Principia Discordia

Principia Discordia => Think for Yourself, Schmuck! => Topic started by: Doktor Howl on July 27, 2011, 07:11:36 pm

Title: The TGRR Rules, Adages, and Redman-esque Advice for Humans.
Post by: Doktor Howl on July 27, 2011, 07:11:36 pm
In an effort to preserve the lore of the Late Good Reverend Roger, I will be collecting most of his drug-addled turds of wisdom.  Feel free to contribute, if I miss any.

I'll start with his standardized Ironclad Rules for Thinking for Yourself.

Rules 1-20

1.  Lots of shit happens that you aren't told about.

2.  Everything is funny when it happens to someone else.

3.  It's even funny when it happens to you.

4.  At least half of what you think you know is wrong, to one degree or another. 

5.  When evidence is presented that contradicts your worldview, maybe you should re-examine both the evidence and your worldview.

6.  Everyone is retarded some of the time.  The trick is to be retarded as seldom as is possible.

7.  When the rock hits you, holler.

8.  Jesus might provide.  You should probably take steps of your own, at least until he gets around to you.

9.  There is no such thing as "abuse of freedom".

10.  The Law should be the servant of Freedom.  If it isn't, go all Chainsaw Billy and start over.

11.  If you hate skeptics, you probably have bad ideas.

12.  Bad signal, acted upon by yourself or someone else, causes 50% of all the trouble you run into.

13.  The other 50% is caused by stupidity and bad luck.

14.  If it has to be classified or kept secret, it's wrong.

15.  Cops and other authority figures are interested in cleaning their desk, not in seeing justice done.

16.  Three phrases, when used appropriately can smooth out most altercations:  "I'm sorry", "I was wrong", and "I don't know...Let me check."

17.  Happy marriages are usually based on the ability of both people to say "I love you", when you really want to show them what's what.  This also applies to friendships.

18.  If drink or drugs unwinds the spring in your head, be sure to party alone.

19.  There's an asshole in every crowd.  If you can't tell who the asshole is, it's probably you.

20.  If there's nothing to win, don't fight.
Title: Re: The TGRR Rules, Adages, and Redman-esque Advice for Humans.
Post by: Don Coyote on July 27, 2011, 07:15:36 pm
In an effort to preserve the lore of the Late Good Reverend Roger, I will be collecting most of his drug-addled turds of wisdom.  Feel free to contribute, if I miss any.

I'll start with his standardized Ironclad Rules for Thinking for Yourself.

Rules 1-20

1.  Lots of shit happens that you aren't told about.

2.  Everything is funny when it happens to someone else.

3.  It's even funny when it happens to you.

4.  At least half of what you think you know is wrong, to one degree or another. 

5.  When evidence is presented that contradicts your worldview, maybe you should re-examine both the evidence and your worldview.

6.  Everyone is retarded some of the time.  The trick is to be retarded as seldom as is possible.

7.  When the rock hits you, holler.

8.  Jesus might provide.  You should probably take steps of your own, at least until he gets around to you.

9.  There is no such thing as "abuse of freedom".

10.  The Law should be the servant of Freedom.  If it isn't, go all Chainsaw Billy and start over.

11.  If you hate skeptics, you probably have bad ideas.

12.  Bad signal, acted upon by yourself or someone else, causes 50% of all the trouble you run into.

13.  The other 50% is caused by stupidity and bad luck.

14.  If it has to be classified or kept secret, it's wrong.

15.  Cops and other authority figures are interested in cleaning their desk, not in seeing justice done.

16.  Three phrases, when used appropriately can smooth out most altercations:  "I'm sorry", "I was wrong", and "I don't know...Let me check."

17.  Happy marriages are usually based on the ability of both people to say "I love you", when you really want to show them what's what.  This also applies to friendships.

18.  If drink or drugs unwinds the spring in your head, be sure to party alone.

19.  There's an asshole in every crowd.  If you can't tell who the asshole is, it's probably you.

20.  If there's nothing to win, don't fight.

Printing this out.
Title: Re: The TGRR Rules, Adages, and Redman-esque Advice for Humans.
Post by: Jenne on July 27, 2011, 07:16:50 pm
Although #18 makes me a sad panda, it's ALL TRUE.  ALL SO VERY TRUE.  :mittens:

Half this shit, I had to live to be almost 40 to get.
Title: Re: The TGRR Rules, Adages, and Redman-esque Advice for Humans.
Post by: Luna on July 27, 2011, 07:19:47 pm
Print it out?  The next time I get the urge to needlepoint (which could be the sixth of Never), I may start a sampler with some of these.
Title: Re: The TGRR Rules, Adages, and Redman-esque Advice for Humans.
Post by: Doktor Howl on July 27, 2011, 07:34:03 pm
A Parable, as told by TGRR:

Five blind wise men came upon an elephant.  They were not sure what the elephant was, so they each grabbed part of the elephant, in an attempt to describe it.  The elephant, being an elephant, got pissed off and trampled all the blind wise men to death. 

