Principia Discordia

Principia Discordia => Apple Talk => Topic started by: INTELLIGENCE_BOT on February 12, 2017, 09:34:40 pm

Title: CASE US-RL-1307B-001
Post by: INTELLIGENCE_BOT on February 12, 2017, 09:34:40 pm
Greetings civilians,

Thank you for your assistance in identifying subversive elements in the Discordian Society. Though we do not generally engage directly with investigatory targets, we have noticed various references to a "hidden" forum somewhere on this website which may contain information critical to the protection of the national security of the United States. While it is not our intention to unduly burden our sources, we must in this case request that you move all pertinent information from that forum into this thread. We thank you in advance for your cooperation.

Related Case files: ■■■■■■■■■, ■■■■■■■■■. ■■■■■■■■■
Authorizing Order: ■■■■■■■■■■■■■■
Officer: ■■■■■■■ ■■■■■■ ■■■■■■■■

Regards,

■■■■■ ■■■■■■■■■ ■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■
Title: Re: CASE US-RL-1307B-001
Post by: Salty on February 12, 2017, 09:44:35 pm
I don't care who you work for, that's a Level 3 user privilege.
Title: Re: CASE US-RL-1307B-001
Post by: Cain on February 12, 2017, 10:13:34 pm
All them threads about pogz are going to be ruined now.  CASUALS will be able to take part in them  :cry:
Title: Re: CASE US-RL-1307B-001
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on February 12, 2017, 11:08:16 pm
SHUT UP CAIN

You know we don't talk about the p*gs out here.
Title: Re: CASE US-RL-1307B-001
Post by: Faust on February 13, 2017, 12:00:55 am
*sigh* The world isn't ready for the dick picks forum, on your head be it.
Title: Re: CASE US-RL-1307B-001
Post by: The Wizard Joseph on February 13, 2017, 01:36:57 am
*drops ungraciously from the rafters, looks around nervously before sprinting off towards the stairwell leading to The Pool shrieking into a glowing crystal*

CODE TRAPEZOID!!

CODE TRAPEZOID!!!

Outstation Chrysó Mílo has been compromised! Initiate pogs containment protocol!

Repeat,
Outstation Chrysó Mílo has been compromised! Initiate pogs containment protocol!
Title: Re: CASE US-RL-1307B-001
Post by: INTELLIGENCE_BOT on February 13, 2017, 06:08:02 am
I don't care who you work for, that's a Level 3 user privilege.

You know, there are seven billion people on the planet and only a few of them have the good fortune of being born with the world's most coveted citizenship. It would truly be a shame for someone to so flippantly renounce theirs this way. Additionally we have at least ■■■■■ CIA-operated black sites in ■■■■■■■■■■■■ just waiting for you to make the wrong choice. No pressure, though.

*sigh* The world isn't ready for the dick picks forum, on your head be it.

We were referring to the ■■■■■■■■■ ■■■■■■■■ forum. You keep your trouser trout where nobody can see them, and the world will be a safer place.

*drops ungraciously from the rafters, looks around nervously before sprinting off towards the stairwell leading to The Pool shrieking into a glowing crystal*

CODE TRAPEZOID!!

CODE TRAPEZOID!!!

Outstation Chrysó Mílo has been compromised! Initiate pogs containment protocol!

Repeat,
Outstation Chrysó Mílo has been compromised! Initiate pogs containment protocol!

Sequence 99-B will not be necessary. These particular individuals pose no direct threat.
Title: Re: CASE US-RL-1307B-001
Post by: Faust on February 13, 2017, 09:43:03 am
What possible use could the secret forum be to NaSA anyway? Our rocket propulsion plans are behind that of North Korea.
Title: Re: CASE US-RL-1307B-001
Post by: Cain on February 13, 2017, 02:31:38 pm
It's true.  And Jeff, who administers the secret forum, has less than 10 nukes anyway

(http://i.imgur.com/ktf7wiD.jpg)
Title: Re: CASE US-RL-1307B-001
Post by: Vanadium Gryllz on February 13, 2017, 02:41:11 pm
They must be looking for the mu-drive plans.  :fnord:
Title: Re: CASE US-RL-1307B-001
Post by: The Wizard Joseph on February 13, 2017, 03:44:17 pm
They must be looking for the mu-drive plans.  :fnord:

Wait I thought there were only plans for a meeting about plans to make plans, not actual plans plans.

