Just call me hipster to my face

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

Categories.

Everyone who thinks they know what a hipster is has some mental image or another, usually of a 1990's Poindexter type in Buddy Holly glasses and a cardigan; the hipster archetype which hasn't actually existed for 15 years, yet which still remains in place as the hipster gold standard.

Now, the word "hipster" has expanded, and almost everyone fits someone else's definition of "hipster". There's the lumberjack hipster, the glam hipster, the artist hipster, the retro hipster, the hip-hop hipster, the vintage hipster, the emo hipster, the longshoreman hipster, the academic hipster, the mod hipster, the white trash hipster. There's even hipster mom. Many of the people who are dismissed or reviled as hipsters actually fit into the much more versatile category of "young person", which covers most of the least-liked characteristics attributed to hipsters; they don't know who the fuck they are yet, so they're experimenting with various cultural trends and personas in an attempt to figure it out. Bless their dear little souls, they're fucking obnoxious.

Are they hipsters? Probably. In fact, almost certainly. About the only way to not be a hipster anymore is to be a redneck, which is a perfectly valid option as long as you really are a redneck and not a hipster adopting a redneck persona. Of course, if you neither know nor care what a hipster is, you're probably not a hipster. You also probably shop at Wal-Mart and hope your husband gets a promotion at the mill before Tammy and Billy need braces. If you are reading this and pretending to not know what a hipster is, you're lying to make yourself sound cooler on paper.

Everyone decries the label of hipster, claiming "authenticity", whatever that is. Every hipster thinks they're authentic. Just ask one. Ask yourself. But goddamn, we love our categories. Especially if we can shove people we don't like into some box right over there. Niggers. Terrorists. Hipsters. They aren't really people... they're other.

Did I mention categories? Cabbages? Grayfaces? Categories give us a way to feel better about our group, because we're not them. You might call it elitism. You might, because it is.

Basically, "hipster" is yet another monkey tribal division that separates people you like from everyone else. And like all other monkey tribal divisions, it's essentially meaningless.


Ook ook, motherfucker.

[Whatever]

Basically, "hipster" is yet another monkey tribal division that separates people you like from everyone else. And like all other monkey tribal divisions, it's essentially meaningless.


Ook ook, motherfucker.

The whole OP is great, but the last line, truth truth truth!!!!

[Eater of Clowns]

Rick Rubin, superproducer and complete musical badass, founded Def American Records in 1988.

Five years later, he held a funeral for the word Def.  A funeral.  With a casket, and a gravestone, and fucking everything, for the word.

We need to do that with "hipster."  If you want to fill the casket with some douchey college kid in a bad outfit, that's cool too, so long as the word goes with it.

[Dysfunctional Cunt]

Rick Rubin, superproducer and complete musical badass, founded Def American Records in 1988.

Five years later, he held a funeral for the word Def.  A funeral.  With a casket, and a gravestone, and fucking everything, for the word.

We need to do that with "hipster."  If you want to fill the casket with some douchey college kid in a bad outfit, that's cool too, so long as the word goes with it.

I nominate twatburger and poptard!!! 

[East Coast Hustle]

I lost the thread when we got to the part where it was bad to separate the people we like from everyone else.

Also, I shop at Wal-Mart.

[hooplala]

Rick Rubin, superproducer and complete musical badass, founded Def Jam Records in 1988.

Five years later, he held a funeral for the word Def.  A funeral.  With a casket, and a gravestone, and fucking everything, for the word.

We need to do that with "hipster."  If you want to fill the casket with some douchey college kid in a bad outfit, that's cool too, so long as the word goes with it.

Fixed that for you.

[hooplala]

Also, I agree with Nigel and the OP.

[East Coast Hustle]

Rick Rubin, superproducer and complete musical badass, founded Def Jam Records in 1988.

Five years later, he held a funeral for the word Def.  A funeral.  With a casket, and a gravestone, and fucking everything, for the word.

We need to do that with "hipster."  If you want to fill the casket with some douchey college kid in a bad outfit, that's cool too, so long as the word goes with it.

Fixed that for you.

I thought Russell Simmons founded Def Jam and Rick Rubin founded the more rock-oriented imprint, Def American?

[East Coast Hustle]

Also, I don't understand how "monkey tribal divisions" are "essentially meaningless".

Monkeys assign meaning and create tribal divisions based on those assigned meanings.

To whom are these divisions "essentially meaningless"? Certainly not to the majority of monkeys.

[Eater of Clowns]

Rick Rubin, superproducer and complete musical badass, founded Def Jam Records in 1988.

Five years later, he held a funeral for the word Def.  A funeral.  With a casket, and a gravestone, and fucking everything, for the word.

We need to do that with "hipster."  If you want to fill the casket with some douchey college kid in a bad outfit, that's cool too, so long as the word goes with it.

Fixed that for you.

I thought Russell Simmons founded Def Jam and Rick Rubin founded the more rock-oriented imprint, Def American?

Rubin created Def Jam way back, then Simmons got it off the ground.  Rubin then left Def Jam and created Def American, which became American Recordings after the funeral.

[East Coast Hustle]

Ahh. Thanks for the clarification!

[The Good Reverend Roger]

Now, the word "hipster" has expanded, and almost everyone fits someone else's definition of "hipster". There's the lumberjack hipster, the glam hipster, the artist hipster, the retro hipster, the hip-hop hipster, the vintage hipster, the emo hipster, the longshoreman hipster, the academic hipster, the mod hipster, the white trash hipster. There's even hipster mom.

I'm the "Crapping on the Teabagger office doorstep...AGAIN" hipster.

Because I was poomping for decades before it was cool.

TGRR,
Mad Shitter.

[Requia ☣]

One of these days they are going to catch you at that Roger, its not like many other people are able to leave so much shit that the cleaning crew has to call for an extra garbage pickup that day.

[The Good Reverend Roger]

One of these days they are going to catch you at that Roger, its not like many other people are able to leave so much shit that the cleaning crew has to call for an extra garbage pickup that day.

Also, initialing my work on their door with the results probably isn't helping.

TGRR,
Strong stomach & latex gloves, will travel.

[East Coast Hustle]

you wouldn't need the gloves if you could just train your anus to be prehensile.