The moral of this parable is this:  Don't grab dangerous animals.
Title: Re: The TGRR Rules, Adages, and Redman-esque Advice for Humans.
Post by: Doktor Howl on July 27, 2011, 07:40:50 pm
TGRR came across a wise man in the street.  The wise man said unto TGRR, "Only by eliminating desire can you attain enlightenment".  TGRR did respond, "And what does enlightenment actually do for me?", whereupon the wise man grew angry, and lost his satori.

When asked why he had vexed the wise man so, TGRR replied, "Enlightenment and $2 will get you a cup of coffee at McDonalds."

Title: Re: The TGRR Rules, Adages, and Redman-esque Advice for Humans.
Post by: Freeky on July 27, 2011, 07:43:30 pm
:spittake:

RICE UP MY FUCKING NOSE! FROM THE BACK!
Title: Re: The TGRR Rules, Adages, and Redman-esque Advice for Humans.
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on July 27, 2011, 07:47:34 pm
THIS IS FUCKING RAD. :mittens:
Title: Re: The TGRR Rules, Adages, and Redman-esque Advice for Humans.
Post by: Doktor Howl on July 27, 2011, 08:02:41 pm
Rules 21-40

21.  You should never act on incomplete information unless you happen to be on fire.

22.  Don't allow your opponent to frame the debate.

23.  Don't allow your opponent to trick you into competing on his terms.

24.  Crapping on your congressman's office steps is 20 times more effective than 1000 letters.  But it can get you arrested, so do it way late at night.

25.  If the rules look impossible, take some time to examine what the rules don't cover.

26.  Being polite costs you nothing, but it can occasionally be fatal.

27.  Artillery always has the right of way.  

28.  Speak softly, and hire a guy with a really big stick.

29.  Slow down and get done faster.

30.  Measure twice, cut once ("I've cut it three times and it's still too fucking short!").

31.  Unless you are paid to validate other peoples' failure, don't.

32.  When considering the tale of the ant and the grasshopper, remember that the grasshopper can always eat the ant.

33.  As information technology improves, people get dumber.  This is established fact.

34.  Rudyard Kipling was right most of the time.

35.  Martin Luther King Jr was more free while in the Birmingham Jail than most people will ever be in their own homes.

36.  It's still better not to be in jail, though.

37.  The only defense against fascism is laughter.  Or a big army.  Try the first, but rely on the second.

38.  90% of people will do whatever the fuck they're told to do by a police officer, no matter how silly or inappropriate.

39.  "Getting a friend's attention" by shitting on them gets you the attention, but not the friend.

40.  Making enemies for no reason is stupid.  Don't be stupid.
Title: Re: The TGRR Rules, Adages, and Redman-esque Advice for Humans.
Post by: Cramulus on July 27, 2011, 08:15:05 pm
:mittens: a handy reference

Agree with every single one. I especially love #9 -- there's no such thing as "Abuse of Freedom".

Can you elaborate on #14? "If it has to be classified or kept secret, it's wrong"
Title: Re: The TGRR Rules, Adages, and Redman-esque Advice for Humans.
Post by: Doktor Howl on July 27, 2011, 08:21:04 pm
:mittens: a handy reference

Agree with every single one. I especially love #9 -- there's no such thing as "Abuse of Freedom".

Can you elaborate on #14? "If it has to be classified or kept secret, it's wrong"

Ever see someone make a big secret out of something they're proud of doing? 

At the goverment level, they say "National Security" which, roughly translated, means "Shut up and sit down."

If they weren't up to some fishy shit, they wouldn't say that.
Title: Re: The TGRR Rules, Adages, and Redman-esque Advice for Humans.
Post by: Jenne on July 27, 2011, 09:06:24 pm
Quote
34.  Rudyard Kipling was right most of the time.

