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My smut

Started by Genocide Device, March 25, 2007, 04:38:33 PM

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Genocide Device

I think I mentioned in my introduction that I was a writer,Ķ her his a sample that involves no gore,Ķ I,Äôm working up to the good stuff

Enjoy :D
I imagine that if you truly summed up life as a rode by which we travel, than that rode is lined every quarter century with out of the way purgatorial truck stops such as this.  The twang of blue grass country music adds a strange comfort to the half empty restaurant.  I dine with my last twenty dollars on some of the worst key lime pie I have ever had the privilege to tantalize my pallet with.  The coffee however is fucking spectacular.  Not one of those over priced immaculate French monstrosities; the type that are half foam and half sugar as only found in down town caf?©s.  No, this is of those good old Columbian black tar brews.  A coffee that stains the porcelain of the cup on contact and can only be purchased for consumption at run down greasy spoon dives such as this.  To drink it is to wage total war on your internal organs and central nervesystem.  It starts with a mad dog blitzkrieg on your stomach.  There it will dig trenches and begin a volley of chemical warfare to the remaining digestive system.  Throughout the day it will continue with a war of attrition slowly advancing all of its heavily armored forces until every organ in sight has been annihilated.  In its wake it spreads the fascist propaganda known as caffeine to each and every one of your blood cells until they revolt, storm the brain, overthrow its governing body and degenerate its underling factions into total anarchy.  Couple that with what ever the hell Nina gave me and you can kiss your hangover, as well as your liver, good by.  The waitress approaches and serves up yet another cup of steaming hot toxic waist.  It is my fifth.
   ,ÄúSon, ya,Äôll look justa,Äôbout have,Äôn had ta,Äô watched yer dog die.,Äù The long and shallow accentuations of her southern draw does little more than remind me of the depths to which I have been banished.
   ,ÄúThanks for those inspiring words, I had a hell of a night.,Äù These conversations generally go quickly.  I do my best to act casual and play along so I can get it over with.
   ,ÄúLooks ta me like yer a,Äôman question,Äôn the very principle of his worth.,Äù She fills up my cup, then a second and sits down. ,ÄúWhat,Äôs got,Äôcha bit on the buns hun?,Äù
   I have dealt with this kind before.  The lost out in the middle of no where down to earth goo roo of the simple life southern variety.  These people have a uniquely accurate understanding of how overly complicated we as people have made things.  They have lived their entire life busting ass for tips they only get if their customer leaves les pissed off and callow than as they came.  She is a bar top shrink who has heard it all and knows more than one way to make a total freak of nature feel comfortable for the first time in his own skin.  She has never met me though.
   ,ÄúI,Äôm suffering from a pore perspective on one big fucking moral dilemma.,Äù I lean heavily on one hand.
   ,ÄúOh I see, your son a homo or somth,Äôn?,Äù she fiddles around in her breast pocket for a pack of cigarettes and a match.
   ,ÄúI just spent last night having the best sex of my life and when I woke up today I discovered that this girl was the daughter of a woman I brutally tortured, raped, and murdered about thirteen years ago.,Äù  She goes to light the cigarette but stops dead in her tracks, the flame of the match burning just off from its target.
   ,ÄúWell now I have heard every thing,Ķ it,Äôs on the house.,Äù Mortified she stands up and walks away.

Coffee: the old prozac

LMNO

QuoteI think I mentioned in my introduction that I was a writer,Ķ her his a sample that involves no gore,Ķ I,Äôm working up to the good stuff

Enjoy
I imagine that if you truly summed up life as a rode

I stopped reading right there.


Bolded to point out why.

P3nT4gR4m

Shoulda kept going alphabet dude, you missed all the best ones.

Dozens there were.

I'm up to my arse in Brexit Numpties, but I want more.  Target-rich environments are the new sexy.
Not actually a meat product.
Ass-Kicking & Foot-Stomping Ancient Master of SHIT FUCK FUCK FUCK
Awful and Bent Behemothic Results of Last Night's Painful Squat.
High Altitude Haggis-Filled Sex Bucket From Beyond Time and Space.
Internet Monkey Person of Filthy and Immoral Pygmy-Porn Wart Contagion
Octomom Auxillary Heat Exchanger Repairman
walking the fine line line between genius and batshit fucking crazy

"computation is a pattern in the spacetime arrangement of particles, and it's not the particles but the pattern that really matters! Matter doesn't matter." -- Max Tegmark

LMNO

Oh, man.


