Merry Cursemas!

[Nephew Twiddleton]

Damn suu. What did i do to deserve that?

[Suu]

Nothing, really. I would just blame the MBTA.

[Nephew Twiddleton]

Mmm green line. Plausible scenario.

[Richter]

Your curses are as follows:

Twid:  The Beat.  The Rhythm.  The Funk.  These three horrible taskmasters will never leave you.  Like insatiably and mildly abrasive muses youwill both loathe and long for them.  To great heights will they propel you, but there may be screaming involved.  And fluid.  Jsut no fun otherwise.

Cramulus:  Krampus, Cramulus.  Coincidence? I'm onto you.  How dare you hog the fun.  I curse you by letting this little fact slide. 

LMNO:  Hold still a second.  I need to see if the stage is level.

[Phox]

Curses. I am without curses.

Random curses as follows:

Coyote: You will lose your shovel for a period of no less than 72 hours.

Cainad: Chester A. Arthur will come back from the dead, and beat you in a muttonchop contest. Not really a curse, just a prophecy.

Richter: You will learn the hard way why paring your nails with a parang is a bad idea.

Twid: Pedal failure. 'Nuff said.

Suu: More vile humidity and funk in Florida. Then, a return to Rhode Island. I think that's harsh enough.

Cramulus: For the next 24 hours: The Parrot sketch. Over. And over.  It is now in your head.

[Freeky]

 

I CURSE YOU FUCKERS TO BITE YOUR TONGUE BADLY ENOUGH THAT IT GETS SOMEWHAT SWOLLEN AND A LITTLE SCRATCHED, THE SCRATCH THEN TURNING INTO A CANKER WITHIN A FEW HOURS, AND THERE FORE YOU KEEP BITING IT ON THE MOST PAINFUL PART AGAN AND AGAIN.


THAT'LL TEACH YOU BASTARDS NOT TO CURSE ME.  MISERABLE FUCKS.  

[Phox]

FREEKY! You horrible bastard! 

I curse you to feel like you have to burp, but don't actually burp for like... 20 minutes! 

[EK WAFFLR]

I curse the first person to read this to have an irritating itch just out of reach on their backs, which WON'T GO AWAY FOR AT LEAST HALF AN HOUR.

[Phox]

I curse the first person to read this to have an irritating itch just out of reach on their backs, which WON'T GO AWAY FOR AT LEAST HALF AN HOUR.

Oh you fucking cockbandit! 

I curse you to have Bing Crosby invade your dreams!

[EK WAFFLR]

I curse you to have Bing Crosby invade your dreams!

I Curse Phox to suffer through five Soviet action movies from the 70's.Without subtitles.

TGRR: I curse you so that everyone in Tuscon talks in a Manchester dialect for the next 74 hours.

[Eater of Clowns]

OH HO HO MERRY 3-YEAR-BUMP CURSEMAS

Demolition Squid:  I curse you to be the protagonist of Brother Prickle's "Lovecraft for Squids" story

QGP:  I curse you with a sudden overwhelming flood of the flavor of all of your cookies at once

Waffles:  Next time you lift, your beard will only be able to bench half its regular max

Hoopla:  Every time you enter a room, Blame Canada will play in your head, as well as the heads of whoever is in the room

Roger:  For one day, Tucson will not be a ghost. For one day, Tucson will be very, very real.

LMNO:  Your next show is going to let out in time for attendees to grab an early bird special.

Twid:  You will read your own name as Uncle Diddlertown for one week.

Nigel:  You will swim in the river.

Junkenstein:  All you can think about wanting for your next meal is a sandwich from the back of a truck handed to you in a towel.

[Eater of Clowns]

Bearman:  The bear to which your name refers is a koala.

NoLeDeMiel:  Today only the curse that is presently on you is lifted. You know which one.

MAESTRO:  Nobody will recognize you without your luchador mask.

Cain:  Your next job application will require a PhD in Doctor Who. You will have to acquire it via Tumblr.

Pix:  Every time you pass a sewer drain, you will think you've spotted a Nessie.

[LMNO]

 

[Nephew Twiddleton]

EoC- For every night up until the Epiphany or Little Christmas or whatever you feel like calling the 12th day, you will have nightmares that you are eaten by clowns.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

Not the river!