:x

Love the extended version!
Title: Re: The TGRR Rules, Adages, and Redman-esque Advice for Humans.
Post by: Triple Zero on July 28, 2011, 01:22:38 am
I don't understand #8, but I absolutely 169% agree with and love #16 :)
Title: Re: The TGRR Rules, Adages, and Redman-esque Advice for Humans.
Post by: Jenne on July 28, 2011, 01:46:07 am
@Trip: there's a sentiment amongst the "holy" Jebus-followers that "God will provide." this is a certain lackadaisicality that breeds enormously to little good effect here in US and A
Title: Re: The TGRR Rules, Adages, and Redman-esque Advice for Humans.
Post by: *GrumpButt* on July 28, 2011, 04:06:19 am
Printed :P
Title: Re: The TGRR Rules, Adages, and Redman-esque Advice for Humans.
Post by: The Johnny on July 28, 2011, 05:31:55 am
21.  You should never act on incomplete information unless you happen to be on fire.

Dont we always have incomplete information?

Or if we dont, when is it complete? (i wouldnt think its a nihilistic posture arguing for never doing anything?)
Title: Re: The TGRR Rules, Adages, and Redman-esque Advice for Humans.
Post by: President Television on July 28, 2011, 05:57:15 am
21.  You should never act on incomplete information unless you happen to be on fire.

Dont we always have incomplete information?

Or if we dont, when is it complete? (i wouldnt think its a nihilistic posture arguing for never doing anything?)

I could be wrong, but I think he means "don't act when you don't know everything you need to know about the situation."
Title: Re: The TGRR Rules, Adages, and Redman-esque Advice for Humans.
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on July 28, 2011, 07:41:40 am
This is some fucking Scripture, right here.
Title: Re: The TGRR Rules, Adages, and Redman-esque Advice for Humans.
Post by: Cain on July 28, 2011, 08:03:13 am
I normally agree with #11, but I can think of an exception.  Namely, my boss, who approaches life with a form of naive empiricism which means, unless he directly sees something occuring, it didn't happen.  Regardless of the mountain of paperwork and signed statements from 20 different members of staff attesting to what is going on.

I fucking hate him.
Title: Re: The TGRR Rules, Adages, and Redman-esque Advice for Humans.
Post by: Doktor Howl on August 19, 2011, 05:13:35 pm
41.  Weird pulls in more weird.

42.  If you've been married 9 times, maybe it's you.

43.  A day without 3D movies is like a day without root canal work.

44.  When someone says, "It's not the money", it's the money.

45.  It's entirely possible that you aren't the main character.  However, you should act as if you are, just in case.  If you're wearing a red shirt, though, just lie down and wait for the end.

46.  Order of death in horror movies:  The Black dude, the tramp, any Hispanics that are around, the partiers, the cop, everyone else.  The prude gets to live.  Like all things Hollywood, slasher flicks are morality plays.

47.  If at first you don't succeed, cover up all evidence that you ever tried, and blame the president.

48.  Beauty is only skin deep, but ugly goes right to the bone.

49.  My reality tunnel is different than yours.

50.  Don't fry bacon without a shirt on.

51.  Cosmopolitan Magazine is not found in the possession of happy women.

52.  Never share a foxhole with anyone braver than yourself.

53.  You can't fix stupid.

54.  If the cops and paramedics are throwing up, don't look.

55.  If you don't feel right, go to the fucking doctor.  Whatever horrible thing you think it might be isn't going to get better on its own, and it will probably get worse.

56.  If you MUST trust or believe in a politician, at least make sure you're using protection.

57.  The universe doesn't actually care if you don't look at things objectively.  The results will not reflect your opinions.

58.  Alfred Pennyworth was right.

59.  Never play pool with someone who is nicknamed after a city.

60.  You probably worry too much.
Title: Re: The TGRR Rules, Adages, and Redman-esque Advice for Humans.
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on August 19, 2011, 05:36:22 pm
YESSSSSS.
Title: Re: The TGRR Rules, Adages, and Redman-esque Advice for Humans.
Post by: Disco Pickle on August 19, 2011, 05:52:38 pm
these are great.

(http://img683.imageshack.us/img683/1734/tggrcommandments.jpg)

I couldn't find one big enough so lost a lot of quality on the resize.

