TO SAVE CALIFORNIA, WE MUST DESTROY IT. A warning to all Good Americans™

[Jenne]

NO no, don't listen to Garbo--never LOOK at Shoe Ears in "full form."  If you do, it's like looking into the eyes of Kali, and you will burn with the fire of a thousand suns.

During a solar eclipse, and ONLY then, is Shoe Ears to be taken in...fully.

Ye've been a-warned, ye've been.

I wear a welding mask when I WOMP them.  Just saying.

Better be made out of Titanium.

Just saying.

Too expensive.  I just strap homeless people to it.

That's MY American dream.

And so you've got a pile of bleached bones near your computer desk?

(methinks you can finally lure the cat away from your bourbon with the aftermath of wompage)

[Juana]

You should see Shoe Ears in full form. It's like watched da Vinci or Michelangelo in action. She goes down to Wal Mart and waits for Skeeter and Darlleen and their passel of children to come out and then she pounces - it's pretty impressive. I thought it impossible to lob a tooth that far with one of those dental mirrors, but Shoe Ears managed it. I'm not sure if the resulting casualty was intended, but I'm not going to ask.


Anyone who dances like a retarded t-rex - all arms and stamping - DESERVES to be photographed, and so terribly many of them do. It's a crime against the sacred art of rave and they need to be re-educated! How else can I do that without showing them what they're doing wrong?

If they were any good for eating, I'd offer them to the Dark Empress, but I'm afraid they aren't. Coyotes won't even touch 'em, but there is something that screams, out in the foothills. We don't know what it is, despite much speculation but the last hike we went on, I pushed one of my companions off the trail, the creature howled, and we never did see him again.

None of this excuses throwing an enraged javelina into a shortbus.  You are essentially rotten people.

Well, what else was I supposed to do with the javelina?

NO no, don't listen to Garbo--never LOOK at Shoe Ears in "full form."  If you do, it's like looking into the eyes of Kali, and you will burn with the fire of a thousand suns.

During a solar eclipse, and ONLY then, is Shoe Ears to be taken in...fully.

Ye've been a-warned, ye've been.

[Doktor Howl]

Well, what else was I supposed to do with the javelina?

[Nephew Twiddleton]

Well, what else was I supposed to do with the javelina?

Ok, so it's a javelina in a hat. What should she do with it?

[Doktor Howl]

Well, what else was I supposed to do with the javelina?

Ok, so it's a javelina in a hat. What should she do with it?

No tusks.  That is an American Land Whale, and they are the proper prey of enraged Javelinas.

169% troof.  I saw it on Mutual of Omaha's Wild Kingdom.  Marlin Perkins is always right about this stuff.

[Freeky]

This thread.

[Juana]

Well, what else was I supposed to do with the javelina?

Oh, that would be horning in on Shoe Ear's territory. She doesn't like that.

[Epimetheus]

Well, you know me. I'm already highly radioactive. Bombs away.

[Cainad (dec.)]

DOK, NO!


If you initiate The Protocol on California right now, the country will tip over sideways and all of us--ALL of us-- go sliding into the Atlantic.

[Luna]

DOK, NO!


If you initiate The Protocol on California right now, the country will tip over sideways and all of us--ALL of us-- go sliding into the Atlantic.

You say that like it's a BAD thing...

[Doktor Howl]

DOK, NO!


If you initiate The Protocol on California right now, the country will tip over sideways and all of us--ALL of us-- go sliding into the Atlantic.

I'm on the West slope.  I'll finally be able to stand up without leaning over.

[Cainad (dec.)]

DOK, NO!


If you initiate The Protocol on California right now, the country will tip over sideways and all of us--ALL of us-- go sliding into the Atlantic.

You say that like it's a BAD thing...

Think about this for a moment, from our Easterly perspective. We get dumped in first, but then who gets dumped on top of us?

That's right, Teh Amurrican Heartland.

We'll be crushed and fossilized faster than we can scream "Fuck you, Eris!"

[Doktor Howl]

DOK, NO!


If you initiate The Protocol on California right now, the country will tip over sideways and all of us--ALL of us-- go sliding into the Atlantic.

You say that like it's a BAD thing...

Think about this for a moment, from our Easterly perspective. We get dumped in first, but then who gets dumped on top of us?

That's right, Teh Amurrican Heartland.

We'll be crushed and fossilized faster than we can scream "Fuck you, Eris!"

HERE COMES NEBRASKA!

[Dysfunctional Cunt]

DOK, NO!


If you initiate The Protocol on California right now, the country will tip over sideways and all of us--ALL of us-- go sliding into the Atlantic.

You say that like it's a BAD thing...

Think about this for a moment, from our Easterly perspective. We get dumped in first, but then who gets dumped on top of us?

That's right, Teh Amurrican Heartland.

We'll be crushed and fossilized faster than we can scream "Fuck you, Eris!"

HERE COMES NEBRASKA!

WAIT A MINUTE!!!!

I'm between the two.

[Cainad (dec.)]

 

The planetary distribution of gravity will shift! The tides will be overturned, and Salazore will run ashore!

That's my American Dream.