthy and Immoral Pygmy-Porn Wart Contagion
Octomom Auxillary Heat Exchanger Repairman
walking the fine line line between genius and batshit fucking crazy

"computation is a pattern in the spacetime arrangement of particles, and it's not the particles but the pattern that really matters! Matter doesn't matter." -- Max Tegmark

LMNO

Lys is seriously putting the notion that "caps lock is cruise control for cool" to the test.


Can the coolness of caps lock stand up to the suck and fail if Lys' posts?  Stay tuned!

Dr. Cow Ass

Quote from: Lysergic on May 21, 2007, 05:09:35 PM
HEY NO ONE GAVE ME MITTENS WHEN YOU WERE ALL LAUGHING AT MY STONER PARABLE. FUCKS. I HATE YOU ALL. SRSLY.

What stoner parable?
I bring the Spicy.

Lies

Quote from: Dr. Cow Ass on May 21, 2007, 05:14:24 PM
Quote from: Lysergic on May 21, 2007, 05:09:35 PM
HEY NO ONE GAVE ME MITTENS WHEN YOU WERE ALL LAUGHING AT MY STONER PARABLE. FUCKS. I HATE YOU ALL. SRSLY.

What stoner parable?
IM GOING TO PRETEND YOU DIDN'T ASK THAT. SRSLY. ITS FOR YOUR OWN GOOD.
THERE IS NO STONER PARABLE.
IT WAS A LIE MADE UP BY THE GOVERNMENT TO DISTRACT PEOPLE LONG ENOUGH THAT THEY COULD SWITCH OSAMA WITH HUSSIEN WITHOUT ANYONE NOTICING.
- So the New World Order does not actually exist?
- Oh it exists, and how!
Ask the slaves whose labour built the White House;
Ask the slaves of today tied down to sweatshops and brothels to escape hunger;
Ask most women, second class citizens, in a pervasive rape culture;
Ask the non-human creatures who inhabit the planet:
whales, bears, frogs, tuna, bees, slaughtered farm animals;
Ask the natives of the Americas and Australia on whose land
you live today, on whose graves your factories, farms and neighbourhoods stand;
ask any of them this, ask them if the New World Order is true;
they'll tell you plainly: the New World Order... is you!

P3nT4gR4m

Quote from: LMNO on May 21, 2007, 05:13:57 PM
Lys is seriously putting the notion that "caps lock is cruise control for cool" to the test.


Can the coolness of caps lock stand up to the suck and fail if Lys' posts?  Stay tuned!

Cruise control maintains the current speed

If your cool is way to slow - CAPSLOCK KEEPS IT THAT WAY

[/metaphor extension]

I'm up to my arse in Brexit Numpties, but I want more.  Target-rich environments are the new sexy.
Not actually a meat product.
Ass-Kicking & Foot-Stomping Ancient Master of SHIT FUCK FUCK FUCK
Awful and Bent Behemothic Results of Last Night's Painful Squat.
High Altitude Haggis-Filled Sex Bucket From Beyond Time and Space.
Internet Monkey Person of Filthy and Immoral Pygmy-Porn Wart Contagion
Octomom Auxillary Heat Exchanger Repairman
walking the fine line line between genius and batshit fucking crazy

"computation is a pattern in the spacetime arrangement of particles, and it's not the particles but the pattern that really matters! Matter doesn't matter." -- Max Tegmark

LMNO

Ah.  So the fact that Lys is incredibly uncool simply sets the baseline for the capslock, then.

That makes sense.

Thurnez Isa

Quote from: Dr. Cow Ass on May 21, 2007, 05:14:24 PM
Quote from: Lysergic on May 21, 2007, 05:09:35 PM
HEY NO ONE GAVE ME MITTENS WHEN YOU WERE ALL LAUGHING AT MY STONER PARABLE. FUCKS. I HATE YOU ALL. SRSLY.

What stoner parable?

http://www.principiadiscordia.com/forum/index.php?topic=11852.0

yah some of us can be bastards sometimes
Through me the way to the city of woe, Through me the way to everlasting pain, Through me the way among the lost.
Justice moved my maker on high.
Divine power made me, Wisdom supreme, and Primal love.
Before me nothing was but things eternal, and eternal I endure.
Abandon all hope, you who enter here.

Dante

P3nT4gR4m

Quote from: Thurnez Isa on May 21, 2007, 05:20:44 PM
Quote from: Dr. Cow Ass on May 21, 2007, 05:14:24 PM
Quote from: Lysergic on May 21, 2007, 05:09:35 PM
HEY NO ONE GAVE ME MITTENS WHEN YOU WERE ALL LAUGHING AT MY STONER PARABLE. FUCKS. I HATE YOU ALL. SRSLY.

What stoner parable?

http://www.principiadiscordia.com/forum/index.php?topic=11852.0

yah some of us can be bastards sometimes



Yes Cain/Hustle its still there ... patiently waiting ...  :evilmad:

I'm up to my arse in Brexit Numpties, but I want more.  Target-rich environments are the new sexy.
Not actually a meat product.
Ass-Kicking & Foot-Stomping Ancient Master of SHIT FUCK FUCK FUCK
Awful and Bent Behemothic Results of Last Night's Painful Squat.
High Altitude Haggis-Filled Sex Bucket From Beyond Time and Space.
Internet Monkey Person of Filthy and Immoral Pygmy-Porn Wart Contagion
Octomom Auxillary Heat Exchanger Repairman
walking the fine line line between genius and batshit fucking crazy

"computation is a pattern in the spacetime arrangement of particles, and it's not the particles but the pattern that really matters! Matter doesn't matter." -- Max Tegmark

Lies

meh, since you actually went and dug it up, I had a speed read of it...
Wow, you guys were such fucking jerks. Why the hell did I ever put up with you all?
I could have been doing something constructive instead of wasting time getting abused by you all, like sucking off my dog.

Seriously, I'm glad I didn't notice you guys were such arseholes or else you wouldn't have to put up with me now.

- So the New World Order does not actually exist?
- Oh it exists, and how!
Ask the slaves whose labour built the White House;
Ask the slaves of today tied down to sweatshops and brothels to escape hunger;
Ask most women, second class citizens, in a pervasive rape culture;
Ask the non-human creatures who inhabit the planet:
whales, bears, frogs, tuna, bees, slaughtered farm animals;
Ask the natives of the Americas and Australia on whose land
you live today, on whose graves your factories, farms and neighbourhoods stand;
ask any of them this, ask them if the New World Order is true;
they'll tell you plainly: the New World Order... is you!