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If you really want to hurt your parents, and you don't have the nerve to be a homosexual, the least you can do is go into the arts. But do not use semicolons. They are transvestite hermaphrodites, standing for absolutely nothing. All they do is show you've been to college.

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Murmur Outlandish

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The planchette says:
Personal text:
Lawn sprinkler in a rainstorm
Age:
46
Location:
Delicious Hostess Fruit Filling
Date registered:
November 11, 2008, 02:38:17 AM
Local Time:
March 29, 2024, 12:15:24 PM
Last active:
April 27, 2014, 08:57:34 AM
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Tolerable Terror for Toddlers Legionaire, Nixon Division™

"Onlookers will be horrified and amazed by the sheer volume of fluid."--TGRR

"SaraLee, I say unto you!  If ye have a cake and halve it, and then halve it yet again, you would have four quarters and yet still not have a dollar.  Eat of that cake, for it is cake which is NOT cake, which ye may have half a mind to have at a reasonable price, yet in indecision achieve satori with said stale Moon Pie.  That's what you get when YOU FUCK WITH US." - DOUR