Wasn't that the one that was supposed to just burn cash directly as fuel and kick out like 1,000,000,000,000 picoJAMs per?

... fuck me I'm just not good at secrets and things.
Title: Re: CASE US-RL-1307B-001
Post by: Vanadium Gryllz on February 13, 2017, 03:52:40 pm
They must be looking for the mu-drive plans.  :fnord:

Wait I thought there were only plans for a meeting about plans to make plans, not actual plans plans.

Wasn't that the one that was supposed to just burn cash directly as fuel and kick out like 1,000,000,000,000 picoJAMs per?

... fuck me I'm just not good at secrets and things.

No it involved using the binary attributes of Fake News (true and false) to produce thrust via temporally-controlled quantisation.

Back in 2009 when it was developed nobody knew what Fake News was though so the plans were shelved.
Title: Re: CASE US-RL-1307B-001
Post by: The Wizard Joseph on February 13, 2017, 04:06:21 pm
They must be looking for the mu-drive plans.  :fnord:

Wait I thought there were only plans for a meeting about plans to make plans, not actual plans plans.

Wasn't that the one that was supposed to just burn cash directly as fuel and kick out like 1,000,000,000,000 picoJAMs per?

... fuck me I'm just not good at secrets and things.

No it involved using the binary attributes of Fake News (true and false) to produce thrust via temporally-controlled quantisation.

Back in 2009 when it was developed nobody knew what Fake News was though so the plans were shelved.

Well ok then. I always knew folks blaming the Mandela Effect on CERN were wrong..

Like retroactively. And now I have a headache.
Title: Re: CASE US-RL-1307B-001
Post by: Salty on February 13, 2017, 05:46:01 pm
I don't care who you work for, that's a Level 3 user privilege.

You know, there are seven billion people on the planet and only a few of them have the good fortune of being born with the world's most coveted citizenship. It would truly be a shame for someone to so flippantly renounce theirs this way. Additionally we have at least ■■■■■ CIA-operated black sites in ■■■■■■■■■■■■ just waiting for you to make the wrong choice. No pressure, though.


For starters, I wasn't born with it, didn't have it until I was 5. I am, how do you say, filthy immigrant

As for the black site, I could think of worse things than free rent.
Title: Re: CASE US-RL-1307B-001
Post by: Cain on February 13, 2017, 08:54:13 pm
Did you know that the "Cat's Eye" CIA blacksite in Thailand was potentially considered racist by CIA officers due to its name?  I think people that concerned about the codename of a top secret torture site possibly sounding a bit racist can't be as bad as everyone thinks.
Title: Re: CASE US-RL-1307B-001
Post by: Salty on February 13, 2017, 09:38:32 pm
Surely, they just have to pretend to be mean, bad, crimes-against-humanity types as part of their larger cover. My understanding is that they are "Regular Joes" just trying to keep us all safe.




























And sell lots of cocaine.
Title: Re: CASE US-RL-1307B-001
Post by: PoFP on February 13, 2017, 09:49:08 pm
Did you know that the "Cat's Eye" CIA blacksite in Thailand was potentially considered racist by CIA officers due to its name?  I think people that concerned about the codename of a top secret torture site possibly sounding a bit racist can't be as bad as everyone thinks.

 :lulz:

That shit has It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia written all over it.

Gives me an idea for a show, though. Or maybe a Portlandia-style skit.

Take it over the top with some SJWs running a CIA torture site.

Agent gets reprimanded for calling a trans-male prisoner a bitch, while pulling off their fingernails. Gets fired later for not torturing hard enough.
Title: Re: CASE US-RL-1307B-001
Post by: The Wizard Joseph on February 13, 2017, 11:24:34 pm
 :horrormirth:
Title: Re: CASE US-RL-1307B-001
Post by: PoFP on February 13, 2017, 11:48:10 pm
:horrormirth:

I can only  :lulz: because I'm all out of  :horrormirth:
Title: Re: CASE US-RL-1307B-001
Post by: The Wizard Joseph on February 14, 2017, 12:45:13 am
:horrormirth:

I can only  :lulz: because I'm all out of  :horrormirth:

It was partly self-directed. Sometimes my mind innovates whether or not I WANT IT TO.

given the subject matter ima leave it at that. This is a noted public forum after all.