QuoteI dine with my last twenty dollars on some of the worst key lime pie I have ever had the privilege to tantalize my pallet with.


Ye Gawds.

hunter s.durden

 :lulz:

Not to be bashing anyone, but WTF was that supposed to mean?
This space for rent.

LMNO

Apparently, he smears key lime pie on a mattress made of straw.

And ends sentences with dangling prepositions.

I know, I know, 50 post suggestion.


But still.


Oh, hell, I can't help it.

QuoteThe waitress approaches and serves up yet another cup of steaming hot toxic waist.

P3nT4gR4m

Quote from: LMNO on March 26, 2007, 04:06:12 PM

I know, I know, 50 post suggestion.


Go on - be a devil. Yuo know you want to  :evil:

I'm up to my arse in Brexit Numpties, but I want more.  Target-rich environments are the new sexy.
Not actually a meat product.
Ass-Kicking & Foot-Stomping Ancient Master of SHIT FUCK FUCK FUCK
Awful and Bent Behemothic Results of Last Night's Painful Squat.
High Altitude Haggis-Filled Sex Bucket From Beyond Time and Space.
Internet Monkey Person of Filthy and Immoral Pygmy-Porn Wart Contagion
Octomom Auxillary Heat Exchanger Repairman
walking the fine line line between genius and batshit fucking crazy

"computation is a pattern in the spacetime arrangement of particles, and it's not the particles but the pattern that really matters! Matter doesn't matter." -- Max Tegmark

hunter s.durden

Actually if he hopes to write he needs this sort of criticism.
I was thinking 50 too, but c'mon...

He needs a dictionary/thesaurus as well.
Typically a tantalizing priviledge is not from a worst experience.

Remember GD- We are trying to be constructive.
This space for rent.

LMNO

Oh, ok then.

Quote,ÄúSon, ya,Äôll look justa,Äôbout have,Äôn had ta,Äô watched yer dog die.,Äù The long and shallow accentuations of her southern draw does little more than remind me of the depths to which I have been banished.

QuoteThey have lived their entire life busting ass for tips they only get if their customer leaves les pissed off and callow than as they came.

Quote,ÄúI,Äôm suffering from a pore perspective on one big fucking moral dilemma.,Äù



Maybe he should throw the sex and violence back in, to distract us from this sort of stuff.

P3nT4gR4m

Quote from: hunter s.durden on March 26, 2007, 04:14:11 PM

Remember GD- We are trying to be constructive.


Speak for yourself dude, personally I'm trying to see if I can make him kill himself  :evil:

I'm up to my arse in Brexit Numpties, but I want more.  Target-rich environments are the new sexy.
Not actually a meat product.
Ass-Kicking & Foot-Stomping Ancient Master of SHIT FUCK FUCK FUCK
Awful and Bent Behemothic Results of Last Night's Painful Squat.
High Altitude Haggis-Filled Sex Bucket From Beyond Time and Space.
Internet Monkey Person of Filthy and Immoral Pygmy-Porn Wart Contagion
Octomom Auxillary Heat Exchanger Repairman
walking the fine line line between genius and batshit fucking crazy

"computation is a pattern in the spacetime arrangement of particles, and it's not the particles but the pattern that really matters! Matter doesn't matter." -- Max Tegmark

hunter s.durden

I knew that was coming...
This space for rent.

Triple Zero

can somebody explain why dangling prepositions are something to make a problem of?

(that was one, right? not an easy feat to accomplish, i must say)
Ex-Soviet Bloc Sexual Attack Swede of Tomorrow™
e-prime disclaimer: let it seem fairly unclear I understand the apparent subjectivity of the above statements. maybe.

INFORMATION SO POWERFUL, YOU ACTUALLY NEED LESS.

LMNO

Well, it's not "proper" grammar, and the guy did say he was a writer.

I think the AP style book is starting to cut it some slack, but still, it's not really something you want to mess around with.

:oops:

Triple Zero

with a littlebit of practice, a dangling proposition is not very hard to end a sentence with

hahaaa, the hang is what i'm getting this of
Ex-Soviet Bloc Sexual Attack Swede of Tomorrow™
e-prime disclaimer: let it seem fairly unclear I understand the apparent subjectivity of the above statements. maybe.

INFORMATION SO POWERFUL, YOU ACTUALLY NEED LESS.

Cramulus

dangling prepositions I could do without