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I was sat in work during a dull team meeting a whiles back, and the boss hit the part of the agenda reserved for complaints. A local had complained that the noise of our cognitively impaired dudes using the trampoline was disturbing her sleep, which she needed for her Very Important Job (tm)

MIDWAY through our boss delivering this speech, the wind picked up, and threw the fucking trampoline through a trellis, over a seven foot high wall, whereupon it landed right side up and undamaged, in her (complainant's) fucking back yard.

Eris!

He sounds remarkably like a modern day Otherkin. I can totally see him sitting there by candle-light sketching his OC in charcoal, then by day bumming around in a long oilskin jacket striking poses. All power to him, man. That's actually kind of cool, I love mitties.

I had a weird thought when I was reading about some Grimoire or other and it was this;

It does not make narrative sense to imagine that in antiquity, a person might write a meaningless book that seems superfically magical. The narrative of a sixteenth century, dusty "book of spells" that is just abject nonsense and means nothing does not suit, it does not fit. We refuse to believe it. We will go to extraordinary lengths to justify that this text means something / does something... Rationalizing it as like, okay, it actually allows us to do something magic. Or; it contains great truths if it is interpreted poetically and knowingly...

The idea that one day Some Bloke might sit down and go; ho fucking hum I'm going to draw a bunch of angles and write spooky things in an odd tone... Then I'm going to sign it with my weird made up name... Magister Magus Glenn Ravenwhiteround. It's too... Simultaneously mundane and weird. It is completely unsatisfactory to us so we never even Think it.

Yet Livejournal existed.

Drink?

There's a kebab shop, fried chicken place, chippy and three offies immediately there when you leave our street for the main drag.

The most bastardly thing I ever saw was when I lived in a similarly fun area a few miles down the road. The local Booze Busters did payday loans and prepaid electricity.

NAVY SEAL COPYPASTA

When people tell me they can lift (x)lbs I have no frame of reference so I don't know if it's good or not :/

bread, dipped in anything runnier than bread.

do you also eat pain au chocolat and shag everyone you know by lunchtime?

*initiates secret dylan moran fan handshake*

I'd pay decent money to be able to get keys cut in that style.

Seriously, hours of fun, everywhere where there's keyholes.

http://www.goulian.com/lockkill/

Close enough?

bread, dipped in anything runnier than bread.

Each of my books weighs about eight pounds, with the consequence that I have to pick one to bring to school. I will be at school all fucking day.

Urgh.

Eventually I will either develop a system, or. I don't know. Rent a locker?

Or get big from all the lifting

I'M HELPING! 

Mr Miyagi parable

You fuck pig mouth end, fine,

You fuck pig hind end, fine,

You try to fuck the pig from the side? SPLAT

Anyone here ever serve in a military?

I've been wondering about the FFL.

You should do it.  It will help us forget.

noice