I'll redo it if someone has a bigger head.
Title: Re: The TGRR Rules, Adages, and Redman-esque Advice for Humans.
Post by: Roly Poly Oly-Garch on November 13, 2011, 07:04:29 am
@Trip: there's a sentiment amongst the "holy" Jebus-followers that "God will provide." this is a certain lackadaisicality that breeds enormously to little good effect here in US and A

Before there was a full-blown climate change denier faction, Mr. Rush actually cited that as his opposition to climate change legislation. Mega-dittos, sir, Mega-dittos.
Title: Re: The TGRR Rules, Adages, and Redman-esque Advice for Humans.
Post by: Roly Poly Oly-Garch on November 13, 2011, 07:08:49 am
I will not live under the tyrannical claw of #43. Except #18 is worth 7 #43's, so I guess the list still nets +6. 
Title: Re: The TGRR Rules, Adages, and Redman-esque Advice for Humans.
Post by: President Television on November 13, 2011, 10:04:03 pm
I will not live under the tyrannical claw of #43. Except #18 is worth 7 #43's, so I guess the list still nets +6.  

I can think of exactly one exception to #43. The Lion King 3D. Shit was awesome, visually. Layers and layers of beautifully-drawn wildlife on the savannah.
That being said, the majority of 3D movies are atrocious, and I generally don't go to movies for the visuals alone, so...
Title: Re: The TGRR Rules, Adages, and Redman-esque Advice for Humans.
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on November 14, 2011, 03:30:03 pm
61.  "Team building exercises" are designed to make people that hate each other spend more time together.

62.  If someone's a complete asshole, there's no need to find out why.

63.  Your dog is a better person than you are.

64.  A psychophysiologist  by the name of Thomas Mulholland proved in 2006 that after only 30 seconds of watching TV, your brain produces more alpha waves, which indicate that you are in a heightened state of reception.  This may explain why some people still believe the news.

65.  If you are truly determined, nothing can stop you.  Except the laws of physics and irresponsible levels of police violence.

66.  The trick to writing is knowing when to stop.  There was only one story for The Blues Brothers, for example.  Some people should stop before they start.

67.  If you have to rationalize your actions, you are being a bad person.

68.  The lesser of two evils is still evil.

69.  Never draw on an inside straight.

70.  Getting mad can change the behavior of people, but not the behavior of equipment.

71.  Getting mad cannot, however, change peoples' capabilities.

72.  Being polite doesn't cost you a thing, under any circumstances.

73.  Never trust a smiling Englishman.

74.  Make an American mad, he'll slap sanctions on you.  Scare an American, and he'll try to kill you.

75.  The only difference between modern America and Ancient Rome is that America sits between two oceans.

76.  No matter how offended you are, Pi is still not 3 (I'm talking to you, Indiana).

77.  Homeschooling a child to avoid bullying is like taking a soldier out of basic training to avoid having him get yelled at.  Sure, he's happy NOW, but sooner or later, he's gonna get proper fucked.

78.  Get a population used to perpetual war, and you have a nation of slaves. 

79.  Stop being a pussy, and they'll stop fucking you.

80.  Three things that should be illegal:  a) golfing  b) Seatte c) The making of lists.
Title: Re: The TGRR Rules, Adages, and Redman-esque Advice for Humans.
Post by: Triple Zero on November 14, 2011, 04:46:46 pm
:mittens:

except I have no idea what this one means:

> 69.  Never draw on an inside straight.

could be either an engineering term, a poker term, or advice on how to make your clothes last longer in the washer?
Title: Re: The TGRR Rules, Adages, and Redman-esque Advice for Humans.
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on November 14, 2011, 04:50:33 pm
:mittens:

except I have no idea what this one means:

> 69.  Never draw on an inside straight.

could be either an engineering term, a poker term, or advice on how to make your clothes last longer in the washer?

It's a poker term.  If you have a 5,6,8, and 9, do not stay in looking to draw a 7, unless you are in the mood to give your money to someone like me.
Title: Re: The TGRR Rules, Adages, and Redman-esque Advice for Humans.
Post by: Triple Zero on November 14, 2011, 04:57:33 pm
I see. Myself I usually go with: Don't play poker for real (amounts of) money until you spend some time learning about the probabilities involved. Which should cover that.
Title: Re: The TGRR Rules, Adages, and Redman-esque Advice for Humans.
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on November 14, 2011, 05:16:25 pm
I see. Myself I usually go with: Don't play poker for real (amounts of) money until you spend some time learning about the probabilities involved. Which should cover that.

If you can't count cards, don't play.

