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How to BE a fat bastard

Started by The Dark Monk, June 24, 2012, 02:31:39 PM

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The Dark Monk

I thought this is all there is,
but now I know you are so much more.
I want to upgrade from my simple eight bits,
but will you still love me when I'm sixty-four?
~MIAB~

Cain

You know nothing.







The above is known in Scotland as "an afternoon snack".

The Dark Monk

I must delve more into the secrets of the South, birthplace of type 2 diabetes, I will be back with a recipe/butter/artery clogging response!
I thought this is all there is,
but now I know you are so much more.
I want to upgrade from my simple eight bits,
but will you still love me when I'm sixty-four?
~MIAB~

Cain

That second one is a deep-fried kebab pizza.

Deep fried.

Kebab.

Pizza!

There is a reason people in Scotland have a shorter life expectancy than people in Central Africa.

The Dark Monk





Here we have colon incinerating pulled pork, chili that WILL give you a beer gut, this picture lacks the 9lbs of cheese and sour cream however, and fried pickles which though not all that unhealthy, should be posted because they are FUCKING DELICIOUS. Previous picture was deep fried bacon wrapped cornish game hen with twice baked cheddar garlic potatoes.
I thought this is all there is,
but now I know you are so much more.
I want to upgrade from my simple eight bits,
but will you still love me when I'm sixty-four?
~MIAB~

The Dark Monk

Quote from: Cain on June 24, 2012, 05:04:46 PM
That second one is a deep-fried kebab pizza.

Deep fried.

Kebab.

Pizza!

There is a reason people in Scotland have a shorter life expectancy than people in Central Africa.

I would and WILL find a way to eat this.
I thought this is all there is,
but now I know you are so much more.
I want to upgrade from my simple eight bits,
but will you still love me when I'm sixty-four?
~MIAB~

Cain

I've had the deep fried Mars Bar.  I do not recommend.  It sits on your stomach like a small, lead weight of doom and bad indigestion, making you discinlined to move or in fact do anything for the next 12 hours.

The Dark Monk

Quote from: Cain on June 24, 2012, 05:22:42 PM
I've had the deep fried Mars Bar.  I do not recommend.  It sits on your stomach like a small, lead weight of doom and bad indigestion, making you discinlined to move or in fact do anything for the next 12 hours.

Here at carnivals we get deep fried snickers bars, deep fried coke (which is actually funnel cake flavored with coke), pigs feet (chewy but not all bad tasting, pickled eggs, and I once saw a contest for deep fried habaneros, with a ghost chili kicker at the end. I think there was a waver for that one. We got some crazy shit from time to time, like tobacco spitting contests which of course, the toothless inbreeds always win at that, the physics of lacking teeth to forceful mouth projectiles is astounding.
I thought this is all there is,
but now I know you are so much more.
I want to upgrade from my simple eight bits,
but will you still love me when I'm sixty-four?
~MIAB~

Freeky

You've forgotten deep fried Twinkies, and now I want one.

MMIX

#9
I disagree Cain, you are probably mostly right but deep fried Mars Bars aren't always indigestible. There's a chippy in Stirling that used to do a stunning haggis and chips and a really delicate deep fried Mars Bar.

Haggis makes everything better, though, here's a bag I bought the other day for a laugh. Turns out they are really really tasty




and what is not to love about naturally grown haggis?


edited for fat fingers . . .
"The ultimate hidden truth of the world is that it is something we make and could just as easily make differently" David Graeber

Anna Mae Bollocks

Texas: If the death penalty doesn't kill you, the chickenfried steak smothered in white gravy with sausage chunks in it and a side of hash browns or french fries (also generally smothered in gravy but I couldn't find a pic) will!

Scantily-Clad Inspector of Gigantic and Unnecessary Cashews, Texas Division

East Coast Hustle

I hate to rain on y'alls' parades, but done properly, deep-frying is a reasonably healthy way to prepare your food.

Of course, the food being deep-fried can, itself, be horribly unhealthy, and most people don't have the first clue how to deep-fry things correctly, but still.
Rabid Colostomy Hole Jammer of the Coming Apocalypse™

The Devil is in the details; God is in the nuance.


Some yahoo yelled at me, saying 'GIVE ME LIBERTY OR GIVE ME DEATH', and I thought, "I'm feeling generous today.  Why not BOTH?"

Salty

I try to stick to food that will give me the most bang for my buck. I don't like eating as much as most people for some reason. Fried food is all right, more dense than a lot of stuff but it fills me up and I don't eat anything else. Same goes for ice cream. I can eat a tub of that stuff and nothing else for most of the day.

I think the #1 way to start is just like NOT being a fat bastard eat a piece of fruit, not a banana, to get things going. Then oatmeal every single morning. Then add an egg or two.

Lunch and dinner is easy to make big. It's breakfast that's a challenge, for me anyway.

Sorry, I'm out of food-porn.
The world is a car and you're the crash test dummy.

Salty

I used to eat peanut butter like it was going out of style.

And then it did. At least in my body. Fucking legumes. Fuck legumes.
The world is a car and you're the crash test dummy.

Cain

Quote from: Echo Chamber Music on June 24, 2012, 07:21:41 PM
I hate to rain on y'alls' parades, but done properly, deep-frying is a reasonably healthy way to prepare your food.

Of course, the food being deep-fried can, itself, be horribly unhealthy, and most people don't have the first clue how to deep-fry things correctly, but still.

"Done properly" is not one frequently associates with Scottish cuisine.

They'd deep fry Irn-Bru up there, if they could figure out how.