tell me about your sex life

[Luna]

The past fling I remember most fondly is the guy who taught me that laughing during sex can be a lot of fun.

However, I also learned with him that a case of the giggles on a steep roof is not always a good thing.  Also, shingles suck.

[Eater of Clowns]

The past fling I remember most fondly is the guy who taught me that laughing during sex can be a lot of fun.

However, I also learned with him that a case of the giggles on a steep roof is not always a good thing.  Also, shingles suck.

Whoa. 

[minuspace]

The funniest thing, in retrospect, was the focus on performance over feeling.  You know, because that's how the professionals do it

[The Good Reverend Roger]

In the early stages of my sex life I was too busy being ridden with anxiety about my performance to realize how hilarious sex is. I didn't start giggling over the absurdity of it until much, much later.

Absurd?  I have no idea what you mean.

[Q. G. Pennyworth]

Husband: You use too many towels
QGP: Because I have hair and it needs drying!
Husband: I have more surface area than you because I am taller. I only need one towel so you only need one.
QGP: That's not how anything works.
Husband: Don't you get your science in this.
QGP: I have lots of hair and you don't, and even without the hair you don't have much more surface area than me.
Husband: Are you calling my wife fat?
QGP: No, but that would make sense because I heard she sucks great dick.

[Nephew Twiddleton]

I have a question.

In the somewhat early stages of your sex lives, did any of you ever have a difficult time sexing because you were so overwhelmed by the absurdity of it all that you frequently broke into hysterical laughter? or found yourself thinking (possibly even out loud) things like "two of my fingers are in a vagina. people actually do this? this is ridiculous, like, what's up with the world"?

I'm going through that now.

Not with me. It was more like, "Whoa... cool! I'm touching someone else's stuff/getting laid!" I didn't really think too much about the various acts involved, except to make sure that they were doing the intended thing for the other person.

Actually, that's an interesting question. Do you think such thoughts when you're the receiver? Like, if you're getting a BJ, are you thinking, "people put dicks in their mouths! That's so odd!"?

[Ben Shapiro]

I have a question.

In the somewhat early stages of your sex lives, did any of you ever have a difficult time sexing because you were so overwhelmed by the absurdity of it all that you frequently broke into hysterical laughter? or found yourself thinking (possibly even out loud) things like "two of my fingers are in a vagina. people actually do this? this is ridiculous, like, what's up with the world"?

I'm going through that now.

I did. It's hilarious to me now.
The first time I got laid I gave her 1st orgasm. It was a major ego boost to me at a young age, and it also involved me asking every few minutes is the stimulation good? I learned also to not feel like shit since some women don't get off with penetration from that experience, and I later I become a aggressive/ dominate dick during that relationship.

The hilarious part was I rarely got off from having sex with her.

[Salty]

Day 37

Jeff died last night. Rot got into his busted leg and with no water he just didn't have a chance. We moved him down toward the far end of the collapsed wall, opposite of the "latrine". It's the first time any of us have been grateful for the dark. Who wants to ignore a corpse while they're trying to take a shit. Not that there's much of that going on since the food ran out 2 days ago. Maybe Jeff was the lucky one. Barnaby has been babbling about using our helmets to collect mositure, none of us have the energy to tell him to shut his damned mouth. But oddly enough, the more he talks the more I get the feeling I could rise up, grab my pick ax and bury it in his skull. Then we would have some peace and...well, maybe something to eat. Am I losing it? Did I just write that? We can't eat Jeff, the rot. Please god, I hope they get us out of here.

[Cainad (dec.)]

 

[Aucoq]

Day 37

Jeff died last night. Rot got into his busted leg and with no water he just didn't have a chance. We moved him down toward the far end of the collapsed wall, opposite of the "latrine". It's the first time any of us have been grateful for the dark. Who wants to ignore a corpse while you're trying to take a shit. Not that there's much of that going on since the food ran out 2 days ago. Maybe Jeff was the lucky one. Barnaby has been babbling about using our helmets to collect mositure, none of us have the energy to tell him to shut his damned mouth. But oddly enough, the more he talks the more I get the feeling I could rise up, grab my pick ax and bury it in his skull. Then we would have some peace and...well, maybe something to eat. Am I losing it? Did I just writr that? We can't eat Jeff, the rot. Please god, I hope they get us out of here.

[Raz Tech]

I have a question.

In the somewhat early stages of your sex lives, did any of you ever have a difficult time sexing because you were so overwhelmed by the absurdity of it all that you frequently broke into hysterical laughter? or found yourself thinking (possibly even out loud) things like "two of my fingers are in a vagina. people actually do this? this is ridiculous, like, what's up with the world"?

I'm going through that now.

I did. It's hilarious to me now.
The first time I got laid I gave her 1st orgasm. It was a major ego boost to me at a young age, and it also involved me asking every few minutes is the stimulation good? I learned also to not feel like shit since some women don't get off with penetration from that experience, and I later I become a aggressive/ dominate dick during that relationship.

The hilarious part was I rarely got off from having sex with her.

That's trying too hard.  Way I see it, you are there, (presumably) naked, about to engage in what is arguably one of the few things you can do in life that's pure pleasure.  To spend the whole experience focusing on anything other than losing yourself in the passion of a moment more beautiful than anything else on this fleeting moment you have on the planet strikes me as "doing it wrong".

[Chelagoras The Boulder]

My sex life? i'll let you know when one happens. 

Seriously, it seems like i've had everything up to but not including, full penetrative sex. I've even been told i'm pretty decent at the lead up: kissing, fondling all that good stuff, but someway or another, the actual sex part has never happened. It's like i'm stuck in a highly contrived romantic comedy. The part that really drives me up a wall is the fact that the parts i just mentioned are some of the most present i've been in my life. I have anxiety in almost every part of my life, but hanky panky seems to be the only state in which all those switches get shut off and i'm entirely focused on the activity at hand. For that brief moment, i'm not a quivering pile of insecurities, I am MAN, a primal by product of millions of monkeys successfully fucking in exactly this fashion. And then the director yells cut, the set shuts down, and i'm left with balls the exact shade of the ocean.

[minuspace]

sweet dreams.

[Pope Lecherous]

Wait, I meant to say:

I AM A SEXUAL TYRANNOSAURUS.

Could you ever see yourself as a transsexual tyrannosaurus?

[minuspace]

Wait, I meant to say:

I AM A SEXUAL TYRANNOSAURUS.

Could you ever see yourself as a transsexual tyrannosaurus?

I don't know if you write, and I don't care, that there is legitimate