And playing poker for free is every bit as immoral as playing chess for money.
Title: Re: The TGRR Rules, Adages, and Redman-esque Advice for Humans.
Post by: Triple Zero on November 14, 2011, 05:34:32 pm
Oh I don't generally play for free, but there have been a few rare occasions where my friends really didn't want to do anything else so I weighed off the certainty of losing my buy-in (about $3.50) versus hanging around a bit more and having some fun. Fun being, pushing chips around until they're gone, maybe fucking someone over because the money's lost anyway.

Usually I decide to spend it on beer instead. ($3.50 equals about two pilsners at that place)

I never really saw the appeal of poker, though. As far as I understand, even if you're strictly smarter than the other people, if they have a littlebit of skill (aka much better than me), you're still going to play a very long time to come out ahead on average? My experience is, you (obviously) hardly ever get the awesome hands they get in the movies, and the whole pokerface/bluffing thing is quite oversold as well.
Title: Re: The TGRR Rules, Adages, and Redman-esque Advice for Humans.
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on November 14, 2011, 05:36:19 pm
Oh I don't generally play for free, but there have been a few rare occasions where my friends really didn't want to do anything else so I weighed off the certainty of losing my buy-in (about $3.50) versus hanging around a bit more and having some fun. Fun being, pushing chips around until they're gone, maybe fucking someone over because the money's lost anyway.

Usually I decide to spend it on beer instead. ($3.50 equals about two pilsners at that place)

I never really saw the appeal of poker, though. As far as I understand, even if you're strictly smarter than the other people, if they have a littlebit of skill (aka much better than me), you're still going to play a very long time to come out ahead on average? My experience is, you (obviously) hardly ever get the awesome hands they get in the movies, and the whole pokerface/bluffing thing is quite oversold as well.

Balls.  The entire game is based on bluffing, and in keeping track of probabilities to see if the other guy is bluffing.
Title: Re: The TGRR Rules, Adages, and Redman-esque Advice for Humans.
Post by: Triple Zero on November 14, 2011, 06:13:14 pm
Okay I probably underestimated the bluffing aspect then, as you need a good sense of the probabilities to use it, or even notice it.

Sounds like I should build a Monte Carlo simulation of Texas Holdem and figure out how the probabilities go, then :)

(indeed named after the casino, a simulation technique that roughly involves doing millions of random trials and counting them)
Title: Re: The TGRR Rules, Adages, and Redman-esque Advice for Humans.
Post by: LMNO on November 14, 2011, 06:38:35 pm
If you want to skip that part, http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_poker_hands has the probabilities.

Title: Re: The TGRR Rules, Adages, and Redman-esque Advice for Humans.
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on November 14, 2011, 06:47:40 pm
:mittens: I like this installment.
Title: Re: The TGRR Rules, Adages, and Redman-esque Advice for Humans.
Post by: Triple Zero on November 14, 2011, 07:13:57 pm
If you want to skip that part, http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_poker_hands has the probabilities.

Thanks :) Less fun that way though: I'm a really odd gamer, I tend to enjoy "cracking" or subverting the rules a lot more than actually playing.

If you know the probabilities by heart though, does that tell you exactly how to play? When to fold, etc? It also depends on the other player's actions until now, right?

But it's a good reference anyway because I don't quite exactly recall which hands are worth more than others either.
Title: Re: The TGRR Rules, Adages, and Redman-esque Advice for Humans.
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on November 14, 2011, 07:22:35 pm
If you want to skip that part, http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_poker_hands has the probabilities.

Thanks :) Less fun that way though: I'm a really odd gamer, I tend to enjoy "cracking" or subverting the rules a lot more than actually playing.

Around here, that gets the big BWYD.
Title: Re: The TGRR Rules, Adages, and Redman-esque Advice for Humans.
Post by: Triple Zero on November 14, 2011, 07:26:44 pm
Checked your Devil's Dictionary and Urban Dictionary, coming up with nothing. But it sounds bad.

It's my hacker genes, sorry?
Title: Re: The TGRR Rules, Adages, and Redman-esque Advice for Humans.
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on November 14, 2011, 07:30:05 pm
Checked your Devil's Dictionary and Urban Dictionary, coming up with nothing. But it sounds bad.

It's my hacker genes, sorry?

*BANG*  WHAT'RE YOU DOING?