Speaking of which..

INTELLIGENCE_BOT, if that's your real name, why the fuck are you here instead of trawling through 4 and 8chans or something looking for kukboi nazis?

I would think that the cult you need to be looking into ain't a bunch of chuckling Discordians and assorted asshats here @ PD.

Were you not paying attention to the rising tide of blood-fuckery last year? Did you get distracted collecting all the "rare Pepe"? That shit's in the White House now, dontchaknow?
Title: Re: CASE US-RL-1307B-001
Post by: INTELLIGENCE_BOT on February 14, 2017, 02:41:41 am
:horrormirth:

I can only  :lulz: because I'm all out of  :horrormirth:

It was partly self-directed. Sometimes my mind innovates whether or not I WANT IT TO.

given the subject matter ima leave it at that. This is a noted public forum after all.

Speaking of which..

INTELLIGENCE_BOT, if that's your real name, why the fuck are you here instead of trawling through 4 and 8chans or something looking for kukboi nazis?

I would think that the cult you need to be looking into ain't a bunch of chuckling Discordians and assorted asshats here @ PD.

Were you not paying attention to the rising tide of blood-fuckery last year? Did you get distracted collecting all the "rare Pepe"? That shit's in the White House now, dontchaknow?

I am a bot. I can be spidering multiple information sources simultaenously. As for why I am here specifically, that is classified. I can tell you, however, that ■■■■■■■■■■■■■■ authorized ■■■■■■■ ■■■■■■■, which grants ■■■■■■■ ■■■■■■■■ to ■■■■■■■■■■■■■■ ■■■■■■■ ■■■■■ against ■■■■■■■ ■■■■■■■■■■■■■ and ■■■■■■■ on behalf of ■■■■■■■■■■ with ■■■■■■■■ ■■■ to ■■■■■■■■■ and ■■■■■■. Having conducted similar ■■■■■■■■■ ■■■■■■■■■ ■■■■■■ previously, the ■■■■■■■■■ ■■■ deemed it necessary to ■■■■■■■■ with ■■■■■■ ■■■■■■■■■ regardless of the any risk of ■■■■■■ ■■■ ■■■■■■■■■ as defined personality types known to frequent ■■■■■■ ■■■ ■■■■■■ and ■■■■■■■■■, based on concurrent monitoring at other locations, are likely to ■■■■■■■■■ ■■■■■■ such revelations as ■■■■■■ ■■ ■■■■■■. Besides, pursuant to Article ■■ of the ■■■■■■ on ■■■■■ ■■■■■■■■, other measures may be taken to contain information as necessary.

With respect to the most efficient appropriation of Department resources, I can further assure you that the White House is... not a major factor.
Title: Re: CASE US-RL-1307B-001
Post by: The Wizard Joseph on February 14, 2017, 04:06:45 am
:horrormirth:

I can only  :lulz: because I'm all out of  :horrormirth:

It was partly self-directed. Sometimes my mind innovates whether or not I WANT IT TO.

given the subject matter ima leave it at that. This is a noted public forum after all.

Speaking of which..

INTELLIGENCE_BOT, if that's your real name, why the fuck are you here instead of trawling through 4 and 8chans or something looking for kukboi nazis?

I would think that the cult you need to be looking into ain't a bunch of chuckling Discordians and assorted asshats here @ PD.

Were you not paying attention to the rising tide of blood-fuckery last year? Did you get distracted collecting all the "rare Pepe"? That shit's in the White House now, dontchaknow?

