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I liked how they introduced her, like "her mother died in an insane asylum thinking she was Queen Victoria" and my thought was, I like where I think this is going. I was not disappointed.

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ITT, I wreck classic poetry.

Started by Doktor Howl, June 21, 2011, 06:22:55 PM

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Doktor Howl

#1 OZYCRAPULOUS

I met a traveller from an antique land
Who said: Two vast and trunkless legs of stone
Stand in the desert. Near them, on the sand,
Half sunk, a shattered toilet lies, whose commode
And blasted lid, and veneer of cold and crusted poop
Tell that its sculptor well those movements read
Which yet survive, sloppped on these lifeless things,
The hand that wiped them and the anus that bled.
And on the pedestal these words appear:
"My name is Doktor Howl, King of Tucson:
Look on my poop, ye Mighty, and despair!"
Nothing beside remains. Round the decay
Of that colossal wreck, boundless and bare
The loose and level turds stretch far away.
Molon Lube

Doktor Howl

#2:  The Horace Smith Version:

In Tucson's filthy silence, all alone,
Stands a gigantic turd, which far off throws
The only shadow that the Desert knows:
"I am great DOKTOR HOWL," carved in the porcelain throne,
"The King of Kings; this mighty shit shows
"The smears upon my hand." The City's gone,
Nought but the turd remaining to disclose
The site of this forgotten water closet.
We wonder, and some Hunter may express
Wonder like ours, when thro' the wilderness
Where Chicago stood, holding the septic tank in place,
He meets some feces huge, and stops to guess
What powerful but unrecorded race
Once shat in that annihilated place.

Molon Lube

Mesozoic Mister Nigel

"I'm guessing it was January 2007, a meeting in Bethesda, we got a bag of bees and just started smashing them on the desk," Charles Wick said. "It was very complicated."


Doktor Howl

Molon Lube

Idem


Slyph

Twas Shit and the Shitty Shit did Shit and Shit upon the Shit, all Shitty where the Shits, and the Shitty Shites Outshat.

(not calling this shit, I lailed)

Doktor Howl

#6
Quote from: Slyph on June 21, 2011, 08:32:13 PM
Twas Shit and the Shitty Shit did Shit and Shit upon the Shit, all Shitty where the Shits, and the Shitty Shites Outshat.

(not calling this shit, I lailed)

Joke dead.  I was going to do Kipling by channeling MRH, but this post has killed any desire to do so.
Molon Lube

Eve

You offend my poetry-loving sensibilities, sir. :horrormirth:

;) I laughed anyway.
Emotionally crippled narcissist.

Slyph

Quote from: Doktor Howl on June 21, 2011, 09:42:36 PM
Quote from: Slyph on June 21, 2011, 08:32:13 PM
Twas Shit and the Shitty Shit did Shit and Shit upon the Shit, all Shitty where the Shits, and the Shitty Shites Outshat.

(not calling this shit, I lailed)

Joke dead.  I was going to do Kipling by channeling MRH, but this post has killed any desire to do so.

Dim Mak motherfucker.

Doktor Howl

Quote from: Slyph on June 21, 2011, 10:32:30 PM
Quote from: Doktor Howl on June 21, 2011, 09:42:36 PM
Quote from: Slyph on June 21, 2011, 08:32:13 PM
Twas Shit and the Shitty Shit did Shit and Shit upon the Shit, all Shitty where the Shits, and the Shitty Shites Outshat.

(not calling this shit, I lailed)

Joke dead.  I was going to do Kipling by channeling MRH, but this post has killed any desire to do so.

Dim Mak motherfucker.

Sorry, I don't speak Belgian.  Fuck off.
Molon Lube

Dysfunctional Cunt

 :cry:

But I wanted to read the Rudyard Kipling....

rikki tikki tavi....

DAMN you slyph  :argh!:

Doktor Howl

Quote from: Khara on June 21, 2011, 10:42:50 PM
:cry:

But I wanted to read the Rudyard Kipling....

rikki tikki tavi....

DAMN you slyph  :argh!:

I was gonna do Tommy Atkins and MacDonough's Song.  I still might.
Molon Lube

Slyph

Well, I had a good innings. Cya folks.

Doktor Howl

Molon Lube

Luna

If it means Sylph is trying to stifle creativity around here, somebody needs to be fucked sideways, with a chainsaw.

This was awesome, Dok.
Death-dealing hormone freak of deliciousness
Pagan-Stomping Valkyrie of the Interbutts™
Rampaging Slayer of Shit-Fountain Habitues

"My father says that almost the whole world is asleep. Everybody you know, everybody you see, everybody you talk to. He says that only a few people are awake, and they live in a state of constant, total amazement."

Quote from: The Payne on November 16, 2011, 07:08:55 PM
If Luna was a furry, she'd sex humans and scream "BEASTIALITY!" at the top of her lungs at inopportune times.

Quote from: Nigel on March 24, 2011, 01:54:48 AM
I like the Luna one. She is a good one.

Quote
"Stop talking to yourself.  You don't like you any better than anyone else who knows you."