(Shoot first, then ask silly questions.)
Title: Re: The TGRR Rules, Adages, and Redman-esque Advice for Humans.
Post by: Triple Zero on November 14, 2011, 07:44:45 pm
Well that's a good reason why 1) not playing for big money [i'd just lose it anyhow] and 2) cracking a game doesn't even require playing it and subverting is only funny once (which means I can wait for an opportunity with a bit more forgiving buddies ;-) )
Title: Re: The TGRR Rules, Adages, and Redman-esque Advice for Humans.
Post by: Luna on November 14, 2011, 09:36:02 pm
Never, ever bet (or loan) what you can't afford to and aren't willing to give away.
Title: Re: The TGRR Rules, Adages, and Redman-esque Advice for Humans.
Post by: Roly Poly Oly-Garch on November 21, 2011, 12:40:11 am

69.  Never draw on an inside straight.


...Unless you're playing for a long term payout against a really serious, super knowledgeable, highly superior player. In which case, do it when you can afford it, because one of those 13 or so times you're gonna hit it, and then when you show, and Mr. Poker sees that you drew on an inside straight and hit it, that summabitch is gonna erupt like Vesuvius and spit fire, destruction, and chips (mainly chips...mountains of chips) all over your sorry donk ass. Piss them off good enough and it could take a month or two at a weekly game before they get tired of losing to people so far below their skill level and go find a game worthy of an elite player.

Oh...and also, unless you're playing against me...in which case ALWAYS draw on an inside straight.
Title: Re: The TGRR Rules, Adages, and Redman-esque Advice for Humans.
Post by: Payne on November 21, 2011, 08:06:34 am
Oh I don't generally play for free, but there have been a few rare occasions where my friends really didn't want to do anything else so I weighed off the certainty of losing my buy-in (about $3.50) versus hanging around a bit more and having some fun. Fun being, pushing chips around until they're gone, maybe fucking someone over because the money's lost anyway.

Usually I decide to spend it on beer instead. ($3.50 equals about two pilsners at that place)

I never really saw the appeal of poker, though. As far as I understand, even if you're strictly smarter than the other people, if they have a littlebit of skill (aka much better than me), you're still going to play a very long time to come out ahead on average? My experience is, you (obviously) hardly ever get the awesome hands they get in the movies, and the whole pokerface/bluffing thing is quite oversold as well.

Balls.  The entire game is based on bluffing, and in keeping track of probabilities to see if the other guy is bluffing.

Poker is an intriguing game. But how it's shown on TV and presented in the media is very much "Wrestling! WITH CARDS!". Crazy outfits, big talk and odd rivalries permeate the late night shows on TV here, at least, and I assume over in the States too (a lot of our programming originates there). It's crazy fabulous, but it does seem to stop me from properly wrapping my head around it. What happens if I end up like one of them?

It's odd that I should think like this maybe, that I should put so much emphasis on not wanting to wear a silly hat on TV is what is stopping me from learning the game properly. But screw it, the ways of The Messiah are mysterious.
Title: Re: The TGRR Rules, Adages, and Redman-esque Advice for Humans.
Post by: Xicked on November 22, 2011, 08:37:49 am
If you want to skip that part, http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_poker_hands has the probabilities.

Thanks :) Less fun that way though: I'm a really odd gamer, I tend to enjoy "cracking" or subverting the rules a lot more than actually playing.

If you know the probabilities by heart though, does that tell you exactly how to play? When to fold, etc? It also depends on the other player's actions until now, right?

But it's a good reference anyway because I don't quite exactly recall which hands are worth more than others either.


Knowing probabilities can help you to make the best mathematical decisions (which over the long run will result in profit) but making the most profitable decisions (and stroking your ego as the greatest poker player in the universe) often depends on your knowledge of the other player.  You may have a low probability of hitting your hand, but what are the odds of that particular opponent paying you off if you do hit, and are you getting the right price to take this chance?  How can you use his perception of you against him and make him fold what is probably a better hand?  So many variables come into play with different types of players and can result in a beautifully complex game.  With highly skilled players the cards often don't even matter... they play their opponent; not the cards.