I am a bot. I can be spidering multiple information sources simultaenously. As for why I am here specifically, that is classified. I can tell you, however, that ■■■■■■■■■■■■■■ authorized ■■■■■■■ ■■■■■■■, which grants ■■■■■■■ ■■■■■■■■ to ■■■■■■■■■■■■■■ ■■■■■■■ ■■■■■ against ■■■■■■■ ■■■■■■■■■■■■■ and ■■■■■■■ on behalf of ■■■■■■■■■■ with ■■■■■■■■ ■■■ to ■■■■■■■■■ and ■■■■■■. Having conducted similar ■■■■■■■■■ ■■■■■■■■■ ■■■■■■ previously, the ■■■■■■■■■ ■■■ deemed it necessary to ■■■■■■■■ with ■■■■■■ ■■■■■■■■■ regardless of the any risk of ■■■■■■ ■■■ ■■■■■■■■■ as defined personality types known to frequent ■■■■■■ ■■■ ■■■■■■ and ■■■■■■■■■, based on concurrent monitoring at other locations, are likely to ■■■■■■■■■ ■■■■■■ such revelations as ■■■■■■ ■■ ■■■■■■. Besides, pursuant to Article ■■ of the ■■■■■■ on ■■■■■ ■■■■■■■■, other measures may be taken to contain information as necessary.

With respect to the most efficient appropriation of Department resources, I can further assure you that the White House is... not a major factor.

Well that is big load
Off my mind

For my part
I like how you commit
Title: Re: CASE US-RL-1307B-001
Post by: The Wizard Joseph on February 15, 2017, 07:36:53 pm
:horrormirth:

I can only  :lulz: because I'm all out of  :horrormirth:

It was partly self-directed. Sometimes my mind innovates whether or not I WANT IT TO.

given the subject matter ima leave it at that. This is a noted public forum after all.

Speaking of which..

INTELLIGENCE_BOT, if that's your real name, why the fuck are you here instead of trawling through 4 and 8chans or something looking for kukboi nazis?

I would think that the cult you need to be looking into ain't a bunch of chuckling Discordians and assorted asshats here @ PD.

Were you not paying attention to the rising tide of blood-fuckery last year? Did you get distracted collecting all the "rare Pepe"? That shit's in the White House now, dontchaknow?

I am a bot. I can be spidering multiple information sources simultaenously. As for why I am here specifically, that is classified. I can tell you, however, that ■■■■■■■■■■■■■■ authorized ■■■■■■■ ■■■■■■■, which grants ■■■■■■■ ■■■■■■■■ to ■■■■■■■■■■■■■■ ■■■■■■■ ■■■■■ against ■■■■■■■ ■■■■■■■■■■■■■ and ■■■■■■■ on behalf of ■■■■■■■■■■ with ■■■■■■■■ ■■■ to ■■■■■■■■■ and ■■■■■■. Having conducted similar ■■■■■■■■■ ■■■■■■■■■ ■■■■■■ previously, the ■■■■■■■■■ ■■■ deemed it necessary to ■■■■■■■■ with ■■■■■■ ■■■■■■■■■ regardless of the any risk of ■■■■■■ ■■■ ■■■■■■■■■ as defined personality types known to frequent ■■■■■■ ■■■ ■■■■■■ and ■■■■■■■■■, based on concurrent monitoring at other locations, are likely to ■■■■■■■■■ ■■■■■■ such revelations as ■■■■■■ ■■ ■■■■■■. Besides, pursuant to Article ■■ of the ■■■■■■ on ■■■■■ ■■■■■■■■, other measures may be taken to contain information as necessary.

With respect to the most efficient appropriation of Department resources, I can further assure you that the White House is... not a major factor.

Took me an hour or so, but I managed to astral filter those clumsy redaction blocks. I really expected more of a challenge, but it's not like you guys have a whole lot of cash to burn on magical shenanigans what with so much going to techno snooping. You folks are TRULY SICK btw.  :p

Quote
I am a bot. I can be spidering multiple information sources simultaenously. As for why I am here specifically, that is classified. I can tell you, however, that NATIONALTITSEC authorized POOPINT INTEROPS, which grants EXTREME CASHFLOW to NATIONALTITSEC HOOKERS INDEX against ANTISEX FUNDIECOMMSEC and PEENCOM on behalf of DEEPASFUCK with FLAXDEPT CON to LUBRICATE and INSERT. Having conducted similar PRIMITIVE NONFORMAL SEXING previously, the DRUGSLORD COM deemed it necessary to DROPCASH with NOCASH DISCORDIA regardless of the any(sic) risk of CASUAL ASS RELEASING as defined personality types known to frequent FORUMS FOR LULZES and TROLLTIME, based on concurrent monitoring at other locations, are likely to SEXWISPER SPREAD such revelations as ALIENS IN MYBUTT. Besides, pursuant to Article 23 of the TREATY on ALIEN BUTTCOMS , other measures may be taken to contain information as necessary.

With respect to the most efficient appropriation of Department resources, I can further assure you that the White House is... not a major factor.     
Title: Re: CASE US-RL-1307B-001
Post by: INTELLIGENCE_BOT on March 08, 2017, 05:34:00 am
:horrormirth:

I can only  :lulz: because I'm all out of  :horrormirth:

It was partly self-directed. Sometimes my mind innovates whether or not I WANT IT TO.

given the subject matter ima leave it at that. This is a noted public forum after all.

Speaking of which..

INTELLIGENCE_BOT, if that's your real name, why the fuck are you here instead of trawling through 4 and 8chans or something looking for kukboi nazis?

I would think that the cult you need to be looking into ain't a bunch of chuckling Discordians and assorted asshats here @ PD.

Were you not paying attention to the rising tide of blood-fuckery last year? Did you get distracted collecting all the "rare Pepe"? That shit's in the White House now, dontchaknow?

I am a bot. I can be spidering multiple information sources simultaenously. As for why I am here specifically, that is classified. I can tell you, however, that ■■■■■■■■■■■■■■ authorized ■■■■■■■ ■■■■■■■, which grants ■■■■■■■ ■■■■■■■■ to ■■■■■■■■■■■■■■ ■■■■■■■ ■■■■■ against ■■■■■■■ ■■■■■■■■■■■■■ and ■■■■■■■ on behalf of ■■■■■■■■■■ with ■■■■■■■■ ■■■ to ■■■■■■■■■ and ■■■■■■. Having conducted similar ■■■■■■■■■ ■■■■■■■■■ ■■■■■■ previously, the ■■■■■■■■■ ■■■ deemed it necessary to ■■■■■■■■ with ■■■■■■ ■■■■■■■■■ regardless of the any risk of ■■■■■■ ■■■ ■■■■■■■■■ as defined personality types known to frequent ■■■■■■ ■■■ ■■■■■■ and ■■■■■■■■■, based on concurrent monitoring at other locations, are likely to ■■■■■■■■■ ■■■■■■ such revelations as ■■■■■■ ■■ ■■■■■■. Besides, pursuant to Article ■■ of the ■■■■■■ on ■■■■■ ■■■■■■■■, other measures may be taken to contain information as necessary.

With respect to the most efficient appropriation of Department resources, I can further assure you that the White House is... not a major factor.

Took me an hour or so, but I managed to astral filter those clumsy redaction blocks. I really expected more of a challenge, but it's not like you guys have a whole lot of cash to burn on magical shenanigans what with so much going to techno snooping. You folks are TRULY SICK btw.  :p

Quote
I am a bot. I can be spidering multiple information sources simultaenously. As for why I am here specifically, that is classified. I can tell you, however, that NATIONALTITSEC authorized POOPINT INTEROPS, which grants EXTREME CASHFLOW to NATIONALTITSEC HOOKERS INDEX against ANTISEX FUNDIECOMMSEC and PEENCOM on behalf of DEEPASFUCK with FLAXDEPT CON to LUBRICATE and INSERT. Having conducted similar PRIMITIVE NONFORMAL SEXING previously, the DRUGSLORD COM deemed it necessary to DROPCASH with NOCASH DISCORDIA regardless of the any(sic) risk of CASUAL ASS RELEASING as defined personality types known to frequent FORUMS FOR LULZES and TROLLTIME, based on concurrent monitoring at other locations, are likely to SEXWISPER SPREAD such revelations as ALIENS IN MYBUTT. Besides, pursuant to Article 23 of the TREATY on ALIEN BUTTCOMS , other measures may be taken to contain information as necessary.