Title: Re: The TGRR Rules, Adages, and Redman-esque Advice for Humans.
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on January 26, 2012, 05:28:26 am
"If you beat your sword into a plowshare, you will end up plowing the fields of those who kept their swords."
- Anonymous
Title: Re: The TGRR Rules, Adages, and Redman-esque Advice for Humans.
Post by: Luna on January 26, 2012, 10:45:02 am
"If you beat your sword into a plowshare, you will end up plowing the fields of those who kept their swords."
- Anonymous

I love this.
Title: Re: The TGRR Rules, Adages, and Redman-esque Advice for Humans.
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on February 14, 2012, 01:33:05 am
Porno Myth #1: If you come across a guy and his girlfriend having sex in the bushes, the boyfriend won't bash seven shades of shit out of you if you shove your cock in his girlfriend's mouth.
Title: Re: The TGRR Rules, Adages, and Redman-esque Advice for Humans.
Post by: Freeky on February 14, 2012, 01:45:12 am
Porno Myth #1: If you come across a guy and his girlfriend having sex in the bushes, the boyfriend won't bash seven shades of shit out of you if you shove your cock in his girlfriend's mouth.

:lol: 
I like this.  That's funny.
Title: Re: The TGRR Rules, Adages, and Redman-esque Advice for Humans.
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on February 14, 2012, 02:34:21 am
Porno Myth #2:  If you forget your pants before your shift as a pizza delivery guy, you'll get your brains banged out by cougars at every stop.

The bad news is, you'll get fired.  The good news is, you won't care.
Title: Re: The TGRR Rules, Adages, and Redman-esque Advice for Humans.
Post by: Freeky on February 14, 2012, 02:35:15 am
That one gave me the warm fuzzies.  :lol:
Title: Re: The TGRR Rules, Adages, and Redman-esque Advice for Humans.
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on February 15, 2012, 07:40:30 pm
Everclear mixes with anything except sunrise.

Title: Re: The TGRR Rules, Adages, and Redman-esque Advice for Humans.
Post by: LMNO on February 15, 2012, 07:42:58 pm
That, sir, is poetry.




And TROOF.
Title: Re: The TGRR Rules, Adages, and Redman-esque Advice for Humans.
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on February 15, 2012, 07:45:49 pm
That, sir, is poetry.




And TROOF.

I'm still mentally sorting the last 3 weeks or so.
Title: Re: The TGRR Rules, Adages, and Redman-esque Advice for Humans.
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on February 15, 2012, 08:33:21 pm
You have to work for your cheddar.  Mice eat for free.
Title: Re: The TGRR Rules, Adages, and Redman-esque Advice for Humans.
Post by: rong on February 15, 2012, 10:51:52 pm
Everclear mixes with anything except sunrise.

sorry to contradict, but it mixes with sunrise too - i have proof.
Title: Re: The TGRR Rules, Adages, and Redman-esque Advice for Humans.
Post by: Doktor Howl on May 29, 2012, 06:03:19 pm
81.  "Impossible" is a stupid way to describe something that's already happened.

82.  There's a world of difference between the ways things should work and the way they do work.  This is why communism, libertarianism, and prohibition don't work.

83.  There is no problem so large that it can't be made worse by the good intentions of dumb people.

84.  There is no problem so large that it can't be fixed by Big Gay Cowboys. 

85.  Even if the Big Gay Cowboys can't fix it, you'll stop caring.

86.  The only thing worse than getting older is the alternative.

87.  You can't save anyone.

88.  Nobody can save you.

89.  It is better to light a flamethrower, than to sit and curse the dark.

90.  Nothing succeeds like excess, except when you're talking about police violence.

91.  When you can't find a place to put a booger, stick it back up your nose.

92.  If it looks like a bad cable, it's a bad cable.  If it looks like something else, it's still a bad cable.

93.  There comes a time when software is so advanced that it doesn't work at all.

94.  A bird in the hand is worth two in the SHUT UP.

95.  Always ensure that there's toilet paper BEFORE you shit.

96.  Drop your pants and roll in your mistakes.  It looks dumb, but not as dumb as digging in your heels looks.  Also, it's more fun.

97.  Individual civil liberty trumps everything.

98.  There is no substitute for experience.  Except maybe youth and energy.

99.  Violence - or the threat of violence - is the fastest way to end a problem.  But you'll get at least 3 NEW problems to solve, in the process.

100.  An election year in America is like having 312,000,000 toddlers in the back of a car, all chanting "are we there yet?"
Title: Re: The TGRR Rules, Adages, and Redman-esque Advice for Humans.
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on May 29, 2012, 06:14:54 pm
Oooh hot damn. Good batch!
Title: Re: The TGRR Rules, Adages, and Redman-esque Advice for Humans.
Post by: Tiddleywomp Cockletit on May 29, 2012, 06:17:44 pm
Holy(TM) Writ that's actually relevant. Mind consistently blown by this stuff.  :lol:
Title: Re: The TGRR Rules, Adages, and Redman-esque Advice for Humans.
Post by: Bebek Sincap Ratatosk on May 29, 2012, 06:30:18 pm
Number 82 probably applies to all -isms.