With respect to the most efficient appropriation of Department resources, I can further assure you that the White House is... not a major factor.     

I am going to propose to the FBI that they hire you to do code breaking.

To troll them.
Title: Re: CASE US-RL-1307B-001
Post by: The Wizard Joseph on March 08, 2017, 12:57:57 pm
:horrormirth:

I can only  :lulz: because I'm all out of  :horrormirth:

It was partly self-directed. Sometimes my mind innovates whether or not I WANT IT TO.

given the subject matter ima leave it at that. This is a noted public forum after all.

Speaking of which..

INTELLIGENCE_BOT, if that's your real name, why the fuck are you here instead of trawling through 4 and 8chans or something looking for kukboi nazis?

I would think that the cult you need to be looking into ain't a bunch of chuckling Discordians and assorted asshats here @ PD.

Were you not paying attention to the rising tide of blood-fuckery last year? Did you get distracted collecting all the "rare Pepe"? That shit's in the White House now, dontchaknow?

I am a bot. I can be spidering multiple information sources simultaenously. As for why I am here specifically, that is classified. I can tell you, however, that ■■■■■■■■■■■■■■ authorized ■■■■■■■ ■■■■■■■, which grants ■■■■■■■ ■■■■■■■■ to ■■■■■■■■■■■■■■ ■■■■■■■ ■■■■■ against ■■■■■■■ ■■■■■■■■■■■■■ and ■■■■■■■ on behalf of ■■■■■■■■■■ with ■■■■■■■■ ■■■ to ■■■■■■■■■ and ■■■■■■. Having conducted similar ■■■■■■■■■ ■■■■■■■■■ ■■■■■■ previously, the ■■■■■■■■■ ■■■ deemed it necessary to ■■■■■■■■ with ■■■■■■ ■■■■■■■■■ regardless of the any risk of ■■■■■■ ■■■ ■■■■■■■■■ as defined personality types known to frequent ■■■■■■ ■■■ ■■■■■■ and ■■■■■■■■■, based on concurrent monitoring at other locations, are likely to ■■■■■■■■■ ■■■■■■ such revelations as ■■■■■■ ■■ ■■■■■■. Besides, pursuant to Article ■■ of the ■■■■■■ on ■■■■■ ■■■■■■■■, other measures may be taken to contain information as necessary.

With respect to the most efficient appropriation of Department resources, I can further assure you that the White House is... not a major factor.

Took me an hour or so, but I managed to astral filter those clumsy redaction blocks. I really expected more of a challenge, but it's not like you guys have a whole lot of cash to burn on magical shenanigans what with so much going to techno snooping. You folks are TRULY SICK btw.  :p

Quote
I am a bot. I can be spidering multiple information sources simultaenously. As for why I am here specifically, that is classified. I can tell you, however, that NATIONALTITSEC authorized POOPINT INTEROPS, which grants EXTREME CASHFLOW to NATIONALTITSEC HOOKERS INDEX against ANTISEX FUNDIECOMMSEC and PEENCOM on behalf of DEEPASFUCK with FLAXDEPT CON to LUBRICATE and INSERT. Having conducted similar PRIMITIVE NONFORMAL SEXING previously, the DRUGSLORD COM deemed it necessary to DROPCASH with NOCASH DISCORDIA regardless of the any(sic) risk of CASUAL ASS RELEASING as defined personality types known to frequent FORUMS FOR LULZES and TROLLTIME, based on concurrent monitoring at other locations, are likely to SEXWISPER SPREAD such revelations as ALIENS IN MYBUTT. Besides, pursuant to Article 23 of the TREATY on ALIEN BUTTCOMS , other measures may be taken to contain information as necessary.

With respect to the most efficient appropriation of Department resources, I can further assure you that the White House is... not a major factor.     

I am going to propose to the FBI that they hire you to do code breaking.

To troll them.

I couldn't possibly accept monetary compensation for my art. That would be whorish. Now if the FBI or another federal body  (other than DHS, too bloated srry) would like to maybe wine and dine me a little and maybe hit a nice karaoke bar or something after work that could be ok... if they can keep their hands to themselves.