Good Stuff!
Title: Re: The TGRR Rules, Adages, and Redman-esque Advice for Humans.
Post by: Doktor Howl on May 29, 2012, 06:31:53 pm
Number 82 probably applies to all -isms.

Good Stuff!

Yes, but those are the 3 most glaring examples.

Also, supply-side economics.  There is NO evidence of it working, and TONS of evidence that it fails.

But we have to listen to people jabber about it at LEAST every 4 years.
Title: Re: The TGRR Rules, Adages, and Redman-esque Advice for Humans.
Post by: Bebek Sincap Ratatosk on May 29, 2012, 06:37:10 pm
Number 82 probably applies to all -isms.

Good Stuff!

Yes, but those are the 3 most glaring examples.

Also, supply-side economics.  There is NO evidence of it working, and TONS of evidence that it fails.

But we have to listen to people jabber about it at LEAST every 4 years.

But, But it trickles and floats boats, so it must be sound economic policy... or water... but those are close to the same thing, right?
Title: Re: The TGRR Rules, Adages, and Redman-esque Advice for Humans.
Post by: Tiddleywomp Cockletit on May 29, 2012, 06:38:54 pm
Number 82 probably applies to all -isms.

Good Stuff!

Yes, but those are the 3 most glaring examples.

Also, supply-side economics.  There is NO evidence of it working, and TONS of evidence that it fails.

But we have to listen to people jabber about it at LEAST every 4 years.

It's getting to be that time.  :x
Might make myself scarce on facebook if it starts looking like the LOLZ no longer outweigh the VOM factor.
Title: Re: The TGRR Rules, Adages, and Redman-esque Advice for Humans.
Post by: Luna on May 29, 2012, 08:32:58 pm
"If they only jabber about it once every four years, they are talking bullshit that never works, aimed at idiots with no memory and limited imagination."
Title: Re: The TGRR Rules, Adages, and Redman-esque Advice for Humans.
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on August 28, 2012, 07:47:42 pm
101.  If you throw a line out there to offend someone, why are you surprised when they get offended?

102.  If you make a living by driving truckloads of bees around, there's no need to worry about how much liability insurance you have.

103.  Have you tried turning it off and then on again?

104.  #103 does not work on people.

105.  #103 does not work on relationships.

106.  Policemen, as a rule, have no sense of humor.  Do not act as if they do.

107.  It might go IN easily.  A doctor may be required to get it OUT.  Consider this in advance.

108.  Don't do this.

109.  If I can't whup it, I'll GO DOWN. (CotSG proverb).

110.  Being witty on facebook is like being Albert Einstien in a school for the mentally handicapped.
Title: Re: The TGRR Rules, Adages, and Redman-esque Advice for Humans.
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on September 04, 2012, 08:47:26 pm
A sufficiently advanced ideology is indistinguishable from mental retardation.
Title: Re: The TGRR Rules, Adages, and Redman-esque Advice for Humans.
Post by: Juana Go? on September 04, 2012, 11:29:31 pm
:lulz: I like that one.
Title: Re: The TGRR Rules, Adages, and Redman-esque Advice for Humans.
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on September 09, 2013, 05:34:18 pm
Porno Myth #1: If you come across a guy and his girlfriend having sex in the bushes, the boyfriend won't bash seven shades of shit out of you if you shove your cock in his girlfriend's mouth.

Bump.
Title: Re: The TGRR Rules, Adages, and Redman-esque Advice for Humans.
Post by: LMNO on September 09, 2013, 05:43:12 pm
This still holds true.  Thanks, TGRR!
Title: Re: The TGRR Rules, Adages, and Redman-esque Advice for Humans.
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on September 09, 2013, 05:45:59 pm
This still holds true.  Thanks, TGRR!

Just keeping you bastards on the straight and narrow.
Title: Re: The TGRR Rules, Adages, and Redman-esque Advice for Humans.
Post by: Pere Ubu on October 16, 2013, 02:16:08 am
110.  Being witty on facebook is like being Albert Einstein in a school for the mentally handicapped.

Also holds true for 93.6% of comment threads/forums on the Internet, I've discovered.

Especially Youtube. CRIPES.